Of Crystal and Rock
Moonlight
"That wasn't so bad, Sire."
"That's easy for you to say you were hiding behind a haystack while we were all fighting!" Arthur responded.
I roll my eyes because while I was technically hiding behind the haystack I was only doing it to stay out of sight to keep my king safe. Apparently the three times I averted the bandits away from him and the two times I knocked them out so he wouldn't be absurdly outnumbered doesn't count for anything. Not that I really expected acknowledgement for my contributions. But still once in a while it's nice to hear that you did a good job.
Arthur sticks his sword in the ground and puts his left hand on his opposite shoulder, rolling it and massaging the joint. The other knights plop down on the ground in exhaustion while the villagers walk around with buckets of water and ladles. They heatedly tell the knights how magnificent they looked fighting and how grateful they are that the ruffians won't be bothering them ever again. I walk around, taking inventory of everyone but I see no lethal wounds. My pack of herbs, salves, and tonics is slung across my back and I tend to all the major injuries. Leon has a long gash on his upper arm that sliced right through his mesh armor. It's about as long as my finger and at least two inches deep, too deep to mend up correctly on its own. I put some anesthetic on the wound then stitch it up neatly. Rubbing some disinfectant salve on it afterwards I nod pleased with my completed work.
Leon examines my efforts critically before smiling, "You did really well Merlin, as good as Gaius I would venture to say."
I beam at the obvious praise, "Thank you!"
I practically skip back over to where Arthur is. He gives me a disgusted look as I sit next to him, "What are you so happy about?"
"Eh?" I mumble and hum to myself not really listening to what he says. Rearranging the contents in my bag, I check to make sure I have enough of all my ingredients left incase something comes up. I am too thrilled about how my skills have improved so drastically in a short amount of time. I am also thankful that no one died. Gaius will be so happy when I tell him about all the injuries I patched up. Then I hear Arthur groan as he slowly flexes his shoulder. Apparently he's paying me as much attention I have been paying to him.
Finally I notice his discomfort and slide behind him, pulling his red tunic and mesh away from his skin so I can look at his shoulder. The metal plated shoulder piece hasn't been ruined but he has a nasty looking welt that probably came from a mace thrust. I fish in my bag and take out the salve that sooths heated skin and sore muscles. This brings me back to the first time I ever met Arthur and I got a similar wound, Gaius had applied this to me. Shrugging slightly I put a generous glob on my hand and stick my arm down his shirt, rubbing gently over the tender skin. Arthur stiffens immediately and then sighs deeply as the tense muscle relaxes.
Eventually Arthur takes a look around at his men, then acknowledges what I have done, "You've actually become quite useful Merlin. What was it you put on my shoulder, it was heavenly."
"Just a muscle relaxant, it sooths irritated skin," I explain. I pout somewhat at the first part of Arthur's remark. So I'm only useful occasionally, indicating before this that I had been utterly useless. If only Arthur knew how helpful I had been just an hour ago!
Arthur turns and gives me an appraising look before he stands, slides his sword back into its scabbard and bellows to his people, "Well done men! We shall head back to Camelot on the morrow! Get a good nights rest as we'll ride hard all day long."
I follow Arthur into the cabin that has been graciously prepared for the king of Camelot. He stands and has his hands resting on the back of a chair. That face is one I have seen before, when he is trying to decide a course of action to take or figure out a specific problem; I wonder dimly if this battle hadn't gone as smoothly as I first thought. I reach over to undo his sword belt. I slip off the battered shoulder protector and start unlacing his wrist guards. After I get him shimmied out of all his armor he eases himself down on the bed in the corner stuffed with straw. I assess him as he flings his uninjured arm across his face over his eyes. His body sags against the wooden frame of the bed and now I can see how tired he is. We rode all day and he stayed up late last night, then he fought all day practically and we'll be riding all day tomorrow as well. He must be more exhausted then even I am.
"Do you have any other aches, Arthur?" I ask sympathetically. I don't often feel sympathy for my hardworking although infuriating king, but I know how bad it can be when you can't sleep or don't get enough sleep so I am extra supportive for the moment.
"No," he mumbles.
"Would you like me to fetch you anything?"
Slowly Arthur removes his arm from his face, "Now that you mention it I do have one more ache."
"Where?" I wonder as I reach for my bag.
