Zack followed Sephiroth's advice and let Cloud be for a few days, texting him a week after they'd returned about plans to eat dinner together. The blond cadet ignored his message, and the next, and the next, refusing to show up to their usual training sessions until Zack was losing sleep over how irritated he was and even his colleagues had noticed a change in his cheerful demeanor. True to his promise, Zack didn't pull Cloud out of class, but he watched him, hoping for a moment when the blonde was alone. It didn't come, so he took to waiting outside Cloud's classroom one day, consequences be damned.

Cloud was the third one out of the room when the bell rang and his eyes quickly found Zack's, but he ducked down a hallway without a greeting, and Zack was so stunned he didn't follow. He is avoiding me, the SOLDIER thought with dread. What did I do? He'd expected the anger that flared up in his belly, but even stronger and unanticipated was the dull feeling of hurt that gnawed at his belly.

For weeks, Cloud avoided him and Zack never saw him alone, almost as though the boy was purposefully surrounding himself with his peers, no matter how much they seemed to dislike him.

"You're acting like a child, Zackary," Sephiroth told him one day as he sulked in his office.

"A child? Me?" Zack snapped. "He's the one acting like a child!"

"He is a child."

That shut Zack up for a minute. "He's seventeen," he said finally.

"Yes. Legally an adult, but you of all people should know that seventeen-year-olds are still children." Sephiroth bent his head over his desk.

"He's an adolescent. It's different," Zack hedged.

"If you say so. Why don't you just go talk to him, Zack?"

"Don't you think I haven't tried that? The only thing I haven't done is flat-out order him to shut up and listen to me, but I know that would piss him off more."

"You've been sulking for weeks. It's irritating."

"Well excuse me," Zack spat furiously, rage building in his temples and making his head ache. "Excuse me for having emotions and being a person who experiences hurt and heartbreak, unlike you, Sephiroth!" He stormed out of the office, leaving the general behind at his desk. Sephiroth's jaw tightened imperceptibly and his eyes clouded a little with hurt, but he continued working, posture stiff.

Zack stalked past the practice training rooms, fuming. He passed a few occupied ones before grinding to a halt outside Training Room E. There was only one person inside. One person with hair that looked like a chocobo chick. Zack slipped into the room, closing the heavy door silently behind him.

Cloud was drilling passes with his sword, sweating buckets and panting like he'd run ten miles. He was wearing his fatigues and undershirt, like they used to wear while sparring. His arms flexed as he moved through pass after pass, and after a minute of watching with remembered fondness, Zack finally spoke.

"Your footing's still off."

Cloud spun around, dropping the sword. Zack smiled at him, a little sadly, walking forward to stand in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked, avoiding his eyes as he wiped sweat from his brow.

Zack felt his anger return with a surge. "Oh, I don't know, maybe I'm just wondering if you'll ever look at me again. What the fuck, Cloud? You don't answer my calls, you run away from me, and you give no explanation for it!"

Cloud looked up, his blue eyes blazing, and shoved Zack hard in the chest. It caught the SOLDIER so off guard that he actually stumbled back, eyes wide. Cloud came at him again with high kick and Zack caught it, knocking him back.

"You want to fight?" the SOLDIER growled, pulling off his armor and throwing it down. All his frustration and anger from the past few weeks was boiling over, exploding, and he tried to calm it down, knowing how dangerous it could be. "Fine, we'll fucking fight. Lay it on me, Strife."

He could have easily subdued the cadet, but Cloud's blazing eyes and rough, wild movements suggested he needed this, so with an effort, Zack scaled his own strength down, letting Cloud punch and kick him and offering retaliating blows of his own that helped his anger drain a little. He bloodied the boy's nose with an elbow strike and Cloud headbutted him hard in the mouth, splitting his lip. Zack spit out a mouthful of blood and leapt on the cadet, grabbing him in a headlock. Cloud broke it easily, just as Zack had shown him months ago, then turned halfway and drove a fist into the older man's jaw, making him stagger a little. Zack grunted with pain, wondering if he'd lowered his strength too much; Cloud had clearly improved a bit.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Zack asked as they wrestled, wincing when a well-aimed kick to his knee made contact. He flipped the boy over his hip, forcing him to land hard on his back and knocking the wind out of him. The blonde gulped for air, scrambling to his feet.

"You asshole," Cloud panted, going for another headbutt.

"See, I'm not really clear on that," Zack gritted. "Because really, you're the one who's been the asshole." He punctuated the words with a shove, taking another hit to his already sore lip. "Okay, that's enough! I'm sick of this." He seized Cloud by the arms and slammed him into the wall, his grip iron while the younger boy struggled fruitlessly. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

For several moments Cloud glared up at him silently, his pretty blue eyes sharp and hard as chips of flint. Then something miniscule shifted in his face and Zack watched in what was almost fascination as his bottom lip quivered slightly and his eyes filled with tears. At the sight, Zack's anger drained out of him, faster than water in a sieve.

