AN: Eeek, this chapter is where things begin to heat up a little. Be excited. And please review with good or bad comments, I don't mind criticism if it is constructive. Or you can just tell me what you like so far :)

Also, if Levi seems a bit OOC it's just because I like the idea of him appearing super chill to everyone while inside he is freaking out like all of the time. It's an attempt to make him more endearing, but let me know if it works or not :D

And, finally, enjoy the new cover image!

3. Nosebleed

~Levi~

"Captain! Get away from Eren! You're too close!"

That was probably true, but not quite in the way Petra meant it.

"BE QUIET! ALL OF YOU JUST BE QUIET!"

The squad froze, weapons still drawn, staring at Eren.

What an annoying, screechy yell that kid had. And how irksome it was that they obeyed him now after I had been telling them the same thing for the last half a minute. But I guess it sounded more threatening coming from the boy screaming inside a mound of steaming flesh and bone.

It was obvious that he wasn't about to hurt anyone, though. He looked like a cornered animal, and even more confused than the rest of us. I stared at him, sitting there with his arm still fused to a titan's upper body, his big doe eyes wide with fear as he looked right back at me.

The brat sure was becoming a bit of a nuisance.

"EREEN!" Hanje screamed, sprinting to join the spectacle. I looked around at the squad, and they retreated at my signal. I watched Eren as he wrenched his arm from the sinews and tumbled to the ground ungracefully. As everyone else concerned themselves with the decaying arm, I approached the kid.

"So … you feeling OK or what?" I asked uncertainly. He was panting, and starting to turn pale before my eyes.

"Not … exactly … no."

I looked around. "I'll bring Eren back to his room. Everyone else, dismissed. There's nothing left to see here."

Hanje gasped. "What are you talking about!? We need to run tests, I need to ask Eren some questions—"

"Do your tests quickly, that arm is already half disintegrated. And look at him — he's not fit to answer anything. He needs rest."

"Well — we need to have a meeting about this! We need to make sense of what happened here!"

I knelt beside Eren who was still breathing heavily and staring at me with his big stupid eyes. What was so interesting that he needed to look so damn hard, anyway? I took his arm and swung it over my own shoulder. "Then call for me when you need me, Hanje."

She protested, but I was already dragging the boy away. I held his frame up, trying not to become too aware of his body as he leaned his weight on me. I attempted to ignore the hand that clutched my shoulder, and my own grip on his waist. I could feel his ribs underneath his shirt and his skin was all clammy. It was gross, actually.

I briefly wondered if he had any bruises left from my beating.

"Thank you … Captain," he said weakly, almost a whisper. Since he was taller than me his breath tickled my ear and sent shudders down my spine. I grit my teeth and looked straight ahead.

"Save your breath," I told him, and he looked down at his feet. "I mean, literally, save it. You look like you're about to …" Eren lurched forward, and I had to grab him before he fell on his face. "Faint," I sighed.

I was forced to carry him back to the horses over my shoulder, which I can't deny enjoying a little bit. I'd have had more fun if he was conscious, though, and maybe putting up a bit of a fight. The kind of fight that was explicitly consented to beforehand, of course. That might have been why, once we were in the basement, it seemed wrong to chain him to the bed. I laid him down and studied him for a moment.

I should have gotten someone else to do this. I should have gotten someone else to watch over him last night. And, yet, here I was. I figured it wasn't much better, lying awake at night with the knowledge that the boy was down here chained to his own bed coursing through my veins. His eyes were always brighter in my memory, anyway, and as he lay passed out before me now, they were hidden behind pale eyelids. I leaned over, holding my breath. His eyelashes were just so fucking long. His mouth was open slightly, his lips drained of colour and dry. I clenched my fists, wanting desperately to touch his peaceful little face, heat him up and bring the colour back. I wanted his cheeks as rosy as a freshly spanked butt cheek. But I had to keep things professional.

