Part II: Chapter 2

Mei began to search for Kiku in earnest. She couldn't stand the gray exhaustion of her once exuberant mother and the red-eyed mood swings of her brother. Every day her younger brothers seemed to drift further and further from their home. Eventually it was only Mei who went with their mother to church, though it was mostly out of sympathy and a desperate need to hold onto the tattered memories of a family. She tried everything to find him. She even looked at ways to summon spirits, but she soon decided against it. She had a feeling he would not appreciate her attempting to summon him through dark magic or rituals. She searched all of the places where they'd played together when she was a child. She opened closets at random with the faint hope she'd catch a wispy trail of frosty gray. She looked around fervently with every gust of wind or creaking of the house. Her mother glanced at her anxiously sometimes and her brothers shot her uncomfortable looks, but she began to care less and less.

.

By ninth grade she was almost a completely different girl. She no longer laughed loudly and skipped down the hallways just to bring a smile to someone's face. She no longer wore her flouncing skirts and bright pop colors. She withdrew further and further within herself, avoiding her friends efforts to reach out to her. The one thing that remained the same were her grades. That was the one thing she would not allow herself to lose. She was not going to throw away her future as her brother had.

Despite all this, there were still a few friends who insisted on staying by her. Feliciano was one of them. While everyone else in art class tip toed around her, he always bounded up to her with a sunny smile. Her teacher had been disappointed when her paintings lost their expression, but Feliciano encouraged her not to give up.

"You just have to find the right subject." He assured her. "What is the one thing you find your heart drawn to?"

Mei clenched her jaw and shook her head. "It hurts too much."

"That's what art is for though," Feliciano smiled, his eyes crinkling kindly. "It's not always about creating something beautiful. Art is you- all of the good and the bad."

She thought about that and the next art class she let her hand move on its own accord. She painted the first thing that came to her mind and for the first time in months, the art seemed to flow out of her with a mind of its own.

A smooth, oval face. Soft hair falling just above ancient almond eyes. Lips set into a firm, stern line, but with just enough expression to show a hint of a smile. He was outlined by soft, cool grays and hints of frosty blue. Only his hand, outstretched as if to gently caress her like he used to, radiated with a warm, amber gold.

.

Only when she finally completed the piece did she realize that school had long been dismissed. Her art teacher had wordlessly written a pass for her last two classes and left the room open for her. Feliciano returned to find her staring at the figure before her, willing it to return to life. "Oh" was all he could say upon seeing her work. It was unlike anything she'd done in the past. Mei's artwork had always been made of soft, almost magical strokes and pastel colors, full of a childhood innocence. This painting still used the same strokes, but they were mixed with rough, uneven lines, balanced by gentle, calm grays and blues. The result was something ethereal and mysterious. There was so much emotion laced within the painting that it startled him.

Mei was almost as surprised as he was. She had been convinced that the reason for her anguish was the loss of her father, but she realized it was much more than that. Everything was falling apart and the one person she had thought she could rely on was not there. The truth dawned on her. It was not her father or her family that she missed, but Kiku. What is your heart drawn to?

She broke down and cried. Feliciano wrapped his arms around her silently because he knew there were no assuring words that would make her feel better. But she didn't cry out of grief like he thought. She cried because she was ashamed of the truth.

That night he came. He was sitting silently at the edge of her bed, his dark eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't read, when she sat up with a jolt. A tumult of feelings came at once. Anger, hurt, relief, and joy. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came. He shook his head.

"Don't look for me, Mei." The words hit her like a slap to the face despite his gentle tone. "It is not me who you're looking for."

She frowned slightly. Of course he was the one she was looking for. He stood and took a soundless step towards her. "I am a Watcher, Mei. Nothing more."

He leaned down and her breath caught as she felt his calming presence wash over her. He kissed her softly on the forehead.

She woke with a start. The first rays of dawn filtered through the blinds. She pulled the covers closer while silent tears stained her pillow.

A/N: I hope I was able to make this feel realistic enough... I haven't written angst in awhile (I blame all those fluffy one-shots I've been writing) Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! It's really encouraging ^^

On a completely random note, Feli is just so sweet! I feel like he and Mei would get along really well haha. You'll be seeing more of him in the future:)
I might be posting two chapters instead of one this week since the next one is very short and more a filler than anything~