6
Baby's Day Out
"Emma, maybe you'd better wait to take the baby out," Bae fretted. "She could catch a cold or something."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Bae, it's like eighty degrees out. Besides, she can't stay cooped up in the apartment forever. She needs to get out and see new things and experience other places. Get exposed to people and kids and the air so she builds up her immune system." Then she tossed her head. "Besides, I haven't seen anything but the four walls of this apartment for two weeks, so I think it's time we went on a little trip." She tickled the baby, who was lying on her playmat on the den rug. "Right, peanut?"
Ilyssa cooed at her and waved her fists.
Bae threw up his hands in surrender. "Okay. Far be it for me to argue with two stubborn women."
"All right, let me text my mom, she wanted to come and get a swimsuit for Regina." Emma said, picking up her cell. "You mind getting the diaper bag ready?"
"On it," her husband called.
Ten minutes later, Emma had gotten dressed and put Ilyssa into her infant seat, which could be buckled right into the base for a car seat. She turned to get her purse and the diaper bag. "Whoa! Gold, where'd you think we're going, Alaska? We're going to the department store down the road, not camping out for a month!" She held up the bag, which was filled with literally everything.
"Uh . . .I wasn't sure what you'd need," her husband said rather sheepishly.
"Well, I'm not gonna need two receiving blankets—it's hot out, or six outfits, if I was gonna stay by my mom's I might need that, but . . ." she rearranged the contents, taking out the extra things. Then, with the bag now three pounds lighter, she put it on her shoulder and picked up the seat, saying, "Ilyssa, you're coming with Mommy and going shopping!"
The baby squealed upon hearing her mother's voice.
"Oh great! Only six weeks and she already knows that word!" Bae groaned.
Emma smirked. "She's a girl, Gold. It's born in them. Get used to it."
"Have fun, swan chicks!" he called, blowing them a kiss, then he went to get changed into his gi for his first class of the morning.
Page~*~*~*~Break
Emma took the Bug, even though she could have used Bae's Escape too, because she was picking up Snow and Regina, and the Bug was more comfortable with passengers than the jeep. Her Bug now had a sign Baby Chick on Board—Caution! Henry had bought it for a baby gift, and also a little sunshade to put in the window where the car seat was.
Emma put on some tunes while she drove the few blocks to the loft. "I Hope You Dance" came on, and she sang along with it. So did Ilyssa. The new mother giggled. "Well, baby girl, neither of us will ever win a Grammy, but who cares, right?"
She stopped at a red light, and waved as Archie crossed with Pongo. "Morning, Archie!"
"Morning, Emma! How's the baby?" he called.
"Doing great. Taking her on her first shopping trip."
"Sounds like fun. Don't go broke!" he grinned.
"I'll try not to," she laughed, and then continued on to the loft.
Snow and Regina were waiting outside when they arrived. "They're he-e-ere!" Regina singsong, jumping up and down.
"Kid, you sound like the girl from Poltergeist," Emma chuckled.
"What's that?"
"A scary movie you're not allowed to watch yet," Snow said firmly.
"Aww! I like scary movies!" Regina pouted. "I like Maleficent."
"Not this one you won't," Snow assured her.
"How old do I gotta be to watch it?" her daughter demanded.
"Umm . . .ten," she named a nice round number several years away.
Regina scowled. Then she thought that maybe she could make a deal with Jimmy. Or even Henry. Because boys were easier to deal with than girls. She could hardly ever trick Alina or Grace into doing what she wanted. They were almost like Unca Rumple, Aunt Belle, Bae, Emma, or her parents. "Okay!" she huffed, pretending to be annoyed. All the while she was plotting how she could get around it and suggest Jimmy should watch it.
Then she cried, "I wanna sit next to Ilyssa, Mommy! So you get shotgun!"
She opened the back door of the Bug and climbed in. "Hey, Ilyssa! Guess what? We're goin' shopping and I'm gonna get a new suit for the pool. Cause my Ariel one's too small an' we gotta give it away to those kids who live under Privilege, wherever that is. Probably the toll bridge. Yuck! Who'd wanna live there? They oughta ask Unca Rumple if they can rent somewhere else."
