Secrets Kept
*Updated June 2014 – originally chapter 12, just tweaked a bit, not much of a difference.*
Hurray for two-chapter updates! Here's part two of two. :)
It may or may not be obvious in this chapter, but I have a passion for shark research and parts of this were inspired by our most recent Shark Week.
Chapter Eleven
The flesh was rough under his hands but he paid no attention: his hands, forearms, and legs already bore abrasions from the sandpaper-like skin of the predatory pokemon. Two weeks into the research trip meant that the teenager was somewhat used to the mild injuries.
Slowly sliding his hand along the sharpedo's back from its head, he spread his fingers at the base of the dorsal fin, carefully feeling for the vein that ran close to the surface of the powerful musculature of the creature. A grad school student in her mid-twenties glared at him as she stretched a measuring tape over his head along the creature's back. Gary stood his ground and shot a glare right back at her, focusing on finding the vein even as the sharpedo thrashed suddenly.
Across from him, Professor Birch worked swiftly with two more grad students to affix a GPS tracker to the dorsal fin. Next to him, Professor Ivy used a scalpel to remove a small sample of flesh from a pectoral fin.
"Time?" Professor Ivy called out.
Professor Birch glanced up and met Gary's eyes questioningly; Gary shook his head. "Focus," the professor instructed gently, yet firmly.
"Eight minutes and twenty-seven seconds!" called a handsome young man from the University of Cinnabar. He was a marine biology major and Gary often found his gaze flickering to the older boy throughout the trip.
With both professors in such close proximity and the pokemon having been out of the water for so long, the pressure was on. Being the grandson of the great Professor Oak did not make Gary immune to it; if anything, it made the pressure all the more intense. College students, grad school or otherwise, were jealous and bitter of the fact that he was allowed to participate at such a young age and loathed the favoritism the two professors showed. He couldn't help it that the professors liked working with someone who actually took initiative and worked hard.
The handsome college student moved into Gary's line of sight, jotting down notes on the appearance of the sharpedo, and shot a small, reassuring smile at Gary. Gary took a deep breath and returned his attention to his search for a vein from which to draw blood. As the creature squirmed again, his fingers ran over a slight raise in the flesh and Gary pressed his fingers against it, pleased when he felt the slight pulse of pumping blood below the blue flesh.
"Found it," he breathed.
A blonde girl from Hoenn handed him a large needle and Gary carefully positioned it, pushed it in, and began raising the syringe slowly. He watched, transfixed, as the attached vial began to fill with thick red fluid. Once it filled, he pulled the needle free, capped it, and passed it back to the blonde girl, who frowned at him.
"Took long enough," she snapped. It was only the second time Gary had the misfortune of working with her and both times, thus far, had been filled with spiteful attitude from her.
"I'd like to see you do that with such an agitated sharpedo," the handsome marine biology major retorted from his position near thesSharpedo's head.
Stung by the girl's attitude but pleased with the young man's defense, Gary said nothing, keeping his head low as he rubbed ointment on the puncture left behind by the needle.
"That attitude is unnecessary, Jacklyn," Professor Ivy spoke up without glancing up from the vial that she was labeling. "I hear another comment like that, and you will be in the computer lab, crunching data, for the rest of your trip."
Gary heard the girl scoff and then retreat from the platform that sat just above the water on the side of the research boat. He sighed, eyes downcast, as he ran his hand over the rough blue skin once more.
He envied the water-type.
Though far from simple, they didn't have to deal with the hostile jealousy that humans could use as a harsh weapon. The pokemon were simpler than humans and Gary longed for a similar simplicity. He wanted to be free of the alienation he felt from most of the rest of the research team.
"Tracker attached," Professor Birch announced.
"Time?" Professor Ivy demanded once more.
"Twelve minutes and six seconds!"
"Alright, let's get this boy back in the water," Birch declared, standing up and making his way around the shark-like creature to Gary's side. "Come on, Gary, if we suit up fast enough, we'll be able to dive with them."
Gary sighed sadly, running his hand along the sharpedo one last time. He stood as the platform began to lower into the water and quickly climbed the ladder up leading up the side of the boat. The other members of the team were scurrying about, eager to watch the pokemon swim off. As he moved along the side of boat, heading towards the bow, he could hear the mutterings of the others: the usual sneers and taunts of the team members. He refused to ever give in to their comments, no matter how badly he wanted to; the last thing he was willing to do was hurt his chances of being involved in future projects by responding negatively to people he was stuck working with.
He reached a bench at the bow and retrieved his water bottle from next to his bag. No one else was there and he was pleased with the momentary privacy, but the pleasure was short lived as he opened the bottle and noticed that someone had spit in it for the third time this week. His anger got the best of him and he hurled the bottle against the side of the boat, cursing furiously. It burst open as it hit the side of the boat and rolled backwards to the bench he stood at, spilling water all over as it traveled.
Groaning desperately, Gary sank down on the bench. He was sick of the garbage he dealt with at the hands of his team mates. It was immature and horribly hurtful, though he hid it well, only allowing the frustration to surface when he wandered about the grounds of the Valencia University Laboratory late at night.
