A/N: Thank you so much for your patience with the wait :)
This chapter is in celebration of Giulia's birthday. #TeamGiulia
This fic is sort of starting to err on the side of crack, but I hope you guys can bear with me :P Thank you to Sophie, D, and Wifey for betawork.
Enjoy!
-Angie
"All right, everyone. Gather 'round. Welcome to the first rehearsal for Little Shop of Horrors. I hope you realize that if you're taking this class, not only will you have a grade for yourself, but a grade for the rest of the cast members. In this class, if one person fails, everybody fails. I am counting on your ability to peer pressure your castmates to succeed. We only have six weeks before opening night including this week, so everyone's presence at rehearsal is important. This is a very small cast, which means that there is no room for skipping out. If anyone misses class for any reason, you must email me at least twelve hours prior to the rehearsal. If you do not, you will fail for the day. If you get three fail days, you fail the class. If you fail the class, everybody fails the class. Any questions?"
The entire cast was silent, and Caroline decided that if compulsion was ever necessary, it would be to compel to the director to change that rule, because it was bullshit.
"All right. Good. We're going to do a cold read-through with no songs, which shouldn't take long since there isn't much talking. After that, we're going to talk about who is coming to which rehearsals. Again, this is a very small cast, and the songs are the heart of the show, and there will be times when you're not needed. I want you all off-book by next week so that we can block the scenes with no music. We'll do a few run-throughs of that, skipping through the songs, and then we'll rehearse music and choreography for three weeks. After that is tech week. Any questions?"
Unsurprisingly, no one asked questions.
"Good. Let's get started."
The next two hours went by quickly, and he let them out early after the cold read through and scheduling, telling them to memorize lines.
"You all take this theatre business rather seriously, don't you?" Kol asked casually as they walked to the car to head back to the apartment.
Caroline felt her eye twitch. "Yes."
"It seems fun, but I don't know why you all seem so concerned with attendan–"
"Kol, theatre is serious fucking business. You will go to all of the rehearsals. You will learn your lines. You will learn your songs. You will try your best, because I swear to god if you ruin this for me I will dagger the fuck out of you, do you understand?"
"You can't dagger me. Using the dagger will kill–"
"I will find a way, and I will do it. Don't push me, Kol."
"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled.
"So, are you going to tell me about your date with Bonnie?"
"She clearly isn't interested."
"Well, to be fair, we knew that."
"She's just very self-righteous. I understand that I'm not a good person, but she isn't willing to see that I happen to have quite a few good qualities."
Caroline sighed. She loved Bonnie, and they'd been best friends for most of their lives, but even she could admit that the other girl was a bit judgy. "Have you tried showing her your good qualities?"
"No, I knew that she hated bad people so I kicked puppies in front of her and stole candy from small children," Kol said sarcastically. "I took her to a flower garden and tried to talk to her about all the ways flowers could be used in magic. I thought it was rather romantic."
"Maybe you should try a date that doesn't focus on how she's a witch. She might think that that's the only reason you like her," Caroline suggested, honking the horn as someone tried to merge into her lane. "Motherfucking shitsucker, learn to drive."
"You all right, darling?" Kol asked slowly, looking at her as though he was contemplating planning his escape to safety.
"Yes. I'm fine," Caroline said through gritted teeth, pulling into the garage complex of their apartment.
XXX
She'd just gotten back from their fourth rehearsal, and she was ready to just sit on her bed and relax with a new television show. Before she could get settled, Klaus's ringtone echoed through her bedroom, and she put her laptop aside to answer her cell phone. "Hey."
"Hello, love."
"How's the scavenger hunt going?"
"I think we have a lead. One of the families had a daughter, but she got pregnant as a teenager and gave the baby up for adoption. Hopefully we'll find her and then the baby, and hopefully that baby will be the doppelganger."
Caroline hummed to show she'd heard. "When do you think you'll find them?"
"Soon. Only a few weeks."
"Good. I miss you."
It was odd how fast they were moving in their relationship, and she sometimes wondered if it was the bond pushing them together (and then pushed the thought away). It felt natural and comfortable and right, and she knew that it wasn't normal to feel so unconcerned with bearing her feelings to him, but she knew that he felt the same with her.
It was equally thrilling as it was terrifying.
"And I, you."
"I got a package today, by the way."
"Oh?" he asked, not even bothering to sound innocent.
