Secrets Kept
*Updated June 2014 – originally chapter 13, just tweaked a bit, not much of a difference.*
Chapter Twelve
Tracey smiled faintly as he watched the ferry steadily draw closer to the Sunburst Harbor. He had mixed feelings about returning to Pallet and was simultaneously thrilled and filled with dread at the thought of returning to the lab, as was usual for whenever he was returning to his home Kanto from his home in the Orange Islands. The three weeks with his family had flown by far faster than he would have liked but he missed Pallet and was happy to be returning. Still, he hated to leave the island.
He turned away from the approaching boat with a small sigh and wondered briefly what the trip back to Pallet would be like and whether Gary had changed at all in the three week span that had passed since they had last seen each other. As he turned, he found his little sister standing behind him, looking sullen.
"You know, you could stay longer if you really wanted to," Marie said irritably, her arms crossed coolly over her chest.
"I could," Tracey agreed, nodding slowly, thinking out the best response to her words. "But my place is in Pallet. I need to visit more often though; I don't see you guys enough at all."
"That's for sure, brat," Tara spoke up, handing a large takeout bag full of food to Tracey. "Mom insisted on giving you the leftovers from lunch so you won't waste away on us," she explained with a roll of the eyes.
"Hey! My fried rice is in there!" Marie complained.
Tara rolled her eyes again but Tracey reached into the bag and handed Marie the little box of rice. He knew she wouldn't eat it but he also wasn't about to argue with a moody fourteen-year-old girl.
"What about my chicken?" asked another voice, this time Tracey's younger brother.
"It's for Trace!" Tara declared indignantly.
"I'm not going to eat it anyway," Tracey replied calmly, pulling out that box as well.
"I was kidding," the sixteen-year-old pointed out, taking the box of food with a shrug.
This time Tracey rolled his eyes but ignored it. His brother, Josh, was the typical little brother – annoying as could be. He and Tracey got along rather well and, if it weren't for the long, sand-colored hair and green eyes, people could easily mistake Josh, rather than Tara, for Tracey's twin.
"I want my chicken too!"
"Stop being a brat, Marie."
"Josh breaks your iPod and I'm the brat?"
"It wasn't on purpose!"
"It's still broken!"
"I still don't get why I'm the brat and not him!"
Tracey groaned and rubbed his temples, amazed by how quickly the bickering had flared up between his siblings. "Am I the only sane one in this family?" he asked loudly enough to halt the argument.
Josh grinned mischievously at his elder brother. "You're obsessed with a guy who's gay and likes you, yet you won't make a move on him. You're crazy in your own gay way." He shot a glance at the ferry, which was now pulling up to the dock. "Think he's on there right now? Maybe we can jump on and tell him you like him –"
"Josh, I swear I will hurt you so badly if you even think about doing that!" Tracey snapped, suddenly turning red.
"Oh, what's this? Did Tracey suddenly grow a pair?" Josh shot back; Tracey could see he was trying not to laugh.
"I'm going to throw your food in the ocean, you pain in the ass!"
"We all know you wouldn't dare pollute like that, Trace," Tara smiled. Out of all of the Sketchit siblings, she was the one that was somewhat used to hearing the occasional curse slip out of him. Josh and Marie just laughed, having recovered from their momentary shock of hearing Tracey swear.
Tracey bit his lip to stop from laughing with them. From behind him, he heard a familiar bark. Turning around, he could see that the ferry was at the dock closest to them, and a very recognizable umbreon had jumped up to balance on the railing of the boat. A second later, Tracey could hear Gary's familiar voice call to his pokemon.
"I'm not jumping in after you if you fall in, 'Bre – get down!"
Umbreon looked away from Tracey, wagged happily, and barked again before jumping down and running off.
"That's a nice umbreon…"Josh murmured, still looking at the spot where Umbreon had just disappeared from.
"Gary's a fantastic trainer, you should see Umbreon in battle," Tracey commented, turning to smile at his brother and sisters.
