Everyday I wake up as the sun rises, never missing a single second of it's rays. As I awake I dawn my cute jr. Mario Brother overalls and my limited edition Mario hat with his signature on the inside seam. The smile on my face gleams as I rush out the back door of my house and quickly over the fence that surrounds my back yard. There was no school today, it's about time to put the final parts of my plan into action. All of my allowance that I've been saving for the past three months is in my pockets, I finally have enough for it. My name is T. James, I'm a young toad like any other young toad, except I have bigger plans. Once I trade away my long awaited coins for the last piece, I might just not be a toad anymore, never to be looked down on again, never to worry about late home work or my parents fighting. It was all going perfect until...
"Waaahhn, two, three..." Wario gasped in a groggy voice as he counted his motor cycle collection. Every Friday after his early breakfast, he counts them just to be sure they are all there. Having over a hundred motor cycles would make a thief think it easy to steal one, but Wario is the king of thiefs, he knows better than to just let someone take his things just because it looks easy. When he gets all the way down to the second to last one, he doesn't even have to count them out to notice it; his motor cycle that had a dent in the engine is missing. Whoever stole that one would be in a lot of trouble, both because it doesn't work right and because Wario now wants whoever touched it to be dead. "WAAAAAHHH!" he exclaimed as loud as his lungs would let him. His fist enlarges to twice its normal size as he smashes down on the spot where the motor cycle is supposed to be, the concrete crumbles and cracks under his awesome might. "WAHt am I going to do now?!" He stops his left foot into the ground a few times as he grinds his teeth together. He always makes sure to check if someone stole from him, but he never had the fore sight to think of what he would do if someone actually did steal from him. He needs a shower, a nice, warm shower to think this over.
After turning another towel into a germ infested nightmare, he dawns his logo shirt, the logo of course being for his own self. He reaches for his denim jacket to take it off the hook, but it's never on the hook, it's always on the ground. He finds it with his denim pants, perfect, he puts both of them on, all that's missing is his hat, which is always on his arm chair over his bowl of garlic. As he goes to collect it, he can't help but toss a few cloves of the perfect food into his maw and jaw away at them. He fits his hat on his head as he chews, when something strange happens; something that hasn't happened in a full three years. Someone knocked on his door and didn't use the secret knock that only Waluigi knows. Wario stopped dead in his chewing, the taste was still filling him with joy but his mind was elsewhere. Who could possibly come to his house without him knowing ahead of time? He spits the garlic out on the ground and walks up to the door, wanting to look through the peep hole, but it's covered in sludge. He draws in a deep breath before he opens the door, it's no one? He looks forward, he peeks his head out and looks left and right, no one in sight. The small toad boy is far too little to meet Wario's field of vision, and he notices this a little too late; Wario quickly lost interest and turns around, ready to forget about the whole thing. T. James doesn't go down without a fight, he fills his lungs with as much air and spores as he possibly can before he lets out his toad birth right, their ability to screech is unmatched, "HAHEHEHEHAEHEHEHAHAH!" Wario nearly jumps out of his skin as he does literally jump into the air and turn around to face the open door. "Waht is the meaning of this?!" Is all he can groan out before the little toad jumps up into the air and makes himself noticeable. Once Wario knows what he is dealing with, he tilts his head down to look at the toad as he lands. Wario's hand is quick to meet with his lips as he starts to laugh, a loud bellowing laugh that rattles the house and the ground around it. A toad? Who does this toad think he is barging into Wario's house? He's so pleased and entertained by the idea that he isn't even mad at the toad. "Wahht are you doing here little one?" Wario asks with genuine curiosity in his tone. T. James sighs a little, his throat still hurts, luckily he doesn't have terminal lung cancer. "I'm here for the star," He tells Wario as a few starts fill into his own eyes. Profit is profit, and Wario has no need for the star he owns, so he scratches the back of his head and contemplates this for a moment. "You wahhhnt my star?" He nearly belches that out, the garlic finally getting to him. T. James is appalled to say the least, but he holds it in, afraid to insult Wario in his own house.
Wario knows this toad is a kid, kids are dumb; Wario isn't exactly an ethical business man. He doesn't care where the coins come from or where they'll go after he owns them, but he wants them. Such passion for money making has given Wario a few customs, stealing, trickery, scamming, but he does hold some honor. If someone wants to buy something, and they ask to buy it, it's a whole new story. Wario and T. James step outside to the back of Wario's house where there is a card table and a few mossy chairs. They take seats opposite of each other, Wario rests his large arms on the table, The toad has to stand up on the chair to see over the table. For a moment, they just stare each other down, no words, no real excretions either, just eye contact. T. James is getting uncomfortable but keeps his composer through the whole thing, thinking it's a test. Wario fell asleep with his eyes open again. Luckily for T. James and the pacing of the story, a pile of things in Wario's house fall over and the resulting sound wakes him up. He shakes his head a little and nods, then starts to rub his chin, "So wahht are you proposing here?" He asks very casually, thinking that this kid is either too rich and will offer way too many coins, or that the kid is poor and not worth his time. T. James starts to empty his pockets onto the table, three hundred coins pile up on it along with about a hundred coins worth of mushrooms. Wario looks over the pile, not very interested. He picks up one of the coins and bites it a little, they are real sure, but only about four hundred total? And that's only if he can sell the mushrooms at full price. As he contemplates how to tell the kid no in the most evil yet sincere way possible, his pocket starts to wiggle, Wario's mushroom phone is going off, playing the theme song to Wario Ware Smooth Moves. "Hang on kid, I have to take this," He says as he fishes the phone out of his barbecue sauce encrusted pocket. The phone is a little old and damaged but evidently it still works. Wario flips it open and brings it up to his ear, it's one of his contacts, a rather sly spike top that helps Wario steal things from Bowser. They jaw at each other for a while, a few code words are traded just to be sure that the spike top is the right one and that he is talking to Wario. After they have clarified their identities, the spike top gets right to the point, "I saw Waluigi with your motor cycle, I think he's using it to pick up chicks," Wario starts to laugh again, a little louder than before, though somehow it doesn't rattle the ground this time."Wahhy didn't you tell me sooner?! That's hilarious!" Wario then continues to laugh, he just hangs up the phone after that. T. James waits patiently for Wario to calm down. The phone is soon to be closed and put back into his gross pocket. "Listen kid, keep your coins and snacks, I know wahhht you can do for me to get the star."
Wario spends the next few minutes explaining a plan to the kid, a plan to spy on Waluigi. If Wario has taught Waluigi anything, it's how to steal, so this must be an elaborate theft attempt. T. James is promised to get Wario's star if he can help figure out what Waluigi is up to. What fiendish plan does Wario have? Will T. James ever get his star? Will Blalex and Waluigi ever go on that date promised in the title of this story? All these questions and more might or might not ever be answered, or even asked by people who aren't me. However, staying tuned is the fast and easy way to see what willl happen next.