"Thanks. It was nice of you to buy me some new bras after you mercilessly ripped my favorite one."
"Of course, love. Do they fit?"
"You're just trying to make me take my clothes off when I'm on the phone with you," she mumbled, not bothering to get up.
"Perhaps," he said, not sounding the least bit apologetic.
She found herself smiling without meaning to. "Well, I did try one on, and it fit, but I'm in my pajamas right now, and therefore in no need of a bra."
"I'm glad."
"That they fit, or the lack of bra?" she teased.
"Both."
His voice had dropped lower in tone, and she could feel the ache starting between her thighs. She couldn't believe that such a cheesy conversation was turning her on so much, and she wondered whether she would ever get tired of him.
"What are you wearing, sweetheart?"
Probably not.
"Just a t-shirt and sleep shorts. You?"
"Still dressed. Just got back to the hotel."
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable with less on?" she asked, trying to keep her voice light and teasing.
"Most likely." She heard the creak of him lying down in bed and couldn't help smiling. "Are you alone right now, sweetheart?"
"Yeah. Kol is out trying to get drunk faster than his body heals him, and Kat is at a night class."
"Good. I want you to undress for me and then lie down on your back."
She felt a shiver run down her spine at the tone of his voice, a sharp stab of arousal hitting her center as she put the phone down to tug off her shirt, throwing it to the side, and slid off her shorts. She got comfortable against the pillows and pulled the phone back to her ear.
"Okay, now what?" she asked, her voice breathy and low.
"I want you to spread your legs for me and let your hands trail down your body."
She moaned as she let her fingers drift across her skin, stroking her stomach and inner thighs, teasing herself.
"Touch yourself, Caroline."
Her breath caught as she ran the tips of her fingers over her clit, her hips jerking up to meet her fingers. She heard the distinctive sound of a zipper and the rustle of clothing, and she let out another breathy sigh, more for Klaus's benefit than hers, smirking when she heard his sharp intake of breath.
"Are you hard for me?"
"Yes."
"Are you touching yourself to the sound of my voice?"
"Yes, sweetheart."
"I'm sure you wish it was my hand wrapped you, don't you? Are you imagining that I'm there with you, Klaus?"
"Yes."
"Tell me what you want me to do for you, Klaus."
"I want you on your knees in front of me with your lips wrapped around my cock."
She let out a small breathy moan, letting her fingers circle her entrance before pushing a finger in, letting her breaths become more ragged. "I want that too. I want you to tangle your fingers in my hair while I take you in my mouth. I want you to watch me suck your cock while I touch myself. I want you to beg me to let you come in my mouth."
"Fuck, Caroline…"
"I want you so much, Klaus," she panted out, pushing two fingers into her heat while she rubbed her clit.
"Are you thinking of me when you fingerfuck yourself?"
"Yes."
"Do you wish it was my cock fucking you instead, sweetheart? I'm sure you do. I'm sure you wish that I was buried inside you right now, my cock filling your tight pussy so perfectly, slamming into you until you scream."
"Klaus, please..."
She heard him groan as he stroked himself, and couldn't help rolling her hips against her hand as she fucked herself, imagining it was Klaus's hand rubbing her clit, Klaus's fingers hooked inside her…
"I'm so close…"
"Come for me, Caroline," he said, his voice low and husky and dripping with sex and desire and she couldn't quite think straight as he told her how gorgeous she must look spread out on her bed fucking herself with her fingers, how much he wished he could see her right now, flushed and panting for him.
She moaned as he breathed all sorts of filthy promises of what he would do to her when he finally got back. He told her how much he wanted to bury his face between her thighs and make her come on his tongue, how perfect she would look bent over in submission as he took her from behind, how much he wanted to watch her face while he fucked her, her legs spread in the air for him.
She felt the tightness in her belly snap abruptly, and she moaned out his name as she rode her fingers through her orgasm, collapsing almost bonelessly on her covers. She knew that Klaus still hadn't finished, and let her breaths stay ragged, her voice thick with lust.
"I want to come around your cock next time. I want you to watch me lick my juices off of it, watch me taste myself before you fuck my lips and come in my mouth."
He groaned her name, and she could tell that he came from the change in his breathing pattern. She laid back, feeling rather pleased with herself.
She was getting the hang of this whole dirty talk thing.
