Secrets Kept

*Updated June 2014 – originally chapter 4, just tweaked a bit, not much of a difference.*

Thanks to Defiant Vixen for reviewing, as always! I totally agree with you with the partying – I hate it when people write Gary as a party animal, it doesn't fit someone serious about researching, much less someone raised by a professor.

Gary and Tracey's conversation in the lab was so inspired by a conversation with one of my friends in our college speech class… Ah, memories.

Chapter Three

Liking girls shouldn't be that hard, Gary had decided after May's party. It should come easily enough to a sixteen-year-old boy; all he really had to do was flirt with them and be interested when his friends talked about them nonstop. Being naturally perceptive, it didn't take Gary very long to figure out that he had always been flirting with his sister's friends – in a playful way, but it was flirting nonetheless – and that there was no way he could even pretend to be so interested when the conversations turned crude.

Fortunately for him, he quickly noticed that not all of his friends were interested in the conversations and he was able to tune them out while doing something else entirely. Doing that didn't raise any suspicions that he didn't feel the same way as the other boys since they tended to be doing their own thing, even when hanging out in a group. The distractions provided a sort of comfort, even if it was just taking over whatever video game Mike was playing, watching Darren play an instrument, or annoying Adrian by reading over his shoulder.

Of course, distractions couldn't last forever. He wasn't always in a group of four to seven people, more often, he was with only one or two friends and couldn't just do something else. Those situations in particular bothered Gary as he invariably ended up lying to his friends when he normally prided himself on his honesty. The lies were small and harmless, this was true, but that didn't exactly help matters.

There were times when he almost felt as though he were going insane and those moments of sanity that he did experience seemed to be cut short by the confusing thoughts that would constantly circulate his head. Helping in the lab helped a bit, but Gary often found himself distracted by Tracey. It wasn't that the older boy intentionally distracted him from whatever he was doing; it was more that the little, insignificant interactions between them that would distract him – the shared smiles, the occasional accidental brushes of bare skin…

It didn't help that Gary constantly found his gaze following the watcher as he went about his usual work in the lab. Gary was certain that Tracey knew about him constantly watching him, whether or not he knew why was beyond Gary – as was the reason he was watching the other boy in the first place. He doubted Tracey knew how much their interactions were distracting him and he knew for a fact that his grandfather hadn't noticed. The older man was simply too wrapped up in some project involving Goldeen feeding behavior; the newest project he had picked up to keep himself amused.

Fortunately, there was one major distraction looming in the near future that offered some relief from the inner turmoil that Gary was forever trying – and failing miserably – to block out. School was set to start in just over a week and, though he was not looking forward to being stuck in a classroom all day, Gary was grateful for the extra workload that was about to be thrown his way. He was far too bored with little to do, even if he did work in the lab and hang out with friends most of the time.

"What classes are you signing up for?" Tracey's soft voice suddenly cut through the near-silence of the lab, effectively slicing through Gary's thoughts.

He glanced up from the counter where he was measuring out amounts of pokemon food for the next morning. "Classes?" he echoed, thrown off by the random question that Tracey had just asked him.

Tracey laughed softly, easily noticing that he had managed to slightly confuse the other boy. He gave a small smile before speaking again and Gary felt his stomach churn – there was that smile again… What had they just been talking about?

"School starts soon, right? Don't you have to register for your classes in a few days?"

Gary sighed and abandoned his task of preparing the food. "Yeah," he confirmed wearily.

"You don't sound so thrilled," Tracey replied mildly, picking up some of the food on the counter and resuming the job Gary had just abandoned.

Gary simply shrugged and returned his attention to preparing the food. "I just don't like being stuck inside all day."

Another small smile crossed Tracey's features as he glanced over at the younger boy. "I noticed," he said easily. "You tend to fidget a lot whenever you're inside for a long time," he explained at Gary's confused expression. "You'll be so busy it won't even bother you once things get started."

"That's not entirely reassuring, Trace." Tracey unexpectedly reached over the counter in front of him to grab an empty food bowl, his hand accidentally brushing against Gary's wrist, causing Gary to jerk back suddenly.

Tracey hesitated slightly, pulling away from the other boy a bit. "Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't hit your stitches did I?" he asked, now remembering the rather large wound Gary had gotten on his arm from… Well, he had gotten injured so many times in the two months he had been home that they were all starting to run together and Tracey couldn't even recall what it was that had caused Gary to require several stitches in his forearm.

"No," Gary said quietly, squirming as Tracey gently took his arm and looked over the injury. "I just bumped it… on the, um…"

"Counter?" Tracey supplied, glancing up with a slight smile.

"Sure," Gary lied. The last thing he wanted to do was admit that Tracey's touch could nearly make his head spin, all thoughts taking on a perverse edge that Gary found to be mildly alarming. Tracey seemed to notice his discomfort and released Gary's arm, blushing slightly.

