3
Hatching
Rumple raced down the silent streets of Storybrooke, trying not to run red lights and get pulled over, knowing he needed to get to Bae's dojo without added complications, considering he already had one sitting in the back seat. Regina dozed while looking out the window, she had to come along since Belle would have her hands full with two teething babies and Jimmy would need to help her, and not attempt to watch Regina at the same time. Attempt being the operative word because Jimmy and Regina together were like dynamite and fire, eventually something would explode.
"Unca Rumple, are you gonna deliver the swan chick like you did Daria and Dylan?"
Rumple shook his head. "No, dearie. That was a—special case. We're going to bring Emma to the hospital and let the doctor deliver the baby, which is usually how it's done."
"Aww! But I wanna see it get borned!" she pouted.
"Sorry, Regina. That is not happening," he said firmly, and he was going to do his damndest to see that Emma was delivering at a hospital, the way she wanted to. He never wanted to go through another home birth again.
They pulled up at the dojo a moment later, seven minutes after Rumple had gotten the frantic phone call from Bae that Emma was in labor and his car had a blown out tire, and they were heading back home to wait for him. Luckily, he'd already been awake cuddling his son, and trying to soothe the teething pains so he could sleep. Because his babies had fae traits, he didn't like using magic on them unless absolutely necessary, as the magics tended to collide, and cancel each other out. So he'd been giving Dylan a frozen ring and rubbing Oragel and whiskey on his gums to mitigate the throbbing ache when Bae called.
"Stay in the car!" he ordered Regina, then he got out to see if Emma needed help.
Bae already had Emma's bag in his hand, and went and threw it in the Caddy, before turning to help his wife out of the Escape. "C'mon hon, the cavalry's here."
Emma took her husband's hand and her father-in-law's. "Thank God you're here, Rumple. I texted my dad but they sleep like the dead when Regina's not there." She was panting like a racehorse that had just run the Derby.
"Breathe, dearie. And I'm afraid I had to bring Regina with me, since Belle can't handle two screaming babies and one toddler who drives you to drink. And if I left Jimmy in charge of her, it's anyone's guess if my house would still be standing when I got home." He gave her his arm, ever the gentleman.
Emma chuckled. "Yeah, not a good idea."
Together, they helped her into the Cadillac, after spreading a towel on the seat just in case her water broke on the way there.
"Emma! Emma! Is the swan chick hatching yet?" Regina cried eagerly, half-standing in her booster seat.
"It's getting there, kid."
"Oooh! When can I see it?"
"Later," Emma panted.
"Regina, put that seat belt back on," Rumple ordered, getting in the car.
The little girl slid back into the seat with a thump. "Okay, okay. Don't be an ole grouch!"
Rumple gave her a Look. "Don't sass me, young lady. I have no patience for your shenanigans right now. So unless you want a sore behind and time out . . ."
"Noo!" she whined. Then she saw Bae climb in the car beside her and said, "Bae, when the swan chick's borned, you're gonna be a daddy."
"Yeah, I know," Bae said, and ruffled her hair.
"Whatcha gonna name it?"
As Rumple pulled out of the parking lot, Bae began telling Regina the names they had picked out for the baby.
Emma concentrated on breathing, counting, and not cursing and shouting.
It was now around 5:30 AM and more traffic was on the road, as people had to get up and go to work at the cannery and the docks. Rumple was forced to slam on the breaks several times and honk the horn at the idiots driving.
"Ahh, come on, you—" he bit off what he was about to say.
"Jackass!" Regina filled in helpfully. "Go back to driving school and learn something!"
Bae and Emma started laughing.
"Regina!" Rumple reproved.
"What? Mommy always says that when somebody cuts her off."
"Well, your name's not Mary Margaret, is it?" Rumple asked testily. "Don't repeat everything."
Regina huffed. "Idiots who can't drive oughta be banned from the road."
Five minutes later, they were in a traffic jam because two cars had almost hit each other in the intersection.
"Papa! We're ten minutes from the hospital and going nowhere!" Bae cried.
"Gold, we'd better be going somewhere in two minutes or else you're gonna deliver this baby in the car!" Emma yelped.
"No!" both men cried, panicked.
Rumple swore.
"Ahh, sh-oot!" Emma whimpered. "I think my water just broke."
"Umm, okay, dearie, hang on!" Rumple said, trying to go around the jam.
"What water? Did a water bottle spill on ya?" Regina asked, trying to see.
"Something like that, kid," Emma grunted. Her hands were clenched so hard she left bleeding crescents in her palms. "Bae . . .!"
He reached out and grabbed her hand. "I'm here, sweetheart. How far apart now?"
"Umm . . .they're closer together . . .I think . . ."
"Aww hells! Papa . . .do something!"
"Just what in the bloody blazes d'you think I've been doing?" Rumple snarled. "Oh, Jesus H. Christ! I've had enough of this!"
He placed his hands on the dashboard and suddenly golden light was surrounding the car. "Get ready, dearies. Because if I can't drive us to the hospital, I'm bloody well flying us there!"
"You're what?" Emma gasped.