XXX
"Kol, can you get the door?" Katherine called from her bedroom.
"You heard it first. You do it."
"In the time you said that, you could have gotten the door."
"But I didn't. Get the door yourself."
"Oh my god, just one of you let me in," Bonnie said exasperatedly from the other side.
Kol was up in an instant, though he pasted a blank look in his face when he opened the door. "Bonnie."
"Hey. Um, can I talk to you?"
"Yes," he said, not moving aside to let her in, forcing her to stand in the hallway.
He could tell that she was debating moving him aside with magic, but she seemed to realize that it would be counterproductive to a peaceful conversation. "I'm sorry about the other day," she said stiffly.
"Are you?"
She gritted her teeth. "Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Kol."
An innuendo was on the tip of his tongue, but he managed to restrain himself, instead staying silent.
She sighed. "Look. I thought about it, and you're right. I shouldn't uphold the double standard like that. If I accept that my friends are good vampires, then others must exist as well."
She looked like she was being genuine, and he almost smiled when she continued. "That doesn't change the fact that you're not a good vampire," she said slowly. "You don't want to change, and I can't make you change unless you decide to."
"So, you came all the way here to tell me that you've decided not all vampires are evil, and yet you still manage to call me evil," Kol said dryly.
"You didn't let me finish."
"Oh, please do then, darling. Elaborate on what a terrible person I am."
She huffed. "All I was going to say was that if I'm going to be...involved with you, I'll need to accept you for who you are, not for who I want you to be. So, I want to make a deal."
"Do you know what you're getting into when you make a deal with an Original, darling?"
"It's binding," she said dryly.
"Very," he agreed. "So, what's your proposal?"
"I will give you three dates at venues of your choosing, and I will not make assumptions about your past or personality. I will also try not to judge you."
"I love your use of 'try'."
She shrugged. "I'm only human," she said, and he could almost see a hint of a smile on her face.
"What's in it for you, then?"
She bit her lip, looking a bit nervous. "I want complete honesty. I want to get to know you-the real you. No lies, no omissions."
"And?" he asked.
This deal weighed too heavily in his favor. There must be something else she wanted.
"And whether the dates go well or not, I want you to answer my questions about witchcraft, no matter what they are. I want you to teach me. You said you have the most knowledge of magic in the world. Show me."
"Deal," he said immediately.
XXX
"This is the most adorable thing ever," Caroline squealed. "Katherine, you have to see this."
"What?" Katherine grumbled from the other side of the room.
"This, look!"
"You're going to have to come over here. I'm not moving."
Caroline huffed and stood up, carefully cradling her laptop, and sat down beside her roommate, turning the screen towards her. "Look."
Caroline smirked as she watched a small smile fight its way onto Katherine's face. "See? No one can resist the adorableness of a corgi. Literally no one."
"Have you met your mate?"
Caroline huffed. "Don't. It's weird enough that Kol calls him that when he's not around, I don't need you doing it too. Just call him Klaus."
"Whatever," Katherine said, still not turning away from the screen as her eyes followed the corgi jumping down the stairs over and over.
"I think that this is the universe telling us that we should get a dog."
"Are you nuts?"
Caroline pouted, a bit offended. "No. I want a dog. I've always wanted one. I used to be allergic to them, but vampire powers fixed that."
"Don't you have to, you know, feed them? And play with them? And walk them? My Louboutins do not tolerate dirt well."
"We'll take turns!" Caroline said cheerfully.
"Because that worked so well with the chore wheel."
Caroline glared at her. "You don't want a dog?"
Katherine pursed her lips. "I like dogs. I just don't want them to chew on my clothes. Or the furniture. Or pee in my room."
"We'll train it."
"You have an answer to everything, don't you?"
"Duh."
Katherine sighed. "Fine. I'm on board as long as you're the one to bring it up with Kol. And Klaus."
"Fine. What kind do you want?"
They shared a smile.
XXX
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"No. Absolutely not. I do not need a…a mongrel living in my apartment."
"It's my apartment."
"You can't keep pulling the mate card, Caroline. It only works so many times."
Caroline pouted. "I want a dog."
"Sometimes we can't get what we want, darling."
"If Klaus agrees can we get one?"
"No," Kol said, clearly knowing full well that Caroline could get Klaus to agree to pretty much anything.
"Bonnie likes dogs," Caroline sang as a last-ditch effort.
