Waluigi was just ten years old. The only thing holding him back was his inability to trust anyone but his mother. His favorite activities involved playing with defective bob-ombs, they couldn't explode. With them being mechanical beings that could only really talk about war, he felt safe whispering his secrets to them. Eventually he grew quite an affinity for them, he learned to construct new bob-ombs and repair old ones. His mother took notice of this new skill, giving Waluigi proper praise. When he was thirteen he could disassemble and then reassemble a bob-omb before its personality reset back to factory defaults. He was on his way up in the world, Bowser was always looking for new engineers; the way Waluigi was progressing he could figure out how to build new weapons too. The way he and his mother saw it, life was set on a path they'd both enjoy.
It was his fifteenth birthday, as he blew out the candles, his father came through the front doors. His mother's jaw nearly dropped, though little Waluigi didn't know how to act, this was the first time he saw his father. It took both parents about ten minutes of explanation to convince Waluigi he had more than just a mother. Needless to say, he was breathless, full of questions, but his lips wouldn't let him articulate those questions. All the young Waluigi could do is smile up at his father; happy to see him since he makes mommy happy. The family spent every last moment of every single hour together for the next week, catching up with the things they had been doing while split up. Dad was on the front lines of Bowser's army, manning a Bullet Bill tank all by himself in an attempt to destroy Mario. It didn't work, but he takes pride in landing a hit on Mario, forcing him to use a reserve mushroom; for that he got a Bowser Shell Metal of Honor. Waluigi couldn't wait to show dad his progress on bob-omb manufacturing, he was as proud as a father could ever be. It's a great feeling when your son follows in your foot steps, especially when he does it out of his own passion.
Age eighteen, Waluigi enlists into Bowser's army, passing every entrance exam with flying colors and bits of bob-omb shrapnel. His parents were so happy that he could go out there and make a difference in the world, they sent him off with their best wishes. However, Waluigi didn't want to leave without saying one thing first. If he was to go into the army and be truly independent, he had to leave behind all his imperfections, that meant no more keeping secrets from his own parents. He drew in a deep breath before explaining to them that he had no urges to find a partner, no want or need to reproduce with someone, and he felt that he would never get married due to choice. His parents became speechless very fast, no idea what to say to respond to that; both of them wanted the Waluigi family name to carry on until they were both out of 1-ups, but this, why, that could put an end to their chances of that. His mother laughed a little at first, trying to take it as a joke, his father pat him on the back and reassured him that it was fine if he had cold feet, even offering to help him find a girlfriend, or boyfriend even. Waluigi assured them that he loved their support, but that he was serious. The two parents looked at each other, mother and father both wondering how to feel about this; neither of them liked hearing it, but could they really force him to change? After all these years of constant support, was now really the time to turn into strict parents? "Waluigi, honey, can you go to your room for a bit?" Asked his mother; at the time, Waluigi thought nothing of it as he walked back into his room. This gave him a chance to double check his bags, make sure he brought everything. After triple checking everything, he got a little worried, surely his mother would ask him to come back out of his room when they were done talking or whatever they were doing. He sat down on his bed, pulling out his bob-omb schematics, just to look over them one last time without worry of having to build one in a moment's notice. As he looked over the wind up crank, his father stepped into the room, a look of pure distaste on his face. Waluigi sprung out of his bed, ready to ask his father what was wrong. Before he could open his quivering lips, his father spoke, "You aren't aloud to.. be that way, you have to find a wife and have a kid," he had never heard his father talk so sternly before. "What do you mean daddy?" Waluigi retorted, though he already knew what his father would say next. Despite never being scolded before, he knew his father, and that extended to this situation, Waluigi heard it in his mind as his father said it, "You aren't aloud to be asexual son,"
They pulled Waluigi out of the army, maybe next year, maybe next war, maybe if he had to be drafted in a hurry. Waluigi locked himself in his room for a few weeks before he gave up that idea and just had to live with his parents. They pretended like nothing was wrong, like they didn't step on his dreams and his life style. Waluigi kept a stone face, acting as he normally would had he still loved his parents; though he wasn't sure if he did anymore. When he hugged his mother, or his father pat him on the back, he didn't feel the same way he used to when they did that. Before, he would hug back just as tight, or look up and feel a sense of accomplishment like never before, now he just nodded and thanked them for noticing whatever he had done to earn a hug or pat on the back. His nineteenth birthday rolled around without his notice, his parents had set up the living room for a surprise party, all he had to do was walk out of his room and they'd pop out of the shadows, flick on the lights and say `surprise!`But Waluigi didn't leave his room till an hour after they planned on him doing so. They had gotten into more comfortable positions by then, their roaring surprise now reduced to a, still cheerful, yet weak acknowledgment of his arrival. The cake frosting was getting a little stale and the drinks had gotten rather warm, the balloons were still nice and inflated though. The party was a shell of what it was supposed to be, but it brought back some of his old enthusiasm. It's been a year, that means he can go back into the army. The party then picked up as it was supposed to, no one cared that the drinks were warm or that the cake was a little harder than it was supposed to be; they were a family enjoying a birthday party together and that's all that mattered to anyone at the time. They joked and laughed and played just as they did when the parents weren't aware of how Waluigi viewed his own future. That was, until Waluigi had to use the bathroom. The way their house was set up, he'd have to walk through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. He didn't have to go that bad, so he walked slowly. On his way he noticed a few strange papers on the counter next to the fridge, they were very wordy. Perhaps they were the papers that he could sign and get back into the military? The mere thought of that brightened him up even more, he picked up the first paper on the stack and began to read it. It didn't take more than a few sentences for him to figure out what this paper really was. It was actually a contract for an arranged marriage. His parents, the parents of the bride, and the bride had already signed it, all that was left was his signature.