"I should probably go… I need to check on that nidorina with the broken leg," he muttered as he stepped away from the counter and began to head towards the door of the lab.

Gary watched him go for a moment before calling his name, causing Tracey to pause at the door, his hand already resting on the handle. "Um…" he shifted his weight uncomfortably as Tracey looked at him inquiringly. He wasn't quite sure why he had done that or what he intended to say. Idiot. "Well, you went to the high school here, right?" Tracey nodded, curious by the uncharacteristic behavior. "What classes did you take? I don't really know…" Gary let his voice trail off as Tracey came back over to the counter he was leaning against. The last thing he felt like doing was telling another lie and saying that he didn't know what he was doing was a definite lie.

Tracey smiled again, this time obviously amused. "If you're taking the fast track to finish in two years, you won't have much choice in the classes you'll be taking," he pointed out. He had seen straight through the lie and his curiosity had been triggered.

Ever the watcher, Tracey had noticed the discomfort that Gary seemed to experience when they were around each other; he had even noticed the faint blush that occasionally darkened the boy's cheeks around him. Any suspicions Tracey had when Gary moved home had been heightened to the point where Tracey was more than certain… It didn't matter; even if that was the case, he could never date the grandson of his boss – even if he found Gary to be good-looking, intelligent, and fun to be around. It just couldn't happen.

"I guess…" Gary wasn't quite sure what to say. Part of him simply wanted casual conversation about whatever trivial topic came up between them, another part of him had perhaps a hundred personal questions for Tracey, all dealing with the same topic – the thoughts that he had been forcing back, the reason his friendship with Ash had been pushed aside, the subconscious knowledge that, no matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't see girls in the same light as his friends. Tracey seemed to pick up on the desire for conversation.

"I just took the classes that were there," he said with a small shrug. "Pallet's too small to really offer many electives so you end up pretty much taking everything that's offered. I ended up taking art classes every year and playing on the soccer team, it counts as an elective credit. Kind of surprising that the school even has a sports team of any sort," he added as an afterthought.

Gary raised an eyebrow slightly, having not expected that revelation. He knew that half of his friends played as well; hell, he often played with them and enjoyed it thoroughly. Playing it on a team at school though… With how much his eyes had been lingering on Tracey – even Darren and Adrian on occasion, both were good-looking – he wasn't entirely sure he trusted his eyes not to wander in a locker room. "But you're gay."

Tracey laughed and shook his head. "I know," he replied easily.

"Well, didn't that cause any issues?"

"Not really; I mean, if any one knew about me, they didn't say anything. I didn't really advertise it." At Gary's curious expression, he pressed on. "I didn't hide it. If anyone asked, I would've answered honestly. I guess I'm just not feminine enough to raise any eyebrows." Gary laughed softly at the joke. "You meant in the locker rooms, didn't you?" Tracey asked. He had been able to see some interest in Gary's eyes when he mentioned playing on the team, along with a touch of worry that he wasn't quite sure what to make of.

"Yeah." Tracey gave him a knowing smile and Gary wondered briefly if Tracey had any idea why that question had come up in the first place. He himself knew why he had asked it, even if it was something that his mind hadn't put into discernable thoughts just yet. Somehow, he had the idea that this conversation would be relevant to him at some point in the future.

"I had one of the corner lockers, so I just faced them when everyone was getting dressed –"

"Didn't sneak any peeks at the other guys?" Gary teased. He laughed when Tracey blushed furiously and gave a shaky laugh of his own.

"Once or twice," Tracey admitted after playfully punching Gary's shoulder.

Gary hesitated for a brief moment, wondering whether or not to press on. He gave in; after all, he had taken a liking to picking on his friend. "See anything you like?"

Tracey turned, if possible, even more red as he laughed again. "In all honesty, I would probably see better if I walked in on you in the shower."

"I think you would find it a bit unimpressive," Gary replied, causing Tracey to nearly dissolve in laughter.

"You're only sixteen," Tracey pointed out when he sobered.

It was Gary's turn to laugh. "Are we seriously having this conversation?"

"What's the matter, too gay for you?" Tracey teased lightly, rather enjoying the way they easily joked with each other, despite the short length of their friendship thus far. "You're not a closet homophobe are you, Gary?"

Gary laughed again and it faded a bit suddenly before he replied. "I could never be homophobic," he admitted.

Silence fell between the two boys for a few seconds and Gary suddenly realized what he had just said and felt a surge of emotions – confusion, worry, and a small amount of fear; all combined with the slight and inexplicable hope that Tracey was catching on to what was going on. Tracey easily noticed when Gary realized his words; the tension that appeared in his shoulders and the slight widening of his eyes were hard for someone like Tracey to miss, experienced watcher that he was. In that moment, any and all suspicions Tracey had were confirmed and he gave Gary a small, understanding smile.