"Thanks, Tracey."
He turned again to see Gary standing at the same spot Umbreon had just been, leaning against the railing of the boat with a smile of his own. Tracey couldn't help but grin at Gary's sudden appearance. His friend looked genuinely happy, for once – tired, nearly exhausted, but in good spirits. He had grown so used to seeing Gary in a bad mood that it was impossible not to be surprised to see him appearing happy and in his surprise, Tracey was momentarily at a loss for words.
"Hi, Gary," he finally said after a moment.
Gary seemed to catch on to Tracey's speechlessness and gave a small laugh, shaking his head slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, Tracey saw Tara drag Marie away with a grin and giggle; Josh seemed torn between staying with his brother and going with his sisters but followed the girls after a moment.
Still unsure of what to say, Tracey shrugged helplessly and laughed uncomfortably. "My sisters both think you're hot," he blurted out.
Gary looked only mildly amused. His dark eyes flicked over to the retreating girls before settling his gaze on Tracey again, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Girls usually do," he said flatly.
"That's always the case with you, huh?" Tracey asked, frowning at the flat tone that his friend had adopted.
"It always seems to be the case… The people who are interested in you are the people you couldn't care less about, and the people you're interested in aren't interested in you."
Tracey had the distinct feeling that Gary was referring to the boat ride to the Orange Islands, when he had left Gary to be with a flirtatious gay friend. Rather than deepening his frown and acknowledging what Gary was talking about, he smiled. "And sometimes people you like are interested but you're too busy focusing on the people that you're not interested in to even notice."
This time Gary frowned and an unreadable expression came over his face. Tracey wasn't sure if he was angry or not. Before he could find out, a nearby intercom announced that boarding for the ferry would start shortly.
"I need to go say good bye to my family," Tracey sighed. "I want to hear all about your sharpedo experiences when I get on that boat!" He said to Gary with a forced smile.
Gary smiled in return but it looked just as forced as Tracey's felt. The brunette wandered off without another word and Tracey ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He couldn't help but remember why he had come home in the first place.
… … …
By the time Tracey eventually made it onto the boat Gary had completely disappeared from the side of the boat where he had been. It took him awhile to track down the teenager but he found him near the front of the boat, laying down on one of the benches, using his backpack as a pillow. Tracey shook his head and sat down next to him.
"Lazy," he teased.
"You have no idea how tired I am," Gary muttered, not even opening his eyes.
Tracey smiled. "I'm sure I have an idea," he replied. "Field work is very physical, that's tiring on its own. I can't imagine doing it for three weeks straight."
"Add in the scuba diving and data analysis…"
Tracey glanced down at him and continued to smile. Despite his exhaustion, Gary was as attractive as ever and Tracey was happy just to see him. When he was relaxed with his eyes closed, Tracey had to admit that he was rather cute. Without really thinking, Tracey reached out and touched Gary's hair, musing it slightly.
Gary sighed softly in response. "That feels good," he murmured. At the sound of his voice, Tracey realized what he was doing and quickly withdrew his hand with a nervous laugh. Gary opened his eyes and tilted his head back to look up at Tracey. "You know, I would love you so much if you kept doing that."
Tracey laughed. "Then people would think we're gay," he pointed out.
"I thought we were?"
"They would think we're dating." Not that Tracey had a problem with that particular notion, but he knew Gary would fret over other people seeing him as gay. Having expected the boy to sit up and scoot a safe distance away, he was surprised when Gary laughed and stayed put.
"Not like anyone on this boat knows us, so who cares what they think?"
Tracey was quiet for a moment. "You would feel differently if we were in Pallet."
"Everyone knows us in Pallet."
"You don't care what people think if they don't know you?"
"It doesn't matter what they think if they don't know you."
"But it does if they do?"
Gary groaned and closed his eyes again. When he opened them, he leaned his head back to look at Tracey once more. "I think it's safe to say you've killed the mood, Trace."