"Cool! Unca Rumple, make the car fly!" Regina cheered. "Whoo hoo!"
The car suddenly lifted off the ground and soared up into the air, gaining altitude like an albatross in flight.
"Whoa! I can see the whole town!" Regina cheered. "They look like toys."
"Papa, I didn't know you could make a flying Delorian," Bae said, his eyes wide.
"Neither did I, but necessity is the mother of invention," Rumple said. "Speaking of mothers . . .let's get you to the hospital on time, dearie!"
The car began gliding towards Storybrooke General.
"Hurry, Rumple!" Emma groaned. "Oooh damn that was big one!"
Bae rubbed her hand. "Almost there, honey. Umm . . .try to breathe like we learned in Lamaze class."
"I've been trying, Bae! You need to try when something the size of a watermelon is forcing itself out of a hole the size of a grapefruit." Sweat was dripping down her face.
"Emma, are ya laying an egg?"
"I wish!" she called back, trying not to laugh. "I think chickens have it easy."
Rumple was having more trouble than he expected trying to control the car as it flew. It was not as easy as people thought.
The car bounced slightly and Bae went pale. "Papa, dear God, don't let us crash!"
"I'm not. Now hush! I'm concentrating!" Sweat stood out on the sorcerer's brow also.
"Ya know what, Bae?"
"What?"
"We're flying in a car just like the Jetsons!" Regina announced. "Ya ever watch that cartoon?"
"Umm . . .yeah I used to," he answered.
"Hey, Unca Rumple! Maybe the car'll fly better if I sing the song," she proposed. Then she began singing in a very dramatic though on-key voice, the theme song to the popular cartoon. "Meet George Jetson . . ." right in Rumple's ear.
Rumple almost lost control of the car. "Regina! Be quiet, I'm driving, dearie!"
"You're not driving, Unca Rumple, you're flying."
Rumple wanted to strangle her. "Don't make me pull this car over! I mean it!"
"Papa, just fly, dammit! Before I have to deliver the baby right here!"
"Oh hell no, Gold! Step on it, Doc Brown!" Emma yelled.
The car surged forward, and a crosswind hit it, causing it to buck for a moment like a rodeo bronc.
"Whee! I'm on a roller coaster!" Regina shrilled. " . . .his daughter Judy . . ." she continued singing.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Bae groaned, he had never done well with turbulence.
"No, you're not!" Emma yelled. "If anyone's gonna be sick, it's me. Rumple, any chance you can make us get off this ride? I feel like I'm on Airplane!"
Rumple gulped, for the jouncing wasn't doing his stomach any favors either. He gritted his teeth and forced the car to level out and shot past the crosswind. "There! I can see the hospital now, dearies. Almost there!"
"Jesus, Mary, & Joseph!" Bae prayed. "Thank God, Papa!"
The Cadillac glided smoothly to a halt right in front of the emergency room doors, touching down with a faint jolt on the landing.
"Ten points, Papa!"
"We made it!" hooted Regina.
Behind them an ambulance nearly crashed as it went patrolling by, the driver's eyes bugging out that he'd just seen a Cadillac fly. "Holy shit! I've seen a house fly, a horse fly, and a shoo fly, but I ain't never seen a Caddy fly!" He rubbed his eyes. "Need more coffee 'cause I think I'm still dreamin'!"
Bae rushed into the hospital and commandeered a wheelchair. "Here, Em!" he said, and Rumple helped her into it.
"You go inside and I'll park," Rumple said. Luckily, there was a space available right in the front.
When he got inside, holding Regina's hand, a nurse had already assigned Emma a bed, and had paged Dr. Jo to come down.
By the time the doctor arrived, the nurse had taken Emma's vitals, started an IV, and had equipped a fetal heart monitor and placed it on Emma's tummy.
A sound like a washing machine thumping filled the room.
Regina looked around. "What's that?"
"The baby's heart," Emma said, tearing slightly. She had heard the baby's heartbeat before, of course, when they did the ultrasounds, but now when she heard it all she thought about was finally holding her baby.
Bae's own eyes were glassy. "Soon we're gonna be able to see him."
"Her," Emma corrected automatically.
Regina frowned. "Don'tcha know what the baby's gonna be?"
"No. We . . .wanted to be surprised," Bae told her.
"You'll know soon enough, Mr. and Mrs. Gold," said Dr. Jo. "You're about three centimeters, Emma, now let's get you upstairs to maternity." She summoned an orderly and they all wheeled Emma on the gurney into the elevator to third floor maternity.
"Whoa! It's like a hotel!" Regina said upon seeing the room they were brought to.
The room was large, spacious even, with a comfortable bed, curtains on the windows, comfy stuffed chairs, a large TV, a nightstand, rolling table, and attached bathroom. Flowers were on the table.
Bae put the bag down and came over to Dr. Jo. "Do you know how much longer?"
"Well, she's about 3 centimeters, so we have a ways to go yet. Maybe a few hours before she's gonna be able to push. We'll send up some water and ice chips. There's two vending machines and an ice machine just down the hall. When she's dilated, we'll put her in a gown and bring her to the delivery room. And we'll have gowns for you, and your papa, and the little one too so she doesn't feel left out. With caps."
