My stomach was in knots the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, and it took me a few seconds to remember why. Zuko had been to my shack last night. The minute I thought about the things we'd said to each other, how he'd shut down when he talked about his uncle and his look as he left, the flood of conflicting emotions made me dizzy. With a practiced detachedness, I shoved those thoughts away. Instead, I focused on menial things like what I would eat for breakfast; who I would approach for firebending today; which route I would take through the city. I wouldn't have to think about Nameless until that night. He might not even show up, which would probably be better. Hopefully, I had just been a passing interest for him and he'd moved on. I prepared for the day like I would any other, ignoring the dread that had settled in my stomach.

Of course, the more I dreaded nightfall, the faster the sun seemed to move through the sky. I lay on my pallet, staring up at my cracked roof, and listened to my heart pound. I knew there would be no sleeping until he arrived, so I didn't even try. To pass the time, I thought about the Avatar. I wondered what he had been like. While moving from village to village, I'd heard that he was still a child when he was travelling the world, learning the elements. He'd saved people, inspired hope, helped the armies where he could, and never stopped striving to master the elements. Until Zuko. Everything in me was screaming for me to hate him, to make him pay for what he'd done. But a very primal part of me was anticipating seeing him again, having him close to me. It was like a war was happening inside me. The one side was staunchly Earth Kingdom and was honorably calling for justice and a shunning of this villain. The other side was completely Fire Nation and didn't notice more than the fact that he was a powerful, attractive, very male firebender.

When I heard the cloth flutter over my door, I didn't even bother to look up until I heard him next to me. With a sigh, I sat up and leaned my back against the wall, tilting my head up. The moon was brighter than it had been the night before, so I could see him clearly, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. He looked extremely uncomfortable standing there in his red and gold cloak, his hood pulled low over his face, but I couldn't help but notice how the material draped over his muscular form and how his eyes almost glowed in the dim light. I clamped down hard on those feelings. Once he saw me sit up, he pushed the hood back and I was careful to focus on anything other than those gold eyes. I looked over his clothes and snorted.

"What's funny?" he grumbled.

I gestured to his cloak with a sneer. "You. Sneaking around the stacks in silk. Anyone who saw you would know right away you were a noble. We can't afford anything like that."

His eyes narrowed. "It was all I had."

"Oh, forgive me," I said blandly.

He heaved an angry sigh and reached into his bag. I stiffened and slid my hand under my pallet to grip my knife's handle. He saw the movement and his mouth twisted into a wry smirk as he pulled an irregular shape from the bag. "Here," he said, holding it out to me. "I brought you this."

I took it from him and ran my hands over the material. I'd never been able to afford any kind of fur, but I'd dressed a few animals for food and I knew the feeling. I had no idea what animal it was from, but the skin was thick and the hair was so fine it felt like I was running my hands over calm water.

"It's for sleeping on. I noticed you didn't have anything but the straw to—"

"Where did you get it?" I asked, my eyes on the fur in my hands.

"I… the palace. We all have them."

I got to my feet and thrust the fur back to him. "I don't want it."

"What? Why not?" I let the fur fall and he had no choice but to catch it.

I glared at him as I said, "Because I can manage without it. I don't need a fur stolen from some guest room in the Fire Nation palace when I've slept on straw my whole life."

His jaw clenched and he looked like he wanted to snap back at me, but he

took a deep breath instead. I could tell he was trying to say something, but I didn't want to hear it.

"Please, Zuko, just leave. I don't know what you think, but I'm not in the Fire Nation to see you, and I don't want to. I meant everything I said last night."

I stepped back to let him leave, but he followed me, moving close and looking down through his dark hair at my wide eyes. That traitorous part of me that was all Fire Nation forced my eyes across his face and my stare landed on his mouth. I could see the white teeth behind his pale lips as he tried to gather his words. When my eyes caught his, I could see he'd noticed my preoccupation. Zuko's expression changed from anger to something very unexpected, but not wholly unfamiliar to me. I'd seen that look on his face once before, when he was on my healing table. Right before he kissed me. My eyes widened with fear and lust as his face came nearer to mine. I saw his chest rise out of the corner of my eye as he whispered, "Rei, I really do care about… I'm not the monster you think I am."

