Sorry I'm late updating again. It's easier writing about Sauron than about the fellowship. :P

Lily Lindsey-Aubrey: }X-D Ranger's Scop: Yes, they do sound interesting... Sixty-four K: Thanks! Yes, I stole the origins stories from various comic book series. Aragorn and Legolas are kind of like superheroes. Aw, thank you so much. I shouldn't feel depressed since all you wonderful readers have left so many beautiful reviews. :D Cupcake155: I really liked her in Cinderella, actually - even though she was evil. She has a lot of presence. Lady Gaga? O.O That would definitely have gotten him first place. XP I would be scarred if I tried to imagine that, though. Guest: Don't you wish he had in LotR? But they would probably still have been friends. girawesome43: Glad you're enjoying it! I've actually been trying to keep the chapters short since I thought it would make it easier for people to read. But if you like them longer, I won't try so hard. XD loopid: XD They are kind of creepy... some of them... FandomFangirl100: It's fun driving one's family nuts. *chuckles evilly and rubs hands together* Pip the Dark Lord of All: Yes. Yes, he is. XD Rousdower: We shall see... Spoilers...

Chapter 20: Orc Attack

It was a beautiful day in Mirkwood. All the missile silos were on red alert because the radars had picked up a nazgul on a fell beast invading the elvenking's airspace.

"He might simply be lost. Ought we to give him a warning, sire?"

"Fire!" the elvenking replied.

The nazgul glanced down at the dense, jungle-like foliage below. He had no idea where he was going to land. He wasn't sure he even wanted to land, considering how unpredictable the silvan elves could be. He wished someone else had been chosen for this mission.

The next instant he heard a whooshing sound and several explosions as his fell beast was blown to atoms. He was happy to find himself alive - or that is, still undead - as he drifted down towards the tree canopy, using his cloak as a parachute. He crashed through the trees, severely denting his armour, and got painfully involved in a giant spider web before being cut free by camouflage-clad elves and marched to the elvenking's palace.

Thranduil was sitting on his throne, garbed in his usual flowing robes and elven armour and cradling an AK-47.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Before I state my mission I must protest your shooting down an unarmed aircraft," said the nazgul.

"Unarmed fiddlesticks. It was a fell beast. Besides, I don't allow the emissaries of Sauron to enter my realm. You wouldn't have gotten here alive except that I'm mildly curious as to what you have to say - and technically you aren't alive anyway."

"I'm not an emissary of Sauron," the nazgul protested. "Eowyn sent me. She wants your help stealing the ring of power."

"Why does the mortal crave my assistance?" mused the elvenking.

"Because she -"

"Shut up! I was talking to myself. I will consider your proposal. In the mean time leave my demesne. You pollute it."

With a wave of his hand, the elvenking ended the interview and the nazgul was dragged out.

"It's a trap, sire," said Feren.

"Possibly," Thranduil replied. "But it could prove interesting. Besides, Legolas tells me he is trying to recover the ring as well. It would be embarrassing if he were actually successful. People might start thinking he's more fabulous than I am."

"That would be embarrassing."

"Exactly. I must prove to everybody beyond a shadow of a doubt that I, Thranduil elvenking am the most fabulous. Come, Feren. Let us steal this intriguing ring of power."

"I think we're lost, Pippin," gasped Merry.

The two hobbits stood in a small clearing in Ithilien. Orcish howls could be heard all around them.

"No we're not," said Pippin. "I know exactly where we are."

Merry stared at him with his mouth open. "But you've never even been here before!" he said.

"That's okay. I'm pretty smart. I'll find the way back to the others."

"Pippin," said Merry impatiently. "Everyone knows I'm the smart one and you're the stupid one."

"Then you find the way back."

Merry looked annoyed.

"Let's go this way," he said. He took two steps forward and then jumped backwards again as a band of orcs burst out of the trees just in front of him, waving crooked swords and shouting.

"Run, Merry!" shouted Pippin, turning and dashing in the other direction. Several orcs popped out of the woods in front of him and he screamed and fell backwards. Merry tripped over him and fell on top of him.

"WE'RE GOING TO DIEEEEE!" wailed Merry.

Suddenly a green shape popped out of nowhere and started chopping up orcs left and right.

"Don't be afraid, hobbits!" shouted the voice of Boromir. "I will save you!"

Somewhere nearby in the forest Aragorn and Legolas were fighting orcs and trying to look as awesome as possible for Faramir's cameraman who was still filming them.

"You'd better not put a commercial in this part," said Aragorn, chopping an orc's head off.

"You'd better give me as much screen time as Aragorn," said Legolas, shooting two orcs with one arrow.

Aragorn's dead army (minus Boromir) sat nearby, eating popcorn and clapping.

Some distance away Gandalf and Eowyn stood back to back, glaring at a bunch of orcs who had surrounded them.

"DEATH!" screamed Eowyn, waving her sword around.

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" shouted Faramir, appearing and shooting an orc with an arrow.

"I don't need you!" said Eowyn, bonking him on the head with a stick. Faramir passed out.

"We must find the others," said Gandalf, hitting an orc with his staff. "They can't be far away." He chopped another orc with his sword.

Suddenly Boromir appeared with a hobbit under each arm. "I saved the hobbits!" he said proudly.

"Where are Sam and Frodo?" asked Gandalf.

"Um, Idk."

"You're a failure!" shouted Gandalf. Boromir collapsed in an angsty heap.

"It's okay," said Faramir, waking up. "I feel for you, bro."

"Thanks, brother," muttered Boromir.

Just then Aragorn and Legolas appeared with the rest of the dead.

"Yay, we're all together again," said Aragorn. "Let's go before more orcs show up."

"We're missing Sam and Frodo," said Pippin.

"Oh well, we don't really need them anyway," said Legolas.

"Here we are," said Sam, as he and Frodo suddenly appeared from beneath what everyone had thought was a rock.

"Oh, ummmm," said Legolas, turning red.

"We just thought we'd hide under our elven cloaks," Sam explained. "Apparently nobody else was smart enough to think of that."

"Let's hide again," said Frodo, who was afraid of Eowyn.

"No; we've wasted enough time," said Gandalf. "What's that annoying sound?"

"Hold on, I need to take this," said Legolas, pulling his phone from his pocket. "It's my dad."

I am NOT going to make Thranduil steal the ring for himself, because I think several other people are already writing stories about that and it would make things too confusing. It is a cool idea, though.

So next time: More Sauron! Yaaay!