He heard footsteps approach and pointedly looked away from the direction they came in. A moment later, he heard someone open and fish through one of the coolers on deck. A few seconds later, someone held a bottle of Gatorade in front of him and Gary warily glanced up to see the same handsome young man who had defended him a few moments earlier. The drink was orange, a flavor he wasn't fond of, but the bottle was unopened and, thus, untouched, so he took it gratefully.
"They're assholes, don't let them get to you," the boy said as he sat down next to Gary. "I've worked with that Jacklyn girl before, at Seafoam Island, you should have seen the way she treated this one gay junior from Cerulean. It could be a lot worse," he offered.
"Good thing I'm in the closet then," Gary muttered, just barely loud enough for the other boy to hear. Realizing what he had just said, he stiffened, instantly regretting it. Had he really just said that to a near stranger? He mentally kicked himself and prepared for the worst.
The other boy stared at him for a moment, clearly surprised, then smiled faintly. "I know what you mean," he agreed. He stood and clapped a hand on Gary's shoulder, still smiling. "By the way, great job with the blood work today." He winked and sauntered off, leaving Gary feeling slightly confused and taken aback.
Gary felt something akin to shock: not only had the boy accepted his slip but he had essentially admitted to the same thing and then flirted with him!
This was the first time another guy had so openly flirted with him – Tracey was the only other guy to flirt with him and even then, it was never blatant. Tracey was far too shy and reserved to be open with his flirting. Gary's thoughts took a turn for the perverse as he watched the other boy leave the bow, but another voice cut through the fantasies.
"Hammerhead spotted off the starboard side, suit up before it disappears – they're damn rare," Professor Birch rambled excitedly, tossing his flippers and mask at him.
Gary blinked in mild confusion for a moment before his brain comprehended what the professor had said, then hid his drink in his bag before hurrying to the dive platform off the back of the boat. Swimming with a hammerhead shark sounded like a brilliant follow-up to working with the sharpedo.
… … …
Gary grumbled under his breath as he heaved a full tank of air into the proper place along the side of the boat. He couldn't help but wonder why he bothered to volunteer to help with the arduous task of cleaning up the boat every night when none of his peers appreciated the work he put into it. His two superiors certainly appreciated it but, then again, their professionalism prevented them from treating him like absolute garbage like his peers had been doing since the start of the trip. Further along the side of the boat, Professor Birch was taking an inventory of their materials, humming cheerfully as he left Gary to his own devices.
Sighing lightly, Gary returned to the air compressor and reached for another used SCUBA tank, pausing when he noticed a dark, lumpy, and sticky substance running down the sides of the next tank.
In the dim light of twilight, it took a moment for his eyes to recognize the dark reddish brown of congealed fish blood that had been sitting in a bucket on deck all day. A distinct feeling of disgust rose in him as he noticed a lump of fish guts sitting atop the tank, on the valve where the regulator hooked up to the tank. His eyes slid over the tank and the surrounding ones, noticing more chum spread over at least three other tanks and splattered along the side of the boat and the floor. The chum bucket was strapped in the corner of the boat, many feet away, and Gary knew that there was no accidental way for the repulsive substance to end up all over like this.
"Fuck!" Gary whirled away from the sight and slammed his hand down on the side of the boat in pure frustration. "Why does everyone insist on doing this stupid shit every day?" he exclaimed, pacing away a few steps before turning back and stalking over to the hose at the back of the boat.
He jerked the knob irritably and stalked back to the tanks to hose them off, cursing the whole way. Once they were clean, he turned the hose off and threw it back in place, angrier than he could remember ever being in the past few weeks that he had been involved in the research trip.
"Gary, breathe. Let it go," Professor Birch reassured from a few feet away.
Gary groaned, knowing that the professor had seen his momentary loss of control. The professor watched him for a moment, then smiled slightly. Gary could see from his expression that he had come up with an idea.
"Want to go for a night dive? There's a place not far –"
"How is that supposed to help everyone around here pulling this type of shit?" Gary blurted out, frustrated with the professor's lack of solution. He regretted it the moment the words were out of his mouth and he shook his head, raking a hand through his hair. "Forget it," he muttered, quickly resuming his task.
Professor Birch stopped what he was doing and walked over to where Gary was. He placed a hand over Gary's as the teenager hooked up another tank to the air compressor, effectively stopping him. Gary looked up at him challengingly but the professor smiled a bit and stood his ground.
"At this point in your career the only people who are going to truly appreciate the work you do are your supervisors – if you're lucky, there'll be a few others. The people at your same level are going to be jealous of the fact that you are younger and far more experienced than them, and they'll be blinded by that jealousy. There is nothing you can do about it, other than leave the profession and come back in five or six years. Of course, if you do that, you'll never have the chances you'll get if you keep up what you're doing. You just have to stick with it and ignore the others. I've been there, so has your grandfather, so has Ivy, Elm, even Rowan. There's a reason we're so well known. Go after what you want," he paused and smiled again. "In everything, not just research. No point in being successful if there's no one to share it with." He leaned against the side of the boat with a wink and watched as Gary turned on the compressor and filled the tank with air. "Speaking of, I hear your sister's friends are pretty interested in you."
Gary laughed sharply and switched the tank with an empty one, which he began to fill with a shake of his head. "They like me for the same reasons the grad students hate me," he replied with a touch of bitterness to his voice.