In the front seat, Emma and Snow were quietly cracking up, while the radio was now playing Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats".
Regina cocked her head and told Ilyssa seriously, "You gotta mess up more than a guy's car if he cheats on ya. That's when ya ask Unca Rumple to borrow his cane an' your dad's bo staff an' you break his kneecaps so's he can't run to the scarlet woman like he wants to. Or you can tell Unca Rumple, your dad, or Henry and watch them beat him up for ya. But I'd rather do it, 'cause I'm a big girl and if a man's dumb enough to cheat on me he better 'spect what's comin'. Him and the bimbo he's cheatin' with!"
Emma was laughing so hard she nearly peed her pants. "Oh . . .oh . . .my . . God! Mom, did you tell her that?"
Snow was giggling with her hand over her mouth. "No . . .but I think she heard Alina and Grace talking one day with Ruby at the diner when they were having ice cream."
"I . . .seriously don't think Alina's gonna have that problem. The poor kid's lucky if Rumple ever allows her to date!"
"Grace too," Snow shook her head. "Jeff's already threatened to be waiting on the lawn with his hat set to send them to another dimension if they look at her funny!"
Emma rolled her eyes. "And let me guess. Dad's gonna be waitng with his sword when it's Regina's turn."
"Him, Rumple, and Henry!" Snow sighed.
"Lord only knows what Bae will be like," she groaned. "I think he might make anyone that wants to date Ilyssa run a gauntlet. Or fight him in a karate tournament!"
"Those poor boys better pray they're in a good mood," Snow sniggered.
"Yeah or the slug museum in Belle's garden is gonna have a few new inmates." She braked for a light.
Snow patted her tummy. "I'm hoping this one's a boy. I don't think your dad can handle another girl like Regina."
"Mom, I doubt if any other girl will ever be like her," Emma pointed out.
"True. There's only one Regina," her mother agreed. "But I think your dad will want a son to go fishing with or whatever."
"Yeah and commiserate with him about how women run everything," the sheriff giggled.
They parked in maternity parking when they reached the store, which was run by Tiana and Aurora, and featured clothing for children as well as adults in all styles.
"Can I push Ilyssa?" Regina asked her elder sister as she put Ilyssa into the four-in-one stroller base.
"When we get inside," Emma said. "Too dangerous out here."
"How come?"
"Because a car backing up might not see you, since you're small," she explained. Then she handed Regina the diaper bag. "But you can carry this."
Regina took the bag. "Wow! What's in here? The kitchen sink?"
"Tell Bae that, kid!" Emma said wryly. "Because the way he packed you'd have thought we were leavin' on a jetplane."
"I wanna go on a plane again!" said the little girl wistfully. "Can we, Mommy?"
"Ask your dad," Snow replied smoothly, knowing full well that with Charming's deadly fear of flying they'd not be going anywhere on a plane soon.
Once they were safely inside the store, Regina again begged Emma to push Ilyssa, and this time Emma let her do so, after shoving the diaper bag beneath the seat. Regina had on cute green pants with pink lilies on them and a shirt that said in white letters, I'm the Big Aunt!
They headed straight for the kids department, but on the way, Snow paused to examine a rack of shoes on sale.
Regina pushed the stroller a bit ahead of the two older women, to see a display of plastic pails and shovels for the beach in bright colors. "Look, Ilyssa! Beach stuff!"
Nearby a rather fussy old woman turned around and saw them. "Aww! Are you minding your little sister?" she cooed in a high falsetto voice.
Regina, who hated being treated like a baby, said, "Can't ya read, lady? She's not my sister!" She stuck out her chest pointedly, with the shirt's saying on it.
The lady blinked. "Oh! Goodness, you don't look old enough to be an auntie!" she continued, still using that fake baby voice that some people use to kids and animals.
"Yeah, well, least I didn't sit next to Moses in first grade!" Regina snorted.
"What?" she cupped her ear. "Speak up, girlie! You like to drink lemonade?"
Regina rolled her eyes. "Grown-ups!" she said to Ilyssa. "Some of them are dumber n' dirt!"