"And what do we do in the meantime?"
"We'll keep checking on her every hour, and there'll be an anesthesiologist to give her the epidural in about two hours, once she's dilated to five centimeters. In the meantime, she can rest, walk around the room, watch TV, whatever she wants to do to keep calm and focused."
"I was afraid she might have the baby on the way here," Bae confessed.
The OB shook her head. "No, not yet. But she's coming along nicely."
Bae returned to Emma, who was sitting on the bed, having been assisted into a hospital gown, though she still had her maternity pants on. "Okay, so why don't we practice our breathing? How are you feeling?"
"Like a dinosaur is trying to get out of me," she answered. Then she took his hand, squeezing it hard when the pains began again.
Bae winced, but said nothing. He blotted her forehead with a tissue and said, "Okay, ready. On three . . ." they counted breaths together, and once she was breathing, the pain lessened and she went to lie down, closing her eyes.
While she rested, Bae called Snow and David again, this time getting a hold of Snow, who had been in the shower. "I'll be right over. But I have to call the school first and tell them to get a sub and David's in a meeting with the town council, so he'll meet us later."
"Your mom's on her way," Bae told Emma, listening to the reassuring whistle of the heart monitor.
"Good. Rub my back?"
Bae went to sit on the other side of the bed, and began rubbing her back, trying to ease her discomfort. As before, his massage helped immensely.
Rumple turned on the TV, trying to find something on suitable for Regina to watch.
Regina, however, eternally curious, wandered out into the hallway and peered at a cart full of supplies parked near the room. "What's that for?" she asked an aide in a purple shirt.
"That's stuff to help new moms get a bath," the aide replied kindly.
"Why? Can't they just take a shower?"
"Well, sometimes the mom's really tired and can't move around much, so we help them," the aide explained.
"Ya mean there's lots of mom's having babies here?"
"Oh yes. They're in all the rooms," the aide gestured.
"Neat!" Regina was about to go into the next room and introduce herself when she heard her uncle calling.
"Come here, dearie," Rumple called. "I found cartoons for you to watch."
With a happy squeal, Regina came to watch Scooby Doo.
Emma shifted around, she was feeling like a leaky faucet and being wired up to all these machines made her feel like she was a science experiment. Then there was the constant contractions. "Hells bells, Bae! I feel like a science experiment that's bleeding all over." She glanced over at Regina. "Should she be in here watching this?"
"She's not watching you, wild swan. She's watching TV. You want some ice chips? Candy?"
"Yes." At that precise moment, a contraction came and she buried her face in the pillow. "Sonuvbitch! When he comes back here, I'm punching him out!" she half-hissed.
Suddenly she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder. "I couldn't do this for Belle, dearie, since the twins were affecting my magic, but . . .how's this feel?"
A sudden warmth surged through her, like the touch of sunlight, and wherever it touched, it soothed the pain down to manageable levels. "Ohhh, my Gold!" Emma sighed in rapture. She turned over and grabbed her father-in-law's hand. "Whatever you did, you are the most amazingly perfect man ever put on the earth!"
Bae dropped the package of Lifesavers on the floor and the ice chips nearly followed. "He's what?" he gaped at his wife, who was looking at his papa like he'd hung the moon. A look she'd never given him.
"I worked a bit of magic on her, Bae. So she's not feeling much pain," Rumple explained, slightly red.
"Oh, is that all?"
Emma refocused on her husband. "All? All? I oughta deck you, Gold!" her skyblue eyes were sharp as lasers. "You try going through this pain for seven hours or whatever the hell it's been you cousin to a camel's fat arse!"
"Emma, I just meant—"
She half-lunged at him off the bed.
Rumple grabbed her arm. "Easy, dearie. You'll tear out all the wires and that's not a good idea. You can always dismantle him later. Now why don't you relax and enjoy the fact that you're not feeling like someone's chewing up your insides, okay?"
She beamed beatifically at Rumple. "See? He gets it." Then she started to giggle giddily.
Regina woke up from where she'd been dozing. "Emma, what's so funny?"
"Everything!" she chirped. "I feel . . .light as a feather! Like I'm walking on air!" Only Rumple's arm steadying her prevented her from spinning around and around like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.
Bae rubbed his eyes. "Papa, what in hell? One minute she's ready to rip me apart and now she's—laughing?"
"Err . . .that's a side-effect of the pain block spell, dearie. Makes her a little bit loopy."
Regina pressed a button on the TV remote.
Babe came on and the mice chanted The Sheep Pig!
Emma's head swiveled around and she started singing. "La-lal-laa!"
Bae almost wet himself laughing. "Holy crap! It's like she's high!"
Rumple looked a bit embarrassed. "Maybe I should have toned it down a notch."
"No, this is better than her wanting to kick my ass," his son disagreed. He picked up the bag of Life Savers. "Em, want some candy?"