"Oh, I'm sure there are other reasons."
"Enlighten me," Gary shot back, rolling his eyes.
"There's your looks, your sense of humor…"
"Yeah, because sarcasm is so big with the ladies."
The professor laughed at the sarcastic response. "Maybe just looks then."
Gary straightened as he turned off the compressor, finally done refilling the tanks, and crossed his arms across his chest. "I attract shallow idiots – that's practically all there is in Pallet – and the one person I actually do like goes for someone who can't even properly feed his pokemon," he bluntly informed the older researcher. "That's my luck when it comes to relationships, so forgive me if I don't seem too enthused about trying to find someone to share 'success with'. Maybe one day I'll find someone, but not anytime soon, so there's no point in putting any effort into it when I still have so much further to go to become a researcher."
Professor Birch sighed, his mentor had warned him about his grandson's attitude and cynicism, but he hadn't expected to experience it so early into this conversation. He had, of course, planned this particular conversation with Gary after Professor Oak had confided a concern over the teen to the younger professor.
"Well, what do you know? We're getting somewhere!" he exclaimed, forcing a smile which faded when Gary glared at him.
"May put you up to this, didn't she?"
"No one puts me up to anything: I notice a situation or a concern and I take initiative. How do you think I made it this far as a professor at my age? With that attitude, it's no wonder you spend so much of your time back home with a hangover," he shot back, deciding to challenge Gary on the chance that he might actually talk.
"I don't spend that much time hung over," Gary frowned, wondering where the professor had gotten his information. Most likely May, one of the biggest gossips in Pallet.
"That's because you're young enough that you recover quickly. From what I hear, it's every day of the weekend and multiple times in the week. Are you sure you really don't care about finding someone to share success with? Because it seems to me that you care a lot and you're trying to drown those feelings rather than act on them –"
"I can't act on them!" Gary interrupted loudly, frustrated beyond belief at this point and certain that May had talked the professor into talking to him. He regretted announcing this fact the moment it slipped out of his mouth.
"Just because the girl is with another guy, doesn't mean you can't tell her how you feel."
It took a huge amount of effort to stop himself from rolling his eyes or correcting the professor. "That's not the issue."
"So then what is? Is it one of May's friends?"
Gary sighed and pondered his answer briefly. "Technically, yeah, they're one of her friends," he admitted.
"Then talk to her and ask her permission if you're that worried. I'm sure she'd give it."
Gary shook his head impatiently and paced along the deck of the boat. "You don't understand, you wouldn't – it's more complicated than that."
He wasn't entirely sure why he was talking so much and wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that he hadn't really talked to Tracey much recently or if it was the stress of the research work making him more talkative. He had always liked and trusted Professor Birch, so perhaps it had something to do with that as well.
"I doubt it's as complicated as you think it is. What, are you worried about your friends? Don't, I'm sure you don't like every one of their girlfriends." Gary closed his eyes and shook his head again. "If you're worried about them, then maybe you should bring it up with them –"
He stopped talking as Gary laughed a bit helplessly and rubbed his temples for a moment. He stopped pacing and rested his forearms on the side of the boat and gazed out at the still water of the small bay.
He could just imagine his friends' responses to him bringing up the idea of dating Tracey. Wyatt would taunt him the same way he had when Gary had refused to down an entire glass of rum with him a month back, "don't be such a faggot, Gary." In actuality, the other boy had been drunk and it had only been a friendly tease, but Gary had taken it differently. Darren would likely change the subject entirely, as he always did. "I learned how to play blah blah blah by random metal band!" and then he would play a riff on guitar, which was exactly what he had done every time Gary had worked up the courage to admit to him that he didn't like girls. It always diminished Gary's courage instantaneously and left him feeling as though his best friend couldn't care less. Mike, the homophobic fool, would immediately dismiss his friendship, he had no doubt of this, and he was certain Chase would follow suit – he always copied Mike. Brandon and Adrian would laugh, assuming that it was a joke – Chase would do the same, if he didn't have Mike's lead to follow first.
In the end, he would feel even worse. There was no point in even thinking about dating Tracey.
It wasn't worth having a relationship if he had to hide it.
"It wouldn't work out," he finally said sadly. "They wouldn't accept it. You would think, after millions of years of evolution, humans would be more open-minded but that's too much to ask for."
"You forget that humans are just animals who have evolved slightly differently. We may be more adaptable, but we're still animals. Some people demonstrate that more than others. And you might be surprised at how people exceed our expectations. So… night dive?"
Gary shook his head with a minute sigh but agreed in hopes that it would clear his mind and help him feel better. If anything, it would tire him out enough to fall right asleep upon returning to his room.
By the time they returned to the boat, Gary had all but forgotten his concern over his friends' approval of his interest in Tracey – and of the conversation the professor had started after the incident with chum and the air tanks. He and the professor both unhooked their regulators from the tanks and vests and began to rinse the saltwater from their equipment. They worked in silence for several minutes, the only sound being that of small waves bouncing against the boat and running water from the hose on board.