Choosing not to say anything in response, Tracey glanced towards the door and then back at Gary with a small frown. "I really need to go check on that Nidorina," was all he said. Gary nodded and Tracey left him to finish setting up the bowls of pokemon food.

As he turned back to the counter and continued working, his mind was whirling with thoughts that suddenly became much more clear. Setting down a bag of dry food, Gary felt a sense of realization dawning on him and sighed softly. "Shit," he muttered softly as everything that had been lurking in his subconscious mind came to the surface.

Behind him, the lab door opened loudly and he could hear a few of his friends enter the room. He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing they could have waited perhaps a few more hours before finding him.

"Not helping Tracey today?" a quiet and curious voice asked. Gary turned to reply to the question asked by the smallest and youngest member of their group, Adrian, who had hair as dark as Tracey's, if a bit longer and shaggier. His features were fair and his eyes were forever bright and cheerful – he had a charming, child-like quality to him that several girls in town found attractive. Gary couldn't quite deny that he found it cute as well.

Before Gary could answer, another voice spoke up. "I swear, he is so in the closet," Wyatt said, ever rash and annoying. Next to him, lanky, brunette Chase rolled his eyes and elbowed him in the ribs.

Remembering a line from the conversation only a few moments earlier, Gary replied. "He's not in the closet, you moron." Wyatt shrugged off the insult, used to the names by now.

"I swear you have a built in gay-dar," Chase said with a grin, glancing at Gary for help picking on Wyatt. "Sure that you're not gay?"

"Fuck you!"

Gary shook his head, turning back to the counter to begin putting everything away while his heart sank slightly at Wyatt's irritable response to Chase's playful words. You're not going to be able to tell them, that annoying voice in the back of his head hissed.

"We have to go get Mike and Brandon – are you going to meet us over at the beach?" Chase asked Gary after shooting some humored response at Wyatt.

Gary nodded without turning around, explaining that he had to clean up. He hoped that his voice didn't actually sound as hollow as it did to him. Adrian offered to stay and help him but Gary brushed off the offer, claiming it would only take a few moments. He could have used the help, the food materials were a pain to put away, but the last thing he wanted right now was a cute boy – who happened to be a friend – stay and help him. The boys left and Gary sighed once they were gone, sinking wearily against the counter for several moments. The door opened after awhile and Tracey came in, followed closely by Gary's umbreon and houndoom, both of whom headed straight over to their trainer as Gary forced a smile.

Tracey saw through the smile and tilted his head to the side, considering the closed-off boy across the room from him. The young researcher hadn't been quite so detached when they had been speaking earlier. He wondered briefly if his down mood had anything to do with his three friends leaving so soon. "Are you alright?" he asked. Gary shrugged and gave a slight roll of his eyes, saying something about being tired as he kneeled down to pet the two canines that happily greeted him. Tracey accepted the answer, even though he didn't quite believe it, and left the lab for the house.

After several long moments, the door opened again and Gary groaned. Couldn't anyone just leave him alone so he could finish what he was doing? The task should have taken an hour and it had been far longer by now and he still wasn't done. Darren's cheerful greeting did little to lighten his mood, even as the teen automatically came over to begin helping without being asked. Gary avoided looking at him, though he took some bit of comfort in the way the other boy babbled on about something dealing with music.

"What's with you?" Darren asked after awhile, confused by the way Gary was being so quiet. It wasn't particularly often that Gary was quiet and it usually wasn't for a good reason that he was this quiet.

Gary finally faced his friend, warily taking in the boy's sharp, attractive features; the long dark hair that was currently tumbling over his shoulders did little to alleviate the good looks. "I don't feel well," Gary replied. It wasn't quite a lie – lying to Darren would be useless considering the way he could see through his lies, much like his grandfather and May were able to.

Darren seemed a bit doubtful. "What did you get stung by this time?"

"Nothing, I just –"

"Got bit by something poisonous?"

"Venomous," Gary corrected automatically. "No, I'm just tired. I don't think I'm going to go with you guys," he said, referring to the plans the group had to meet up at the beach for a couple of hours of surfing and hanging out before going out for pizza. It was a common thing for them to do and Gary normally enjoyed it; he just wasn't entirely sure he would be able to maintain a cool façade. His thoughts were still going haywire and he worried that, with enough prodding, he might spill his guts to the other boys. If that didn't happen, it was likely that he would end up snapping at them for talking about girls so damn much – which he was sure they would do.

"Liar," Darren pouted. "Come on, at least for a little bit?"

Gary sighed and, not feeling like arguing, gave in. He was abandoning his normal stubbornness, but maybe going along would give him some sort of distraction from his troubled thoughts and his recent realization, even if he was going to be around six shirtless teens, two of which he found attractive. It wasn't as if he was going to automatically become sex-crazed just because he had realized that he was like Tracey.

Either way, Gary realized that things were going to be different and he doubted he was going to like the change.

… … …