The 100 fanfiction
Clarke Griffin
I was in the woods, in the bomb shelter - I had first seenbecause of Finn- by myself for just over a week. Looking at the candle in front of me, the fire moves witheach breath I take, making shadows on the dark empty walls.
I am a monster for what I did. I deserve to be on my own, to be in my own misery.
Darkness consumes me, like the horror does with my dark hearted, sad, empty hollow soul. A salt tear falls down my left cheek. Making a salty trail from my eye all the way down my chin. I just let that one tear fall, one can get free, the other onces, I cannot let those flow freely or I will crash down even more.
I hear a knock on the iron door of the bomb shelter. Knock – knock. I jump on my feet and take the gun intomy hand that has only one bullet left inside it's bullet holder. I walk to the door, cautious not to step on something. The door opens and I want to shoot, but I cannot do that.
"Bellamy…" she says , a whisper. She has not seen him over a week, since she has been living in here. "Hey Clarke. You can put the gun down." He looks over at the gun in her hand that is still pointed at him. She lowers her hand and walks over to sit by the now not burning candle again.
"How did you found me?"She asks, while she put's the candle on again with the use of a lucifer.
"I just walked around the forest, looking for food at first, but I did go to the dropship just to see if you was there, but you weren't." there is a second silence before he continues. "And then I thought you may be down here and you are."
She stands up and goes to the back of the bomb shelter and she is going to a closet on the other side of the room. She opens the closet and takes pieces of paper in her hand before walking back to the candle whereBellamy is still sitting.
She sees him looking at the papers in her hands, she reaches the papers towards him. "Can you give this to my mother for me? Idrewme so she can remember me." He takes the papers, nodshis head so she knows he will give it to Abby. The gorgeous, detailed, drawings in his hands and looks at it. Mesmerized by how good she is, how good the drawings are. She feels horrible, misses her mother even after what she did to her father, she misses her friends and her people, her home that is no longer is her home.
He folds the pieces of paper and puts it in his jacket while he talks to her. "Everybody calls you a legend, for saving every…" she cut him off, looking straight at him. "I'm not a legend."
"You are Clarke, everyone says it, even the grounders that we encountered in the days you were not around."
"I tried to be the good guy, to not kill innocent people and that's exactly what I did. I'm not a legend!" She is angry to hearpeople calling her a legend of saving her people while killing hundreds of others, innocent adults that helped them inside the mountain, the innocent little children, people that did horrible things and would never stop, but it is still a horrible thing and to be called a legend for killing hundreds of people is not a good thing and that you're named that is just not understandable.
"They would have never stopped and we both did it, we both pulledthe lever to the other side, to let the radiation in." "Yes but I was the leader and I killed them, I killed Finn for nothing, I made this alliance with the grounders for nothing, I got betrayed and because of that I had to kill those people because the alliance was broken, because of Lexa. If the alliance would have stayed then the innocent would have lived." She stood now, passing down the room, making huge shadows on the walls.
"Yes they would have, but then they would go on, they would not have stopped." He looks at her, the tears present in her eyes, almost ready to fall, she's shaking because of all the different emotions that rage through her body right now like hot fire and cold ice, fighting against each other to reach the surface of her skin.
"You will be okay Clarke. Sit down please." That's what she did. "Sorry about that." "It's okay, you can let it out now… but do you want to come back with me to Camp Jaha. We all miss you." They both look at each other for a while. "I'm not ready to. If I go back now…" she stops for a moment to look at candle once again. "It will make me think of what I did to save them, it's a burden and I have to things for myself for once."
They talked for a while about everything, about howMurphy and Jaha and a few others are gone not knowing where they are, how everyone is doing and everything else that is worth to be talked about, before Bellamy did go back to camp. Clarke looked at him while he walked off and before he disappeared between the trees he turns around. "You can get through this, take the time you need. May we meet again."
We will meet again. Not now,but eventually we will.
—
Three days have passed and she has thought about everything, like she does everyday, to figure out how to deal with everything that has happened since they are on the ground, the war with the grounders and then after that what happened with the mountain men and how she has dealtwith it all.
She drewa lot in the past three days. Shedrewbirds, the crazy gorilla and even the ark in the universe, the earth from the universe and a lot of things, she even drewall of the different emotions she feels inside down on the pieces of papers she still has down here.
She search for food in the forest, knowing that a few grounders know she is there, and she knows they are in the top of the trees looking down at her. Probably Lexa gave that order, but she does not care about it, she got betrayed by Lexa and she is still hurt and pissed about that she did it, that she broke the alliance between them.
It is very peaceful, this time on my own. I finally could think about me once I left. It was a good decision to find peace for now, to get a peace of mind Clarke, you did well Clarke… thanks. I am hungry where is this creature?
does she say to herself in her head while tracking footprints of what seems like footprints that are most likely coming from a deer.
She walks further and hears a crack, like a crack of a tree branch getting split in half. She turns around fast, putting her gun in front of her.
"Hello Clarke of the sky people." Indra and two other grounder warriors stood before her. "What do you want?" is all she says, anger present in her voice. "The Commander likes to speak with you."
Screw her.
"Tell the commander I'm not interested." Her facial expression looking straight at the three of them, not even blinking.
"She insist on talking to you."
"Yeah and I insist on leaving me alone after the treason that happened around a week ago. That was very well played, you can tell her that." She turns around "Now I go catch my dinner again." She walks off and hears Indra snort out of annoyance. She turns around to look at the three grounders once more. "It is time to move on Indra. Goodbye."
Indra speaks in trigedasleng with the two other grounders as she walks off with them. That felt good to be able to make it clear that she is done. Betrayal has consequences and she always makes people see the consequences of betraying her.
Good, let her burn on the blisters for what she has done.
"What was that about?"
She jumped out of shock
"Jesus Bellamy, how long have you already been following me?"
"Quite a while."
She smiles at him. "Was it a relief to say that to Indra, like a messages duff, to deliver your message to Lexa."
She laughed. "It was. It felt kinda good."
She smiled just like he is smiling. "I missed seeing you laugh and smile." She smiles even brighter "I feel better now. Time on my own was a good thing to do." He comes over to her and hugs her. "But it will take more time to heal completely, but I'm getting there."
"There is nothing better you can do, Clarke."
They look at each other for a moment, into each others eyes. "Time to go home than?"
"It's time, but I need you." Is all she says now, comfortable in his strong arms. "I will be there for you, we need each other."
"Indeed. We need each other."
She gave him a kiss on his cheek, took his hand in hers and they started walking, walking through the green forest, towards home.
Taking small slow steps is better than taking non. I have learned that. I'm not there yet, were I want to be, but at least I can go home and try my best, but I don't have to do it on my own. I was never alone.
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