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Of Crystal and Rock
Be Careful
I am running again. I am so out of breath but still I continue to run. Once again I don't know how long I've been running for; if I am running from something or towards something but I know I have to keep going. Finally I reach the clearing again but no one comes to block my path and I don't stop for a break I just sprint past. I am heading towards something, now I must figure out what it is and I have to get there before it's too late. I've been in this area before. Pushing myself as hard as I can I keep going until my lungs burn and I can barely rasp air through my mouth. My pain pays off because finally I reach my destination, the place I have been trying to get to I know where it is now, the crystal cave. I stand in the entrance. Dusk has passed and darkness is starting to fall across the land. Shadows play across the reflective rocks and I know I'm supposed to go in. Even though I know I'm supposed to go in I really don't want to. A gust of wind comes out of nowhere in the melancholy of the night and swirls my scarf and jacket towards the rock indentation. As the wind passes through the cave I hear the eerie sound of harp whispers bouncing off the crystals once again. I blink rapidly and go in without preamble waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I put my hand out to steady myself against the wall of this cave as I continue to listen for a clue or answer. My arm slides farther than I expect, totally missing the wall and my hand catches the edge of a rock slicing into my palm once more.
When I wake this time I know something is wrong. I'm covered in a cold sweat and blood is leaking down my hand. I un-wrap the piece of cloth I had wrapped around my palm which is now saturated and examine it. Where the first scratch had started to scab this new cut went through it and continued down farther making a sort of lopsided X. I must go to the crystal cave. The notion hits me like a ton of bricks but I realize this was the thing that had been scratching at the back of my head for the past couple of days. There is something I need to know but I can't find out through my dream. My dream is the messenger calling me to a place I need to be. I get up, disregarding the fact that it's still dark out and dress my new injury. Gaius is snoring away in the corner. I wish I could just leave now but it's dark and everyone would worry if they didn't know where I was. Not to mention Arthur would probably skin me alive.
After I tend to the cuts, I creep over to the corner and take an apple out of the basket we keep stocked with fruits. It crunches against my teeth and tastes heavenly in my mouth. I chew slowly savoring the taste and take another bite.
"Glad to see you still eat."
I whirl around at the sound of his voice and stare as the apple's juice rolls down my chin. I quickly wipe it with the back of my right hand, "What are you talking about?"
"Recently I haven't seen you eat anything whenever I offered. A few mouthfuls of soup are not good enough," he adds when he sees my mouth open in protest, "You have a problem Merlin. Care to share?"
"It's my dreams, not the one about Morgana a different one. Or it's kind of connected, I don't know it's confusing but the one thing I do know is I have to go to the crystal cave."
"The crystal cave? That one where you saw the vision? Why do you have to go there?" Gaius asks as he starts to get up from his bed.
"I don't know why but I know I have to. I can't sleep, I can't function correctly. I won't be able to rest peacefully until I go. So after I get Arthur up tomorrow I'm going to leave. You've got to cover for me."
"All right Merlin I will."
I get up and smile, "Thanks." I start to go back into my room then I add almost yelling, "Not the tavern!"
He chuckles lightly and I close my door behind me. I go under my bed and detach the secret floor board where I keep the book Gaius has given me. It comes up easily and I start to flip through it. I don't know what I'm looking for but I just had the urge to have something magic related in my hands. Reading some spells and mouthing the words puts my mind at ease. I haven't spoken to Kilgharrah in a while and I ponder about how Aithusa is doing. The Great Dragon never mentioned him once since I freed him from the egg and suddenly that seems peculiar. Surely Kilgharrah should have mentioned something in passing, even a simple he is healthy and growing fine. I close the book and put it back under my bed then click the plank back in place securely. I'll need to follow up on that once I have some time, I can't believe it never crossed my mind before this. I crawl back into bed hoping that now I can sleep restfully with the knowledge of my impending visit coming soon.
Blinking lightly I see the sun shining through my little window. Finally I have slept some and it feels amazing. I languidly stretch my muscles and kick the covers free of my legs. It feels so peaceful at the moment that I don't want to move at all.
Suddenly Gaius is barging into my room, "You better hurry up if you want Arthur up on time with breakfast on his table!"