At least down here with him I knew my own self-control. I wasn't about to risk my position for the tiny chance that I could successfully seduce him and, on top of that, that he would be interested in the kind of things I was imagining …

Eren stirred, and I fled his bedside before his eyes had a chance to open and find me observing him so closely. Cursing and breathing heavily, I sat down on the basement steps and forced myself to get a grip. There was no alternative. It didn't matter that he was vibrant and earnest, or that he got some sort of inexplicable thrill out of my kicking the shit out of him at the trial. It didn't even matter that the way he looked at me resembled a submissive staring up at their Master with fear and respect.

He was too young, he was on my squad, and his cleaning was too pathetic.

It was just a crush.

What was I saying? It was even less than a crush, it was a spark of a feeling that would never catch fire. It was purely the idea of him being in my possession, and the memory of standing over him as he knelt before me, his arms tied behind his back, my foot on his head …

I couldn't stop seeing it. So the more I saw him in chains and kept myself level, the more I would get accustomed to it and control my craving. Right?

"Corporal?" came his voice. "Um, what are you doing over there?"

Fuck.

I held on to my breath as I emerged from around the corner. "I was just going to go get you a cold flannel for your head," I said dumbly.

"Oh," he replied, rubbing his hair and looking sheepish. Fucking adorable. Fuck. "That's OK, I'm feeling relatively normal now."

I nodded.

He looked around at the cell, and then at his hands. "Don't you want to tie me up?" he asked, turning his eyes up to meet my gaze.

"Huh?" I asked, panicking.

"I mean, I just accidentally transformed into a titan without warning. I think … the others might feel better if I was tied up."

My heart returned slightly to normal. "No, I think we're fine. You can tie yourself up if it'll make you feel better."

Really, I just didn't want to touch him.

He didn't take up my suggestion, but instead gave a heavy sigh. He got up off the bed and came around to where I was, sitting down on the step beside me. I leaned against the wall, staring at the torch bracket across from us.

I couldn't look at him. This was awful. Even if I should have chained him up, I couldn't do it now. Had I let my feelings get in the way of doing my job? Everyone else had turned on him: that was the smart thing to do. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt instead. I was lucky this time: it was just an arm. But if he went berserk during the next experiment, what would my hesitation cost?

"That was quite a wake-up call, let me tell ya," he said gloomily.

I said nothing, not wishing to engage him in conversation again like the other night. I needed to stop being there for him, becoming someone he could talk to. What was I, his confidante? Truth was, I had just talked shit so I didn't have to think about what I could do to him in that bed while he was all chained up. But, somehow, it had turned into something real. He had even cried in front of me. Shit. He seemed to trust my word unconditionally, and here I was with nothing but sick thoughts and lustful feelings for him in return.

All I wanted was to be worthy of that trust. But I couldn't. That didn't exactly go hand-in-hand with keeping my distance from him.

"'Til their blades were drawn, I had no idea how little they trusted me."

I hoped he didn't recognise that, oddly enough, I was the only one who did.

After the meeting, Hanje asked Eren to stay behind for a few more personal questions. As I got up to go, she called me back.

"What do you want me to stay for?"

"I think you might have some insight into these topics, that's all."

Eren stared at me with his stupid eyes and his stupid mouth agape as usual, and I was so frustrated by his stupid face that I accidentally gave him a look so stern that he shut his mouth and gulped. I actually made him gulp. Imagine his reaction if I was really trying to intimidate him…

Actually, no, best not to do that.

I sat down again with a sigh.

"So, Eren," Hanje began cheerfully, "You say you figured out that you had to harm yourself in order to shift into a Titan — but you don't remember how you know that, am I correct?"

Eren nodded. "Yeah … I had some sort of flashback about my dad and then I somehow knew what to do."

"And — excuse me for asking — had you ever performed self-harm before?"

Eren's eyes widened further. "No. I'm not suicidal or anything like that."

I stared at the wall. Why the fuck was I here.

Hanje smiled. "OK, good for you. One more question …" She glanced briefly at me, and then grinned at Eren. "Have you ever consented to have pain inflicted on you by another?"

Eren looked between both of us. "I don't know what you mean," he said nervously. "Why would anyone allow someone else to hurt them?"