The paper was soon in shreds on the floor, that he was quick to stomp on till they were nothing more than a pile of jumbled up destruction. He wanted to scream but something inside him wouldn't let it out, until his father looked into the kitchen and noticed where Waluigi stood. He hadn't seen the paper on the ground, he had only seen where Waluigi was standing. He started to smile, seeing his son ready to sign the papers, "She's a real cutie son, reminded me of your mother as a young girl," to which his mother soon replied, "Oh, she looked a lot better than I did at her age." The now much happier parents continued to play and eat as they were before Waluigi stepped out of the room. Waluigi's eye twitched a little, then the other eye did. He walked into the bathroom, slammed the door behind himself, locked it, then in his rage he kicked the sink off of the wall, using the now destroyed sink and bits of the wall behind it to help barricade the door behind himself. He didn't even care that his foot was in pain from doing that or that his arms were tired from heaving that heavy sink, he needed to be alone, away from the only two people he thought he could trust. He paced, he cried, he rubbed his eyes till his hands hurt. "Maybe being married isn't so bad... Why wouldn't I enjoy it? What would I have to lose?" he tried to convince himself, but no matter how much he talked, he was only hurting his already sore throat more with each word he let out. It didn't take long for his parents to take notice of his extended leave, they knocked on the door, asked if he was okay, even pleaded to him a little, they just wanted their son back. With each word they said, Waluigi just made it clear in his own mind that if they wanted their son back, they should have another kid. They gave up after two straight hours of trying to talk him out of the bathroom. Dad refused to blow the door up and neither of them could push it open, even when they tried at the same time the door just wouldn't budge. They went to sleep, holding hope in their minds that Waluigi would leave the bathroom by morning. Waluigi stayed there all night, he didn't get any sleep, he kept crying, he kept arguing with himself, and no matter what he did, he couldn't see himself as their son anymore. He didn't fit into this family, maybe he should just leave, maybe he should just kill himself. His throat felt like broken glass, his legs were exhausted from his constant pacing, and his hands were as raw as his eyes were from all the rubbing, he also punched the walls a few times.
He wasn't thinking much, all of his thoughts quickly turned to words and came out his mouth till he was just talking on auto pilot, he had been saying his name so much that he slurred his name into any word that started with a w. "Wahiy can't they love me for who I am?... Wahiat did I do wrong?..." he continued to complain, till eventually he fell to his knees, covered his face, and let out that scream he so needed to let out, "WAAAAHHIIIIIIY?!" The scream woke his parents up and caused him to pass out. Dad got out of bed with a bob-omb in hand, ready to put an end to this, he lit the fuse and threw it at the bathroom door, the impact itself blew the bob-omb up near instantly, letting both parents see Waluigi, passed out on the floor, sleeves and bust of his shirt moist with his tears, they picked him up and carried him to his room, setting him down in his bed, he needs rest. They take turns sitting at his bed side, rubbing his head, whispering in his ear, till four hours pass and they give up, thinking he'll wake up when he's ready to wake up, then they can talk about things. When Waluigi wakes up, he has other plans; he grabs his still packed military bags and unloads them, re-stuffs them with all his clothes and coins, then just jumps out his window. He closes the window behind himself and sets off, ready to tackle the world the way he wants to. Without fear of what his parents think, "I'll carve out a name for myself, just wahit and see!" he proclaimed at the sky when he was a fair distance from home. It was a little cold outside, his military cut wasn't helping keep his head warm. He reached in his bag and pulled out a beanie, it had his signature upside down L stitched to the front. As he dawned it, he made a promise to himself that he would never go back. He'd let his hair grow out a little, his mustache as well. He sold all his old clothes and instead bought purple shirts and really dark purple overalls. The only thing he kept was his signature upside down L and his beanie, though he bought a few hats and hand sewed upside down L patches onto them. "From now on, I'm Waluigi, mountains will tremble at my voice and cities wahill run at the notion of my name!" he said to himself in his mind, though it didn't sound right, oh well, he had time to figure out what he really wanted to be. Six years later, Waluigi is in a budding relationship with Blalex, has a best friend, Wario, and a mostly stable life. How does Wario know about the beanie? How would Blalex feel about knowing this story? Why do Waluigi's parents care so much? Stay tuned.