With that said I jump up and go through my morning routine. I take the bread and cheese Gaius offers me this time and stuff half of it, it into my mouth raising my eyebrows at him, inquiring if this meets his approval.
He rolls his eyes at me but nevertheless smiles fondly, "Be careful when you go Merlin."
"Be careful."
Those two words jump out at me. I almost drop the bread in my hand and take a misstep tripping over my own feet but then I shake my head, regain my balance, and nod to Gaius in farewell. He looks at me oddly but I must go and wake sleeping beauty. Just as quickly as the feeling comes, it passes and I hope Arthur's not still upset with me about yesterday.
"Rise and shine Arthur!"
"Back to that morning greeting, are we?" he asks as he slides his legs off the bed and stretches his arms above his head. As I pull the blinds from the window I see his back muscles flex lusciously and I need to turn my head away.
"Your breakfast, Sire."
I pull the chair from the table for him. He pulls on one of his red shirts and sits. I watch as he parts his lips and shovels a sausage into his mouth. He chomps merrily and continues on in this fashion. I try not to stare, I really try not to. I'm distracted, it's bad I know, but I grab Arthur's sword belt, his sword still attached, with my left hand before I realize I've done it. My tender palm screams in protest and I drop the items while a hiss escapes my teeth.
Arthur turns in his chair and studies me. It's one of those stares that are longer than they used to be.
"Ah, I scratched my palm yesterday and I forgot about it," I say as a way to pacify him I hope. I bend again, only this time taking the sword and belt in my right hand, placing it on his bed.
"Well looks like you need a new bandage that ones all dirty."
Sure enough this one is spotted with blood where I obviously reopened the wounds.
"Let me see," he holds out his hand expectantly.
"It's only a scratch nothing you need to worry about," I try to say. He says nothing, only beckons with his hand once and I am a servant at his mercy once again. I obligingly surrender my hand and he removes the cloth.
"How'd you get that?"
"On a rock."
He raises an eyebrow at me.
I feel a blush creeping up my face because his hand is still holding mine, then I clarify, "Some jagged rocks I was trying to move."
He loosens his hold like he's about to let go and I relax, letting out a sigh attempting to take my hand back but then his hold tightens quickly and he yanks me toward himself. I am sprawled unceremoniously in his lap my mouth agape.
"Merlin I know you've been trying to avoid me but I don't know why. You said you weren't angry about what happened that night, but then I don't know how you do feel. Do you regret it? Did you like it?" he licks his lips then continues, "Do you want to do it again?"
The breath is totally knocked out of me. I don't know if it's from my tumble into his lap, the strength and sureness of his words, or the heat his body is releasing. I suspect it's a little bit of them all but I take a steadying gulp of air and I'm so close that I can smell the sausage on his breath, the soaproot he uses to wash his hair, and polished metal. At polished metal a shudder runs through my body.
"I'd do anything for you Arthur," I breathe.
This time I initiate. I know I shouldn't and I've been jumping back and forth between right and wrong, truth and lies, but at the moment I just don't give a damn. I want him. I want him so damn much it hurts. I shift my body so I can straddle his hips and bend my head to capture his lips; he takes a sharp intake of breath as anticipation blooms over his features, our lips just touch when suddenly there is a knock at the door.
I jump up so quickly that I knock my tailbone on the end of the table. I hobble over to his bed and start to make it without a word.
"Enter!" Arthur calls a little more gruffly then he has to. This pleases me to no end; at least I am not the only one suffering from this misfortune.
I glance over my shoulder as Gwen enters. The blanket shifts as I pull the pillows away and yank it out of my way. I stay focused on my work as I listen.
"My lord," Gwen says her eyes downcast, "Some farmers from the outlying villages seek your good counsel and protection from bandits that keep attacking."
"Yes of course I will see them right away," Arthur says his voice back to normal.
"Arthur," I call. I fasten his sword belt around his hips, debating for a split second about brushing my hand intimately across his abs before I remember Gwen is still standing in the doorway. I don't even know why I possessed that thought in the first place. I wrap his red cloak over his shoulders and place his crown very delicately on his head. He starts to go but before he leaves I say, "Be careful."
He smiles at me, a smile that finally touches his eyes, "What do you mean by that. If we have to go fight these hoodlums, be sure I'll be dragging you with me."