"Cloud," Zack started, his voice gentle now, his hands slackening on the boy's arms. "Tell me what I did wrong, please."

"You died!" Cloud cried. "You're my friend, my only friend, and you died!" His hands came up, fisting in Zack's undershirt before giving a sharp shove. Tears poured down his cheeks, splashing onto the training room floor, and between sobs he choked out, "You died and left me all alone!"

Zack caught him in his strong arms and sank to the training room floor, pulling Cloud with him. The boy pressed his face into Zack's chest and sobbed, his arms coming up to clutch at the SOLDIER's back, twisting the thin fabric of his shirt in his hands. Zack pulled him awkwardly into his lap, hugging him tightly and rocking slightly.

"I didn't, I'm fine, you saved me, Cloud, look, I'm all right, everything's fine…" he babbled, hardly hearing what he was saying. "Baby, please, don't cry, see, I'm right here, I'm not dead, I'm right here, you're not alone, you'll never be alone, I'll always be here." Zack took Cloud's tearstained face in his hands, tipping their foreheads together and closing his eyes. He was surprised and somewhat embarrassed to feel his own eyes prickle and his throat tighten.

Cloud gave several more soft, hiccupping sobs, his shoulders shaking, and heard Zack's breath hitch a little. He looked up as Zack's hands tightened on his face and saw that the SOLDIER's eyes were squeezed shut, tears glistening on his dark lashes. Cloud reached up, winding his arms around Zack's neck.

Zack felt the boy's light touch but kept his eyes shut, breathing deeply, trying to calm down. He was about to open his eyes so they could talk about this, and then Cloud was kissing him, his lips soft and wet and warm, and Zack gasped a little against his mouth before kissing him back hungrily, their lips slipping against each other, salty and slick, and it was clumsy and sweet and perfect. His hands slipped down from Cloud's wet cheeks to the boy's hips, closing tight and anchoring him against his body. Their chests pressed together and he felt Cloud's heart slamming against his ribs, beating in time with his own as they kissed. Zack felt a tentative touch of Cloud's tongue against his lips and groaned deep in his throat, opening his mouth to let him in. Their tongues stroked together, and Zack tasted the metallic tang of blood from his split lip underneath Cloud's sweetness. The wound was stinging but he ignored it, pulling Cloud against him more tightly, feeling fire ignite in his belly as the boy shifted a little, grinding his hips down.

Zack moaned, pulling his lips free and arching a little as the fire spread, and Cloud was moaning too, panting and gasping as he squirmed against the SOLDIER. Zack was painfully hard, and it felt so good to finally have Cloud in his arms, rubbing against him, the pressure in his groin growing and growing, and there was stiffness in the boy's pants as well; he could feel it heavy and hard against his hip.

"Wait," Zack gasped, trying to collect himself. It took all of his strength and willpower push Cloud back a little. "Stop, just let me—"

"Oh, fuck," Cloud breathed, freezing at the sound of his voice and pulling free, scrambling to his feet. "Gods, Zack, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—" He backed away, turning to run for the doors.

"No, wait!" Zack cried, jumping to his feet as well, but Cloud didn't stop, only ran faster. "Stop!" Zack thundered right as he reached the doors and Cloud jerked to a halt with ingrained reflex, his hand on the door handle. He turned, and Zack was a bit taken aback to see that, though panting and disheveled, his face was white with fear, eyes still red-rimmed from crying. He lowered his voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go all…commandery. I just…please, can't we talk about this?"

Cloud looked down, biting kiss-bruised lips. "Talk about what, Zack? I'm not stupid enough to hope…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

Zack stepped a little closer. "In case you didn't notice, Spike, I was harder than a rock back there. I think it's safe to say I liked it." The words came out in a rush and he fell silent, not knowing what else to say, cheeks burning. Cloud looked up at him, a little shyly.

"I…I just…I thought you liked girls," he blurted out, turning red as well.

Zack laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "Well, I do. I just…also like guys."

"And you…like me too?"

Zack gave a little sigh and leaned against one of the walls, sliding down to sit on the ground. After a minute, Cloud joined him, close but not touching. The boy's cheeks were still red and he had his arms wrapped around his knees, which were drawn up tight to his chest. "It's…complicated," Zack said finally, looking at his hands. "I do like you…a lot."

"But?" Cloud prompted, looking forlorn.

"But…I'm your superior. It's not against regulations, per se, but other people would make your life hell if they knew. I'm not going to do that to you."

"They already make my life hell," Cloud pointed out. He couldn't quite believe he was in a practice training room trying to convince his superior to have a relationship with him. He was still dizzy from their kiss and briefly wondered if he was making all this up in his head in some obscure fantasy.

