Relative silliness.
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[I could see Temari having really bad problems with period cramps and cravings, and Shikamaru has to deal with them just as much as she does.]
"Fucking, fuck, fuck, always the wrong fucking time," and if Shikamaru hadn't been counting how many times his associate had been hissing swears, he would have burst out laughing mid-meeting. He tried to keep his composure, but the Sand shinobi had progressed from small fidgets of discomfort into full-blown swears in a matter of a seconds, and he was soon forced to keep his mind occupied. Ibiki was not a man to mess with; so much as a snigger and he could probably whip that chalk right into someone's eye socket and out the back of their brains.
It seemed like Temari didn't even care for subtleties anymore as she shifted around in her seat before inhaling painfully. It was only when the bigger, bulkier, and helluvalot scarier ninja turned around with deliberate slowness, did Shikamaru tense as he could already deduce the coming conversation.
"Is there trouble there, Sand?"
If it were any other ninja, they probably would've backed down. Especially those who had participated in chuunin exams, when the Konoha-nin revealed his scarred head and the horrors he was subjected to.
But then again, this was Temari.
This was also Temari on her- "I'm on my period," the blonde said boldly, scooching her chair back with a screech and standing with a surprisingly commanding presence. "So I'm going to take a walk."
The Konoha nin blinked, along with the rest of the male-dominated council. Suddenly Shikamaru understood why they all seemed apprehensive, and they didn't protest as she took their silence as confirmation as she took her stack of papers under one arm. "I'm also taking him with me," she added, pointing a finger at the shadow nin.
Sputter of protests burst through his lips but one glare from Ibiki stopped him from unleashing a string of swear words that would have gotten him more screwed than saying nothing. The scarred ninja nodded gravely, almost as if he were wishing the Nara luck as he felt the back of his shirt collar being tugged on. Are you kidding me, he thought with exasperation, unable to fight the Sand nin who literally dragged him out into the hall.
As soon as they were left in silence, Shikamaru stood straight and groaned. "Really?" he muttered, not even attempting to disguise his mortification. She shot him an exasperated look as she placed her hands on her hips and leaned forward, spine cracking at the motion as she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank god, periods are such a bitch," she exclaimed, shifting her weight from one foot to another. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and slid down the wall he had begun to lean on, balancing on his haunches as he exhaled loudly.
"Why did you drag me out with you?"
"Isn't it obvious? You're my guide," the blonde's eyebrows wiggled, though her teal eyes were near humourless as she straightened and tapped her chin. "I need you to direct me to a drug store, Nara."
"I gave you a map."
"And the Hokage gave me you, so suck it up, you're coming with me." Before he could even open his mouth to protest, Temari stalked off briskly. He could only watch in horror as she returned to the reception area of the chuunin exam building, her pointed posture all but indicating he had no choice.
Woman's crazy, he thought indignantly as he followed her. He briefly entertained the thought of returning to the meeting, but he had winced away from what Ibiki would say about that. He was a simple guy who just didn't want conflict – and it looked like the best thing for that was to play lap puppy for his escort.
How troublesome.
"What did you say?!" said-escort snarled suddenly, whirling around with such a vehemence that the shadow nin had already raised his arms reflexively to block any type of attack the Sand nin would've thrown at him.
"- Nothing! I actually said nothing!" He retorted, mentally wincing as his voice came out higher with panic because this lady was actually insane. Her teal eyes narrowed coldly as she picked up her fan from the array of weapons left at the reception, fastening it on her back with a scarily audible click. He gulped reflexively. That sound was never good. Why is it always me, he thought again, trying to ignore the way she regarded him and how it even more diminishing than usual.
Temari sighed, the exhale beginning quiet but by the time she blew the rest of her breath, had escalated to a voiced groan. "Just watch your mouth, okay?"
If he hadn't known any better he wouldn't have picked up on her special way of apologizing, yet somehow the shadow nin was already adjusted to the woman's gruff way of speech. He sighed and took the lead instead, the blonde falling into step behind him. As troublesome as she was, he couldn't help but to smirk as a new wave of expletives flowed from her mouth like a broken faucet, finding himself surprisingly entertained by the string of words he reckoned no Konoha nin had even attempted to put together.