I am torn for a moment. On the one hand I will have to go with Arthur if he ventures outside of Camelot (lets face it, he definitely wouldn't last a day without me) but I must go to the crystal cave. If only for my sanity alone I must go there soon.
"Merlin," Gwen sticks her head inside, "Are you coming?"
I finish the bed and quickly follow after Gwen. Arthur in his entire kingly splendor is sitting on his throne. He has his face screwed up, which means he is listening to what the man is saying and trying to come up with a decision everyone will approve of.
"I know it is just on the edge of your territory, my lord but we beg for your assistance."
"How many are there and are they organized?"
"Nothing but ruffians my lord; a great many of them though. Too many to fend off ourselves as we are just poor farmers," the man said gravely.
"Well put your fears aside we will ride at once for your town."
That was Arthur for you. At the sound of trouble he would go where ever he needs to and do anything he needs to, to protect his people. The thought suddenly crosses my mind that perhaps Arthur should start taking a back seat to these affairs and let his knights handle this. His counselors tell him he needs to be more careful now that he is the king. He needs to be more careful now then ever before. Of course I would never mention this to him directly for it would be shot down and he would probably call me a coward. Although I know I'm anything but a coward.
"Thank you my lord, thank you," the man bows deeply to his majesty.
If we were setting off right away then there was no way I was going to be able to go where I needed to go. The thought cooled my blood immensely.
On cue Arthur gets up. I follow after him at a brisk walk as he flings his crown unceremoniously over his shoulder. My hand shoots out just in time to grab the adorned gold piece before it hits the ground. For as much as Arthur complains about my terrible skills as a servant he certainly has faith in my ability for these things. As we go to his room he unfastens the cape and tosses it at me. I catch that nimbly in my fingers and fold it, placing it with the crown in his wardrobe.
"Start packing up Merlin."
He doesn't even glance at me as he starts unrolling parchments and looks at the map of his lands. I take a deep breath and start to do as I'm bid, "At once, Sire."
My steps feel heavy as I make my way back to Gaius' chambers so I can pack my own meager belongings and head off with Arthur to fight these bandits. Well Arthur will fight and I'll just make sure nothing bad happens to him. As I roll my blanket up and put some extra clothes in my pack I think about how Arthur can just turn it on and off like that. One second we are in a compromising position, I cough suddenly and feel my face heat up even thought there's no one around to see; then the next second we are surrounded by people and acting like nothing changed. In truth nothing has really changed.
I have just finished tacking the horses and securing our gear when Arthur comes over, in full steel armor and takes the reins to his dapple colored stallion. He mounts up quickly and I see all the knights finishing with their own horses and mounting up. I hurriedly tie up the last knot and then jump up onto my own horse.
Arthur says some words of wisdom to the knights and a cheer goes up in answer to him. We start off at a gallop with Arthur in the lead with the villagers, me flanking his left side and Percival his right.
We ride long and hard. I am exhausted when we make camp for the night. The villagers insist that we are not very far at all. We should reach their home around noon on the morrow. I scoop some stew into Arthur's plate and hand it to him. He nods in thanks then I go retrieve my own supper. I un-tack our horses and sling the saddles over a low hanging branch, then rub them down quickly. With those chores completed I flop onto my bedroll and curl up under my blanket.
I feel my eyeballs moving rapidly behind my eyelids, but no matter how hard I try I cannot wake myself. It is like I am encased in total darkness and although I am conscious there is no way to change my fate and make my limbs move when they will not. Panic starts to rise in the back of my throat but I cannot make a sound, nothing will obey my command. Suddenly I am shaken so violently that my orbs pop open and I am back. I can smell the grass underneath me, feel the rough spun wool material of my blanket, and hear the horse's heavy breathing as they rest peacefully alongside us.
"Merlin, you were having a dream," Arthur whispers next to me.
His thick blonde hair and lovely blue eyes come into my line of view and I have to think for a moment before it registers that he has spoken to me, "I'm sorry Sire, did I wake you?"
"No I was on Sentry, but you didn't seem to be resting well."
"I'll rest better now," I whisper as my eyes drift closed again. I don't know if I imagine or dream it or perhaps it really happened but I feel a hand smooth through my dark locks in a soothing gesture. I sleep.