The police car was clean, and smelled like it had been vacuumed. Valkyrie wasn't sure how she could label a smell as 'recently vacuumed', but she did, and that was that. The scent reminded her of Saturday afternoons when she was a child - Stephanie, as she had been then, would clean the sink, her mother would vacuum, and her father would polish the windows, pulling faces at her through the glass from the outside and making her laugh.
She briefly wondered how her parents were faring without their daughter, only a carbon copy.
They probably hadn't noticed.
She turned around to wave at Farmer Joe, who glared as the car pulled away from the hill. Truthfully, she had no idea how she and Skulduggery were going to get out of this one, but as long as nobody suddenly turned into a ninja or fell from the sky, she reckoned they'd be fine. They'd faced much, much worse than a few policemen and Farmer Joe.
The car headed left from Farmer Joe's property, and only Officer Midwood's coughing broke the silence. Valkyrie wanted to talk to Skulduggery, maybe see if he had any more cookies, but she didn't dare, knowing the police officers would be hanging onto her every word. Eventually, the complaining in her stomach got the better of her, and she poked the skeleton's arm.
"Cookies?" she mouthed.
He shrugged back at her. "Sorry, fresh out," he mouthed back. Valkyrie crinkled her nose in disappointment, and her stomach rumbled.
"What's that?" asked Officer Harvey, over Midwood's coughing fit.
"I was just asking if Detective Inspector Me had any food," Valkyrie explained. Not a total lie.
"And I was just telling Detective Her that no, I don't," Skulduggery answered, flashing a smile. He turned to Valkyrie. Façade, he mouthed, and her eyes widened in alarm. If Skulduggery's human face slipped away, they'd have a huge problem on their hands. When average mortals caught sight of magic, it didn't take much for the mages in PR to come and change their minds. Police officers were a different matter. As a rule, they were more perceptive, more alert, and more suspicious of being ushered around by authority. Valkyrie had no doubt that Geoffrey Scrutinous could convince the officers that they hadn't seen anything, but getting the officers to meet with him would be a bigger issue.
Conclusion? The mortal police could not be allowed to see through Skulduggery's disguise.
Skulduggery discreetly turned away and began winding his scarf around his face, leaving no gaps - a practised art. Valkyrie knew the policemen would have had some training related to ploys, so she tried to be as convincing as possible in her distraction.
"Is there anything to eat in this car? I'm half-starved. We couldn't stop at a diner somewhere, could we? I haven't seen any McDonalds, but there must be food somewhere, right? I don't suppose any of you carry mints or anything with you -"
"I have mint chewing gum," offered Officer Harvey. Valkyrie reached out gratefully, wishing Skulduggery had more cookies. The well-dressed policeman drove in silence, ignoring them all, and Officer Midwood continued to cough. It was getting a little worrying.
Skulduggery, equipped with sunglasses, scarf, and hat, nodded to Valkyrie, who sat back and chewed on her gum. Her stomach grumbled loudly, and she could just feel Skulduggery's smirk.
It took them about 20 minutes to reach the police station. They said they couldn't give Valkyrie anything to eat without identification, but someone fetched her a plastic cup of water, which stilled the gnawing in her stomach. Skulduggery accepted water too, but he tipped his into Valkyrie's empty cup. She downed the extra water and scrunched the cup in her hand, relishing the feel of splintering plastic in her fist. Just one of her small violent tendencies.
Valkyrie scanned the room for a bin. She and Skulduggery were in something akin to the lobby of the police station. They weren't guarded, exactly, but people milled around the room. It would be impossible to get up and leave through the door.
Which leaves the window.