A/N: Hey, thanks for reviews! Lots of votes on the creepiest elf so far. There's a few more chapters to go before the contest so there's more time to vote if you have any more ideas!
Chapter 14: Missing Member
"Stop!" shouted Gandalf. "We need to count ourselves and make sure we're all here."
He started counting rapidly, arrived at a number, and then realised that he didn't know how many of them there were supposed to be in the first place. While he was realising this he forgot the number he had arrived at.
"Pippin!" he shouted. "We're missing Pippin!"
"Here I am," said Pippin, popping up. "Did you miss me?"
"Fool of a Took!"
"Ouch!"
"All right then I think we've got everyone," said Gandalf in relief. "Those nazgul didn't get any of us."
"No," said Legolas, appearing just then with an angsty expression of grief on his face. "Gimli is missing."
"What?"
Everyone hastily looked around for their favourite dwarf but it was too true: Gimli was indeed no longer in their company.
"What are we going to do, then?" Pippin asked and then hid behind Merry.
"We'll have to go on without him," Gandalf decided. "We must make the rendezvous with Aragorn in two days."
"We can't just leave him behind," said Sam.
"We have to."
"We're running out of time," supplied Merry helpfully.
"You guys go ahead," said Legolas. "I'll go rescue Gimli by myself."
"Legolas," said Gandalf. He grabbed Legolas's arm and pulled him aside. Legolas's eyes widened in horror as Gandalf whispered something in his ear.
"What did he say?" asked Merry.
"He said that Gimli probably deserted us so that he could go on ahead and save Lady Galadriel," said Legolas.
"Idiot!" shouted Gandalf. "I didn't want the whole company to know! Why do you think I was whispering?"
"Gimli wouldn't do that," said Elladan.
"No, he wouldn't," agreed Legolas.
Gandalf shook his head. "You know how impatient he was getting. Besides, he never really believed we were serious about saving her. Most likely he allowed the nazgul to capture him in order to get to Barad-dur faster."
"I can't believe he'd do that!" said Legolas, who obviously did.
"He was mad at you, remember?" said Sam. "He probably left because you never said you were sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"Cheating."
"I didn't cheat!"
"Okay, everybody," interrupted Gandalf impatiently. "We need to start moving. Erestor and Lindir, are you coming?"
Erestor and Lindir were standing a short distance from the company, examining a sign pinned to a nearby boulder.
"Do you think we'd stand a chance?" asked Lindir in a low voice.
"If it were 'handsomest elf' definitely. But I'm not sure we'd qualify as 'creepy'."
"You would, I'm sure."
"Well...so would you."
"It can't hurt to try..."
"But do you think it's quite - dignified?" asked Erestor, straightening his robes uncertainly.
"Are you two going to stand there all day?" shouted Gandalf.
"Hey, what are you looking at?" asked Elladan. " 'Creepiest Elf Contest?' What's that?"
"We're going to enter," said Lindir.
"Hey, let's do it too, bro!"
"Not so fast!" said Gandalf. "I thought we were all going to Barad-dur to remove the Dark Lord from power."
"Yeah, we'll have plenty of time after the contest," said Elrohir.
"You won't get far without Gimli, anyway," said Legolas.
"Don't tell me you're going to enter it, too?" cried Gandalf as he saw all his best elves deserting him.
"Do you think I look creepy enough?" asked Legolas insecurely.
"Yes."
"No."
"I thought you wanted to rescue Gimli," Gandalf said.
"I thought you said your dad told you to come home," said Sam.
Legolas looked even more insecure.
"Come on, I'm sure they'll be fine without you," said Elrohir.
"Legolas, if you leave I'll hit you with my staff," Gandalf warned.
"And turn him into something onnatural?"
"Thank you, Sam, yes. And turn you into something onnatural."
"And call you fool of a -"
"Silence, fool - I mean - Pippin!"
"Okay," said Legolas, hanging his head and slinking to the back of the line.
"Awww," said Elladan. "Oh well. We'll miss you. Bye!"
So saying the four elves set off slightly northwards towards the Black Gate. The rest of the now diminished fellowship pursued its original course towards the crossroads in Ithilien.
"If I hear any complaining back there - " warned Gandalf.
Nobody wisely said anything.
Two days later...
"Well, we're here," said Legolas obviously. "And no sign of Aragorn."
Suddenly they heard an orcish shriek coming from a distance through the trees.
"What's that?" cried Merry while the rest of the hobbits cowered in fear.
"Pippin!" said Gandalf. "Are you playing Temple Run again?"
"No!" said Pippin as another, much nearer, scream filled the air.
A voice on a loud speaker suddenly blasted into their ears.
"WHO'S IT GONNA BE? WHO'S GONNA BE THE SOLE SOOHVIVAH?"
Okay, I will try to update every week after this. But we'll have to see...
Coming up next: Where did the nazgul take Gimli?