Hanje gave a small chuckle. "Well, what I'm referring to is a type of desire that some people have to derive pain in a sexual encounter. You know, like whipping, bondage, Domination and submission … sado-masochism, that kind of thing? The idea is that both people involved enjoy it, whether they are the giver or the receiver." She laughed. "I just thought that maybe you were one of those people who likes to receive it!"

My heart had practically stopped beating as I waited for him to answer.

"Um, well I can't say that I have ever experienced anything like that, so …"

I exhaled, although rather unsure whether or not I actually felt relieved. But things were only going to get worse.

"That's perfectly fine, Eren!" chirped Hanje. "I was curious, you see, because the report says that the first time you transformed there was no self-harm involved, and you had lost both an arm and a leg and were deep in the belly of a titan for minutes before you transformed. So, in that way, the pain caused by another without your permission didn't even set you off immediately like it did when you tried to protect your friends from that cannon shot. But if perhaps you were to allow someone to cause you pain, I wonder, would that technically be a self-inflicted sort of pain? I am just making stabs in the dark here!"

"Where the hell is this going, Hanje?" I asked, my teeth clenched.

"Do you mean to say that you'd like to torture me, squad commander, to see what degree of pain it takes for me to transform?" he asked, clearly appalled.

Hanje opened her mouth, and then laughed loudly. "No, I don't mean that I'd like to torture you at all. But, I mean, didn't you see that excited look on the Captain's face when he was standing on your head at the trial?"

Eren gasped, and I jumped up so fast that my chair flew back across the room. "HANJE!"

I couldn't look at him, but I knew he was staring at me. Hanje was in a state of sheer delight. "Oh, I guess you probably couldn't see it, Eren, since your face was being smushed into the ground and all."

I grabbed Hanje by the back of her cloak and dragged her out of the room, growling. "Excuse us for a moment, Eren," I said, turning back for a moment and trying hard to feign cool.

He gaped at me. I felt really sick.

I shoved Hanje out into the hall and slammed the door behind me.

I managed to push her so hard she tripped and fell over. "Ouch! Hey, don't start getting rough with me now!" She laughed while getting up and dusting her clothes down, then giving me a wink. "We don't do that anymore, you and me."

"Shut up," I snapped. "What the hell do you think you're doing in there?"

"I was just curious, gosh—"

"You were undermining me in front of my subordinate! What are you trying to fill his head with, silly fantasies that the Captain has a crush on him?"

"Wha-huh?" she asked, her eyes widening. "I said nothing like that at all. I just was letting him know that you would have no problem beating him up again if the experiments called for it."

"There will be no such experiments. We can't risk killing him."

"Ah, shit! I just wanna know what makes him tick, you know?" she wailed. "If anything — his mental state, his anger, his fetishes, his homicidal tendencies — have anything to do with his titan's ability, I wanna know about it!"

I leaned against the wall, covering my face with my hands. "Well, why'd you have to drag me into it?"

"Huh? Why is this even winding you up so much, Levi? What was that you said about a crush?"

"Nothing," I said shortly. "He's just a fucking kid."

"You forget how well I know you, Levi," she said slyly, lowering her voice. I peered out between my fingers and saw her approaching with that disgusting drooling mouth thing she does. "I bet you've been obsessed with him since you first saw him chained up in that cell. Easy to ignore at that time, but I saw your face when you approached that post he was tied to in the courtroom. It must really torment you, knowing he's chained up in the basement here every night as you're trying to sleep. Better still, the way he looks at you … like he'd follow your every command with a quivering voice. That's how you like it, right? Isn't that why the two of us didn't work out?"

"He looks like that because I'm his superior. It would be inappropriate for anything else to be between us," I said calmly, while inside my flesh was writhing uncomfortably beneath my skin.

She wrinkled her nose with a little smile. "Still, inappropriate makes it all the hotter right? Come on, Levi, why don't you just have some fun with the kid? I think he might be a good sub, ya know!"

"Doesn't matter. We're on the same team, and he's the most vital asset we have. I would be putting the entire corps at risk if my judgement lapsed because we were … I mean if we were to …" I trailed away, my heart beating fast, and Hanje grabbed both my hands in hers.

"I knew it!" she shrieked. "You do have a thing for the kid! Ah, this is adorable!"

