Note: Yippee! Angsty Pippin! I originally intended to write this chapter from Frodo's perspective, but Pippin turned out to be more fun. We'll have a look at Frodo's diary later, maybe. As always, thanks for reviewing!
Chapter 4: In Hiding
April 27, 3019
Dear Diary,
It's been more than a month since we've been in hiding. I ought to say more properly running and hiding. No sooner do we find a safe house then a bunch of orcs come along and we have to dodge again. My feet are killing me.
Right now we're staying with two cave trolls who were good-hearted enough (and dumb enough) to take us in. It's pretty close quarters and as usual I have to share a sleeping bag with Merry. I hate being small. Even worse, the cave trolls snore so loudly that it shakes the whole cave. I have to admit this is partly a good thing: previously we had problems trying to stay hidden because nearly every one of us snores really loudly with the exception of myself, Legolas, and Frodo (Merry says I snore, but I don't). Legolas talks in his sleep: a constant babble that is actually more annoying than snoring. Frodo makes no noise but sleep walks with a freaky look on his face. He's still trying to find his precious.
Merry and I held a snoring contest the other night to see which of the fellowship snores the loudest, and I put most of my money on Gandalf. Merry said Gimli. The contest wasn't much of a success because Merry fell asleep in the middle of it and snored the loudest of all.
It's so boring sitting in a cave all day with nothing to do that Merry and I have taken to holding all kinds of contests. Yesterday we had a contest to see who would argue the most times in one day. The teams were: Aragorn vs. Gandalf, Legolas vs. Gimli, and Sam vs. Frodo. At first Sam and Frodo were winning and they were the ones I had bet on, but then Merry started cheating and got Aragorn and Gandalf fighting over the palantir. That was completely unfair, so I took Frodo's mithril shirt and hid it in Sam's sleeping bag. Frodo's really touchy about his stuff.
Then Merry started fighting with me and Legolas and Gimli started getting on each other's backs about whether Fangorn Forest or the caverns of Helms Deep are cooler and then Merry and I realised that we had forgotten to count the two cave trolls in the contest and they were hitting each other over the head about something one of them had accidentally put in the stewpot.
Gandalf somehow found out who was starting all the fights (I have my doubts about the ethical validity of that palantir) and he threatened to tie me and Merry up in a sleeping bag if we didn't behave. We thought the fun was over when who do you think showed up? Elrohir and Elladan, the sons of Elrond. They had beat up an orc and were wanted by the Mordor secret police (i.e. Nazgul), so they had come to hide out with us. Merry and I made bets on who could get them fighting the fastest and I so totally won.
The trouble with doing anything even slightly questionable is that Gandalf always blames me. Just because I'm the youngest. It's not fair: Merry should get blamed because he's older. Anyway, it isn't always my idea.
So now we have twin elves staying with us in addition to the immature cave trolls, depressed hobbits, maladjusted human, autistic elf prince, groupy dwarf, and over-reacting wizard. The prolonged confinement is starting to affect our sanity adversely. Not only that, but the food is running out (not to mention the pipeweed has been gone for three days and all of us, excepting Legolas, are suffering excruciating withdrawal symptoms). I have no idea how much longer we can continue like this.