Tracey laughed and ran his fingers through Gary's hair again. "I wasn't aware that we were trying to create a mood," he replied as Gary sighed softly.
"Please keep doing that."
"What's in it for me?" Tracey teased.
Gary frowned slightly for a moment before responding. "An apology," he finally said.
Surprised and a bit confused, Tracey froze for a moment. "For what?"
"For the way I acted earlier. I'm just really exhausted; you know how I am when I'm tired."
"Yeah," Tracey agreed without thinking, "You can be an ass when you're really tired."
Gary glanced back up at Tracey in surprise and frowned again. "I really must be if even you're saying that."
Tracey was silent for a moment before replying again. "I'm sorry," he apologized quietly. "I know you always have a lot on your mind, it's not fair to judge the way you act because you don't act like yourself when you're stressed, whether you're tired or not."
"You don't have to apologize. You're always so nice to everyone; it's actually kind of refreshing to hear you insult me for once."
Tracey couldn't help but laugh at the response. "You are so weird," he said good-naturedly. "Though I guess that's what makes you so interesting," he added as an afterthought.
"Interesting, huh?" Gary asked, curious. "How so?"
"Well, you're kind of unique, you know. Your interests are really diverse and you don't fit any stereotypical images for anything."
"And everyone else fits stereotypical images?"
Tracey frowned, realizing how his words could be taken. "Stereotypes exist for a reason," he said slowly. "Some people fit them, whether it's because they genuinely are like that or because they think that's how they should be. It's one thing if someone actually are like that, but I hate it when people think they have to been something that they're not. I just prefer it when people act like themselves, in general," Tracey finished lamely, giving up on his explanation.
Gary smiled at the response and nodded, leaving Tracey feeling as though he had passed some sort of test. He felt simultaneously happy and confused at this, but his feeling of elation disappeared when Gary spoke next. "And where does your boyfriend fall in all of this? Does he follow stereotypes because he thinks he should, or is he actually that way?" he asked thoughtfully. "Either way, I have to question you. If he is that because he just is, then you have a completely different type than I thought and you're attracted to people who are not smart enough for you. Or, if he just thinks he should be that way, then what you just said doesn't match up."
Tracey paled slightly and narrowed his eyes. He should have known Gary would have brought that up and he realized how right his sister had been during their discussion on the swings at their family's house. "I don't know, Gary," he began slowly. "Because I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it a try; it lasted a week because he wasn't my type and because it wasn't serious in the first place. I don't owe you more of an explanation than that." He paused with a frown, eyes still narrowed, wondering if he dared to say the rest of what was on his mind. The hell with it, he thought. "Maybe the thing you should be questioning is why you care so much about what my type is and how intelligent the people I date are."
At this, Gary sat up quickly. Tracey recognized the signs of anger in his friend: Gary's eyes had lightened a touch and Tracey could see the flecks of gold and green that made his eyes so attractive, as well as the slight flush that had adorably darkened his cheeks. He had to force himself not to smile at Gary's annoyance and he found that his own anger had left him. It was difficult to remain angry with him for longer than a moment or so.
"I didn't take you as the type to mess around with relationships that aren't serious," Gary said softly, in a tone that Tracey couldn't quite place. The tone wasn't accusatory, nor was it particularly angry. If anything, Gary seemed confused, perhaps even a bit hurt.
The latter emotion was what confused and startled Tracey. "I'm not," he admitted quietly. "I don't know what I expected or wanted. I made a mistake and I ended up messing up a childhood friendship."
Gary sighed and gazed off into the distance at the water. "I know all about that," he said quietly.
It took Tracey a moment before he realized that Gary was talking about Ash. The trainer had come up in conversation only a few times but Tracey had the feeling that Gary regretted what had become of their friendship. He didn't know what to say in response, so he stayed quiet. They were both quiet for a few moments, and Tracey wished Gary would say something to break the uncomfortable silence.