"You like my shirt?" the old woman cooed. Then she moved over to see Ilyssa. "What a cute little girl! Cootchie cootchie coo!" she went to tickle the baby under the chin.
Ilyssa was startled and began to cry.
"Hey, lady!" Regina yelled. "You made her cry! Now buzz off!"
The old woman heard something entirely different and gasped. "How rude! You oughta have your mouth washed out with soap!"
"And you oughta have your ears cleaned out!" Regina retorted. "Now quit makin' Ilyssa cry!" she quickly shoved the stroller back towards where Snow and Emma were trying on shoes.
"What's the matter?" asked Emma, upon hearing the baby wailing.
"Emma, there was an old lady who wasn't listenin' to anything I said, she thought I was Ilyssa's sister an' then I showed her my aunt shirt, an' she talked to me like I was a baby an' I'm a big girl an' then she tickled Ilyssa an' made her cry an' when I tol' her to stop she called me rude." The child crossed her arms over her chest. "I ain't rude—she needs Miracle Ear! An' her head 'xamined! Prolly has Old Timer's disease! Either that or it's like Unca Rumple always says—you can't fix stupid!"
Emma was holding her sides and laughing. Snow's belly was shaking and she whispered, "I think I need the bathroom! Quick!"
Regina heaved a sigh. "Mommy, do ya gotta go again?" she moaned. "You're like Niagra Falls!"
Snow turned red, and hurried off to find a restroom, while several people going by started laughing. "Kids!" Said one. "You never know what's gonna come out of their mouths."
"Hey, be nice!" Emma reprimanded. "Someday that's gonna be you when you have kids."
"Nuh uh!" her small sister insisted. "Cause I'm gonna teach my kid not to jump up n' down on my pee pee!"
"Good luck with that!" hooted the sheriff, then she leaned against the shoe display, hysterically laughing. Thank God for overnight Always!
Snow returned and they quickly made their way to the kids clothing area, where Regina spent fifteen minutes picking out swimsuits and trying them on.
"Which one ya like better, Emma?" she asked, coming out and modeling a Disney Princess Belle suit, complete with a sparkly little skirt and gold shimmery fabric with Belle and a small rose on the front.
"That's really cute," Emma said, wishing they had one in Ilyssa's size.
"Or this one," she modeled a turquoise Jasmine bikini.
"I think I like the Belle better," Emma said. "The other one looks a little . . . old for you."
"Yes, and your dad will make you wear a cover up, knowing him," said Snow.
"I like Belle the best!" Regina said. "Since they don't have Snow White."
"Maybe we can get a Snow White beach towel," her mother compromised, still tickled to death that the former Evil Queen now considered Snow White her idol.
"Okay. Emma, we need a suit for Ilyssa."
"Regina, I don't think they make them that small," Emma began.
"Sure they do. And if they don't can't ya just use magic n' shrink 'em? Alina can."
"Uh . . . yeah I could," the white magician said thoughtfully, and she wheeled the stroller over to where they had the infant section.
Sure enough, they did have tiny swim suits, but none in 0-3 mos. As both Emma and Snow began looking through the racks for a cute one, Ilyssa, who had been sleeping while Regina picked out her suit, woke up and began crying hungrily.
"Uh oh! Sounds like somebody's hungry!" said a young woman with an older baby in a cart a row down from them.
Emma knew that cry intimately, and felt her milk start to come down.
She turned to get the baby, when suddenly Regina yelled, loud enough so the whole store could hear, "Emma! You better milk the cow, the baby's starving!"
Emma wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I am never having any more kids!
She was sure the entire store was laughing their asses off and posting that comment on their twitter and Facebook pages.
"Regina!" hissed Snow. "Emma, I'm so sorry!"
"Be prepared, Mom. That's gonna be you soon," her elder daughter groaned, then picked up her baby to find a quiet spot to nurse.
"I'm moving into the convent!" Snow declared.
"Mommy! You can't do that! You're married!" Regina protested. "And a convent's only for nuns, they don't 'llow boys there less they get castrated!"