Professor Birch refilled the tanks wordlessly as Gary hung the equipment to dry overnight. Gary leaned against the side of the boat, watching the professor return the tanks to their proper place and then slip into the cabin to retrieve two glass bottles from a miniature refrigerator.
"Weren't you saying something about me getting drunk too often a little while ago?" Gary asked as the professor opened the bottles and passed one to him.
"Do you honestly think I'm going to let you get drunk?" The professor asked, taking a sip of his beer and leaning against the side of the boat as well. "It's one drink and I think you've earned this one." He was quiet for a moment before casually attempting to revive the conversation from earlier. "Seeing as we're already on the topic… Why do you drink so much? You've only just turned seventeen and we both know the Kanto drinking age is twenty-one."
Gary rolled his eyes and took a long sip from his own bottle. It was something of a rare treat for any of the teenagers in Pallet to be able to drink beer – cheap vodka, rum, and tequila were all much stronger and Wyatt, May, and some of the older girls were experts at getting it despite their young age. "What else is there to do in Pallet?" he asked the professor pointedly.
"Anything at the beach, anything with pokemon, sports… The list could go on and on."
"That's limited to the day. There's nothing to do once the sun sets."
Professor Birch frowned slightly, taking another small sip of his own drink. "You're telling me that you guys drink purely out of boredom? I'm not sure I buy that." He thought he saw Gary roll his eyes but couldn't be sure in the darkness. "How do you like being back in Pallet? It's been a year since you moved back." Gary gave a small shake of his head and groaned softly. "That doesn't sound particularly good."
"It's not," Gary admitted, surprisingly calmly. "I can barely stand it there." He left it at that and didn't say any more.
The professor waited a moment for Gary to continue. When the teen said nothing else, he pressed a bit more. "Why?" he asked curiously.
Gary sighed and drained the remaining fluid from his bottle, closing his eyes briefly as he turned the glass idly in his hands. Having had little to eat that day, especially within the last several hours, he could already feel the alcohol affecting him faintly. "It's just not a particularly enjoyable place to be around every day. It's fine for a week or two but then it just gets really old really fast."
Birch gestured for him to continue. "Details?"
"It's just being stuck in the same place every day, doing the same thing and seeing the same people."
"Ah," said the professor, nodding knowingly. "You're sick of being around your sister and Tracey all day, huh?"
Gary couldn't help but smile slightly at the mention of Tracey's name. "Tracey I can deal with, but May can be a pain… Not as much as her friends though."
Professor Birch smiled, pleased that Gary was actually opening up somewhat. He finished his drink, retrieved two more bottles, and passed another to Gary. If the small amount of alcohol would make him talk, then he would give them to him. "Her friends are annoying?"
"You have no idea. They flirt nonstop; I'm not even the slightest bit interested in them. I could care less about them."
The professor raised his eyebrows. "A teenage boy isn't interested in his older sister's attractive friends who keep flirting with him? Sounds a bit odd to me. You sure that girl you like isn't one of them?" he teased lightly, eliciting an eye roll from the teen.
"They're annoying, ditzy, and only care about fashion and partying. Could you honestly see me dating anyone like that?"
"Well, when you put it that way, it's a little hard to see it happening. Doesn't mean it's impossible though."
Gary took a long drink and shook his head. "I don't like any of May's friends that way and I am not interested in any of them," he replied firmly. "The person I like is nothing like them." In personality or gender, he added mentally.
"You say that now," Birch teased. "Opposites attract you know; another few years and you might end up with one of May's prissy little friends."
"Oh, I know opposites attract." We might have a lot in common, he thought in reference to Tracey, but we're definitely opposites. "And, I'm telling you, it is not one of May's friends."
"I thought you said it was?"
Gary shook his head, unable to prevent an amused grin from spreading across his face. "Not one of those friends and, no, I'm not telling you who it is. And I know you wouldn't be able to guess who it is either."
Birch laughed at this. "I wouldn't try to guess – I don't know that many people your age in Pallet. So, what is this person like?"
Gary shrugged, playing idly with the now-empty bottle in his hands. "Smart, quiet, artistic… Cute…"
"Knows a lot about pokemon?" Gary nodded in response to the question and Birch smiled. "Sounds a bit like a female version of Tracey, don't you think?"
Gary froze for a moment before he was able to shrug off the unexpected comment. He couldn't think of a verbal response to reply with out of fear of letting something more slip. Fortunately, the professor spoke up again and Gary didn't need a reply.
"Well, look at the time," he said suddenly, glancing at his watch. "It's almost midnight. Better get to bed soon, we've got an early day tomorrow."
Sighing in resignation, Gary moved away from the side of the boat and followed the professor on to the dock and towards the dorms that everyone involved in the research project was staying in. He felt a bit disappointed that the time alone on the boat with the professor had come to such a sudden end, despite the slight twinge of fear he had occasionally felt as the conversation turned towards his potential love life. It had felt nice to actually talk to someone who was a bit older than himself and Tracey and even May, but was still younger than his grandfather or even the parents of some of his friends. After talking to the professor, he couldn't keep his mind off of Tracey and couldn't help but think that, were he actually out of the closet and not so worried about the reactions of his friends and family, they might make a good couple.
Regardless, he was certain that the possibility was entirely farfetched and not at all likely to come to reality.
