Chapter 12- Pause

"Thanks..."

I don't like unknowns. Unknowns are inefficient. They make calculations difficult and progress nearly impossible. They're dangerous, too.

'Need to adjust for greater mobility and control.'

Most of the time, I pursue unknowns, make sense out of them, lessen the potential for danger. If the unknown is based in logic, then I figure it out, make life easier for me and my brothers. But certain unknowns are too abstract, too irrational for me to go after. I hate abstract unknowns.

'Have to recheck for weight limitations.'

Tangibles, logical ideas, formulas. Anything unknown in the scientific realm, the world of reason, those I can understand. I even enjoy pursuing those things that I can put numbers to, or that I can see and feel. Sensei taught me about how to deal with the intangibles, of course, taught me that it's necessary to deal with them, but I still prefer my numbers. Like 48 hours, that's how long it's been since that night on Liberty Isle, how long its been since I last slept, how long its been since...

"Don, do you know where Mikey is?"

Mikey usually interrupts me about now. Is he reading his comics again? He's in his room.

"In his room."

Is there some other place that he could possibly be? No, he's only in his room, or bugging me, or teasing Raph, or playing video games. I know those things, even without numbers. Sensei taught me how to deal with intangibles. Sensei's going to stay with me until I come back.

"Do you know where Raph is?"

Raphael doesn't bother me. He's not into numbers. Doesn't like thinking too much about the things I work on. Raph normally makes noise, though, beating on his punching bag. I haven't been listening, but I can't hear it now. Is he on his bike?

"Probably outside."

Outside. Yeah. Raph likes being outside. Makes a lot of noise out there, too. Riding his bike, only quiet when he's working on that bike. The bike... turtle van... shell sled.

'Shell sled. That's what I need.'

I can keep track of my brothers without seeing them. They can do the same for me. No need to worry, no need to write a note.

"Where are you going?"

Going? I'm coming back soon. Not really going anywhere. I'll still be nearby. They'll know where I am. Sensei would want me to make sure, though.

"I'm just going to stay someplace else for a bit. Be back in a few days."

Intangibles aren't always bad. I've encountered five in as many minutes and each has been resolved. Sense would approve of that progress.

'It's secure. Have to move slowly, keep from making sharp turns.'

I'm ready to go, I have everything I need.

"Did you tell either of them about this?"

Tell them? I didn't forget any part of the checklist. April should know that. I ignore the question, it's an intangible I've already considered. Getting Sensei to my destination with me is the priority now. I'm doing my brothers a favor. I remember one time, Mikey said that he wished life had a pause button, like a remote control. He said he wanted to be allowed to take as much time as he wanted to enjoy things, to make hard choices. And now, these things that have happened to all of us. There are difficult decisions related to all of them, but decisions can't be made. Mikey wants to believe none of it really happened, Raph doesn't seem to want to move on from it, and Leo... I don't know what's happening in his head right now. I need to not be still, to not give numbness a chance to catch me. So I'll keep moving, and this way, my brothers can have their pause and take the time they need. When they're ready, Sensei will still be here, and I can keep on doing my work until then.

'I didn't tell them. There's no reason to.'

I can see my destination ahead, and I ease off the throttle. I must have daydreamed on the way, the trip didn't feel as long as it usually does. I slow down gradually, making sure not to disturb Sensei's preservation tank as I pull into Leatherhead's laboratory.