She looked delighted, like a kid at Christmas. He opened the bag and handed her a green one. She shook her head. "No. I don't want the green one. That's for wicked witches. I want . . .the gold one!" she pointed to the yellow Life Saver. "Gold 'cause I'm Mrs. Gold!" She popped it into her mouth. "Mmm!" Then she began to bob back and forth singing, "I'm Walking on Sunshine".
"Papa, where's my phone? I gotta record this!" Bae giggled. He'd never seen his normally serious wife act like this, even when she was drunk.
Regina looked at the Life Savers and blurted, "Least there's no butthole flavor like the one Mr. Clark made me try at his store."
Rumple faced palmed himself in remembrance. That had been the day he'd worn his fuzzy tiger slippers to the store without realizing it.
Bae was giggling so much he sounded like Rumple did when he was the Dark One.
Emma walked up to Bae and took his hands in hers. "Bae, let's play the Minister's Cat, like Bree and Roger in Drums of Autumn." She reminded him of a high-as-a-kite teenager. She pulled him back until they were both sitting on the bed. "Okay. You start," she urged. Then she took Rumple and pulled him down to sit on the other side of her. "You can play too, Rumple."
"Um, all right, dearie."
"The minister's cat is an abysmal cat," Bae began.
"The minister's cat is an arrogant cat," Emma said. "Your turn, Rumple.
"The minister's cat is an aerodynamic cat."
"The minister's cat is a brilliant cat," Bae continued.
"The minister's cat is a butt-ugly cat," Emma giggled.
"The minister's cat is a boisterous cat," Rumple added.
Regina yawned. This game was boring! She turned back to the TV, but even Babe didn't hold her interest.
Then she recalled that the nurse had said that there were vending machines with snacks down the hall.
Rumple, Bae, and Emma were now on "F" of describing the minister's cat, and paying no heed to the little girl, who darted over to Rumple's discarded jacket and felt about in the pocket for change for the machine. Instead her tiny hand encountered Gold's billfold. Snatching it without any qualms, she darted out the door.
Behind her, Emma yodeled, "The minister's cat is a gr-r-umpy cat!"
Regina pattered down the hall, her light-up Reeboks blinking like flares as she ran over to the big machines in the alcove. There were three of them, two had candy and snacks and the other was one that looked like a water dispenser.
Regina stood on tiptoe. She couldn't reach the slot to put the bill with Ben Franklin on it inside. Huffing, she went to see if there was anything she could stand on. She saw a chair in the hallway and dragged it over.
Then she climbed on it and shoved the bill in the slot. She figured since there were lots of them in Uncle Rumple's wallet they were dollar bills, since her daddy always said people carried lots of dollars with them.
The machine whirred and blinked.
Regina peered at all the candy and pressed several buttons for the ones she liked best—Reeses, Baby Ruth, Hersheys, and Raisinets.
Abruptly, the machine began spitting out all the candy she had requested, as well as several bills.
"Oooh! I'm rich!" the little girl squealed, and grabbed all her loot.
She then moved the chair to the next machine and proceeded to do it again, getting Lays BBQ chips, Doritos, Fritos, and cheese crackers.
She repeated the process, until the machines quit spitting out money and the two were quite empty.
Then she went and stuffed some of her loot in her pockets and down her shirt. Finding she couldn't carry it all, she found a plastic bag hanging off one of the wheeled carts, took it, and stuffed it full of everything she had gotten from the vending machines.
She turned to skip back to the room and share her snacks but then she passed a room where a woman was lying in a bed, staring at something that looked like prison food on a tray in front of her. "Hey, lady! You wanna Hershey bar?"
The woman looked up to see a little girl standing there. "Sure but . . .who are you?"
"Regina. And that looks 'sgusting." She came and handed the lady the candy. "If that's what they give you to eat here, no wonder ya don't get better."
Five minutes later, the child had visited half the rooms on the east side of maternity, and handed out half of the snacks she had gotten from the vending machine to the patients there.
Becoming hungry herself, Regina headed back to the room.
When she entered, the three adults were still playing the boring game. Regina climbed on a chair and began spreading out the remainder of the snacks on the table.
Bae glanced up after declaring that, "The minister's cat was a ridiculous cat," and almost passed out. "Whoa! What'd you do, buy out the machine?"
Rumple looked up at his son's exclamation. "Bae, what—where in God's name did you get that, dearie?"
Regina looked up, a bag of Doritos in one hand and a Reeses in the other. "I put a dollar in the machine, Unca Rumple! And it gave me all this!"
"A dollar!" Rumple goggled. "I don't think so, dearie! Where did you get the money?"
"Umm . . .I borrowed some," she said, squirming guiltily.
"Borrowed some from whom?" he asked, frowning.
"Your wallet." She held out the billfold. "You got lots of 'em."
Rumple took his billfold back. "Lots of—oh good heavens! You didn't put a dollar in the machines, Regina Nolan! You put a hundred dollars!"
Emma whistled. "So that's why there's so much candy!" she took an M & M's.
"Umm . . .I gave some to the ladies down the hall," Regina admitted. "Cause Mommy always says it's good to share and they had 'sgusting food like jailbirds."