"Never mind!" Snow said hastily, and then she showed Regina a little swimsuit made of soft glittery white and silver material with a little feathery skirt. "Look, isn't this cute for baby Ilyssa?"
"Yeah, it makes her look like swan chick. But Mommy, when are her feathers gonna grow in?"
"Regina, honey, remember what we talked about?" her mom began.
"Yeah she's just a baby."
"That's right. And babies don't have feathers."
Except the ones that are swan chicks, Regina thought stubbornly. After all, if Daria could have pointed ears, then why couldn't Ilyssa have feathers?
Page~*~*~*~Break
After eating lunch at Granny's, Emma dropped off Snow and Regina at home, feeling rather beat and wanting to just go home and take a nap like the baby, who was now sleeping peacefully in her car seat. Emma pulled into the dojo, and shoved her keys into her purse and opened the door. She went around to the trunk to get out the bags of clothes she had purchased, finding some cute things on sale for the baby, and also for herself, though her mom had bought the little silver "swan suit" as Regina called it. She had just gotten all the bags out, when a freak gust of wind came and blew shut the door of the car.
Emma went to open it and grab her purse—only to discover the door was locked. Her purse-with the car keys inside—had been on the front seat, she had forgotten to grab it since she wasn't used to bringing one with her.
Not only was her purse locked in the car—but so was the baby.
Emma peered into the car window, barely able to see Ilyssa because of the sunshade. She seemed to be still asleep.
A frantic Emma yanked at the door handle. It wouldn't budge. And her phone and her house keys were also inside the purse. So she couldn't call for help. She ran over to the dojo, and found it was locked and dark. Obviously, Bae had gone out somewhere, because she was pounding and yelling on the door and he didn't hear her. His car was also gone.
Now Emma was beginning to panic. Her baby was locked in the car! In the summer! It was already ninety degrees out! She recalled all the safety warnings she'd ever heard in school about never leaving toddlers or dogs in parked cars during the summer, they could suffocate from extreme heat.
She wiped a drop of sweat from her brow. "Don't worry, Ilyssa, Mom's gonna get you out," she whimpered, on the verge of having a full blown anxiety attack. She couldn't believe she had left her damn purse in the car . . . and locked her baby inside! Some sheriff she was!
She glanced around, hoping to find a rock or a brick, anything she could use to break the window and open the door. But the parking lot was neat as a pin. Emma considered running screaming down the street. This could only happen to her!
Desperate, she put her hands on the door handle again and concentrated hard. Open damn you! Open up and let me get my baby!
She felt her magic surge through her.
Then there was a rather loud pop! The car shook and Emma fell backwards on her butt. When the smoke cleared, the sheriff blinked. Ilyssa was crying, and the car was open.
The car door was lying halfway across the parking lot.
Because she had blown it off.
Emma scrambled to her feet, grabbed her purse and then reached around and unlocked the back door. She picked up Ilyssa and hugged her. "It's okay! I'm here! I'm right here!" she cried. "Don't be scared, babydoll. Mommy just got a little . . .carried away."
"I'll say, dearie," Rumple commented from behind her. "Tell me you're not suffering from post partum depression."
"Rumple!" Emma turned to see her father-in-law behind her, in his familiar Armani suit and tie. "You don't understand . . .I'm not depressed, but my purse got locked in the car and . . .Ilyssa too . . .and I couldn't get her out so I . . .figured I could magic the door open and . . .umm . . ." she gestured to the car door rocking to and fro on its side.
"I felt the magical emanations from that, dearie, all the way over at my shop," the master sorcerer replied. "I thought someone had attacked you or Ilyssa."
"Err . . . I kinda . . .got upset," Emma said, chagrined.
"Remind me to duck if you ever get angry," Rumple joked. "Hell hath no fury like a mother prevented from getting her baby. Is Ilyssa all right?"
"Yeah. I think I scared her when I blew the door off," Emma said lightly. "Mommy's sorry, baby girl." She patted her daugther's back and the baby quit crying abruptly and cooed at her.
"You're forgiven," Rumple chuckled, noting the obvious bliss in his granddaughter's gaze. "She doesn't hold grudges." Then he bent and picked up the bags she had dropped. "Let me carry these in for you."