His words brought every bit of Earth Kingdom in me to life and I embraced my anger like a lifeline. I straightened my shoulders and forced him to move away. He looked surprised and it only served to drive my anger higher. "You know, Zuko, when I heard what you'd done to the Avatar and the Earth Kingdom, the first thing that went through my mind was how much I wished I'd let you die. I know you aren't cruel; you never meant to destroy countless lives, you just wanted to save your honor, do your duty to your nation. If I hate you, it's because I was stupid enough to be fooled into thinking you were capable of better."

His face filled with quiet rage and I glanced down to see his hands clenched into shaking fists at his sides, but I didn't back down. I meant what I'd said and I wouldn't apologize for telling him what I thought. Sparks rising from his fists drew my attention and I looked at him with wide eyes, ready to bolt. Was he really going to attack me just for saying those things? My own hands started to rise in temperature and I welcomed it. I hoped I could land a few burns on him before he overpowered me, at least. After a few tense moments, his hands relaxed and he took a step back. I let out a slow breath, but my hands didn't cool down. Soon, the warmth had turned to thick smoke and I closed my eyes to concentrate on quelling the fire.

"I won't hurt you," I heard Zuko say, irritation coloring his voice.

I opened my eyes and tried to focus on his calm face, but my hands were steadily getting hotter. "I know," I said, closing my eyes again. "It takes a while to…" Finally, I gave up and just buried my hands in the earthy floor of my shack. I kept my eyes trained on my hands in the dirt because I knew that my face was burning with embarrassment. Both the firebender and the healer in me hated for Zuko to see me so weak.

"Can you… Do you have any control over it at all?" Zuko's voice above me was incredulous. My silence was answer enough. "Are you still upset?"

I shrugged. "I don't always have to be upset for it to happen. It just comes."

His knees bent and suddenly a pale arm was in my field of vision as he reached for my hand. "Let me see," he said. I let him pull my hand out of the dirt, and there was still smoke rising from it. I took a deep breath and raised my head to meet his confused stare. "You shouldn't need anyone to tell you how to keep your firebending inside once you've calmed down. Every firebender I've met has just known how."

I yanked my hand back. "Well, sorry if it doesn't come naturally to have fire shooting out of my hands."

His eyes flashed as he snapped, "I'm not trying to insult you, I'm trying to figure out why you're having trouble with it." I clenched my jaw to keep from biting out a retort. "You said it doesn't come naturally, but it should. Firebending isn't like the other forms of bending, because it comes from inside you. It's as much a part of you as blood or oxygen." His thoughtful gaze turned hard. "I think it's because you denied it for so long. You think of your bending as something separate, so you can't really control it."

I forgot my anger as I thought over his words. "So what do I do?"

"You have to accept that you're a firebender. Until you see the fire as an extension of everything you are, all your anger, all your hate, it'll control you instead of you controlling it." He glanced down at my hands and smirked. I followed his gaze and saw that the smoke had stopped rising and my hands were resting benevolently between my knees. "See? The minute you stop thinking about the fire, it goes back to being a part of you."

I felt the corner of my mouth lift in a smile as I stared at my hands. That was the first time the smoke had stopped without me actively trying to quell it. Before I could think about it, I glanced at Zuko and said, "Thank you."

He looked surprised, but nodded. I followed him as he rose to his feet. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Kenshin's face swam in front of my eyes and my hand went unconsciously to my chest. "I'm here so that I can make sure no one ever threatens me or my family again."

"Haven't you been training? Who's your master?"

I shifted my feet as I said, "No one, yet. I've tried every master I've heard of, but no one will take me. My status here isn't exactly legal."