I wrestled myself away from her. "I'm not admitting to anything. I'm just saying that either way you need to shut up and stop telling my men about my sexual preferences, OK? You'll give him the wrong impression."

"Or the very right one," she said, her tongue lolling and eyes welling with whatever sick fantasy she was imagining for us in her head. "Why don't you loosen up and see, Levi? I mean, that Mikasa chick is like in love with Eren or something and her judgement has never been impaired by it. In fact, it drives her to protect him all the more."

"Mikasa? That childhood friend he almost killed?"

"Yeah …" Hanje said, tilting her head to one side. "But seems to me like in the end they've both saved each other on numerous occasions. I know that under all the walls you have up, you still just want someone to call your own, Levi. It'd be nice to have someone to share the horrors of all this with, wouldn't it? Someone who has your back for reasons other than being a comrade, or a subordinate? Wouldn't you like to have someone's shoulder to lean on when it's all over?"

I stared at her, her eyes huge and wet behind her glasses. Why did everyone have such enormous, sappy eyes?

"Not really, no."

Hanje looked at me, searching for something more, but she wasn't going to find it. At one time she seduced me into doing some pretty weird things, but all I really wanted was someone's head to stand on. She was like a wild thing who wanted someone to live wild with her, and I wanted a wild thing of my own to tame. But Eren … the way he spoke out against Nile and wall cult at the trial was crazy, feral; and yet he met me with a deer-caught-in-headlights look and a quivering voice every time I saw him. I couldn't stand it. Under my skin I was burning to find out if he was the submissive type, yearning to be tortured and taught his lesson. And afterwards, I could really take care of him. I didn't need a shoulder to lean on, but what would it feel like to be the shoulder?

But — whatever. I had a responsibility, and I wasn't about to fuck it up for some boy I barely knew.

"Go take a shit and go to bed, glasses freak," I said coldly. "I'll mop up your mess."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" she sneered. "Clean freak."

We both stared at each other a moment, and then burst out laughing.

She bade me a cheery goodbye and I sighed as she went off down the corridor. I waited a moment, and then took a deep breath. I opened the door.

Eren stood up quickly, his mouth tight shut and his eyes glinting with some sort of emotion. Shit … he sure was cute. His face was totally flushed.

"Eren—" I began.

"Sir, um, before you say anything, I want to understand this." He looked down and his eyes became shadowed. I looked around for an escape. In hushed tones, he continued. "So, what Hanje-san is saying is that you're one of these people who enjoys inflicting pain and controlling people, in a sexual situation?"

This time, I was the one who gulped. Thankfully he didn't notice, as he had his head bowed. Maybe Hanje was right — he certainly could act like a submissive sometimes. Unable to meet my eyes, shy, muted. It really would drive me crazy. "Hanje was out of line. She has no business discussing my personal shit here."

He looked up, his eyes fixing on mine. "You didn't answer the question."

I narrowed my eyes. I approached the table, placing my palms down and leaning on them. "I don't have to. It's none of your business, either."

Eren held my gaze from his seat boldly. So … maybe we were wrong.

"Tch." I straightened up and walked to the door. "You're dismissed, Yeager."

When my hand was on the doorknob, the little brat piped up again. "I'll take it then that it's true. And in that case, I want you to know what a disgusting pervert I think you are."

I turned, my mouth open in shock. His eyes looked insane, like they did when Erwin had asked him what his intentions were. He looked at me like I was a titan he wanted to destroy.

Damn.

"Yeah, I think it's sick alright. The way you give out orders, making us clean the entire castle three times over, the way you beat me half to death at the hearing, all because you get off on it? That fucking turns you on, does it?" I stared at him. He laughed maniacally. "Well, I think you're a piece of shit if that's the case. That's all I wanted to say."

I turned back to the door. Why the fuck was I just standing here? Could I make a run for it? I clenched my teeth. He was fucking right, wasn't he? But it's not like I had done anything! Not really, anyway. I could admit I had these feelings, but I hadn't acted on them. So then why did I need to explain myself to some stupid bastard kid who didn't understand the first thing about me?

I really was going to make Hanje pay for this one.