He beckons me towards him and I raise an eyebrow inquisitively. I reach for my bag again but this time he just shakes his head. Reluctantly I leave it where it is and kneel by the bed. Arthur looks up at me with his big blue eyes and speaks smoothly, "It's an ache that only you can fulfill Merlin."
I swallow noticeably because that wasn't exactly what I was expecting him to say. He watches my adam's apple bob up and down as I swallow and I almost feel self-conscious. Last time I had worked up the nerve to do something, but this time it is so abrupt I don't know how to react. I think Arthur can see this because he puts me out of my misery by putting his hand on the back of my head and yanking me down to him. My lips meet his and there is a desperation in this kiss that wasn't in the first ones we shared. Perhaps it's because we kept getting interrupted or because we both know how the other feels but now its just plain hot. He grabs my bottom lip in his teeth and all my thoughts evaporate from my head. I just feel heat and need. His hand slides down past my neck and traces the protruding bones of my spine. Perhaps I should do something with my hands as well so I tentatively place my right hand on his chest over his heart. It flutters faster than normal under my warm touch and as I slide my hand down I feel his nipple pucker to attention. I am thoroughly shocked that just a small move had such a major reaction. Then Arthur's hand reaches my butt and gives it a good hardy squeeze that shocks me and I think I forget to breathe because I break away from the kiss in utter amazement, sputtering for air and a clear concise thought. I probably shouldn't be so surprised but for some reason I am. I am still kneeling on the floor and Arthur leans up from lying on the bed, propping himself up on his elbow. His hand is still resting on my bottom and I try not to concentrate on that, but it's hard not to notice.
"Merlin, I want you. And I'm pretty sure you want me too. So come up here."
His words are so authoritative and precise that I stand automatically because I can never disobey him (well I can and do all the time but for some reason I can't right now).
Before I can make it onto the bed though there is, would you imagine a knock at the door? Seems like we can never get the timing right. The spell is broken and the heat drains from my body, I quickly retreat from his prone form. Arthur glares at me so angrily that I shudder but I know it's not me he is angry with, well at least I don't think it's me.
He takes a calming breath, flops back down, and winces as he jostles the bothered shoulder. He shoves me away even further and calls while gritting his teeth, "Enter!"
Gwaine and Elyan enter, bantering and poking each other, oblivious to the things that just went on in here thank goodness. I watch as Gwaine shuts the door, there is barely a scratch on him and Elyan has a wad of gauze wrapped around his head where he got a minor cut from a sword hilt whacking him. They sit at the table and lean back obviously exhausted from the day's efforts.
I go over to my little medicine bag and fiddle around with it because I'm not sure what else to do. Although only seconds passed before Arthur invited them to enter, I can't believe they are so oblivious to the tension in the room. Or is that just how I'm feeling? Arthur has resumed his resting position of arm across face. Gwaine is moving his hands enigmatically reenacting a battle move that he was evidently very proud of.
"Merlin could you find us something to eat, I'm famished over here!"
"Of course," I say as I quickly step outside and I am glad for the distraction. I take a cleansing breath, is it just me or was it super hot in there?
Well at least now I know how serious Arthur is about me, which is a good thing. I think we might possibly have a chance. As this thought floats across my inner workings I remember my magic. Shit, it totally slipped my mind. Do I want to continue this relationship without confessing my deepest darkest secret? If I confess before we get serious, he will probably end it, but if I confess later on I think he would be devastated and feel betrayed. And in either situation I may not live long enough to come to a better conclusion. Suddenly I am torn between what I should do. I must be wearier around Arthur until I make a decision on this matter. No more steamy hot kisses in the armory or his room or on a bed… I shake my head to dispel those tainting ideas. The issue is though, that I lose all my willpower when Arthur kisses me or even when he tells me to do something. I just can't keep a clear head with him around lately. It never used to be this difficult, but then I didn't use to feel this way. Is this what being in love is always like? I stop mid-stride because I can't believe I just thought that. The dreaded L word. But no, I can't be. Definitely, positively not me. I honestly thought I, being who I am, would never truly find love. Am I that serious about Arthur?
