I returned to consciousness feeling like someone in a wet rubber glove was poking me in the face. I growled something that hopefully sounded like "stop that" and tried to get to a comfortable position. I didn't want to wake up, not yet.
There was a sound like a mop near me and the wet rubber glove poked my hand this time. I sighed. It was time to wake up and stop these shenanigans.
I stretched myself, eyes still closed, happy with the warm sun that I felt in my face. Then I opened the eyes and screamed the air out of my lungs because there was an unnamable mound of protoplasmic bubbles staring me.
Sorry, professor, sooorry. The thing whined in a familiar voice.
Just then the situation fell on my head. I remembered everything and my mood fell to the floor. Here was I hoping that everything was a weird dream! I looked at myself and frowned.
Wait, why am I in my normal clothes? Who changed me from the winter gear?
I don't know, you were already like that when we carried you out of the plane. Linus said, getting uncomfortably close to me. You slept for a good while. I watched you to keep you safe. I got those things out of you. They are tasty!
The "things" he showed me before swallowing them in his grayish body were ants. That explained why I felt him poking me.
Oh, look, another one!
He projected a little tentacle to catch an ant in my leg, like a blasphemous frog. To say it was unnerving is a euphemism.
Stop doing that. You are invading my personal space. I said, trying to see where the others were.
What's a 'personal space'?
This question just explained lots of things.
This means 'don't get too close to me, it makes me nervous'.
When it's too close? He asked, still too close.
If I can touch you with my arms or my legs without making an effort, you are too close.
The shoggoth pointed about a dozen eyes to me, attentively. I could see the careful calculations that his mind was doing. He moved away from me inch by inch until he settled in a more appropriate distance.
Like this?
Good. And that's how I taught an amorphous horror the concept of 'personal space'. I wonder how many problems could be avoided by this simple measure. Where are the others?
Oh, they are right there. His body moved towards the plane and all his eyes looked at it. I could see smoke coming from behind it, contrasting with the bright blue sky. The captain went hunting, but he is back.
Uh. Weird.
Do you mean Van Helsing?
Can I call him this way?
Why couldn't you?
I don't know. In doubt, you stick to the titles, right?
I haven't stopped to think about it. Everyone would call me "professor", but I was so used to this that I haven't thought that the others could think that it was part of my name or an honorific worth of so much politeness.
Just Dyer is right for me. You can call Van Helsing by his name, too, I've been doing that since we met. He hasn't even bothered to tell me his rank in military, if I remember well.
You humans have so many names, it's confusing.
I laughed. It was easier to feel optimistic when you were in a bright ravine instead of a frozen wasteland. We reached the others in no time. They were around a fire, in which a deer was roasting. The two Elder Things… I mean, Elder People gosh I'll never get used to this were eating it with gusto.
Good afternoon, professor! Van Helsing greeted, happily. Better?
The two bulky star-headed aliens glared Linus, who shrunk behind me. I pitied him for a minute and motioned him to follow me. We proceeded to eat and waste some small talk.
Where are we? I voiced my main question. Are we back home?
No, sorry. Van Helsing shrugged. We are in Lower Dreamlands, outskirts of Ilek-Vad.
Why are we here?
The king of Ilek-Vad asked me to bring the Elder Ones to speak to him, and he will tip us in convenient portals back to the Waking World. He knows the Dreamlands with the palms of his hands. Which brings us the question: where do you want to return to? I mean, I know a couple of portals, but they end in Britain or in the Black Forest. Professor Dyer will want to return to Arkham, obviously, but what about you three?
I could see that none of them had thought much about that. Tilili "braided" her tentacles in a peculiar way and let out a low-pitched whistle, while her companion haven't moved a muscle.
I haven't thought much about that, to be honest, she said. I don't even know if we have a place to go. I guess that what Telili and I need right now is a place in which we can rest and research what happened to our people and decide in peace what will be of our future.
A quiet and intellectual place, you say? Van Helsing asked, smiling. Like a small university, perhaps?
I guess so?
Waaaaait.
Or maybe you would want to stay in the Dreamlands. You have been here since forever, of course.
