Secrets Kept

*Updated June 2014 – originally chapter 14, just tweaked a bit, not much of a difference.*

One thing I've noticed in a handful of reviews/messages is concern (for lack of a better word) over the stereotypes of gays… One of the reasons why I wrote Gary and Tracey as they are in this story arc is to show that those stereotypes are not necessarily accurate. Yes, I do refer to the cliché feminine gays, but that is largely because that is the way so much of society views that sub-culture and that is the predominant image you end up seeing most often in the media and on tv, YouTube, wherever. I've tried to depict Gary as struggling with the fact that he is not that person, and that this stereotype does not define him as a person, regardless of his sexual preference. Not every member of the LGBT community will go through this struggle and Tracey is a good example of that. I wanted to show that a gay guy could like heavy metal and video games and could be intelligent, adventurous, and a typical guy, like Gary is – or that he could be a quiet artist who is smart and kind but still a totally normal person and sibling, like Tracey. I wanted to show how hard it is to come out of the closet to the people close to you and how scary those feelings can be when you're still a teenager.

Now, without further ado…

Chapter Thirteen

"Maybe I just want to kiss you."

"That's for the game…"

"A kiss."

"… And this is for today."

The various scenes swirled about Gary's mind, mingling with the feelings of his lips against Tracey's cheek and his fingers wrapped around Tracey's wrist. Though he had, true to his word, slipped off to his bedroom and promptly passed out at the first opportunity, the near kiss between him and Tracey and his own actions from the ferry kept running through his head. The end result was a jumbled mess of dreams as Gary's brain struggled to make sense of it all.

It was just as he was reaching a semblance of sense that an additional weight on the bed roused him from sleep. Still mostly asleep, he figured it to be one of his canine pokemon and he irritably pushed at the disturbance. When his hand brushed against flesh instead of fur, he immediately woke more completely.

A short, familiar laugh sounded from the edge of the bed. "You're not getting rid of me that easily," spoke up a bored-sounding voice. Beneath the layer of boredom and mild annoyance, Gary could easily recognize the cheerfulness in his best friend's voice.

Despite the small smile that formed at the sound of his voice, Gary buried his face in one of the pillows on his bed and groaned. "Can't I sleep in?" he whined.

Darren snickered and stretched out, folding his arms behind his head and lazily closing his eyes. "It's three-thirty," he pointed out calmly. He grinned when Gary groaned loudly once again. "Your grandpa told me to check that you were still breathing."

"He would," Gary muttered into the pillow.

"And May's been whining about you sleeping; she misses her baby brother," Darren teased. He rolled his eyes when Gary gave no response. "You missed out on all the fun this morning at the beach. There were some lapras passing by and a pod of dolphins hunting around us. It was pretty cool."

"I'm surprised you're not still there."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly feel like watching Wyatt shove his tongue down my sister's throat."

Gary looked up at him in surprise. "What's going on with Wyatt and Amanda?"

"They started dating and now they keep making out everywhere. It's annoying; I can't believe he would date my sister. It's not right, you know?"

"I hate to break it to you, Dare, but Wyatt's not the only one who's done anything with your sister."

Darren rolled his eyes and shoved his elbow into Gary's ribs. "You were drunk, Wyatt had egged you on, and you were trying to piss off May – Amanda had nothing to do with you kissing her. Wyatt – "

"Is always drunk and I doubt his main goal is to piss people off with Amanda," Gary interrupted. "He wants attention and he wants to feel good. Amanda's giving him that and she doesn't exactly seem to mind… If you're going to be so harsh on him, then you should be pissed off at me too. And how the hell did you know I was trying to piss off May?"

Another eye roll. "I think you underestimate how well I know you. I bet I know plenty of things about you that you don't know I know."

Uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, Gary finally climbed out of bed. "Yeah, well, keep it to yourself, will you?" he said, carefully keeping his tone light as he gathered clothes from around the room. "The last thing I need is to worry about you telling everyone all of my secrets."

Darren gave a small smirk, reminiscent of one of Gary's, as he sat up. "Oh, don't worry. I won't tell anyone about your secret relationship with Tracey."

Despite the voice in the corner of his mind that reasoned it was only a joke, Gary froze before spinning to glower at his friend, who merely grinned mischievously. "Shut up, Darren!"

"You know I was kidding," the other boy called as Gary stalked out of the room. "Defensive," he muttered once Gary was out of the room. He frowned after a moment, remembering how many times Gary had been defensive over little things in the past year - in conversations of girls, and girlfriends, and sex, and how many other little things in general?