His gaze went to the floor as he nodded. "Don't tell me any more," he said. The Fire Nation didn't have immigration like the other nations did. You're only a citizen if you're born one. He didn't want to know how I'd gotten a place in the stacks because the only ways for a non-citizen to live here were illegal and he didn't want to be implicated. I understood, but it didn't stop the surge of bitterness. "How long have you been here?"

"Over a month."

"Let me train you," he blurted. My eyes snapped up to his face in surprise, but I couldn't have looked more surprised than he did at his outburst. "I mean you-you did… help me in the Earth Kingdom," he added.

My mouth opened but no words came out. My mind worked furiously as I considered his offer. Learning firebending from the same man who killed the Avatar and destroyed the Earth Kingdom? My breathing quickened and I clenched my jaw against the immediate refusal. It turned my stomach to think about it… but I'd already gone weeks trying to find a master. No one would train me and meanwhile, Kenshin was in my village, stealing money and intimidating my people. Still, I didn't want to be around Zuko anymore. My feelings for him were all snarled up with loss and attraction and anger and hate… but I needed a master.

"Saved your life, you mean," I said absentmindedly. At this point he looked like he was sure I would say no. In fact, I would guess that he was hoping I would say no. My eyes narrowed as I studied him. What was he doing here? Why did he even care? I could only think of two reasons. One, he was just interested because I was a firebender from the Earth Kingdom. Two… well, the more common reason a man visits a woman's home in the middle of the night. The thought made my pulse quicken and the adrenaline from my firebending episode made me bold. What did I care anyway? So I was attracted to him, he was an attractive man. That didn't mean anything more than a physical desire and I could control that. I could keep it separate, I always have. I took a step closer to him so that the material over my chest brushed the front of his shirt and tilted my face up towards his. His eyes went wide and dark. I could see the muscles working in his jaw and his breaths came heavy through his nose. He didn't move away. "Why are you really here?" I whispered. I could see him struggling to keep his walls up and I smirked to myself. It looked like I had my reason.

That's when I decided something. I needed a teacher, I knew that already. The only reason I didn't want that teacher to be Zuko was because I didn't want him to think I was all right with what he did. That part of me that decided Kenshin deserved to die for what he'd done, that let the thief die, that didn't give up my bunk on the ship, and that was attracted to the prince, that part of me was the firebender. And the firebender in me wanted Zuko to pay for everything he'd put the healer through. When I stood in front of Zuko and saw that he wanted me, acknowledged that I desired him, that was the firebender in me taking control and it felt good. I could have everything. I could learn firebending, I could take control back from Kenshin, and I could punish Zuko at the same time. After all, he told me to accept who I was.

I pretended to turn my face demurely away. "I guess I don't have a choice," I said. I made sure my sigh shook as I released it.

His uneven breaths echoed in my ear and I tried to keep the answering shivers in perspective. It was just physical, I could ignore it. "I know a place," his voice was rougher than usual. Ignore it! "It's on the south side of the mountains. The path is just past the docks. Keep to the shoreline and you can't miss it." He glanced out my window at the moon peeking over the stacks. "I can't stay," he said. "Tomorrow?" I nodded, my head still turned away. I felt the slightest pressure against my hair. I was unprepared for it and his sweet, hesitant kiss went straight through the firebender and touched the healer. He was out the door before I could react and it took me longer than I thought was possible to reach my pallet. I clenched my jaw and told myself it was fine. He'd just caught me off guard; I could do this. I just had to be careful. I found the fire lying dormant in my chest and wrapped the powerful feeling around me, drowning out the confusion and wanting.

""""

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, surprised that I'd slept in so long. The heat that day was oppressive, the hottest I'd felt in the Fire Nation so far. I dressed in a long, flowing red skirt and matching red top. It was the coolest outfit I had, mostly because the top was little more than a draped napkin across my front, leaving my entire back and a good bit of my chest bare, secured only with straps that crisscrossed my waist. I'd seen citizens around the city walking around in conservative, almost heavy clothes, but I never got that used to the heat. Dressed and ready, I pulled the cloth away from the door and secured it back to let the breeze air out my shack a bit.