I don't know, if everything you said about this place is true, it doesn't strike me as much advanced, in technology or knowledge.
Think about it. The red-headed pilot crossed his legs, calmly. Maybe you will change your mind after talking to the king, who knows. And you, Linus?
M-Me? Up to this point, the proto-shoggoth was trying its best to stay hidden from view and from conversation. What about me?
What are your plans? Do you want me to fly you back home? I kind of assumed that you would be left behind, it wasn't my intention to kidnap you.
He was silent and all of his eyes wandered in different directions. I don't know… It's not safe for me to return. My people will want to know where I was during my disappearance, and my return would mean that a newborn would have to be eaten. And there are so many things to see… I mean, look at this sky! So bright, so different of what I'm used to see… And all of this animals and a whole society of humans to discover… But at the same time, I think that no one would like me… Where could I live?
You can always stay with me, of course. Van Helsing shrugged. We have to learn how to disguise you, of course, but hey, I know some glamour spells, we may find one to you.
Linus closed his eyes and whistled in happiness. Poor thing.
I know one. Tilili said. But I don't think it will work to amorphous creatures. You need a somewhat consistent shape for it to work, or you will still look alien to people. Let me demonstrate.
She waved her tentacles rhythmically, while chanting something. There was a lightless flash, if I may express it this way, and I couldn't believe it. Instead of her usual plant-like look, Tilili was sporting a very decent human shape. She was an albino woman, with a yellowish hair in a vaguely star shape and red eyes. Her dress was grey, in the same color of her original skin.
"How am I, professor?", she asked me, smiling.
"Are you… talking?"
"Not really, it's the spell that makes it look like I'm talking. Is my semblance correct?"
"Y-Yes, you look, hm, good."
Remember, brain, she is a millions-year-old alien.
Tilili smiled, stepped back from us and, without warning, sprouted two big fan-like wings. My brain stopped acting funny.
"See?", she said, making the wings disappear again. "The spell doesn't take well sudden changes of shape, and our ball of protoplasm here does that all the time. I guess I'll keep the spell working on me, though. If we are going to visit a human city, it may be wise keep a human shape. You should change, too, Telili."
He grunted something and did the same waving of tentacles. After a little while, we had a tall albino man, with the same curious star shape of the hair and red eyes. His face was immovable, so you couldn't tell what he was thinking.
"Pretty passable", her wife said, approvingly. "This way, we can blend in."
He shook his head.
"What do you mean you won't go with us?", Tilili demanded.
His eyes pointed to the plane. She understood.
"Well, yes, we will need to keep the plane ready to fly, in case of a sudden escapade."
"Escapade? We are just going to make a social visit", I complained.
Everyone looked at me sardonically, but come on. One has to be optimistic.
We didn't have troubles to enter Ilek-Vad. Since Telili refused to go with us, and he didn't want to be with Linus, either, Van Helsing stuffed the slimy guy in a big backpack and brought him with us.
The city gave me the same pleasant feeling that a good dream leaves on us, of something that was, at the same time, familiar and slightly exotic. It reminded me of Arkham's oldest streets, with a dash of old England e other elements that I couldn't recognize, but looked vaguely Egyptian.
It took my breath away when we crossed part of the city and could see the sea. Not only it had a beautiful color between blue, purple and pink, but the cliffs over which the city was lain were made of glass. Glass! Just… What kind of geological oddity would have made it even possible… What…
I had to be reminded not to question the Dreamlands too much, but glass cliffs! This is simply too outrageous to go unquestioned!
The palace was atop the highest hill and we reached it surprisingly quick (it's a land that runs on dream logic, I keep telling to myself, stop trying to make sense). Exuberant guards let us in and escorted us to the throne room. I was happy and unaware up to this point. What danger could a far away king pose, anyway?
Except that the king in the throne was Carter. Freaking Randolph Carter.
Before I could hide from him, Carter got up all shining.
"Bill! For the Earth Gods, I never thought that I would see a friend here! It's been so long since I last talked with an acquaintance from Arkham!"
Drats!
"Hm. Hi, Carter."