Finally, Gary dropped his gaze to his lap. "You could do a lot better, you know," he said so softly that Tracey wasn't entirely sure he hadn't imagined it.
The words had been so quiet and even timid that Tracey didn't know what to make of them for a minute. The tone had clashed so strongly with Gary's normal personality that it was hard to believe he had spoken in the first place. It was undoubtable that there had been at least a small amount of hurt in the tone and Tracey had a question on the tip of his tongue that he was dying to ask.
"Are you… Never mind," he lost his nerve and backed off quickly.
Gary glanced over at him curiously. "No, go ahead."
"Are you jealous?" He wasn't sure what he expected as an answer. Silence, annoyance, and denial he could have, and would have, predicted, so he was understandably confused by Gary's sudden laugh.
Despite his laughter, Gary looked confused as well, almost as confused as his friend. He seemed to contemplate his answer as he laughed, as though he were laughing just to buy himself more time to come up with an answer. After a moment, he glanced back at Tracey, still chuckling and asked, "what, are you psychic?"
Surprised by the response, Tracey couldn't help but smile. The question might as well have been a confirmation. "Is that a yes?" he asked, nudging Gary lightly in the ribs.
To his surprise, Gary covered his face with his hands for a moment, shaking his head slightly, before uttering a sigh that was half laugh. "Yeah," he finally admitted. "I guess that's a yes."
Tracey was taken aback for a moment but grinned when that moment passed. "Wow. I can't believe you admitted that. You never admit stuff like that."
"Yeah, there's a reason behind that. Let's change the subject now: sorry for being a pain in the ass again, how was your trip?"
"You're an excellent subject changer, you know," Tracey laughed, he smiled when Gary rolled his eyes and gave a small laugh as well. "It was good. A little dramatic at the beginning with everyone on my case but… I really missed them." He noticed Gary seemed to be about to say something but changed his mind, looking everywhere but at Tracey. Tracey remembered suddenly that Gary and May lived with their grandfather rather than their parents; he made a mental note to ask the professor about it one day.
He was about to resume talking when Gary turned back to him with a forced smile. "So, three siblings?" Tracey nodded. "That explains how you can put up with me and May all the time. Are you the oldest?"
"Technically, my sister Tara is, but it's only a twelve minute age difference."
"You guys are twins?" Gary tilted his head slightly, as he usually did when he was curious about something, and Tracey nodded in response with a small smile. He enjoyed talking about his family, but Gary was also incredibly adorable when he did that particular head tilt. "I didn't know you had a twin sister…" He grinned suddenly, his voice taking on a teasing quality while his eyes lit up mischievously. "What else don't I know about you?"
Considering how much they had become such good friends in the course of the past year, Tracey couldn't think of anything off the top of his head to tell the other boy, so he shrugged and grinned. "For me to know and you to find out," he teased.
Gary laughed at the response; it was unusual for Tracey to be this flirtatious and he couldn't resist reveling in the moment. It had been a long three weeks since he had last seen his friend and it had been even longer since they had last been this carefree with each other. He had missed just hanging out with Tracey, their conversations occasionally taking on a playful and flirty edge while still capable of being serious and open. When his laughter faded, he frowned slightly, biting his lip as he wondered how open he dared to be just now.
"You know, Trace," he began after some hesitation. When he knew he had Tracey's exclusive attention, he continued. "Even though I really had a good time on the trip, there were some really… rough spots that weren't exactly easy to deal with. I actually missed you a lot. Talking to you and stuff… It really helps with everything going on. I don't think I've given you enough credit for everything that you do for me."
The words took a minute to sink in, but when they did, Tracey smiled softly. "Thanks, Gary," he said quietly.
Gary smiled faintly and shrugged, moving to lie back down on the bench. "It's true," he replied simply, closing his eyes as he rested his head back against his backpack. He couldn't help but smile a bit more when he heard Tracey chuckle softly and felt his long fingers muse his hair again.