Kol rolled his eyes. "Witches are almost exclusively cat people."
"Not Bonnie."
"It doesn't matter what Bonnie likes or doesn't like. We are not getting a dog."
"There are two things that make hot men infinitely hotter to women of child-bearing age, Kol," Caroline said clinically, trying not to admit to herself that she was basically bribing Kol with sex without actually having the ability to follow through. "Hot men holding babies and hot men holding adorable animals."
"Are you calling me hot?"
She rolled her eyes. "If you've been alive a thousand years and haven't figured it out yet, you're dumber than I thought. I didn't say that it wasn't your only redeeming quality."
"I'm wounded, darling."
"Anyway," she said, interrupting him firmly. "I want a dog. Help a sister out, here?"
"It doesn't go in my room, or sleep in my bed, and I don't have to take care of it," Kol said immediately.
"Done," Caroline said, knowing full well that if the legend that dogs resembled their owners had any truth to it whatsoever, any dog belonging to her and Katherine would do what it damn well wanted, and she had no ability to enforce said condition.
But whatever, he couldn't kill her.
XXX
"No, love."
"Klaus…"
"No."
Caroline looked straight into her webcam and pouted. "Please?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want a dog."
"Well, I do. It's not like you'd be living with it."
"For now. Dogs live quite awhile. Chances are, I'll be living with it at some point."
"Very confident, aren't you?"
"You love it."
She snorted, though inwardly admitted that there was something about his confidence that did get to her. She suspected it was that goddamn alpha male mating instinct that she wasn't even supposed to fucking have.
"I'll make you a deal."
He perked up immediately. "I'm listening."
"You agree to have a dog in the apartment, and I won't get one without asking."
His lips twitched. "That's not really a deal, love. That's more like an ultimatum."
She shrugged. "Tomato, tomato. So, do we have a deal?"
He narrowed his eyes. "Counteroffer: I agree to allow a dog into the apartment, which is technically mine, that I do technically live in, as long as you take care of it."
"All right," Caroline said agreeably, but before she could speak again, he cut her off.
"And," he continued, "I want you to consider what I talked to you about last week."
She flushed. "The wolf thing?"
He smirked. "Is that what we're calling it now?"
Well, in her personal opinion, 'the wolf thing' was much easier to say than, 'taking me from behind with my face in a pillow before marking my skin with your come the night before the full moon because of some stupid alpha male instinct', and she told him so, making him give her a smug smile.
"Does it not appeal to you?" he asked, his eyes raking over her body predatorily as she moved to lie on her stomach, putting a pillow under her arms to cushion them and resting her head down, trying to get more comfortable.
She tried to look nonchalant, but he grinned as a flush crept up her cheeks.
"I didn't say you had to do it. It's up to you, as it always is. I just want you to think about it."
The truth was, she had been thinking about it. A lot. At night. Not that she'd ever say that to him.
Though from the look on his face, he knew exactly where her thoughts were.
"Okay. I'll think about it."
He beamed at her, and she smiled back for a moment before it slid off her face.
"You're not going to do the scary alpha thing to my dog, are you? It needs to feel safe at home."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
XXX
"What's his name?"
"Her name is Buffy."
Katherine's eye twitched.
"After the vampire slayer?" Kol asked, studying the animal in question, only recently up to date with the contemporary pop culture references to vampires.
"That's what I said, which is why her name is Boudicca."
"After the war heroine?" Kol asked slowly, still staring down at the dog.
The fluffy, rather round corgi looked back, her tongue out and tail wagging.
"Ah, yes. Face of a warrior, that one."
"Well what would you name her?"
"Err…I don't know. Biscuit?" he suggested, throwing out the first dog name that came to mind.
"I like mine better," both girls said together before glaring at each other.
They eventually started calling her Bee, since poor little Boudicca-Buffy-Biscuit couldn't figure out which name she was supposed to answer to.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Bee will be featured more heaving in Under My Roof (the drabble companion to this) than this story, but she'll have a cameo every now and then. I hope you liked the phone sex. I don't think I've ever actually written phone sex before, so please tell me how it was! Kennett is getting closer to being a thing, so I hope you guys are enjoying that.
You can catch me on tumblr at thetourguidebarbie for the most up-to-date information on my fics.
Let me know what you think!
Hugs!
-Angie