Now, don't think that I'm a misanthrope who doesn't like to meet old friends. Far from that. It's just that I knew Carter at a time in which he was depressed for not being able to dream anymore. He used to have very vivid lucid dreams in which he could be the hero he wasn't in the "waking world". After he lost his ability to have those dreams, Carter would talk for hours about his past dreams and experiences. I wasn't prepared to hear for countless hours (or whatever time we had in the Dreamlands) of his dreams within dreams. I was not even sure if I wanted to know how he became a king, but I knew that I HAD to endure it to get back home. Darn it.
"You know what you should do to win a man, sir!", Carter yelled to Van Helsing. "You promised me to let me talk with beings from forgotten eons, so we could learn from each other, and now you bring me what my heart desired the most: a breeze from home! I know that all the people that I knew in the Walking World will die long before I do, so I must take these opportunities to talk to them for all they are worth!"
"I can relate to the feeling" There was a hint of melancholy in Van Helsing's voice. "Our rescue was successful, and we saved the two Elder Ones from their prison. One of them wanted to be left behind in our camp, the other is that fine young lady that you see here."
"Oh! OH!" Carter clapped his hands happily. "Illusion spell, I presume."
"Yes, Your Majesty." She curtsied in an old-fashioned way. "I may reveal my true form to you, if you wish."
"It would be most kind of you", he answered. "But I have manners. Let's do a dinner in your honor, so we can delight ourselves and tell stories. Then, we can have business. Just give me a moment to talk to my servants."
The room emptied quickly. I assumed that at least the guards would stay, but even they had their share of orders. After everyone went out, Van Helsing coughed discreetly.
"Your Majesty will excuse me…"
"No, please, when the Dreamlanders are out here, please call me just Carter. I'm their king, not yours."
"…Right. Well, we have another companion. I couldn't show him before because it would spook your subjects. He followed us and we kind of let him tag along. He's harmless and well-educated."
"By all means, show him!" There was a certain boyishness in Carter's mannerisms that contrasted deeply with his white hair and seasoned face.
Van Helsing opened his backpack and put it in his lap. Linus used a small tentacle with an eye to peek outside. When he saw Carter, he retreated quickly.
"What was that?" Carter was understandably shocked.
"Oh, just some sentient goo that we found while looking for Tilili and Telili", I explained. "Its name is unpronounceable, so we call it Linus."
While I was enlightening him, Van Helsing was dealing with Linus in our minds.
Oooo, another human! Can I talk to him?
I'm afraid you can't Van Helsing apologized. He isn't in my mental circuit, so he can't 'hear' your telepathy, and you can't 'hear' him either. Unless you know how to project your telepathy to others, like Tilili and Telili?
I have no idea on how to do this, sorry. But I'll make my best to learn.
Well, then I can be an interpreter between you two until you can do it for yourself.
A king is a human leader, right? Tell him I'm honored to know him, and that I plead with him to have mercy on us.
Mercy? Why?
So he won't eat us, of course.
Oh Jesus.
Human kings don't eat their subjects. I explained, while Van Helsing started to talk to the king. And Carter was my friend back on the Waking World.
You are friends with a leader? You must be pretty important!
I laughed mentally. No, in the Waking World, he was my teacher. He isn't anything close to a king there. Or wasn't, before he disappeared from there. At least, now I know where he is.
At this point, Carter started firing questions about just everything and he kept everyone busy for a while. I also learned that he was in the Dreamlands due to a "magical mishap". Somehow, he managed to become lost in time and end up entering in time loops every time he tries to get back to Earth. After his last try, which resulted in the death of a man, he decided not to bother with returning anymore.
We talked so much that I started to feel dizzy and, yet, I had this persistent sensation that time wouldn't pass. After an eternity plus five hours, servants in exquisite clothes served us a true king's feast. Van Helsing excused himself and asked something to Carter. The king laughed and dismissed him in good spirits. The only explanation we ever got was a quick warning through telepathy:
I need a drink, see you later.
Then, he apparently disconnected himself somehow. The last time he did it, he blew up a mountain. But, eh, what the worse that could happen?
