"Damn it! Sorry, girl, we're going to have to turn back. The Gates of Azulon have been tripped," the captain said over his shoulder. I glanced up from my seat and peered out the window. My jaw dropped as I saw the huge netting flare up, stringing a wall of fire between two massive dragons and meeting in the middle of the bay at a gigantic statue of what could only be Fire Lord Azulon.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Could be anything. With the eclipse, I suppose they're being extra careful. Though, you'd think they'd let me know if there was a drill or something today," he grumbled. "We can't get through, it's a whole process when the gates go up. They have to assess threats and whatnot. Probably won't be down 'til tonight."

"But isn't it usually for enemy ships?" The captain didn't answer, preoccupied as he was with barking orders at his sailors and trying to get his small merchant ship turned around. I relaxed when I saw how unworried the captain was, but my fists clenched in frustrated anger. I was so close to getting out! I would have to stay on the ship until the gates were open again or risk Azula finding out that I was still in the city. It was still morning, so I had a long day ahead of me. I heaved a sigh and sat back against the cold metal of the wall. I grimaced and shoved my pack in the gap between the wall and the small of my back, trying to make the ninety-degree angle somewhat more comfortable. My head rested against the wall and my eyes slid shut, but I didn't have much hope of sleeping. I rubbed a hand across my bare wrist and sighed.

As we made our way back to the docks, my mind started to reflect on the day before…

""""

Immediately upon waking up, I winced at the sharp pain cutting into my cheek. I lifted my head off my arm and blinked the sleep out of my eyes. I glanced down to see the beautiful bracelet encircling my wrist; it glinted at me in the morning light and seemed to mock me. It looked so out of place on my wrist, patches of dirt smudged across my darker skin. If I had pale, beautiful skin like Zuko's, soft from the expensive palace soaps, maybe it wouldn't look so alien. As it was, it reminded me of a pearl hidden among seaweed. It just didn't belong. I felt like I was insulting such a beautiful piece of jewelry by putting it on my wrist. I pushed myself to my feet and undid the clasp, slipping the bracelet into my pocket. I understood why Zuko gave it to me, but it didn't mean I thought he should have. Still, it gave me some comfort to know that I would have a piece of him where I was going…

""""

It was still early when I finally made it to the docks. No one bothered me, no one looked at me, and as I glanced around the stacks and the bustling of the capital, I knew I wouldn't miss it. I'd lived there for months and never felt a part of it. I thought about the Earth Kingdom, my village, but that didn't really feel like home, either. I thought about my old hut and my mother and felt a stir of that warm feeling. I thought about Tomi and our talks in his little room on the ship and felt it again. Then I thought about Zuko and how he'd taken care of me in my shack, and the feeling stayed with me until I was surrounded by the smell of salt water and coal-fire. If things went bad when I met Kenshin, at least I knew that I'd had a bit of home, however short. My scar seemed to twinge as I thought about Kenshin, and I rubbed a hand across my chest and felt the rough ridges under my shirt. Hopefully, it wouldn't be long until I could think about Kenshin with satisfaction rather than helpless anger.

I went from ship to ship, asking whoever would listen about hitching a ride and was turned down again and again by soldiers, merchants, and sailors. It seemed that most civilians were worried about getting in to the capital, not out. Even though the war was over, the Earth Kingdom was still considered unstable, so only those with important business or military permission were allowed out. Finally, a portly, middle-aged man with an impressive beard caught my elbow as I walked past him. I'd just about given up when he spotted me from his perch on a crate.

"I hear you're looking for a ride, girl?" he asked. He had a pleasant voice and smiled at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Still, I was cautious as I said, "That's right. Do you know anyone who can help?"

"Well, I do have a ship. That's pretty helpful. Leaving tomorrow to bring some crop to the army at Gapian. Could be that you can find a spot with the crew."

"So you want me to work on board?"

He chuckled and ran his eyes down my body. "Something tells me you won't be much use on deck, but I don't think I have any room for a lump of dead weight. Unless you can make it worth my while." He raised an eyebrow and peered at me.

"I don't have any money." My stomach started to roil at the thought that I might not get out of the city by the princess's deadline. I didn't know what Azula was capable of, but I knew what Kenshin was. I didn't want to take any chances.

The man took a piece of dried meat from his pocket and took a bite, dismissing me with a wave of his hand. "Then keep walking."

I fisted a bit of my skirt in my hand before I said, "There must be some way…"

"Can't think of any."

I took a deep breath and forced my jaw to relax. I tried my best to paste a sultry smile on my face and sauntered even closer to the man so that my breasts brushed his shoulder. I had to get out of the city, I might not get another chance. He stopped eating and looked up at me with his eyebrows almost touching his hairline.

"I can," I murmured.

I saw him gulp and his eyes flicked down my body again, but he seemed to shake himself and took another bite, ripping off a piece of meat. "Happily married, missy."

Great, I was dealing with the most honorable man in the Fire Nation. Still, his remark hit me with a sharp jab. The opinion of a merchant didn't really matter in my grand scheme, but it still stung to realize how far I'd fallen. How far I still had to go. I stepped back with a huff. "How much do you need?"