"You should get some sleep, you've had a busy few weeks," Tracey suggested softly. He mused Gary's hair one more time before starting to retract his hand from the other boy.
As he moved his hand, Gary suddenly reached back and caught it. Tracey froze at the unexpected contact; it sent a small jolt of pleasure through him and left his skin tingling slightly when Gary left go.
"May used to do that to help me sleep when I was younger," Gary explained, tilting his head back so that he could meet Tracey's eyes.
"But you sleep like the dead."
"These days, maybe." When Tracey didn't reply or move, Gary reached back, took his hand again, and moved it back to his hair. "Please? It feels good."
Tracey chuckled again and shook his head. "You're so whiney," he teased. He ran his fingers through Gary's hair, laughing as the other boy groaned softly. "You're pathetic," he teased again. "And you're going to owe me when we get back to Pallet."
"I don't mind," Gary mumbled, eyes closed and suddenly sounding more tired than ever.
"Get some sleep, will you? We can talk when you're not ready to pass out on me."
A tiny smile just barely curved Gary's lips. "Just don't spend the whole trip sketching," he said quietly.
Tracey merely smiled and kept running his fingers through Gary's hair, watching contentedly as the younger teen drifted off to sleep within a few short minutes. Despite what Gary had said about the sketching, Tracey pulled his sketchbook out as soon as the other boy had fallen asleep. He spent a long while sketching the horizon around the boat, as well as the boat deck, before turning his attention back to Gary.
By the time he had his fill of sketching his sleeping friend, the sun was beginning to set and a glance at his watch revealed that he had been leisurely sketching for the last three hours. It felt good to sit back and take his time to sketch whatever he felt like sketching. He was usually able to find time to do at least one lazy sketch a day in Pallet, though he sometimes had to go out of his way to find the time. At his family's house on Sunburst Island, it had been nearly impossible to do so; there was always someone around. Whether it was a sibling or one of his parents, someone was always chatting or peering over his shoulder, or bickering in the background, as was normally the case.
Glancing down at Gary, he had to smile. Gary was the one person who would leave him alone when he was sketching, even when he was awake. Even if Gary was bored out of his mind, he would either quietly watch him sketch or do something else to quietly amuse himself. It was something Tracey truly appreciated and he doubted Gary realized how much it meant to him to have that quiet support. Gratitude welled up in him and he felt a crazy urge to kiss Gary. It wasn't a sexual feeling in the slightest; it was largely innocent, he simply knew no way to express that gratitude to his friend. The small impulsive corner of his mind brought up the kiss entirely without conscious input from his brain.
Cautiously, he returned his fingers to Gary's hair, luxuriating in the feel of the dark strands against his hand. Frequent exposure to the salty ocean water had dried his hair slightly but left it soft at the same time and Tracey loved running his fingers through it. He flexed his fingers slightly, just barely tugging at the strands, carefully testing how deeply asleep Gary was. Gary just barely stirred at the movement, giving no indication of waking; Tracey sighed quietly at the reaction. The urge to kiss him had disappeared when he realized just how tired Gary was.
He sighed and stood, wandering over to the side of the boat. He wasn't sure what exactly had come over him to even consider kissing him in the first place. With another sigh, Tracey rested his chin in his hand and gazed out at the water. The water was flat, surprisingly calm, and it reminded him of the little cove near his family's house. He tried to force the thoughts of Gary out of his head as he focused on the movement of the boat through the water. He leaned over the railing, searching for marine creatures as he took a deep breath of the ocean air. The action was soothing and it calmed Tracey's mind enough for him to relax and enjoy the salty breeze that followed the ferry on its trip to Pallet.
… … …
It was night time and had been dark for at least an hour when Gary woke up to a rough tongue slobbering over his cheek. His eyes snapped open to find a furry black face with brilliant crimson eyes an inch from his own. Umbreon was standing over him, wagging happily enough for him to wonder what the hell was going on. Gary groaned and sat up, absently patting the dark pokemon's head.