"Oh, you don't have to. I can get them as soon as I—" Emma began, going to unlock the dojo's door.
"Nonsense, dearie," Rumple ignored her protests and picked them up, just as Bae returned with Henry, they had gone out to get pizza for lunch and brought home Chinese for dinner. "Looks like your prince has come," he quipped to his daughter-in-law.
"Too late, the damsel rescued herself," Emma smirked.
"What the hell happened to your car, Em?" Bae cried in horror.
"Mom, were you like carjacked?" Henry gasped.
"Long story, kid. I'll tell you inside," she said. "C'mon, Ilyssa's tired and it's hotter than hell out here."
She led the way into the dojo and up the elevator, Rumple, Bae, and Henry following her like ducklings after their mother.
Page~*~*~*~Break
Several hours later:
"So . . .besides Regina making you have Mom's Most Embarrassing Moment in the store, how did your shopping go?" Bae asked curiously, lying in bed with his arm over his head.
"Well . . .I did get some great sales on some clothes for me and for the baby . . ." she patted her tummy and said, "Look, the magic I did today made me lose about ten pounds. If I cast some more spells like that I'll be able to fit into my old jeans in no time."
Bae caressed her shoulder. "You look great to me any way at all, wild swan."
"You're just saying that."
"No, I truly mean that," he corrected. "And I'll be saying it when we're both old and gray on the porch with canes and rocking chairs," he teased.
"That might be sooner than you think with these kids," his wife chuckled. "Now shut up and kiss me, you big stud."
"Your wish is my command," he obliged and then his mouth found hers and they were indulging in some fairly seductive kissing when a sudden insistent wailing interrupted their reverie.
Emma looked at her husband ruefully. "Thy daughter calls."
"I'll get her. You go back to sleep. Dream of me."
"Sleep? After what we—you rat!" Emma cried, and whacked his back with her pillow.
The martial arts instructor was laughing as he climbed out of bed. "Daddy's coming, babydoll!"
Emma buried her face in the pillow. "Lucky you. I wish he was coming back here," she grumbled. "Then again, maybe it's better if I do sleep . . .because doing that was what got us you in the first place, swan chick."
By the time Bae had changed his daughter and warmed a bottle for her, and brought her back to feed her, he found her mother had fallen asleep . . .with her arm on his pillow. "Aww, Em!" he sighed. "Really?"
He moved her arm so he could sit down and feed their daughter, who was guzzling milk like she hadn't been fed since the Year One. Only to have Emma's hand suddenly interpose itself on him, cupping a rather delicate part of his anatomy.
Bae's eyes went wide.
"Emma! Jesus H. Christ!"
Then he blushed at what he had just said. "I'm lucky I didn't get struck dead for that," he muttered to his daughter, and then gently rearranged his wife's hand so that she was touching his knee. "There!" At least now he didn't feel like a pervert while he was feeding his baby.
The room grew still, all except for the soft sucking noises Ilyssa made as she drank. Bae felt his eyelids start to droop, and he yawned slightly. There was a peaceful sereneness about this moment, and for a moment he almost closed his eyes to drink it in better.
But then he caught himself. Don't fall asleep with the baby, Gold! You might drop her! He gently removed the bottle, made sure he had a cloth over his shoulder, and burped her. Then he fed her the rest of the bottle.
By the time the milk was down to the last half-ounce, Ilyssa was also growing sleepy, and soon the nipple hung out of her mouth and little droplets of milk formed upon her tiny lips. "Okay, princess. I get it. You've had enough," her father whispered, managing to get her to burp after five minutes of rubbing and then finding he was too damned comfortable to get out of bed and put her back in her cradle, so he just snuggled down with her in the crook of his arm, next to Emma, who now had her hand on his head, and fell asleep.
That was how Henry found them the next morning—the wild swan, fighting swan, and swan chick—all nestled together, soaring through dreamland.
A/N: Hope you all liked the shopping trip and the end of this chapter. Was going to have the babysitting part with Jimmy, Alina, and Regina watching Ilyssa for a few hours while the parents go out, but decided to save it for the next chapter. Thanks for reading!