"Uh oh! Looks like someone's been imitating Oliver Twist!" Emma sniggered and ate an M & M.
Rumple stared at all the snacks, then at his niece, and put his hands on his hips. "Regina Nolan, how many times have I told you to keep your sticky fingers to yourself?"
The child hung her head. "But Unca Rumple! I was hungry!"
"Then you should have asked me and I would have gotten you one or two snacks," he lectured. "Not fifty! And you took my wallet without asking. That's called stealing, dearie."
"I put it back!" she objected. "S'only stealing if ya keep it!"
"Don't split hairs with me, miss," the sorcerer said exasperatedly. "You took my money and bought out half the machine!" He tapped a foot on the floor. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
She pouted. Then she sniffled. "Sorry, Unca Rumple!"
"Corner, Regina."
She sulked. "Noo!"
"Shall I count to three?"
She dragged her feet, sniveling. "You're mean! Mean! Mean! MEAN!"
"Five minutes." He timed her on his watch.
When he called her to come out, she was still sulky, and refused to come to him. "I's not talkin' to you!" she sniffed.
"Okay, suit yourself."
"Where's my mom?" Emma muttered. "Shouldn't she be here by now?"
"Let me call her again," Bae said. He pressed redial.
Snow was stuck in traffic, unable to move forward or backward. All because Sleepy had fallen asleep at the wheel and run over Bambi. Now there was a deer lying in the road, Sleepy's truck had been rear-ended, and there was a five car pile-up behind him.
Snow groaned. Clearly she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She just hoped Emma would understand. Her cell rang.
"Hello? Bae, you'll never guess what happened . . ." she explained the situation. "I'll try and be there as quick as I can. I love you, Emma! You'll be fine, love!" She blew her daughter a kiss over the phone.
Page~*~*~*~Break
Another hour passed. The doctor returned to check on Emma again. "You're starting to progress," she told her. The men and Regina were standing in the hallway, giving them some privacy. "You're about 4 centimeters. In another, we can give you the epidural. Would you like anything else for the pain? I could give you Stadol."
Emma shook her head. "No . . .I'm okay," she said, thinking Rumple's spell worked beautifully. She felt distanced from the contractions in her lower half.
"Okay, the baby's doing fine according to what I see here," she gestured to the monitors. "Be back soon. Hang in there. This is the worst part."
Emma exhaled softly as the doctor pulled off her gloves.
"Is the baby okay? Emma, how you doing?" Bae asked as he pulled back the curtain .
"I'm . . .fine, Bae. Just fine! Everything's fine!" she chirped, feeling a strange urge to start singing again. "Bring me some hair clips."
As Bae helped put her hair up, she started warbling, "I feel pretty so pretty-ahh-haa!"
Bae grinned. "You kinda sound like Katie Perry there."
"Unca Rumple, this is taking for-ever!" Regina complained. "Can't ya just magic the swan chick outta her?"
"Afraid not. Babies are something that have to happen on their own," her uncle told her. Even if there were spells to speed up delivery, he didn't know them, nor would he attempt one. It was too dangerous.
Emma was seized with the urge to move. "Let's walk, Bae."
"Okay." He helped her to her feet.
Together, both men and Regina walked with her around the room. They walked around and around, until Emma said she needed to walk in a straight line, then they went into the hallway.
They walked up and down, with the men talking softly to Emma and teasing her about taking her sweet time showing them the newest Gold. Regina followed, pushing the IV stand.
"I remember walking like this when Mama was having the twins," Bae said, his wife's elbow tucked in the crook of his arm.
"Yes, and you started arguing with me and Belle nearly bit off our heads," Rumple recalled.
"Me? You started it!" Bae protested.
Emma shot him an irritated glance. "Knock it off! Before I bang your heads together."
Both men mumbled apologies.
As they passed the nurse's station one smirked and said, "She's gonna make a good mom."
Emma beamed. Then she stopped as another contraction overtook her.
Regina huffed behind them. She was so bored! All they were doing was marching up and down like they were in the army. Back and forth. At first it had been fun, but now she was sick and tired of it.
"I'm gonna go drink my juice box," she told Rumple. The juice box was on the table in the room.
"Okay, dearie," Rumple said, and Regina scurried into the room.
They resumed walking again.
Regina finished her juice box and wandered around the room again. There was nothing interesting to do, Uncle Rumple, Bae, and Emma were still marching, and she didn't feel like watching TV. She wished her mommy were here. They always played fun games on her phone.
She peered out into the hallway and saw a lady being wheeled into the elevator. There was an empty wheelchair across from the elevator.
The elevator doors whoosed shut. Then she heard a nurse say she had to go down to the children's ward and deliver some kind of medicine, and wheeled a computer into the elevator. It dinged and went down.
There's other kids in this place? Regina thought excitedly. She desperately wanted another kid to play with. She darted out the door, and pressed the button to the elevator.
When the doors swooshed, she hopped into it, it was empty. She pressed the button marked 2 and the doors shut and it went down.