"Couldn't do it for less than five silvers."

"Five?!" I shrieked. A few sailors glanced over at me and the captain was laughing again.

"You don't seem to understand the risk of transporting unauthorized persons outta the country. Five silvers or no deal."

Damn it. I dropped my eyes to the dock and thought furiously. Short of robbing a shop, there was no way I could get the money in time. Even if I lowered myself enough to sell my body to the soldiers, I wouldn't get enough. My mind flicked to the Noble Quarter, but the houses there were so secure that you couldn't even cross the gates without proof of residence or relation. Five silvers. Five. Not even when I'd been running my healing business had I gotten that much money in three months. I raised my eyes to the man, who was happily eating his food and I felt almost overwhelmed. I had to leave by tomorrow or I'd be sent back to Kenshin. Only I couldn't leave. I could try to sneak onto a ship, or rob a shop, but to be caught doing either would certainly mean capture or death. "I don't have five silvers. Please, I need to get out of the city."

He popped the last bite into his mouth and rose to his feet, brushing his hands clean. "Like I said, I'm not leaving 'til tomorrow. You get the money by then, you got a ride."

""""

"You don't have to stay on the ship the whole day, but if you're not here by the time we get her rolling again, we leave without you," the captain said, his hand on the metal of the doorframe.

"I understand. I think I will stay, though. Can't let my money go to waste."

The man threw back his head and laughed. "Now that's some good sense! But just so you know, the food is carefully inventoried. I'll know if you take something, and I'll have to report you."

I lifted the corner of my mouth when I saw the glint of humor in his eye. If things were different, I could be very fond of the captain. "I'll keep that in mind."

As the crew found their way onto the deck and back into the city in search of food, drink, and women to pass the time, I sighed and settled further into the bench, lifting my feet up to rest along the empty length. I stared at the strip of sunlight that fell across my hardy traveling shoes and waited for it to move. I just wanted to be gone. Away from this city, away from Azula, and away from Zuko. It was strange, now that I'd recommitted myself to getting back to Kenshin, Zuko already felt like another lifetime ago.

""""

My heart was heavy with resignation and misery when the sun finally sank behind the mountains. It was Saturday and I was leaving tomorrow. As I wandered up and down the stacks, I tried to think of how I could say goodbye to Zuko. What could I say that he would understand? He seemed so different than he'd been even a month ago. When I first told him about Kenshin, he seemed to understand completely. He'd trained me intensely and taught me every attack he knew. Then… I don't know. He just seemed to stop. He kissed more than he attacked, hesitated rather than taught. It was so glaringly obvious now that he was losing his nerve all that time. Of course, love struck idiot that I was, I didn't see it for a long time. I just hoped that whatever anger he had inside him, because I was sure he still had it, would be enough for him to be able to let me go. After all, what would there be for me here? I didn't want an apartment paid by the royal accountants for the rest of my life while Zuko visited whenever he could get away from his wife and his duties as Fire Lord. And that was the best-case scenario. Even if it hadn't been for Azula, leaving was the best thing I could do at that point. We were both in too deep and I knew it. Any longer and… well, Kenshin might have gotten away with it all.

Even though I knew it was early, I went to the clearing. Zuko wouldn't be there for hours, but I needed to drill. I never would have thought back when I was living in the Earth Kingdom that I would someday find solace and serenity in firebending. I certainly had fallen a long way, but once Kenshin was dead, I wouldn't have to firebend anymore. I wouldn't need to soothe any anger. My eyes closed and I breathed in the salty air until my lungs complained, letting it out slowly until I could feel my breath get hotter as I reached for the fire. My eyes opened and I saw the steam billow from my mouth before I lifted my hand and let the handful of flames hover there. I smiled at it before my face twisted and I reached for the anger instead, letting it fuel the heat inside me. The flames in my hand burst upward in a roar and I shifted my body to throw it out in front of me. Spirits, it felt good to see what I could do.

I'd been training so hard that I didn't really realize how much time had passed until I noticed that the moon was touching the tops of the mountains already. My arms dropped and the clearing was bathed in black as my flames died. Where was he? My heart started to race as I squinted at the path that led to the clearing, searching for his silhouette. It was only a couple hours until dawn, I had to get back to my shack; I wanted to get at least a few hours' rest before I left. I had to force myself not to flinch as I thought about the ship.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! I couldn't leave it like it was last night; he said he'd come. Might be late, he said, but he'd be there. Only it was time to go, and he wasn't there. I sat in the cold dirt for another half hour or so, but I knew it was useless. If he hadn't shown by then, he wasn't coming. I dashed away a quick tear and got to my feet. Maybe it was better this way, I wouldn't have to say goodbye. I wouldn't have to explain myself or try to make him let me go. It was better, really. I just wish I could have seen him one more time. I called up that image of Kenshin leaning over me to harden my heart again as I walked through the stacks. That was all that mattered. Zuko would be far better off without me in the Fire Nation; he had his family, horrible as they were, and his fiancé. And no matter what doubts he had, he loved his nation. That's something we would never be able to reconcile. A clean break was better for him. Still, when I finally curled up on my pallet, I clutched the bracelet he'd given me close to my chest and tried to imagine that he was with me.