I smiled when I thought of the night before. A surge of the power I felt when Zuko was so close to me was coursing through me, making me feel like I could do anything. I was so close to getting everything I wanted. I'd make Kenshin pay for all he'd done, and in the process, punish the prince who'd destroyed my kingdom. I straightened my shoulders and walked toward the door before I could lose any of my newfound confidence, my knife stuck under the folds of my skirt. I took a second to tuck the fur Zuko had given me under my straw pallet before I strode out of the shack.

The air was so thick with heat that I was breathing hard by the time I reached the edge of the stacks. I stopped to fill my water skin at the well before I made my way toward the docks. I got a few looks as I walked among the soldiers and warships, but refugees would often go down to the sea to fish or wash clothes, so I wasn't too rare a sight. Once I reached the shoreline, I followed the docks south until the raised platform stopped and I had to climb down to walk along the rocky beach. My confidence started to waver as the distance between sea and rock grew steadily narrower, eventually becoming a strip of sand no wider than six inches. The ocean lapped around my ankles and I fervently hoped that the tide would stay out until I reached wherever it was I was going. I'd been out of sight of the docks for about twenty minutes when something reached out from the seemingly solid wall of rock and grabbed my arm above the shoulder.

I screamed and quickly turned to rip my arm out of its grasp when my feet twisted in the sand and I fell hard in the water, the waves pulsing softly around my shoulders. I heard a raspy chuckle from the rocks and glared up at Zuko, who was leaning out from a crack in the rocks that I must have walked right past, but never saw.

"Oh yeah," I said, "it's really funny to scare someone to death."

He squeezed out of the wall and stepped into the water, a grin still on his face. I stopped my spluttering long enough to notice that this was the first time I'd seen him actually smile. It was enough to make me forget that I was sitting in the ocean. It was enough to make me forget that I hated him.

"It is, actually," he said. He held a hand out to me and I had to blink a few times to clear my head before I took it and let him help me to my feet. When I finally stood in front of him, his smile faded and his eyes widened in horror. I followed his gaze down to my chest. I tugged my hand out of his and splayed it over my scar. I looked down at the water swirling around our legs and clenched my jaw before I met his eyes. I hadn't even thought about my scar when I chose these clothes. I was so used to people staring at this point that it just never occurred to me that Zuko would see it.

"Rei…" he breathed, still staring at the scar.

I gave him a hard smile. "Now you know why it's important I embrace that more fiery side."

"How-?"

"So you wanted me to meet you here in the middle of nowhere, here I am," I cut him off before he could finish.

He finally took a deep breath and schooled his expression into his usually serious mask. "Follow me." He turned and walked back toward the rocks. I squeezed in after him and walked sideways through the rocks, the water occasionally creeping in around my feet. He took a sharp left turn and I was immediately struck blind by the pitch darkness of the cave, but I now had enough room to walk straight. I didn't hear him stop over the waves so I gasped when I walked right into his broad back. He reached back to steady me, but he never dropped his hand from my arm. My breathing spiked as his rough skin played over mine.

"Close your eyes," he said. His soft voice in the complete dark sent a shiver through me and I did what he asked. I heard the fire flare to life in the silence and saw the light from behind my eyelids. His hand finally released my arm and I felt like I could breathe again. I opened my eyes to see that we were standing in a huge cave, the glistening walls curving up and around us. The bottom of the cave was damp, but there wasn't any standing water there. And it was cooler than it was outside, something I was immensely grateful for.

"Are we training in here?" I asked.

"No, you'd need full sun exposure for training."

I raised my eyebrows. "Then… why are we here?"

His demeanor immediately changed to uncomfortable. "I was thinking. You uh… you remember when I said that I'd been to see Uncle?"

Surprised, but still very confused, I said, "Yeah?"

His words came out in a rush. "I've visited him a couple times, but he won't talk to me. I know he's… disappointed, but I just want to know that he's okay. Other people have gone mad in those cells. I don't know if I can go anymore, Azula's already noticed."

"Azula?"

"My sister."

