Part II: Chapter 1
The winter of her eighth grade year marked the beginning of a long, dark period for Mei. It'd taken one, icy night, one slip on the road at the wrong moment to lead to her father's death and a downward spiral for her family. Kiku would've made it bearable, but he wasn't there.
Mei was a mess. She sobbed uncontrollably, hardly aware of the preacher's solemn speech and her mother's soft, soothing tones. Everything passed in a watery blur. She knew that her father was in a better place. She knew that one day she'd see him again. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
Later that night she went straight to bed without supper, unable to stand looking at the empty chair at the end of the table. She'd already cried herself out, but she felt as miserable as ever. Her cheeks were raw from wiping her face and her eyes were sore. Suddenly she felt a warm breath of wind and a hand on her shoulder. She didn't have to look to know who it was. For a moment, she felt peace wash over her and she drifted into a calm, dreamless sleep. It would be her last pleasant memory for months to come.
.
Slowly, she was able to pull herself together. Routine helped and though she still felt listless and could hardly bring herself to smile, she lived. But it didn't take long for the loose seams that held her and her family together to snap.
She was the first to notice the change in Yao. At first he'd been angry after their father's death. He'd argued constantly with their mother and refused to leave with them on Sunday mornings to church.
"He doesn't care about us, Mei." He'd said sternly when she begged him to come, if only to keep their family together. "If he does exist, why should I care about, much less love, a god like that?"
After awhile though, his anger faded away and the life seemed to be sucked out of him. He shuffled through the house, his eyes glassy and a heavy, oily smell clinging to his clothes. It wasn't hard for Mei to figure out what the cause was. Then it was her turn to be angry. For so long she'd looked up to her brother. Her brother who protected her and kept peace among his siblings. Who lectured them when they did wrong, but agreed not to say a word to their parents. This wasn't Yao. This was a shell.
.
She confronted him when he seemed somewhat sane. He was lying sprawled out on his unmade bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. He didn't even seem to notice her come in.
"You need to stop." She declared without bothering to elaborate.
He blinked and sat up a little to look at her, his gaze still vacant. "What?"
"Do you think people don't see? Yao, why do you do this to yourself?"
"I'm okay, Mei." He slumped back down on the bed.
"I can't just stand aside and watch you waste away!" Her voice rose and the back of her eyes began to burn.
Yao seemed to return to the real world just long enough to scowl. "Mom goes to church to relieve her suffering and I find my own way to take away the pain. What's so wrong about that?"
"But you're destroying yourself!" She blinked away the tears threatening to spill. She couldn't let herself break down.
"Mom doesn't seem to notice though, does she?" A hint of the old bitterness crept into his voice. Then he sighed and seemed to deflate, rising back to a psychedelic world she couldn't reach. "I'll be fine, Mei. It's my choice to make."
"But-" she stopped herself, realizing that he was no longer listening. She clenched her hands into fists, her knuckles turning white, and spun on her heel and stalked out. She slammed the door behind her, vaguely remembering a time when her mother would've harshly scolded her for doing something like that. Now her mother was rarely home. She worked two shifts a day to earn enough for their family of five. Yao was supposed to be helping their mother support the family, but he'd wasted his earnings on pain relievers. Mei closed her eyes, hoping for anything, a gentle caress or breath of wind, but she felt nothing. He wasn't there.
.
It took another month for her mother to discover the crumbled remains of herbs. Not that Yao did much to hide them. At first she'd been angry and Mei and her younger brothers had watched in silent shock. It was the first time since their father's death that they'd seen her rise out of her silent grief. By then though, Yao was too far gone to listen to their mother's pleadings. She tried everything. She cried and yelled and compromised and begged and cried some more. Mei lost count of the times they argued. But there was only so much that her mother could do. With three more mouths to feed, she couldn't spend all of her time helping someone who was convinced he was fine. Eventually, she told him that if he could afford to buy his own drugs, all of his expenses would come from his own pocket. Their mother never gave up on him, but Yao had long since given up on everything else.
A/N: So I'm posting this a little early since I'll be in Tokyo looking at unis and doing other odds and ends this weekend ^^
I don't know much about drugs (or people who use them for that matter) so I apologize in advance for inconsistencies.
Poor Yao; I was personally starting to like his big brother role... Still haven't decided his fate yet though.
Anyway, enjoy and feel free to leave a review!