… … …
Thunder rumbled loudly as large dark clouds moved across the island. Lightning flashed nearby and Umbreon buried her nose deeper under the blanket that Gary had placed on the floor for her. The rain being thrown harshly against the window by the wind did nothing to wake her trainer, despite her soft whines. She had always hated thunderstorms and, back home, would huddle against Gary's side until it passed, often with Arcanine nearby. She would climb on the bed if it weren't for the fact that her trainer had stretched out across the entire thing, completely exhausted from the long day on the boat and the night dive with the professor, and slightly buzzed from the drinks they had shared.
Gary stirred slightly at a particularly loud bang of thunder but did not awake, despite it being three hours past the time he was normally woken up while working with Ivy and Birch's research team. The storm had approached in the early hours of the morning and the weather was nasty enough to call off the ocean work for the day so the professors hadn't even bothered with the morning wakeup call over the intercom in the dorms that the team stayed in at the small university that Professor Ivy's lab was a part of.
Sick of being on the floor, Umbreon huffed and jumped up on the bed, purposely stepping on Gary as much as possible while she searched for a comfortable position. Gary groaned and shifted under her weight.
"The hell, 'Bre? Get off…" he complained, burying his face in a pillow. She responded only by curling up in the tiny space between him and the wall, kicking him as she did so. He groaned again and rolled over to glance at his pokemon. "What? It's not even time to get up yet, Umbreon."
Another loud thunderclap sounded outside the window and Umbreon gave a small shudder, eliciting a sigh from Gary as he realized what her problem was. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug, stroking her fur. "It's just a loud noise," he murmured, still groggy from the rude awakening by his pokemon.
Gary closed his eyes and relaxed against the pillows again, still gently petting Umbreon. He hoped to quickly fall back asleep but realized that he felt far better rested than he normally had during his stay – as though he'd had a few hours of extra sleep. A glance at the alarm clock revealed that it indeed was several hours later than the usual wakeup call.
Cursing, Gary jumped out of the bed and grabbed a pile of clean clothes from the desk. "Come on, 'Bre – I'm going to be in so much trouble!"
Umbreon followed him as he hurried out of the dorm and down the hall towards the bathroom. As he headed down the hall, another member of the research team – a senior biology student at some university in Hoenn – appeared, heading towards his own dorm with a textbook under his arm. The older boy sneered at Gary, who rolled his eyes in return.
"Catch up on your beauty sleep, Oak?"
"I can think of someone who needs it more than me," he shot back and kept walking
Events like this forcibly reminded Gary of the way he had once treated Ash. It made him feel terrible but he couldn't help but feel that, on some level, he deserved the treatment, if only as karma for treating an old friend like shit for many years.
A few moments later, he found himself standing at the open door to the office shared by both professors. Birch and Ivy were looking over what appeared to be evaluations of researchers while speaking in hushed tones barely loud enough for Gary to hear from his place in the doorway. Birch was in the middle of complaining about one girl's lack of willingness to get her hands dirty when Ivy noticed Gary. She smiled and greeted him, gesturing for him to enter the already crowded room.
As he sat down in the one empty seat in the office, Birch quickly gathered up the scattered pile of evaluations, but not before Gary caught glimpses of the written words on the papers. He couldn't help but wonder who had been the unlucky person to have Professor Ivy write that they were "utterly horrible at working with team members" and had been "observed being exceptionally rude and even cruel to others." He was willing to bet it was that bitch Jacklyn from Hoenn.
"I take it you figured out we weren't going out in the boats today," Ivy observed calmly, leaning back in her seat and taking a sip of her coffee.
"I would think that the lack of an alarm clock being playing over the intercom at five-thirty in the morning would be sufficient to get that point across," Birch replied with a yawn.
"I figured it out when I saw people from the boat in the halls," Gary admitted.
He was only in the office for a short while longer while they discussed the plans for the final week of the trip before Professor Ivy led him down the hall to one of the labs so he could help out with some of the reports that needed to be added to the computer. Of course, he didn't so much help as do all of the work – the moment the professor left the room, all of the work had been dumped on him while everyone else talked and goofed off. Though this initially irritated him, he quickly lost himself in the work while listening to music on his iPod and the large amount of work was done in just a few short hours.
Once he was done, Professor Ivy had seemed surprised at the amount of work done in the short amount of time. Once she admitted surprise, the college students were quick to jump in and claim that they had all worked together to complete the work. Of course, the professor saw through the lies and smiled mildly while peering through the files on the computer.
"All of the files were completed correctly and are in the same format," she observed over Gary's shoulder. "With half a dozen people working on them, there should be some discrepancies between the files. Not to mention they should be spread amongst the six computers," she mused aloud.
"They were all compiled," a student from the Johto region claimed. Still facing his computer, Gary closed his eyes briefly, forcing himself to breathe and tune out the lies that the others uttered to the professor.
Ivy frowned and snatched up a three-ring binder from Gary's desk. "Of course they were compiled," she snapped, flipping open the binder and gesturing to the hand-written reports filling it. "They were compiled before they were entered by one person on a single computer! I've been working with researchers for over twenty years, I've been running my own teams for fifteen years; do you really think I can't tell when an undedicated child lies to me?"