We were well fed, Carter had examined Tilili as much as he could, both of them had exchanged experiences about places that I'm not sure I wanted to know and Linus and I had engaged in a mature and serious game of imitating the two. My only worry was that Van Helsing was taking forever to return, but then again, the time in those Lower Dreamlands didn't seem to flow like Earth's time.
After a brief and relaxing silence, Carter turned to me.
"As much as I would love to have you all here forever, I am a man of my word. I promised Captain Van Helsing that I would help you to get back home and I will. I can send each one of you to a different place. Where do you want to go?"
"Straight to Arkham" I answered, without a doubt. "Preferably six months ago. I had forgotten how long it takes to get to the South Pole."
"Easy enough" Carter shrugged. "And you, Miss Tilili, or you, Mr. Linus?"
"I'm torn between staying here and learning more about this land and going with Professor Dyer to know the Waking World." Tilili mused, resting her chin on her hands. "Too much time has passed since the downfall of my civilization, so I don't have any hopes of finding other ones from my race, but I want all the knowledge I can gather even then. Maybe the Waking World will be a better base for my explorations? I'm thinking that I can cover more ground if I live there with my body and only send my mind to research the various levels of the Dreamlands."
"It would indeed be easier" Carter smiled. "Just remember that we often lose information when we wake up and have to start everything again when we sleep again."
"My people have good techniques to remember dreams." She smiled back. "I was a military scientist back in the old days, you know? My team had perfected lots of spells, incantations, summons and astral projections for spying needs. Telili was in charge of war tech. We would use non-biological technology very rarely and he was one of the few of us that could operate them."
A melancholic mist covered her eyes for an instant, and then she just shrugged. "Old days don't come back, as they say. I guess I'll settle for the Waking World, it doesn't matter where. Telili and I survived for months in the hostile Yith, during the war; we can survive on a planet that doesn't even know that we exist."
"And you, my friend?" he asked Linus. I had to "translate" the question. The proto-shoggoth was flustered.
I don't really have any plans. I mean, I'm happy enough that I wasn't killed. Or eaten. I don't know where to go, now. I wanted to explore everything I can. There are so many things to see, to learn, but nowhere to stay.
I "translated" this to Carter. He heard and smiled sympathetically. "You can stay here, if you want to. I'm used to have uncommon friends. But I have to say to you, if you want to explore, the best course is the one that your friend here is taking. Go to the Waking World and project yourself to all the layers of the Dreamlands that you want to go, it's a lot safer."
When I said this to Linus, he got worried: But how will I survive there? If I understand well, you humans cover Earth in all its layers and most humans may be hostile at me.
At this point, I wasn't trying to hide that I have way less common sense that one needs for survival, so I shrugged and rolled with it. You can live in my basement for a while, until you find your own place to live. I'm a widower and my sons already grew up and got their own houses. I'm sure no one will mind if I 'rent' a room to a… tenant.
He whistled happily, scaring Carter. I laughed. "It's OK, Carter", I told him. "He's just as excitable as a child."
"Are you sure of this, professor?" Tilili gave a bit of a dirt look to Linus. "How can we trust him? What if he's a scout of the shoggoths, so they can invade your plane?"
I looked at Linus, and his multitude of green blinking eyes. He was starting to feel familiar. I could swear that I almost could read his expression at that moment, despite the fact that he didn't have a face to begin with. "I guess we won't know until it becomes an issue."
Carter intervened in my behalf: "I've formed the strangest alliances since I first came to the Dreamlands. I've become friends with creatures that other people would call monsters, and they all proved to be loyal and noble. I would advise you to give the fellow a chance."
"At the worst, we can always dissect him." I shrugged. Luckily, Linus didn't understand what I was talking aloud.
"It means that we are all settled? You all want go back to Arkham. Do you know where your friend wants to go?"
"No idea. Let's see if I can talk with him…"
We were interrupted by the doors swinging open loudly. Van Helsing stormed in, paler than the usual.
"Your Majesty, thank you for your hospitality, but we have to go." He put on the backpack with Linus and dragged me and Tilili by our sleeves. He was so strong that not even her (who, despite the spell that changed her appearance, was actually much taller and bulkier than him) could resist him. "Let's go, let's go."