"You're dreadfully mistaken, Eren," I began carefully. "You little fucking punk … You have no idea."

He laughed harshly. "I don't? Well, please explain it to me, Captain. Please explain why the hell you've been breathing down my neck ever since I got here, even watching me sleep? If I thought it was fucking creepy before, I don't want you anywhere near me now!"

"Shut up," I said, spinning around. "You probably don't understand because you're just a fucking boy, but what I do in my private life has nothing to do with my behaviour around you. Wanna know why I order everyone around? Because it's my fucking job! And maybe I'm the only one who enjoys the cleaning, but I promise you you'd be complaining more if that basement of yours was crawling with dust bunnies! And as it happens, I'm fucking terrified of spiders!"

I hadn't realised it, but I had crossed the room and grabbed the front of his shirt already. Eren wasn't looking so angry anymore, despite me touching him. This was fucked, and all the more inappropriate. I noticed his eyelashes again, framing his shining eyes which searched my own eagerly.

Eagerly?

I pushed him away from me, a little ashamed that I had lost my cool. And a little confused. Better to stick with the anger, I thought. "Make no mistake, Eren: I'm the most capable person to take you down if you lose control, that's the only reason I've been wasting my nights hanging around the cellar. As for the trial, I'll admit the position you were in reminded me of something else, but I took no enjoyment in beating you up like I did. I don't enjoy it unless you enjoy it. So you can rest assured that I'm not treating you or anyone else the way I do because I get off on it. This is just how I am. Understand?"

He stared at me, and I believed I had shut the kid up.

"Well, I get it if you want someone else on guard for you, but the blame is on you if you fucking lose control and kill them. And I never want to hear you talking to me like this again, you little piece of shit. OK?"

He nodded, and I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Fine," I said, turning back to the door.

"Um, Captain—"

I spun around, and his sudden movements that followed made me think he was attacking me. As his hand reached for my shoulder I grabbed his wrist, and I managed to catch the fingers of his other hand between my own as they reached out for my neck. But nonetheless I was caught off guard — which doesn't happen very often, believe me — and he still almost managed to complete the move. The question briefly crossed my mind — a headbutt? — before his face crashed into mine and I felt not his skull but his lips.

They were soft.

They found my mouth.

What the fuck?

My eyes were still open and his were scrunched shut. We must have looked absolutely bizarre. For half a second we struggled with each other's arms, before I threw him off and he staggered backwards.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I yelled at him.

"Ah, ah — I'm sorry, sir," he gasped, turning bright red. Oh fuck. He dropped to his knees. "I'm sorry, sir, I just rarely see you overcome with any emotion. I'm just really confused right now."

"Ugh … Don't do that, Eren," I said uncomfortably. My pants were starting to feel a little tight at the front.

He bowed his head. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to. Forgive me."

"I said don't do that. Get up. You're making me feel gross."

He stood up shakily, and opened his mouth.

"Don't say anything," I ordered, and he shut it. Oh fuck. How was I supposed to walk away from this? I had been controlling myself reasonably well up until now, but now he had to go and do this. It was one thing fighting the unrequited sort of lust … but what if it wasn't unrequited at all? Fuck, I was supposed to be a master of self-control, but this temptation was threatening to overpower me.

I opened my mouth, but what was there to say? His eyes were so wide and fearful, his body trembling with passion. I couldn't look at him anymore, so I looked at the wall. The wall was a lot easier to deal with. The wall didn't give me any mixed signals. The wall didn't give me any signals at all. Why couldn't Eren be the wall?

Not looking at him was good: I managed to turn around and make it those five or six steps back to the door. He still didn't say anything, whether out of shock or obeying my order, I didn't know. I hoped it wasn't the latter because the idea was torture.

I raised my hand and stroked the wall. I heard him move and it was enough to push me out the door. Once free, I walked briskly down the corridor and took the stairs two at a time until I reached my room.

I slammed the door and stood for a moment with my head bowed, catching my breath. Then, out of the blue, a red drop fell from my face to the floor. Surprised, I wiped my hand under my nose. My eyes widened at the smear of blood across the back of my hand.

Gross, I thought. But not nearly as gross as me.