She then proceeded to point out every single flaw she had noticed in each of the students during the two week duration of the trip before turning to Gary and praising his unending hard work. It was somewhat intimidating, perhaps a bit scary, to see a woman who was normally so kind and laid back turn into a cold and critical overseer, quick to forcefully show others their place. It just went to show that, no matter how nice and mild-mannered the most successful researchers were, they had all developed a hardened skin and were able to command a room full of twenty-something-year-old college students.
Gary was reminded about something Birch had said on the boat the night before – every professor went through the exact trials he was going through before becoming successful. Every trial he faced and conquered calmly and professionally earned him more respect from his superiors, as was indicated by Ivy's next move: an inquiry into his dissection skills, something which both confused and intrigued Gary.
"I've pretty much taken over dissections and necropsies back home," he told her honestly. It was true; his grandfather had taken advantage of the teen's strong stomach, determined focus, and attention to detail by sending pretty much anything involving a scalpel Gary's way. Though quite excited by the extra responsibility, Gary had also been frustrated by what he viewed as something like a reward for being a brat or a bribe to be better behaved.
The students all seemed to roll their eyes or mutter under their breath; obviously this was not going to help him when it came to them. Professor Ivy considered his words and nodded before directing him down the hall to a different lab where Professor Birch was preparing to do a necropsy on a dead sharpedo that had been found by fishermen the day before. The handsome young man from Cinnabar, whom Gary had spoken to on the boat yesterday, along with two students who had essentially ignored him for the entirety of the trip were in the lab as well, preparing to assist.
In what seemed to be no time, Gary was carefully slicing into the rough skin of the pokemon, guided by the professor while the Cinnabar student helped when needed. The other two students were delegated the task of photographing and taking notes of the procedure. Neither student seemed happy with this arrangement and, at the end of it, were as rude to Gary as just about every other student had been.
Frustrated and near his wit's end, Gary headed outside shortly after they were done with the necropsy, desperate for an escape from the juvenile bullshit that went on in the labs and dorms. The rain had stopped by now, the storm having moved on while he had been preparing to help with the necropsy. The air outside was humid and stifling, yet so much more bearable than the air-conditioned buildings of the university and Gary began to feel a bit more at ease as he meandered along the stone paths through the gardens towards the water. If he went towards the west, he would be at the docks where the research boats were located; of course, if he went there, he would risk running into others from the research team. Instead, he headed east, wandering through the woods before coming to a quiet beach that was currently empty, likely due to the overcast and rainy weather that had hovered around the island all day.
Even as he calmed down a bit, he was still incredibly stressed and frustrated. He couldn't help but miss Pallet at least a little bit; back home, he never had to deal with garbage like what he had been experiencing here. If anything, he always had support about his research opportunities and his friends and sister were often excited for him getting new responsibilities in his grandfather's lab or chances to do something new out in the field.
Sure, they would pick on him for being a bit of a nerd sometimes, but it was never in a less than friendly way. Gary suddenly felt the urge to talk to someone, anyone really, from Pallet. Tracey, of course, was his first choice but he didn't want to bother the other boy with his issues right now. Especially not if he had started dating the guy from the ferry; even if he didn't like the guy, he wasn't about to risk interrupting Tracey's time with him just so he could vent. He had actually spoken to May quite a bit in the last two weeks, largely because she had called him nearly every night.
Without really thinking about it, Gary slipped his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed the speed dial button for the house back home. At this time of day, May was likely to be home.
The phone rang only once before a familiar voice answered with a cheerful, "Oak labs."
"Darren?" Gary mentally cursed at the sound of his friend's voice. He had apparently pushed the wrong button and accidentally called the lab instead of the house, something he did far more often than he preferred to admit.
"Gary!" Darren exclaimed happily before immediately beginning to chatter on excitedly about what seemed to be absolutely everything under the sun.
Gary couldn't help but laugh at his friend – Darren, as intelligent as he was and as mature as he could occasionally be, was forever a six-year-old with his cheerful chatter and sensitive nature. He realized with a pang the he hadn't spoken to his best friend since an argument they had gotten in nearly a week before he had even left Pallet. The poor boy really did put up with a lot being his best friend.
Darren paused when Gary laughed. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing," Gary replied with a shake of his head. "I miss you," he admitted quietly.
"You don't say things like that very often," Darren observed, calming down a bit. "People still treating you like crap down there?"
"Yeah, they are," Gary sighed. He didn't even have to ask to know that May had been the one to tell him that and, as was typical for Darren, the other boy had quickly figured out the reason behind the call home.
"Well, at least you've gotten to go diving with all sorts of sharks and pokemon and stuff. That must have been awesome." Gary gave a noncommittal response; he'd certainly enjoyed the many dives he had done in the Orange Islands the past two weeks but he didn't feel much like talking about what he had done on the trip thus far.
Talking about what he had gotten to do would only serve as a reminder of all the garbage he'd had to deal with as a result. He much preferred hearing his friend ramble on about nothing important than actually talk.
"Wyatt and Chase are so jealous of you, man, they're under the impression that you're surrounded by babes and nerds so you must be getting so much pussy." Gary rolled his eyes at this, of course those two sex-crazed morons would think that. "I tried telling them that that's not how it is, but we all know how well they listen."