"You don't need to hurry, Captain Van Helsing", Carter said, puzzled. "I can call a car to take us to your airplane quicker."
"Thanks, but we have to go before…"
There was a sudden commotion near the room we were. It looked like lots of people shouting and cursing. Van Helsing swore under his breath. "We. Out. NOW!"
Still dragging us, he jump-kicked the window and we all passed through its pieces. He somehow managed to catch me and Tilili by the waist before we even noticed that we had a huge fall ahead of us. I braced myself for the impact, anticipating the pain and the possible death, until I felt that we were falling too slowly. By the time I ventured to give a peek at our situation, we were already on the ground.
"What was that?!" I screamed, as he started to run at a vertiginous speed while carrying me. "What is this?!"
Tilili started flying, keeping up with us without much difficulty. She also questioned our sudden departure. He answered in an almost ashamed voice:
Hm. King Carter was so warm that I had forgotten why I was banned from the Dreamlands. People here are crazy. They put up with ghouls, they revere the most unsettling gods, but you let one drop of blood splatter and it's all torches and pitchforks.
I was not sure if I understood what he was talking about, but I understood enough not to pry on the subject. We were back to our airplane in no time. Telili looked quizzically to us, and Tilili whistled for a while. I suppose that she was so desperate that she fell back to her own language.
We prepared the plane to fly as quickly as we could.
"Wait!"
A dark bat-winged and faceless figure was looming over us. It was holding a man with its paws – no one less than Carter – who was clutching his crown and waving.
"Thanks, Johnson. Put me down, please."
The thing obliged gently and perched itself in a tree. Carter composed himself, almost out of breath.
"I'm so sorry, Captain, I didn't get what you meant when you said that you needed a drink, or we could have made a better arrangement. My subjects tend to be a little… skittish when it comes to some matters."
"It's alright. Sorry for the ruckus." Van Helsing shrugged. "We are going."
"Tsk. I said I would help. Where are you going?"
"I have the responsibility to deliver Prof. Dyer to Arkham safely. I promised him. I'm going where he goes."
"And I assume everyone else will also follow Bill?"
(Ugh, I hate when he talks about me in the first name basis.)
Tilili and Linus agreed. Happy, Carter urged everyone to enter the plane. Once we were there, he brought out of his pocket a huge key made of silver. I shivered when I saw its carvings, even if I didn't know what they meant. As he brandished the key, he made a final warning:
"I'm opening the gates of time and space. Travel swiftly and pray to whatever gods you worship that the guardians don't notice you. If you go fast enough, you will most certainly make it without trouble, but keep your protection spells ready."
Tilili and Telili nodded, all serious. I could feel that they suddenly respected Carter way more than before.
Without further ado, Carter made a motion, like he was turning the key in a keyhole. I didn't understand it, until I saw a doorway opening in reality itself. I was still wrapping my mind around the existence of this door when Van Helsing waved a final goodbye to the king and went at all speed through it.
What is time? What is space? How can it be that there are spaces between spaces and between times? Do we exist when we are in these places?
I don't really know. I don't know where we were, I don't even know if we were travelling straight into the future or diagonally into the present perfect. I only know when the horror began.
Smoke started to fill the plane, and I could only glimpse teeth, tongues and what… were… lean… bodies? Tilili and Telili immediately started firing spells right and left, as I saw myself cornered, so to speak, in one wall of the plane. Linus soon were there with me, equally scared.
W-What are those things? He asked. T-They are horrible!
No idea. I tried to keep myself cool, because the poor thing was on the verge of total panic.
Suddenly, he let a weird cry. He wrapped a tentacle around one of my wrists and pulled it to the right. For some reason, it slid up. I felt that I punched something viscous, a cloud of smoke vanished and my hand was covered in a kind of blue ichor.
What have you done?! I asked, yanking my arm from him.
Sooorry. I noticed that you are very strong and figured that you could hit the thing better than I.
Did I hit it? I don't understand how things work here. I feel I'm raising my arms and I see them going sideways.
You hit it! It vanished in a cloud! And it's easier to see here with four or five concentric eyes, like that. He demonstrated, creating a ring of eyes in his bubbly body.
