Chapter 7-Silence
"Raph really did a number on you, Leo."
'Not that I can entirely blame him…'
He's not answering, he's unconscious, which isn't what's bothering me. What's bothering me is that it's too quiet. For the first time I can remember, New York City is completely, utterly silent. Every sound I make rings in my ears, my bare feet against the stone floor, my breathing as I ease Leo onto the sofa. The silence is suffocating me, I can't even think. I just feel blank, void, wishing more than anything for this resonating silence to be broken. I know that my body is moving, but there isn't any conscious thought to what I'm doing. I don't even see what I'm typing on my computer, or what I'm examining under my microscope. My mind slowly begins to piece together thoughts again, and I briefly wonder how Raph and Mikey are going to get home before feeling something cold on my hands. My eyes refocus, I look down at my hands, I see droplets of liquid dripping onto my fingers. I reach up to feel my face, and I realize I'm crying. Even my sobs are silent, they lack the shallow, sharp inhaling that normally occurs whenever I shed tears. I want to curse out the silence, but my own voice betrays me, it won't let me speak above a whisper.
"Why did you do this, Leo?"
I surprise myself with my own question, but my surprise quickly vanishes, my mind wandering aimlessly through the silence. But, suddenly, my thoughts find themselves focused on a memory, one blissfully lacking in silence. I remember back to a particular Halloween night, the one night of the year when Master Splinter would allow the four of us to roam freely on the surface. I remember the incident with the corrupt humans, I remember the fear in Sensei's eyes, I remember my heart pounding as the four of us fled back to the sewers on his order. I remember not sleeping that night, I remember Sensei's bruises when he returned.
"Master Splinter! You're hurt!"
"Calm yourself, Donatello. These injuries are minor. I am very much relieved to know you are alright."
"What about that man? Is he okay?"
"… I'm afraid not, my son. That man is no longer of this world."
"But… he didn't do anything wrong… why?"
"Much excess hatred exists within the human world, my son. Tonight was an example of that hatred being exacted unjustly upon those who are innocent. It is because of this hatred that I forbid you and your brothers from roaming the surface. I'm sorry that you had to learn of that corruption in such a way tonight, and it certainly isn't how I would have chosen for you to learn of it."
The memory fades out of focus, I realize that I've wandered to Leo's side, sitting with my legs folded behind me, the tears slowly waning. Before I can even wipe my face, a fresh flow of sobs washes over me, and I find myself whispering again, still unable to break this cursed silence.
"I always wished for there to be quiet. Quiet so that I could work on my experiments, my studies, my inventions. I always wished for Mikey to cease his gleeful outbursts, or for Raph to take a break from sparring with you. I always wanted silence, just for one day, so that I could truly keep my attention on my work. I still do wish for that."
My arms fall limp at my sides, the cold stone floor greeting my hands as I hang my head, the tears running freely down my face.
"But I didn't wish for this kind of silence, Leo. Never like this…"