Gary sighed softly and shook his head. "I'm not even like that either," he pointed out. Hadn't his friends at least noticed that he cared about things other than getting laid?
"Yeah, I know – you're way more focused on the work you have to do than having sex with any girl who'll have you."
Gary hesitated a moment before replying. His first instinct was to somehow divert the conversation from the track it was starting to take, his second instinct was to point out that he just didn't care about girls, which would surely be a small step out of the closet with Darren. What is there to lose at this point? he thought to himself. Darren was being his usual kind and nonjudgmental self, which gave him a strange sort of confidence.
Gary drew in a deep breath and spoke again, forcing himself to sound calm and collected, despite the way his heart was pounding rapidly. "Well, there's more to it than that," he said slowly.
"I know," Darren said again, as cheerful and calm as ever. "There's types and all that, and I know you're picky with people."
Darren's response caught him off guard and Gary was slightly confused by it. "Picky?" he asked, wondering for a moment where the other boy was going with this.
"Well," Darren began slowly, as if he were taking a moment to think. "If you weren't picky, you would have already been with a bunch of people like everyone else, but you haven't, so I figured you were just picky."
His use of a gender-neutral word like "people" did not escape Gary's notice and he frowned slightly. Using gender-neutral words was usually his way of keeping his preference secret while still being a part of the sex and girl-based conversations his friends constantly had. Gary took a second to gather his courage once more before speaking again. "Picky is one way of putting it, but Dare –"
"Hold on a sec, Gary," Darren interrupted suddenly. In the background, Gary could hear his grandfather enter the lab and he groaned, kicking at a rock on the ground.
Figures, he thought bitterly. He knew that, once Darren came back to the conversation, his confidence would have faded. There was no point in trying to get the other boy's attention again.
"Professor, Gary's on the phone!"
"Wait, Dare – don't," Gary quickly interjected as he heard Darren offer the phone to the older man. He heard the phone being put down for the professor to pick up and he groaned. "Idiot," he muttered under his breath, waiting for his grandfather's greeting.
"Well hello, Gary. I'm surprised I haven't heard from you yet."
"Hey, Grandpa," Gary replied softly. He heard Darren say something in the background but couldn't make out the words. Whatever it was, it made his grandfather sigh and take a moment before speaking again.
"How is everything on Valencia Island?" the professor cautiously inquired.
"Fine."
The tone of Gary's response caused the professor to frown deeply. It was a flat tone with a slightly dejected edge to it that Gary normally adopted when something was bothering him and he didn't want to talk about it. "How is everyone treating you?"
"Fine," was the same flat reply, though this time there was a harder, defensive edge to it.
Professor Oak took a deep breath, counted to three, and exhaled slowly – May had told him days ago that the others were being terrible to Gary and Darren had mentioned it again just seconds prior. He was certain that the teenager had meant to call the house to talk to his sister; it wasn't unusual for him to be more open with May than most others even though, in recent months, Gary had pushed her away as much as he had everyone else – other than Tracey, that is. The professor knew his grandson well enough to read his tone and know that he was upset, the subdued greeting had been enough to get that point across.
"Gary," he began slowly, not entirely sure what exactly to say. "I know it's not easy to be the youngest person working on a team and I know some people will try to make it even harder, but it all pays off in the end. It just takes patience to get there."
Gary closed his eyes for a moment. "It's just frustrating," he admitted after a minute. "Everyone thinks I'm here because you're my grandfather or because I know Ivy and Birch already."
"I'm sorry to bring it up, Gary, but you'll always run into that problem. You'll face it all the time when you're trying to build experience and then some people will always question how you were able to gain experience at a young age. There really isn't anything you can do about it."
"I know that," Gary groaned.
"I have to be honest though," the professor continued, prompting Gary to roll his eyes slightly. The old man never seemed to shut up at times. "I meant it when I said you deserved this opportunity… In more ways than one." Gary frowned at this, unsure whether to be grateful or worried about what would come next. "On one hand, you really deserve the chance to work hard in the field with prominent researchers and prove your worth. On the other hand, you've been so rude and childish, and you've been getting into so much trouble this past year that you also kind of deserve this treatment: karma, if you will. I can't help but wonder if being humbled like this is exactly what you need to grow up a bit."
Gary was silent for several very long seconds, trying not to be so incredibly annoyed by the fact that his grandfather felt he deserved this treatment. Of course, he had a bitter and sarcastic response at the tip of his tongue but he chose not to say anything to acknowledge, or worse – agree with his grandfather's words and instead waited for him to speak again.
"I love you, Gary, you know that. Don't take it the wrong way," Professor Oak finally said, growing tired of waiting for Gary's nonexistent reply. "I just worry about you a lot with the way you act around home."
The words made Gary regret the mental come back that had been about to escape him a moment prior and he suspected that may have been one of the reasons behind his grandfather saying them. "I'm sorry," he apologized without thinking. He meant it, of course, but it had slipped out of his mouth without any thought or consideration being put into it.
"I just wish I knew what it is that makes you act that way."