"Welcome back to the land of the living," Tracey's voice spoke up from nearby. "You realize you've been asleep for almost five hours, right?"
"That explains why it's dark," Gary yawned, looking over at his friend. "Is there a reason she's so happy?" he asked, gesturing to the wagging canine.
Tracey nodded and gestured towards the side of the boat, where they could see that the boat was rapidly approaching a set of lights. "We'll be docking at Pallet in about fifteen minutes. Plus she was trying to wake you up for a few minutes before jumping up on the bench, and she saw me get you this from the machine," he held up a bottle of Mountain Dew, "So she probably wants you to play with her."
Gary smiled and thanked him while Umbreon jumped down from the bench. "Happy to be going back home, 'Bre?" She responded by licking his face. "I'm too tired, you know that," he muttered as he took a sip from the soda Tracey had gotten him. "You know I'm going to need a gallon of this to feel awake."
"You would have a heart attack from all that caffeine," Tracey replied. He retrieved his sketchbook from the bench and flipped it open only to find that he had drawn on the page of the book. He groaned and snapped it shut. "We'll be home soon enough. You don't need to be awake for that long."
"That's good, because I intend on passing out as soon as we get there."
"You might want to wait until you get to your bed before doing that." Tracey glanced over at Gary and gave him a small smile that he was happy to see returned easily. Despite the rocky start they'd had to the trip, he was having a nice time with the younger boy. It was refreshing to see him smiling easily and being in a good mood. He had to admit that he'd missed his friend.
Gary seemed to be more awake by the time the ferry docked at the tiny harbor just south of Pallet. As they were gathering their belongings to leave the boat, Tracey teasingly reminded Gary that he had said that he would owe him when they got back to Pallet. Gary smiled at the comment. "Technically, we're not in Pallet," he said. "But you're right. I still owe you for getting past that pain in the ass part of Resident Evil."
Remembering what he was talking about didn't require a single thought for Tracey. He remembered all too easily the playful wrestling as Gary tried to get the video game controller back from him. "A kiss," was what Tracey had said when Gary asked what he owed him then.
And he, surprisingly, would have gotten it if Gary's friend Wyatt hadn't made his irritable entrance when he had.
"I remember," Tracey admitted quietly. He wondered where Gary was going with this. Suddenly he realized how close they had been as they were gathering their bags.
Gary grinned mischievously and moved forward, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. "That's for the game, and this is for today," he said and kissed Tracey's other cheek.
The other boy froze, surprised by the action. Gary laughed at Tracey's baffled expression and shook his head. "Come on, Trace; let's get out of here." With that, he hoisted his duffle bag onto his shoulder and grasped Tracey's wrist, leading him towards the opposite side of the boats they could leave.
Tracey came to his senses just in time to grab his last bag as he followed Gary. Umbreon trailed along behind them and though she was clearly still happy, her intelligent eyes held a confusion that Tracey could certainly relate to. He wasn't sure what to make of the two kisses. He couldn't tell if Gary was just playing around, going along with what had been a semi-serious joke over a month earlier, or if he was being serious.
As they came around to the platform leading to the dock, the gentle pressure on Tracey's wrist left and he realized that Gary's hand had been there the whole time. Tracy blushed at the realization and bit his lip to keep from grinning like a fool. Playing around or not, Gary had just taken things to a new level. It was that realization that simultaneously made Tracey ecstatic and scared. Friendships were fragile and too many things could go wrong; still, a little patience could go a long way and, for once, Tracey allowed a glimmer of hope to flow through him.
Gary stepped onto the dock, only to be pounced on by May, who had been waiting excitedly for them. Maybe there's a chance, Tracey thought to himself as he watched Gary return his sister's hug happily instead of irritably shrugging her off.
Maybe things weren't as hopeless or confusing as either boy worried.
… … …