Zack winced. "Trust me, it'd be worse. And…"

"You can get court-martialed," Cloud said in a low voice.

Zack leaned his head back against the wall with a heavy sigh. "Yeah." He sat up a bit. "Wait, how'd you know that?"

Cloud rested his chin on one knee, still not looking at Zack. "That night, in the Nibel mountains…Ryan…well, he threatened me."

"What?"

"He said if I didn't…you know, do stuff with him, then he'd make it so you were court-martialed for coercion."

Zack grabbed his arm in a bruising grip, forcing Cloud to look at him. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

Cloud scoffed. "Can you honestly say you would tell anyone if you were in my shoes? I'm not a tattletale, and I'm used to being bullied. I could have dealt with it. Anyways," the blond continued, "it doesn't matter now. He's dead." He looked down. "I feel awful about how glad I feel."

Zack loosened his grip on Cloud's arm when he saw the red marks from his fingers pressing into the soft flesh and sat back again with a sigh. "People like Ryan are always going to exist," he told Cloud. "And I can guarantee he's not the only one who would make a threat like that. I'm sorry he's dead, but not sorry he's silenced." Cloud noticed a tightness around Zack's mouth that suggested he felt more strongly than he was letting on, but the blonde kept quiet about it.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked finally, when Zack had been silent for a while. "The consequences suck for both of us, but they suck harder for you."

Zack groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I hate my rank sometimes," he said through his fingers, and Cloud smiled, relieved that the older man was sounding like himself again. "I don't know what to do. You're my friend, one of the best I've ever had besides Seph, but…" He dropped his hands and looked at Cloud. "It's been a hell of a long time since I've felt this way about anyone." The admission made Cloud blush, and Zack grinned at him, scooting closer and wrapping arm around his shoulders, ruffling his hair with his free hand. "Aww, Chocobo-head, you're way too cute when you blush."

Cloud buried his hot face in Zack's chest, muttering, "Shut up about the chocobo thing already."

"No way! You'll be a Chocobo-head until you die." Zack's hand on his head settled into stroking rather than ruffling, raking through the sweat-soaked spikes.

"Zack," Cloud reminded him.

"Sorry," the SOLDIER groaned, letting him go. "You're right. No touching in public. At least not anything more than we used to do."

Cloud checked the time on his phone. "I have to go unless I want to get locked out of the barracks," he said regretfully, getting to his feet.

"Okay," Zack said easily. "You all right with picking up our usual training sessions again?"

Cloud nodded. "I'm sorry…about…you know, these past few weeks." He looked down. "I just…I couldn't deal with what it was like, having to bring you back like that. I thought it would be easier to just not see you." Soft lips landed on his again in a brief but sweet kiss, Zack's fingers brushing against his cheek, feather-soft.

"It's all right. We'll talk more later, okay? Go back and go to bed. I need to go apologize to Sephiroth anyways. I kinda took my anger out on him." Zack tugged his SOLDIER armor on again and Cloud straightened his uniform before they parted ways with a few lingering touches.

Zack made his way to Sephiroth's office, pausing outside the door to lean against the wall and try to process everything that had just happened. He bit his lip in a grin and covered his face with his hands, shaking his head like a love-struck teenager.

Sephiroth was decidedly unamused when Zack burst into his office. Once again, the SOLDIER had forgotten his strength, and the door had splintered against the wall, part of it hanging off the wall, dangling there sadly. The general glared, still stung from his friend's previous comments and now more incensed by the destruction of his door.

"Sorry, Seph," Zack said, wincing as he looked at the mangled door.

"It's fine," the general said stiffly, not looking at him.

"Not just about the door," the SOLDIER continued. "I…I said some really bad shit earlier. It wasn't true and it wasn't nice, and I'm sorry."

Sephiroth merely nodded, but Zack saw how his shoulders drained of tension and knew how relieved his friend felt. "Did you patch things up with Strife?" the general asked.

Zack grinned, hoisting himself up to sit on the desk despite Sephiroth's protestations. "I did."

Sephiroth looked closely at him. "Did he do that?"

Zack fingered the cut on his lip. "Let's just say he had some issues to work out." He swung his legs a little, trying to decide if he wanted to tell Sephiroth everything that had happened, but decided against it. Sephiroth's sense of duty was strong, and Zack didn't feel like getting a lecture right then. He hopped off the desk. "I'm gonna go home. I just wanted to say sorry."

Sephiroth waved him away, hiding a small smile, and Zack returned to his quarters, stripping down and getting into bed. Already he missed the feeling of Cloud's body against his, and his bed felt cold and lonely, so he wrapped his arms around one of his pillows, the comforting bulk of it enough to simulate a body. Zack slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, his dreams full of pretty blue eyes.