Gary thought briefly of what he had been about to tell Darren before the sudden change in subject. He contemplated mentioning it to his grandfather then, when he opened his mouth to speak, realized that the words weren't going to come. He shut his mouth again and hesitated.
"I'll tell you one day, Grandpa," he finally said quietly. "I promise."
The professor was quiet for a moment and Gary could tell he wasn't the happiest with the response. Finally, Professor Oak replied in a slightly-flat tone that Gary knew he tended to use when he was disappointed. "I hope so, Gary."
The disappointment in his voice was well-covered but Gary still caught a glimpse of it. Though the professor was only disappointed in his grandson's seemingly-dismissive attitude and closed-off nature, Gary's teenage mind interpreted the disappointment differently. On one hand, Gary knew exactly what was annoying his grandfather and he could even understand it to an extent, but he also felt as though the professor was discounting the fact that something major was obviously bothering him. He had carefully hidden his melancholic moods from everyone – other than Tracey, who always seemed to be willing to try to cheer him up – his temper, his moodiness, the skipping school, and the withdrawal from his friends should have all been large red flags.
He suddenly felt exhausted, mentally and physically, and just wanted the conversation to be over so he could go back to his dorm and sleep for the remainder of the afternoon. "Look, Grandpa, I've got to go back to the lab," Gary lied, intent on quickly ending the conversation.
"I know you're tired, you don't have to lie to me," Professor Oak replied smoothly. "But, before you go… Darren and May aren't the only ones who miss you. I miss having my grandson around in the lab… And you know I mean that in more than one way. I'll talk to you soon."
A numb feeling joined his exhaustion as Gary said goodbye and hung up the phone. He continued wandering along the path he was on until he reached the beach. He headed towards the water, his sneakers crunching over the wet sand, somewhat compacted by the constant pounding of rain that had been present since the earliest hours of the morning. His grandfather's words echoed in his head and he knew exactly what the professor had meant. He knew that he had not been like himself at all for much of the past year.
In the end, he felt unbearably disconnected from his true self in way that he had never experienced before. It took a moment to sink in, but as soon as he acknowledged, even subconsciously, that he felt disconnected from himself, Gary realized exactly what the problem had been over the past several months. It had not been his friends, as he had originally blamed it on; it had been him. His friends had only been acting like straight teenage boys, exactly as they should have been acting, and he had felt the normal peer pressure to be like them.
It was an experience that was entirely foreign to him. He had been a fiercely independent child who never gave into pressure to do anything that he didn't want; plus, childhood innocence had prevented him from ever really looking into, or caring about, his own attraction to other males. He had then been away training until he was nearly fifteen and was largely focused on training, so never experienced much of the confusion of the early adolescent years. Working at Sayda Island until his sixteenth birthday had further prevented exposure to the feeling of sexual attraction and frustration, but especially the feeling of teenage peer pressure. At Sayda, he only dealt with people who were several years older than him – all in their twenties, except for Crystal, who was still a child – so peer pressure was nonexistant. On top of that, he was forever busy with working so he never had much free time to ponder his sexual feelings or attractions.
Moving back home to Pallet threw him into a complete and utter maelstrom of teenage hormones, pressure, and talk of nothing other than girls and sex. It was then that he had enough free time to notice and then focus on his own thoughts in a way that brought new facts about himself to the surface.
Somewhere along the line, there had been a disconnect and he had failed to fit the discovery of his sexuality into his view of himself.
He was never gay in his self-view. Gay was feminine, like his sister's few gay friends from Pallet – they were flamboyant and effeminate and loved fashion and shopping as much as the prissiest girls around.
He was nothing like that, in fact, he was far more like his friends than he cared to admit; he was athletic, he could care less about fashion and despised shopping so much that he had purposely 'lost' his car keys to avoid having to take May when her car broke down a month earlier. He was, in general, a typical guy, as was Tracey. Tracey, in Gary's eyes, was never gay: he was quiet, artistic, smart, intelligent, and just… Tracey. And he happened to like guys instead of girls.
So why couldn't Gary view himself the same way. Couldn't he just be the same as he always had been while liking guys?
Gary frowned, deep in thought, and then laughed suddenly. It seemed so stupid now. Here he had been such a brat to everyone and had been putting himself through misery just because he had failed to see that he could still be the person he had always been, even though he had discovered a key difference between himself and most other people that he surrounded himself with.
He gazed at the ocean for another moment, mesmerized by the waves that were still just a touch rougher than usual from the recent storms. In that moment, he made a vow to himself to stop with all of the teenage bullshit. His grandfather had been right in the car before he had left Pallet – this bratty teen was not at all who he truly was. He was still Gary, he just happened to like guys and the one guy he really liked was Tracey. He could deal with that
With a small, self-satisfied smile, Gary returned to the lab, passing the asshole students with his head held high, giving only an amused smirk at their ridiculous comments. If they had a problem with him being devoted enough to be involved with research at his young age, then they could go fuck themselves. He couldn't care anymore.
With all of his confidence unexpectedly restored, he knocked on the office shared by the two professors and grinned when Birch answered the door.
"I heard awhile back that there's a reef nearby that sharpedoes frequent. Want to go diving?" he asked.
The professor returned the grin and clapped a hand on Gary's shoulder. "That's the Gary I know."
… … …