When she walked out of the elevator, she couldn't see any kids around. Just more sterile hallways and women in colored uniforms going back and forth. Deciding this place was better than the other one, she skipped down the hall, peering into the rooms as she went.
Most of the patients in these rooms were asleep, with funny machines beeping and whirring beside them.
She paused beside one door which was open, and saw a man sitting up, with a white bandage around what Regina was sure was his willie. She gaped at it. Why would anyone have a bandage there? Then she recalled going with David to the vet once for Princess's shots and someone in the waiting room saying they had gotten their dog "snipped" and when she asked what that was, her dad had said it was surgery so the boy dogs couldn't have puppies. "It's like when they castrate a stallion," the former princes explained. "They remove their—uh—manly parts."
Her eyes widened. She didn't know they could remove people's manly parts too.
She walked into the room, and said, "Hi! Didja have an operation?"
The man was startled, and he leaped to cover himself. "Who're you?"
"I'm Regina." She pointed to the man's crotch, now covered by the sheet. "Didja get snipped like the dogs? What's it feel like without balls?"
The man turned beet red. "Umm . . err . . . I still have . . .I mean . . ."
"Does it hurt? Did your wife make you do it?"
"Err . . .yes, it does and . . . no we both agreed not to have any more kids . . ."
"Why? Were they ugly dogs? Or did they gots something wrong with them?"
"N-No . . ."
Page~*~*~*~Break
Ten minutes later, Emma returned to her room, huffing and puffing. "Okay let's rest."
As they eased her down on the bed, Rumple looked around for Regina.
"Where's Regina?" he asked, a frission of panic beginning to make its way down his backbone.
"Maybe she went to the bathroom?" Bae suggested.
But the bathroom was empty.
Rumple went out into the hall to look for her. She was nowhere to be seen. He went and asked at the desk if they had seen a little girl recently wandering around. "We saw her walking with you, Mr. Gold."
"I know but that was ten minutes ago and now she's missing!" he said frantically. "She went back to the room to get a drink and now she's—gone!"
He felt his heart start racing like a triphammer in his chest.
"Calm down, Mr. Gold. I'm sure we'll find her soon," said a nurse soothingly. "Me and Marcy will help you look."
They began combing the rooms on the maternity wing, looking in each one and asking if anyone had seen a little girl with dark hair and light-up Reeboks recently. They checked the supply closet and carts.
No Regina.
Gold was on the verge of cardiac arrest.
How could I have been so careless? I know how that kid likes to wander. She's like the ocean. You can't take your eyes off her. Heaven only knows what she's gotten into.
Intermingled with the guilt and fear was also anger. When I find that little scamp, I'm going to paddle her behind! He was reminded of another time when Alina had gone missing in the supermarket, and how terrified he had been. Fear nearly caused him to hyperventilate, until he recalled he had one thing he hadn't had when he'd been under the Dark Curse. He had his magic.
He murmured a quick locator spell.
The glowing trail led him straight to the elevators.
Page~*~*~*~Break
"So how many kids ya got, Mr. Sprat?" Regina asked, now sitting in a chair next to the thin man in the bed.
"Six, and I think that's plenty, so . . ."
"Snip, snip!"
"Regina!" Rumple cried.
The little girl turned to see him standing in the doorway, looking torn between hugging her and strangling her. "Hi, Unca Rumple! I was bored marching so's I came here lookin' for other kids but I found Mr. Sprat instead. He got castrated!"
Mr. Sprat almost passed out.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry," Rumple blurted, horrified.
"No . . . I had a vasectomy." The man corrected. "And my wife went down to get lunch while we waited for the doctor to come back and your little niece came to visit me."
"She does that a lot. Visit people she doesn't even know," Rumple sighed. "I'm sorry she bothered you. She tends to ask a lot of inappropriate questions." He went and picked up Regina. "Young lady, I have been going insane looking for you!" he scolded as he went out of the room. "Why did you wander off like that? You know better!"
"Unca Rumple, I was bored!" she whined. "There ain't nothing to do over there!"
"That's no excuse! You could have been kidnapped!" he snapped. They went up the elevator to the third floor. Privately he thought anybody who kidnapped Regina would probably be begging to give her back after two hours.
"Did you find her?" Emma asked when they returned.
"Yes. Giving the third degree to a poor man with a vasectomy," Rumple sighed.
Emma started laughing. "Oh . . .oh . . .Jesus . . .!"
Bae joined her, nearly knocking over the ice chips.
The only ones not laughing at the moment were Regina and Rumple, who was giving his disobedient niece a Look.
"Unca Rumple, 'm sorry!" she whimpered.
"So am I, dearie, because now I have to punish you," he said with a shade of regret in his tone. "You promised to behave and you broke your deal with me. And you know what that means."
"No!" she wailed.
"Then you shouldn't have wandered off, and especially not into the elevator in a strange place and gone and talked to a strange man. You could have been hurt or kidnapped or . . .even killed and you nearly made my heart explode because I couldn't find you!" he ranted. "And now you're in serious trouble!" he pronounced in grim tones.
Bae winced at those words. "Ouch!"
