Hi guys, I'm extremely sorry for the long delay in replying. As some of you may know, I moved away from home a couple of months ago to go to University. Well as I was here, I've been diagnosed with severe depression. I've barely been eating, sleeping or even living. It's been a struggle to get out of bed in the morning for the past 5 months. The past 3 months though it's just been really bad. I'm on some medication now to try and help fill the void in my life so that's how I've been able to write this chapter.
Don't get me wrong, I still feel like absolute shit and I still feel like I could burst into tears at anytime at all, but I am trying to move on with my life.
So please. Be gentle with me. I haven't written so much in a looooong time.
"None of you are going to school on Thursday." Rachel said over lunch on Tuesday.
"Rach we can't miss Cheerios practice." Quinn said
"Seriously. None of you are going to school Thursday or Friday. The full moon is Thursday night which means you could transform at anytime during Thursday." Rachel explained
"Yeah, the day of Rachel's transformation, she almost exploded in front of Karofsky and took his head off. I followed her into the woods as I knew what was happening."
"Gosh… is it… is it going to hurt?" Finn asked
"It is. It's gonna be excruciatingly painful. You're going to think you're dying and you are going to be in so much pain that you'll be worried you're going to pass out. But once the first transformation is over, it won't hurt ever again. I promise you." Rachel explained.
"Also, after you've transformed for the first time, your senses will become more alert. You'll be physically stronger and your abs will be more toned and defined than they already are."
"And more things will make sense after you transform." Brittany added, winking at Quinn and Santana especially.
"What are you talking about B" Santana asked
"You'll understand soon, don't worry." Brittany said, with a knowing smirk on her face. "Oh! And we're all staying at my house from Thursday to Sunday. My dad is taking Luke away and my Mom is going training with Shelby's pack so my parents have said we can stay at my house."
Everyone looked at Rachel shocked. They didn't know she'd been in contact with Rachel's biological Mom, let alone that she was a werewolf too.
"Who's Shelby?" Puck asked
"My mom." Rachel said, trying to shrug it off. Brittany put a comforting hand on her girlfriend's thigh a she could see right through Rachel's façade and knew that she was still wary about Shelby. Brittany shot warning glances at the rest of the group which warned them not to go firing in with questions.
Later on that day, Rachel met up with Shelby. They agreed to go out for dinner.
"Hey Rachel, it's so good to see you again!"
"Hello Shelby, how are you?"
"I'm good thanks honey, how are you?"
"Yeah I'm okay too. I'm more than okay actually. I'm… I'm super happy actually. I'm glad the way my life is going just now. I mean sure, having to train a whole bunch of newborn werewolves when I'm barely even mature enough myself was never in the plan… but sometimes life has a different agenda for you."
"That's great! I'm happy for you, that's all I've ever wanted for you Rachel, was for you to be happy." The waiter came over to take their orders.
"Sooo, Lesley's been keeping me updated on your pack's progress. I hear the big group transformation is this weekend yes?" Shelby said
"Yes. I'm nervous. I think I underestimated how out of control 4 brand new werewolves could be. I mean, I'm barely 4 months old myself." Rachel was rambling.
Shelby reached over and grabbed one of Rachel's hands. "Listen, you'll be fine. It will come naturally to you. Trust me. Alpha's always have this under control."
Rachel smiled at her mother. Glad to finally have some guidance.
"And in other news… I hear you finally mated over the weekend." Shelby said nonchalantly. Pretending to pick away at her nails.
"What?! Where did you hear this?!" Rachel said, blushing ferociously.
"Well it's easy to tell when a wolf has mated for the first time. They stand with a specific aura about them, they also have a slightly different smell about them. I bet Brittany has too."
"But that wasn't Brittany's first time…" Rachel said confused.
"That may be the case, but she'd never mated before. Sex and mating are two completely different things. Trust me, you'll figure that out one day…"
"That's super strange."
"Definietly."
"I have a question." Rachel said
"Fire away." Shelby replied
"Why did you give me up?"
Shelby took in a sharp inhale of breath and let it out slowly whilst looking at her daughter. "I didn't give you up Rachel. I wanted you so badly. So badly it hurt… You were taken from me. I was grieving for my husband who died protecting you and I. He knew I was pregnant so he refused to allow me to fight alongside him… I won't go into the whole story about that battle, that's a story for another day – but when he died, the authorities deemed me mentally unstable so you got taken away from me." Shelby said whilst wiping away a stray tear.
Rachel was shocked. Her fathers had always told her they adopted her from an agency, and they never met her birth mother.
"I'm sorry." Rachel said sincerely
"It's not your fault." Shelby said.
"Is it the same pack of wolves that are gonna try and kill us that killed your… my dad?"
Shelby nodded. "That's why I wanted you to protect yourself, and your mate. Because nothing urts more than your mate being taken away from you. I can't have you hurt in the same way."
Rachel was quiet for a while, taking in everything that her mom had told her. She never knew that it was as bad as that. It broke her heart to find out what had happened. She loved her Fathers but now, she also had a growing love for her mother.