A villager gives me an odd look at my frozen position and I hurriedly finish my step before they can say something. I am supposed to be finding food right now, not thinking about all these things. Thankfully one of the women offers me a whole chicken, already seasoned, spiced, and cooked. I let out a relieved sigh that I don't have to do it myself. This will definitely be enough for those three chow hounds. I glance down at the chicken again thinking about how big their appetite usually is. Before I go back inside I come to the realization that it might not be enough after all and amend that it will just have to do.
"Here you are," I place the chicken platter on the table.
"That was fast," Gwaine mentions but is obviously pleased as he rips off the leg and then tears chucks of meat off with his teeth. It's like he doesn't even chew as the chicken slides off the bone, down his throat and he is doing it again. Elyan follows suit, then Arthur rises from the bed. He rips off the other leg and I turn to go back outside when he places the leg in my hand then sits at the table and starts to devour the chicken with the other two.
I am a bit surprised but I take my prize out with me and gobble it down behind the cottage. I lick my fingers clean and realize I was hungry. I hadn't really eaten anything but a little bit of the stew leftover from the night before. I wonder vaguely if Arthur noticed this then push the thought aside. Of course he didn't, he was just making sure I got something today. The sun has set and stars start to twinkle out along with the moon. Most of the cabins lights are out; it is so dark that everything in the sky shines twice as bright as it normally does.
I place my bedroll on the wood floor right next to the only bed in the cabin and shift around as I get comfortable. Gwaine and Elyan are curled up on their sides in the middle of the cabin by the door already snoring. It was really embarrassing that Arthur noticed my restive sleep last night, so I plead silently that I don't rustle around or cry out tonight. I lie on my back and stare at the wood beams over head.
"Merlin," Arthur whispers.
"Yes Sire?"
"When we get back, I will finish what I started."
I feel the blush creep up my neck but I know Arthur can't see it. Muscles clench deliciously in my stomach but I try to ignore them too. He rolls over on the bed so I see his two piercing blue eyes glinting in the darkness as he looks down at me.
He observes me critically and places his hand on my shoulder, not in an intimate manner, just friendly and continues his whisper, "You feel so thin Merlin. It might be more noticeable to me now that I've," he clears his throat, "held you. You've got to eat more."
I don't know why I'm so mortified, I suppose it's because he's insinuating that I can't take care of myself when I clearly can; or maybe not so clearly. I've just been so stressed out about my dreams and now with this new budding relationship with Arthur I have been neglecting myself a bit. I'm just embarrassed that he's noticed, and my conscious is preening elegantly that he even cares enough to mention it. I silently decide to fix this issue immediately.
"Well we can't all be as plump as you Arthur!"
He scowls at me, "I'm not fat! It's the armor and my layers of cloth."
"Of course."
"Merlin!" he chastises me in a whisper, "I'm serious."
"I'm sorry, I've been… preoccupied but I'll definitely eat more."
"Good I need you to stay fit so you can continue on with your chores in a timely fashion and still be able to perform other activities for me, perhaps later in the evening," he waggles his brows at me expectantly. I can almost taste the threat and promise in those last words.
"I would do anything for you Arthur," I utter the words once more because they are true but then Arthur pulls back with a frown on his face.
"I don't want you to do it for me, Merlin. I want you to do it because you want to as well."
My thoughts of a few hours before pop back into my head and I decided that I wasn't going to encourage him! I am not going to lead him on nor go along with what he wants or says before a decision on the matter comes to me. Once again I was swept up in the whirlwind that is my king and I just can't think. Our bantering always starts out fun then it turns serious before I can blink my eyes. I'm swept away by the current and barely able to keep my head afloat. Maybe after my trip to the crystal cave I will be able to put all the pieces together and figure it out, but right now I need to be non-committed yet still interested. Why is this so hard?
"Everything I do is for you Arthur," I say because it really is entirely true. I think about all the times I've saved his life and everything I have ever done to further Albion's success. He is so important to everyone, to the land, and to me. I smile shyly at him, "But I do all those things for you because I want to, not because you ask me to or because I have to."
His furrowed forehead eases and he seems utterly pleased by this statement. I hope I haven't just boosted his ego sky high. That's the last thing I need. He leans back on the bed so I can no longer see his face.
It's an impossibly long time and I have deduced he is slumbering away next to me when I hear a faint, "Thank you."
My heart soars and my eyes subconsciously shift to the window where the moonlight is shining, bathing us in its glory. I don't think he knows I am still awake so I silently send a message back and hope it reaches him, you're welcome.