Emma gave her sister a sad look. "Rumple, do you have to?"
He nodded. "Afraid so, dearie. This is one part of being a parent I never liked. Excuse us." He drew the curtain around the bed, shut the door to the room, cast a silent charm to soundproof the room, then he sat down in the chair across from the bed and placed the now contrite mischievous scamp over his knee.
Regina squirmed. "I'll be good!"
"I hope so. Don't fight me, you'll just get an extra swat."
Four stinging swats later, he cuddled a remorseful sobbing minx against his shoulder. "Next time don't wander off and we won't need to go through this," he remonstrated.
Behind the curtain, Emma whispered to Bae, "How many times did you hear that, huh?"
Bae coughed. "Too many. And that's gonna be us someday."
"But not today." She grimaced. "Damn! I think the pain spell's wearing off." She placed a hand on her tummy. "Kid, sometime today would be a good day to get born!"
The curtain was pulled back and an unhappy Rumple and Regina appeared. "That's one of the worst things you'll ever do as a parent," the sorcerer said.
"Not for you!" the little moppet sniffled. "You ain't the one with a sore butt!"
"No, but I have a sore heart, dearie," he told her softly. "It hurts me more than you."
"Then why do it?"
"Because obviously telling you to stay put didn't work, now did it? So you needed a more pointed reminder. Now be good and don't make me do this again."
"'Kay. M'sorry I scared you."
"You're forgiven, scamp." He kissed her forehead and blotted her face with his handkerchief.
Then he set her down. "Go commiserate with Bae, dearie. He's been where you are before."
"Did you have to remind me, Papa?" his son asked exasperatedly.
Regina ran up to him. "Did Unca Rumple spank you too, Bae?"
"Yeah, and I hated it too. But I learned my lesson." He put an arm around his sister-in-law. "Just like you. And he always hugged me afterwards."
"Unca Rumple's hugs are the bestest!"
"Yeah, I always thought so too," Bae said, and allowed her to snuggle against his knees.
Just then Emma whimpered as the last of the pain spell faded. "Bae . . .I really need that epidural now!" She began breathing hard, muttering swear words in her head, since she doubted her parents wanted Regina to come home with an entirely new vocabulary of colorful metaphors.
"Papa, can't you—" Bae began.
Before he could complete his sentence, the anesthesiologist appeared. "Hello, Mrs. Gold! I'm Doctor Butters. Ready for your epidural now?"
"I was ready two hours ago," Emma said with relief. "Stick it in me, doc."
The doctor wheeled a tray with a very large, very long needle over to the bed. "I need you to lie on your side, Mrs. Gold, and stay very still."
Bae stared at the needle in horrified fascination. "You're not gonna . . .stick that in my wife, are you?"
"Oh hell yeah!" Emma agreed.
"Whoa!" Regina cried, also fascinated.
"C'mere, Regina." Rumple took her from Bae. "Why don't we take a look at the paintings n the wall here?" He started to turn around when he heard Bae say, "That looks like a torture device! No way are you gonna stick that in her!"
"Mr. Gold, I assure you," the doctor began.
"Shut up, Gold! Don't listen to him, doc!" Emma hollered. "He's not the one in labor. Just do it!"
"Emma, have you seen the size of that needle! It's like for a horse!"
"Well, I'm almost the size of a horse! Don't start, Bae! Or else I'll tell him to stick you with one too!"
Regina peeked over Rumple's shoulder. "Unca Rumple, will the big needle hurt Emma?"
"Not as much as not having it will, dearie," he assured her.
Just then there was an odd groan and a muffled thump.
"You've got to be kidding me!" they heard Emma groan. "Rumple, where's your cane? Your Karate Kid just passed out!"
Page~*~*~*~Break
A few moments later, Bae woke to a hand lightly smacking his face. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!"
Bae opened an eye. "Funny, Papa. What happened?"
"You had a case of vapors, dearie," Rumple smirked.
"I what?" He sat up. His father was leaning over him, smirking like a Cheshire cat. "No . . .I didn't . . ." A flush crept up the back of his neck.
"Afraid so, Bruce Lee," Emma said from where she was lying. "And you wanted to deliver me at home?"
"That was different! I didn't think it would bother me so much . . .and then it did . . .and that damned big ass needle . . .!" He rubbed his hand over his eyes, chagrined. "Did it hurt?"
Emma shook her head. "Nope. Felt wonderful! Now . . .let's get this show on the road!"
Bae went to get into a gown and a cap, and Regina insisted on wearing one too.
Things went really quickly after that for some strange reason, and soon Emma was fully effaced and they were wheeling her into the delivery room when Snow finally arrived. "Mom! You made it!"
"Thank goodness! Hang on, I need to drop this stuff off," she panted, throwing her purse on a chair, saying hello to Rumple, who was holding a snoozing Regina, and pulling on her own cap, gown, and mask. "Okay, I'm going in!"
"Good luck, dearie!" Rumple waved.