"I know who she is, but why would she care if you visited your uncle?"

His eyes narrowed and he looked through me as he said, "She thinks it questions my loyalty to the Fire Nation. Azula is… well, I don't want her looking too closely. Not that I have anything to hide."

My eyes narrowed as a suspicion started to form. "Why are you telling me?"

"Well, I've been thinking… You could visit him."

My jaw dropped open. I thought he'd been asking me to provide an alibi or something even remotely possible. "What makes you think I could even get in?"

Zuko turned and jogged to the wall of the cave, making the shadows dance on the walls. He came back with a bundle of papers and clothes. "Your name is Azue Maki. You're a criminal interrogation expert from Ba Sing Se and you're there to try to find out if General Iroh was working with the Avatar in secret."

I shook my head as I tried to puzzle through this whole situation. "Why are you even coming to me for this? Don't you have friends, or family here that would help you?"

He didn't answer for a long time, but when he did, his voice was flat. "Not really. None that don't think he completely deserved what he got."

I squelched the spike of sympathy. "It may have escaped your notice, but I'm not exactly a legal citizen. I would be taking a huge risk by walking into a Fire Nation prison and visiting a war criminal, especially if the princess is already suspicious."

"I know that, but I need you to do this. I have to know he's okay, the reports I'm getting from the guards… please." I could tell it was killing him to beg like this, and even though the firebender in me thought he deserved it, Iroh didn't.

"If it were anyone but Iroh, I'd tell you to go to hell."

He didn't smile, but his face relaxed and his eyes closed. "Thank you," he whispered.

He handed me a set of identification papers with my likeness drawn on the front page. I looked over the other two papers, but it was mostly locations and lists of people I'd successfully "interrogated". He told me to do my best to memorize everything there, and I repeated all the names and locations over and over again so that I could remember them all when he quizzed me.

Once he was satisfied that I would remember everything, he handed me some clothes and told me they were for an officer. I had him turn his back so I could change. It was a bit of a chore without the direct light from the fire, but I thought I did okay. The pants were easy enough, but there were three shirts, plus a breastplate and shoulder flaps of some kind. It was all very unnecessary and very warm.

"Don't you people ever get hot?" I griped. Zuko turned around and snorted when he saw me. "What?" I looked down, but couldn't see anything wrong.

"Hold this." Before I knew what was happening, Zuko was thrusting his handful of fire at me. I held up my hands to keep it from hitting my chest, but that left it to hit my hands. Zuko rested his hand in both of mine and then slid it back, leaving the fire to trail into my palms. My breathing sped up as I cupped the little ball of flame in my palms. I'd never intentionally held fire before, but it felt as exhilarating as it was scary. I watched the little flame pulse in time with my breath and felt the rush of heat up my arms that was keeping it alive. A small, fascinated smile lit my face.

I jumped when I felt Zuko's hands on my side, undoing the laces I'd worked so hard on. The flame flickered and dimmed. "No," he said, "concentrate on the flame… Think about why you want to firebend." Kenshin's face swam in front of my eyes and the flame grew again, almost as large as Zuko's had been. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye and his hands resumed work on the laces. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination, but I thought that his fingers were moving much slower than was absolutely necessary. I recalled the mantra I'd developed the night before. It's just physical, you can ignore it.

It was a tense few minutes for me, but eventually he straightened the shoulder plates and stepped back to look at his work. His brows drew together as he looked at me. "Oh, yeah," he said before he moved to stand behind me. I felt that battle within me flare up again as his fingers slowly moved through my hair, gathering it at the temples and bringing it up into that knot on the top of my head. I expected him to step away once I felt the ribbon secure the knot, but he didn't. I felt his warm body close against my back, even through the uniform. I froze when his fingers trailed from the knot, down behind my ears, and finally to my neck. I felt his light touch on the sensitive skin there as he brushed my hair to one side, leaving the skin of my neck bare. It's just physical, stay in control. When his hot breath replaced his fingers, all thoughts except his mouth so near my skin fled my mind. The fire in my hands flickered and went out, but I didn't care. I couldn't hear anything but my breaths and his mixed together and bouncing off the walls.