I was in that floating place between sleep and wakefulness when I heard the cloth over my door rustling. In the dim light, all I could see was a shadow moving through the room. Still only half-awake, my mind jumped straight to Azula and I sat up with a ball of flame in my hand, ready to attack. In the sudden light, I could see that it was Zuko. My heart calmed and I let the fire go out.

"Zuko, what are you doing?" He moved to my side and crouched in front of me, but I couldn't see his face. I let the flame return to my hand again, but kept it to a dim glow, just enough to see his face. My breathing sped when I saw the look in his eyes. He looked like he was about to be sick. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" I said, my troubles forgotten.

He didn't say anything, just stared straight ahead as if I wasn't even there. The fire reflected in his golden eyes, but even that couldn't erase the dullness in them. I put my free hand against his face and tried to turn his head to look at me. He turned, but his eyes didn't sharpen.

I was starting to panic, and I quickly ran my eyes over him to see if he was injured. I couldn't see anything obviously wrong, so I rubbed my hand across his cheek and said, "Zuko, you're scaring me. Are you alright?"

"It's worse than I ever knew," he murmured, his voice lifeless.

"What is?"

His tongue flicked out to wet his lips and his brows drew together, and I was glad to see he could move, but his eyes were still scaring me. I almost wanted to let the fire go out so I wouldn't have to see them. He was staring straight through me. "But… I mean it'll only be the ones who don't follow. They can't mean everybody. It'll end the…" He trailed off and I could tell he wasn't really talking to me.

"Zuko, what are you talking about?" I traced my thumb under his eye, but he didn't react, just kept staring forward.

"It can't be… It can't be right…"

"What can't be? Zuko, please look at me!" My voice was shaking and I moved to sit directly in front of him so that I filled his vision.

He blinked a couple times and his jaw shut with a snap. His eyes focused and he raised his hand to press against mine where it rested on his face. I almost cried with relief. "Rei."

I leaned in and pressed a hard kiss against his lips. "Spirits, Zuko, I thought you were going crazy. What's going on?"

His eyes were focused, but his expression still looked confused and a little vacant, as if his brain were trying to solve an impossible equation. "I don't… I don't know if I can say anything. It's…" A shudder tore through him and I finally let the flame go out so I could wrap my arms around him. He was trembling and I held him tighter. After a few seconds, his arms went around my waist and he held me so tightly that I could barely breathe.

"Is it Azula?" I asked through my teeth. I knew then that if she hurt him, I'd kill her.

His face ducked into my neck and I felt his mouth move against my skin as he said, "She's… Spirits, Rei, she's evil. I always knew she was ruthless, cruel, but… she really is evil. And my father… I don't know what to do." his voice cut off and he pressed his face even more firmly into my neck. I stroked his hair and held him, but I was bursting with the need to know more. What had they done now?

"Let me help you," I said. His arms loosened and I let him draw back so he could look at me. In the dim light, I could see that his brows were drawn down again, but in determination this time. He was more himself, but a deep frown was still etched on his face.

"You have. I think I need to do the rest on my own. It's funny, I never really prayed before. But I'm praying now, have been for weeks."

"For what?"

"To be able to choose what to do. I think this is it…" I was about to ask what he meant when he stood and made to walk away, his face lit with fervor.

He was leaving. "Wait!" I almost shouted, scrambling to my feet. He turned, confused. My voice seemed to abandon me and I didn't know what to do. This was it, I was leaving today and I didn't know what to say to him. So I didn't say anything. I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, breathing him in and clamping down hard on my tears. He held me, but I could tell he was confused. My words found me and came out muffled against his shoulder, "Thank you."

"Rei, what—?" I kissed him before he could ask. I couldn't say goodbye, so I wouldn't. It was weak and selfish, but I couldn't do it. When dawn started to peek into the room, we finally broke apart.

He held my face in his hands and pressed one more kiss to my lips before he said, "I'm sorry if I scared you… but don't worry. I just need some time; I'll be back."

My jaw clenched, but I forced a smile. "See you then."

He didn't smile, just nodded and turned to leave, pulling his hood over his head. He walked out the door and took a piece of me with him. Back on my pallet, I stayed propped against the wall and fingered the bracelet lying on my pillow. I spent the rest of the time I had there shutting away every bit of love for him I could find in me. Eventually, the only thing I had left of him was the piece of jewelry in my hands. So, I gathered my things, walked to the docks, and gave the beautiful bracelet to the captain.

""""

It was barely noon, and I'd been dozing against the metal wall when the sounds of war startled me awake. At first, my mind tried to tell me that it was fireworks, but the sound of fireworks wouldn't be followed by the sounds of buildings crumbling. They were Fire Nation explosions and I scrambled off my bench to run to the window. What I saw was every man and woman wearing Fire Nation uniforms running toward the city, running toward the enemy ships anchored at the docks, while civilians scattered like ants away from them. Then I saw Earth Kingdom colors.

Thanks for sticking with me, guys! I think you can all guess what's coming in the next chapter, and I'll try to do it justice.

Please review!

And thanks to my beta, BabyAngel9614.