Page~*~*~*~Break
Emma found she couldn't really remember all the details of giving birth to Henry, except bright lights and blue scrubs. And being chained to the bed. The only things different this go round was she wasn't in any real pain, her mother was there and so was Bae. Her family surrounded her, giving her their love and support.
Bae clasped her hand. "You can do this, Em. I believe in you."
She gave him a tired smile. "I know. Just don't pass out on me again, Bae."
"Again?" Snow gasped.
"Tell you later, Mom. I feel like I have to push."
She braced herself in the stirrups.
"Go ahead, Emma," urged Dr. Jo. "Push!"
"C'mon, honey, you can do it!" Snow urged.
Emma paused, panting.
"You're doing good, wild swan," Bae encouraged. He wished there was something else he could do to help her, but as with Belle's birth he really could do nothing more except watch in awe as his wife delivered their baby, their miracle, their swan chick.
"Why can't we lay eggs?" she cried.
The labor and delivery staff cracked up.
Snow patted her hand. "That's my girl, Emma!"
Emma scowled and pushed again.
"Good! I can see the top of the head!"
Emma bore down again.
"Head's out," announced the doctor. "Now slow down. Don't push."
Emma panted. "Why?"
"Just wait . . .wait . . ."
Snow squeezed her hand. "It's almost over, Emma."
"And . . .you'll be holding your grandchild," her daughter smiled.
"I love you, Emma," Bae said from her other side, ignoring the fact that he couldn't feel his hand anymore since she had crushed it in a vice like grip.
"Love you too, Bae. Stay with me."
"Always."
He bent and gave her a kiss, one brief affirmation of his enduring love for her.
She was tired, so very tired, but the kiss gave her renewed energy and determination. She could do this. She took the strength of his love and hers for him and used it to grant her the strength she needed.
She felt another contraction ripple through her. "Now?"
"Now! One . . . two . . .three!"
Two pushes later, the swan chick was born.
Dr. Jo quickly swabbed out the tiny nose and mouth before announcing, "You have yourselves a pretty little lass, Emma and Bae!"
A strident wail filled the air.
Bae had tears streaming down his face. It was the sweetest music he'd ever heard. "A girl! It's a girl, Emma!"
"Can I see her?" the new mom asked, also teary eyed.
"Here you go," the doctor laid the tiny girl on Emma's stomach.
Emma reached for her, and the baby clasped her hand. Blue eyes met indigo and an overwhelming wave of love swept through her. "Hello, swan chick. I'm your Mommy."
The baby made a soft cooing noise, recognizing her voice.
In that instant, Emma bonded with her daughter, cradling her to her breast, unmindful of the fluids covering her. My baby. Mine. And I'll love you forever.
This was what she had not allowed herself to do with her son . . .but this time was different. This time . . .no one was taking her baby away.
"Isn't she beautiful?" she asked Bae.
"Yeah. Look she has your eyes," he said, half-whispering.
"And your Stiltskin nose."
"Your chin. Stubborn."
"But your hair. It's cocoa colored."
Dr. Jo held out scissors. "Would you like to cut the cord, Papa?"
Bae did so, a little hesitantly, after she had tied it off. "Welcome to Storybrooke, baby Gold."
One of the nurses was there to take the baby to get cleaned up and her weight and height recorded along with other things.
Bae took half a step forward, not wanting the baby out of his sight.
"We have just a little more to do, Emma," the OB encouraged.
Bae kept his eyes on Emma as she delivered the afterbirth. "I don't wanna see you deliver your stomach," he joked.
"You're a riot, Gold. Be glad we're not some tribal culture where they made the father eat it." Emma said tartly.
"Emma! That's just disgusting!" Bae declared turning slightly green. Then he poked her. "You did that on purpose!"
She smirked. "Yeah, but you did good, Gold."
"No. We did good," he corrected, and kissed her.
Soon the nurse returned with the baby in her arms, and said, "Say hi to your daddy, pretty girl."
Bae took the baby in his arms, marveling at how light and yet solid she was. She cooed and gurgled, her skin now a rosy pink, her eyes blinking sleepily. "Hey, sweetling," he crooned. "Your daddy's here. Right here."
He leaned over to brush her petal soft head with his lips.
And felt her tiny hand close over his nose in what was seemingly a Gold family tradition, started by himself thirty years ago.
Mine.
He felt the same overwhelming protective all-encompassing love he did with Henry, though this was even more acute, because his baby girl was so helpless. And in that instant he knew two things—he would love this baby forever and he would die for her, without even batting an eye. "Hello, mo cridhe," he murmured. "My heart belongs to you."
Holding her close, he rocked her back and forth. She was the daughter of two heritages, royal and magical, and a child of two worlds. But best of all, she was daddy's little girl. Filled with a joy he could not even begin to express, Baelfire Gold grinned, gazing down at the tiny miracle in his arms, true love made flesh. My precious swan chick. Daddy loves you, my dear heart.
A/N: For all of you who guessed "Dumbo" as the movie that inspired the last chapter's title, you're correct! Gold star for ya! How did you like this chapter?
You'll find out the baby's name in the next one, and see how Regina reacts to her new niece! Thanks everyone for all your support!