"I understand, Shelby. A…and if you like, I'd like us to get to know each other as Mother and daughter. I know I'm not the baby girl you wanted, but I can try now to be the daughter you always wanted." Rachel said, a soft smile on her face.
"I'd like that, very much." Shelby said.
"soo… will you tell me more about these enemy packs?" Rachel said
"Well, there's a large number of them, but from what I've heard, most of them are idiotic, inexperienced and rubbish at fighting. But I'm letting you know, we'll need more wolves, my 7 and you 5 including you and me won't be enough. We're gonna need more."
Rachel nodded, lost in her own thoughts. She already knew they'd need more.
"We still have at least a year though before they attack."
"How many more do you think we'll need?"
"I reckon if we try and get at least 10 more each. If you can get any more than that, then great."
"Won't that be dangerous? We don't want to start putting innocent lives in danger."
"After the first few months, we become pretty good at controlling ourselves Rach. Innocent lives won't be in danger." Shelby said confidently.
"What's your pack like?"
"They're okay. Still need lots of work. Mine are all born wolves though, I haven't bitten anyone yet."
Rachel nodded again, trying to absorb all this new information.
"Do you think we should train our packs together?"
"Yes. Once we've both trained our packs and we've established our alliances in the pack. I trust you've chosen your beta's?"
"Yeah. Two people who I think will be true to the pack, true to me and most importantly, true to themselves."
Rachel looked at her mother, her heart was breaking for the woman. She couldn't even begin to imagine what she would be like if she lost Brittany. She would kill anyone that in the world that tried to ever hurt her Brittany.
"Rachel, calm down, you're growling. Stop letting your thoughts drive you crazy. I done that and look at the state of me." Shelby said
40 minutes later and Rachel had arrived home to find Santana pacing up and down her driveway, biting her nails. When she saw Rachel's car she flung her arms up in the air and came over to meet her.
"Finally! Where have you been?! I've been waiting her for ages!" Santana said.
"What's wrong?" Rachel said "Why are you here? Is everything okay?"
"No Rach! I… well… okay, how did you know you loved Brittany?"
Rachel sighed happily. "The way she looked at me. She looks at me like I'm the only person in the world. She makes me feel so special and loved. My heart feels full when I'm with her and it aches when I'm not… wait, what makes you ask?"
"Because I think I might be in love with Quinn…"
"You'd better come in then."
Santana paced up and down Rachel's bedroom mumbling to herself. Rachel was having a hard time deciphering what she was saying.
"Santana."
More mumbling
"Santana."
Even more mumbling.
"Santana! God dammit!" Rachel stood up and shook Santana.
"I love Quinn." Santana said, breaking down in Rachel's arms.
Rachel was quick to catch her, thanks to her super senses. "Santana. It's okay. I know it's difficult to understand but you can talk to me about how you're feeling. I've been in your shoes before."
"Yeah but you have 2 gay dads, you've grew up around happiness, and warmth, and my parents are homophobic assholes."
"San. My childhood was anything but happy. Let me tell you."
"What?" Santana said
"I don't want to talk about it."
"No. No bitch that's not fair! I'm here telling you my biggest secret ever, pouring my heart out to you and you don't want to tell me your secrets? I thought we were friends, no in fact, I thought you were my best friend. I guess I thought wrong."
Rachel felt tears in her eyes. She trusted Santana but this was a painful topic.
"When I was a little girl, before I moved here… my parents weren't always like they are now…"
Santana stopped pacing and turned to face Rachel who was sitting on the bed with her head hung.
"It started off that one of them would forget to come and pick me up from school, then they started to forget to cook me any dinner… but eventually they just forgot I was there. Heroin tends to do that to people…"
"Heroin? You mean…"
Rachel nodded. "Yes. My dads were addicted to heroin." Rachel said, barely above a whisper.
"What made them get clean?" Santana moved to sit next to Rachel on the bed.
"One night, they forgot I was there… again… because they were completely out of it and they ran out of drugs so they went out to get more. But they left a cigarette lit and it caught fire. When they returned the whole house was engulfed in flames and I was being rushed to hospital for smoke inhalation."
Santana was silent as she hugged the crying girl next to her.
"They came to the hospital and they promised to get better. They went to different rehab centres and they got clean. That's when we moved here and it was a clean start for them. No one knew of their past and they got good jobs and a nice home. They're the dads I remembered them to be."
"They are pretty awesome Rach." Santana said
"Yeah and you're awesome too! And you being attracted to girls won't change that!" Rachel said, facing Santana.
"What if my parents kick me out? I mean they kicked my brother out because he dropped out of college…"
"You will come and live here, with me… and my dads too obviously."
"I have one question…" Santana said. She had a sceptical look on her face.
"Fire away."
"Do your dads know, about us?"
"No." Rachel shook her head. "And they're not going to know. It's too dangerous."
"What do you mean dangerous?"
"There's going to be a war Santana. And it's gonna be bad."