Soft blue eyes peered cautiously at her surroundings from under the hood before she raised a pale hand up to push the dark garment away from her head. Once free, she shook her head until her black locks sat in a somewhat disheveled mess about her shoulders.
At that moment two things occupied her mind. The first was the fact that the moment she took in a breath her airways filled with cigar smoke, alcohol fumes and sweat. This alone made her regret the decision not to go straight back to the estate. How anyone could enjoy spending hours at a time in a place such as The Hanged Man was beyond her. It was noisy and blanketed with smoke, her lungs felt as if they were going to combust if she didn't pass out from lack of oxygen first. She couldn't get much further away from the quiet circle libraries if she tried.
The second was the look, no the glare, Hawke had given her out in the alley. The woman was clearly furious and had all but demanded they return to The Hanged Man. Jayde took in a deep breath, it was hard enough always feeling as if she was on the outside of Hawke's little group without having her angry as well. Her head was already thumping after spending the day at Anders clinic assisting him. No matter how many people they healed there was always another right behind who needed help, it was never ending but at the same time rewarding in its own way. She wondered how he ever managed to keep up with the demand on his own when the two of them had struggled to keep up. Nevertheless after a grueling day facing her cousins temper was not something one looked forward to.
"Well you look about as exhausted as I feel. Thank you for your help today." Anders said as he came to a stop in front of her.
Jayde offered him smile and a nod, "I owe you one remember?"
He was quick to shake his head, "Don't ever feel that you have to work with me because I helped you. I did that because I wanted to."
"I know. I want to help, at least until I find work." She regarded him carefully for a moment, "Anders.. My name wasn't the only one on that list."
"I know. I promise they are trying to get the others out. After your escape security has been tightened, right now no one is getting in or out of there. Not even the Templars." His expression was serious and he looked as concerned as she felt.
"So they are going to die because of me?" Jayde shook her head and bit her lower lip. Some of her closest friends had been on that list and because of her selfishness they would have to face what she had just barely escaped. "If I had just waited-"
Anders cut her off quickly, "They still have time. You didn't. None of this was your fault."
As she looked away from Anders her eyes met a set of angry looking bright blue eyes. She had almost forgotten about Hawke for a moment but she was fast being reminded as her cousin was storming in her direction. Before she even had a chance to excuse herself, fingers gripped her arm tightly and pulled her in the direction of Varric's room.
As Hawke closed the door firmly behind them, she suddenly wished she had the ability to shrink to the size of a mouse. "Are you purposely trying to bring the Templars down on us?!" Hawke demanded.
Jayde carefully shook her head but remained quiet. Her heart was pounding so hard that it almost drowned out Hawke's angry words. Even if she could manage to find her voice she was certain whatever she did say would only give her cousin more ammo for her fury.
"You do realise that you aren't the only mage amongst us that we need to worry about, right?" Hawke spat out with a raised voice.
Jayde nodded this time in response, her eyes widened involuntarily as she took a step backwards. "I would never wish any harm on Bethany. You know that."
"Then what in the Makers name were you thinking?" Hawke yelled in frustration.
Neither of them noticed the door open quietly or Anders closing it again behind him.
"I was thinking that arse of a Templar needed something shoved up his!" Jayde finally said with a raised voice of her own and a determined set to her jaw that conflicted with the fear in her eyes.
Hawke went silent for a moment as she stood her ground watching her. After a brief pause, which to Jayde seemed to stretch out forever, a look of humor crept into her eyes and then she was laughing.
She blinked in confusion as Hawke was wracked by fits of giggles.
"Now you're really starting to sound more like a Hawke then an Amell," Hawke gasped between giggles.
Jayde smiled and raised both of her eyebrows, "Well just look who has been teaching me."
"He would have deserved it too. He really was an arse." Hawke said as the laughter finally subsided. "I'll be damned if I am going to lose Bethany to those bastards though."
Jayde let out a small sigh as she looked away from Hawke, "I can't be certain Cullen didn't see me. My hood did slip a little. Maybe it would be best if I didn't stay at the estate for a while?"
"You can stay at the clinic, it shouldn't be too hard to make up an extra bed," Anders finally spoke up from near the closed door. He was leaning against the wall with his arms folded, and both of the women jumped when his voice broke into their conversation.
Hawkes forehead wrinkled into a frown almost instantly. "What about the mansion? Fenris has more than enough space," she blurted out quickly.
"I don't think that is going to work," Jayde replied carefully. "He hates mages."
"What about Is-" Hawke begun before very quickly being cut short.
"Don't even think about mentioning Isabela!" Jayde exclaimed. There was no way she was going to be stuck in a small room dealing with Isabela and her latest conquests. All night, every night.
"Fine. Suit yourselves then," Hawke growled before ejecting herself from Varric's room with her arms folded and a dark cloud hanging over her head.
Anders was looking in the direction Hawke had just gone with a bewildered expression, "What is with her lately? I swear she has more mood swings than a pack of hungry Mabari."
Jayde pressed her lips together and remained quiet. How was it even possible Anders was about the only one who didn't see it? She wasn't about to be the one to tell him, she was hardly one to be giving anyone relationship advice.
"I am going to head back to the estate and pick up a few things. I'll see you at the clinic later." She reached for her hood and slipped it back up over her head.
"You're not staying for Wicked Grace?" He asked after her.
Jayde paused in the doorway and shook her head, before speaking quietly. "I'm not much of a player anyway, besides I prefer the quiet."
"I understand. It takes everyone a while to get used to being out of the circle, especially those who were taken so young." His tone was filled with the compassion of both a healer and a friend. She was just grateful at least one person understood some of what she was going through. Although they had not been best friends, or even close friends during their shared time in Kinloch Hold. Anders had been a familiar face in a sea of strangers when she had first arrived in Kirkwall.
Once she was outside The Hanged Man in the quiet and away from the groping hands of drunken patrons, she was finally able to relax a little. A weary sigh escaped her lips. The night had certainly not gone as she had expected. She missed the quiet, mostly predictable circle life. Everything outside was chaotic and seemed to thrive on being unpredictable. As if to prove her thoughts right, a hand slipped over her mouth covering it completely. She found herself being dragged backwards into the shadows of the closest building.