Yeah, easy. Why wouldn't I create some extra eyes, right?
An alarming cry came from the pilot's cabin. I felt cold, because I knew that Van Helsing couldn't stop piloting, but he had to defend himself. Fear made me marginally smarter. I turned to the shivering Linus:
Well, I can't create more eyes than the ones I have. But I do have an idea. A terrible, terrible idea. Why, God, why have I ever considered that? Since you can see the darned things, why don't you climb into my back and control my arms? We have to at least buy us some time, so the two over there- I pointed to Tilili and Telili can cast their spells.
He accepted the plan, a little doubtfully. I can't start to describe what it was to feel his slimy body creeping over my back and wrapping himself around my arms. Few things over these years have made me closer to total madness. But I endured, because we have gone too far to be killed by those… non… things.
We found Van Helsing having a hard time with the smoke-like things around him. Thanks to our arrangement, Linus and I… punched? Gently stroked? Impaled? Well, we hit those things attacking us, one after another.
When we thought we couldn't bear it anymore, a wave of energy shook us to the ground. After it passed, the space around us was still impossibly warped, but we were alone.
"I finally finished the shielding spell." Tilili appeared, sweating. "That was hard. So many hounds of Tindalos at once! It was outrageous! But they weren't expecting so much resistance; we should be fine for now."
"What are those things?!" I asked, exhausted.
"They live in the fringes of space-time and prey on whoever they notice here. If the prey is helpless, they may even follow it to the normal space-time continuum, but they don't usually follow anyone who fights back." Tilili answered us, wiping blue fluid out of her.
We sighed in relief. Linus climbed out of me and I shuddered at this slug-like crawl in my back.
Thank you. He said, looking embarrassed. Well, feeling embarrassed. He was still looking like a mound of spoiled goo.
For what? I was puzzled.
For letting me work with you. I was afraid.
Me too. We probably were laughable to the others. I mean, I was flailing my arms blindly and you were tugging them like some kind of puppeteer. It must have been grotesque, at best. But hey, it worked. It's enough. Thank you for being my eyes.
And that's when I started to feel that I had to be gentle with the feelings of a pile of eyes and dark bubbles. Well, I've never had much sanity to begin with. It was not that much of a loss.
I've noticed that Linus was concentrating in something, and that a kind of tentacle started to emerge from his body. The tentacle divided itself in five parts, inflated in some places and… oh, God, it was a hand. He was offering a "hand" for me to shake. Jesus.
I conquered my disgust and shook the slimy simulacrum of a hand. He closed his eyes and whistled in enthusiasm, something that I had to tell myself firmly that was hideous, not even remotely cute.
But it was hopeless, and I knew it. We gave it a name. We let it follow us home. We fed it and we were bonding with it. I had a new puppy, one that could or could not kill me in my sleep, and no mom that would object of me keeping it.
We didn't have any other incident in our flight, aside from my nausea, caused by that weird environment of the "fringes of space-time" or whatever. At some point, we saw a bright point that wobbled and grew until we reached it.
I may have lost my consciousness for a bit. The next thing I remember was the plane hitting the ground. For some reason, I was back at my winter clothes, the ones that I thought were left all the way back in Antarctica.
Everyone survived? I heard Van Helsing in the back of my head.
All of us confirmed. I had to ask: Where are us?
The pilot came to my side, also in his winter clothes.
"Haven't you seen through the windows yet? We are home! Or, more precisely, you are."
I opened the plane door and went outside. I couldn't believe it. We were in College Street, just in front of the campus of Miskatonic University. The plane was covered in snow, as if we were in the South Pole just a minute ago. People were looking us with that sort of "do I scream or do I pretend that I saw nothing?" look.
The final blow came when I glanced the paper in the hands of the newspaper boy gaping at me: its date was the twelfth of July, three days after we had left Kingsport with the Starkweather-Moore expedition. Van Helsing chimed in, laughing:
"I guess that King Carter took your 'six months ago' seriously, Professor."
I started to laugh, too. I laughed for two hours without stopping, than I sobbed all night.