"Tell me to stop," his whispered words tickled against my neck. He didn't sound playful, he was genuinely asking me. He sounded like he was as caught up in lust and heat as I was and was begging me to stop it, because he couldn't. Tell him, tell him to stop. It's just physical, you can control it. He was relying on me and I would let him down. My thoughts scrambled and faded to nothing but impulse. I gasped and tilted my head to give him better access as my hand went back to tangle in his hair. With a groan that was part lust and part defeat, his mouth met my skin, travelling across my neck and over my speeding pulse. His hand crept to my waist and held me tight against him, but I was already doing my best to get closer. I couldn't see, hear, or feel anything in the darkness that wasn't Zuko and I loved it. It was every bit as exhilarating as holding fire in my hands. I needed more. I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anybody.

I felt his fingers travelling down my waist and splaying over my hips, bringing them flush against his and it wasn't hard to guess where this would lead if I could just let go. It felt so good, the first time I hadn't had home or the Avatar in the back of my mind. My eyes snapped open wide. The Avatar. The Earth Kingdom. Suddenly, the dark started to feel oppressive. The blackness pressed down on my eyes and I couldn't see anything. I could feel Zuko against me, but it was different.

"Zuko," I tried to get his attention. Before I could say more, his teeth nipped lightly at my neck and I couldn't hold back a moan. I was lost for another few moments, but I couldn't get my mother's face out of my mind. I was the healer from the Earth Kingdom again and Zuko's mouth felt much warmer than it had before. I gripped his hands on my hips and pulled them away. "Zuko," I said again, "stop…"

I shimmied out from that very warm space next to his body. "I feel… like I'm betraying something."

I couldn't see him, but I just knew the expression that would be on his face. He'd be slipping back into that angry mask. "You're such a hypocrite. You want me, why does the rest of it matter?"

I paused in shock before blurting, "You killed the Avatar, Zuko! Maybe I thought I could forget that, but I can't."

He was quiet for a long time before he said, "What if I didn't."

"What?"

"What if I didn't kill the Avatar?"

"But you did. Do you regret what happened in Ba Sing Se?"

Again, he seemed to be chewing over my words. He finally huffed a sigh and growled, "No, I don't. But I—"

"I didn't think so. I need to get going if we're doing this today."

His hand filled with fire again and I looked away from the sudden blaze, and from his angry stare. I was a coward, but I couldn't look at him. I couldn't believe how stupid I was. I could never have revenge on him that way, not if I couldn't keep it in perspective. I couldn't stop myself from losing control around him and I wouldn't let him have that. I had to learn firebending, but I wouldn't give that murderer my body. I couldn't. This little episode had certainly proved that I was out of my element when it came to the prince.

I followed his broad, tense back into a different tunnel almost exactly opposite from the one that brought us from the beach. The tunnel climbed upward, and Zuko extinguished the fire when we started to see sunlight. We emerged in a rocky depression behind a ridge. He sat on the ground with his back to the ridge and told me to peek over the top. I climbed up and saw we were right above a cobblestoned road. My eyes followed it as it traveled upward to the huge prison built securely into the mountainside.

"Here." Zuko shoved a small canister at me. "These are your orders to see Uncle. Just give them to whoever asks for them, but make sure you let them know what a huge inconvenience it is. And don't forget to stand up straight. And there shouldn't be any—"

"Zuko, it'll be fine. Is there anything you want me to tell Iroh?" My eyes were still trained on the prison.

He took a deep breath and said, "Tell him… tell him I… nothing. Just make sure he's okay."

"You arranged this whole thing to get me in there to see him and you don't have anything—"

"I said I didn't! Just go."

I raised my eyebrows but didn't say anything more. I left him on the ridge and made my way down the hill toward the prison.

Alright guys, the beta and I worked very hard on this chapter! It went through many rewrites and a whole bunch of pondering, so I hope you like it!

I would love reviews.