The joke must have hit close to home. May had flat out said months earlier that she thought her brother was gay. Granted, May tended to come up with crazy ideas, so he wouldn't be remotely surprised if she was totally off with this. That said, it also wouldn't surprise him if it were true.

He waited a few minutes before getting up from the bed and wandering down the hallway to the bathroom. The door opened as soon as he tapped on it. "You know I was just messing with you," he pointed out, leaning lazily against the door.

Gary shook his head slightly and tugged on a t-shirt that had been sitting on the counter. He had clearly just gotten out of the shower a moment or two earlier. "I know," he replied.

"I know you know that, so do you think you could stop biting my head off for it?"

Gary suppressed a grin at the annoyance in his voice. "Sorry. I'm just tired."

He slipped past Darren in the doorway to head towards the stairs and the other boy followed him. As they headed down the stairs, Tracey rounded a corner downstairs, noticed Gary, and started up the stairs to meet them halfway.

"Your grandfather was looking for you," Tracey said, smiling as he stopped a few steps below Gary. "I think he wants to hear about everything you did with Professor Birch and Professor Ivy."

Unable to help it, Gary smiled at the sight of Tracey. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen the other boy in so long, but it was nice just hearing Tracey's voice and seeing him in person. "Is he in the lab?"

Tracey leaned against the stair railing, still smiling. "Where else would he be?"

"I guess he does basically live in there," Gary replied. Tracey laughed in return and Gary was suddenly reminded of how attractive he was. He grinned at the sound of Tracey's laugh and unconsciously stepped closer to the older teen. "The easiest way to get him to leave is to tell him that Mrs. Ketchum is on her way over."

"He has it bad for her." Tracey laughed at the response once again and Gary couldn't help it as his eyes roamed over him. He was attractive in general, but he was incredibly cute when he laughed.

Darren cleared his throat from a few steps above Gary and he was suddenly conscious of how close he and Tracey were. Tracey seemed to notice Gary's discomfort and blushed slightly, running a hand through his hair.

"I guess I should let you go downstairs to see what he wants."

"Yeah," Gary said softly, avoiding Tracey's eyes and avoiding looking back at Darren.

Tracey continued up the stairs and Gary quickly made his way down to the first floor, still avoiding looking at his best friend, who was trailing behind him. They headed down the hallway towards the lab and were nearly there when Gary realized that he could no longer hear Darren's footsteps behind him. He turned around to find him further down the hall, frowning slightly as though he were deep in thought.

"What?" Gary sighed, hoping that he hadn't given anything away in his short conversation with Tracey.

"You've been acting different since you moved home. What's going on?"

Gary sighed again, turning back in the direction of the lab door. "Darren, everyone is acting different; it's called growing up, everyone does it."

"I know that," Darren said slowly. "But you've been acting totally different, personality-wise. You're practically my brother, I know you and you haven't been yourself since you moved home. What's the deal?"

Gary bit his lip, wondering how to respond. There was no way he could lie to him - Darren would be able to tell and after all of the shit he had dealt with when it came to Gary over the last year, he certainly didn't deserve to be lied to.

"It's hard," he began after a pause, turning around. "When you're used to working in a real research lab, not just Grandpa's lab, a real lab where you're one of the supervising researchers, and you have to leave that because it's a requirement that you leave that to go to high school so that you can go to college, because apparently being smart enough to use your brain isn't enough. I didn't want to move home, Darren: I liked what I was doing, and I was respected for it. I didn't have to fight for respect like I did in the Orange Islands, I wasn't wasting my time having to do English homework or memorize the periodic table or any of the other bullshit we have to do at school. On top of that, there's always some sort of drama going on with someone and I'm just so sick of everyone always going on about pointless crap. I'm trying to get everything to work and it always seems like Tracey's the only person that gets me. Good enough response for you?"

Darren seemed to consider what he had said for a minute before nodding. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked suddenly.

Gary turned back around and closed the distance to the lab door. "I know," he said flatly, opening the door and stepping into the lab.

"Took you long enough," a feminine voice called as soon as the door opened. "Did you catch up on your beauty sleep, brat?"

"May, leave your brother alone," the professor's mild voice drifted from his office.

Gary rolled his eyes at May and walked deeper into the lab, heading towards his grandfather's office. "Hey, Grandpa," he greeted tiredly. "You wanted to see me?"

"Ah, Gary. Yes. I spoke to Professor Ivy this morning. She was quite impressed with you."

Having already known that the female professor had been impressed with him, Gary had to resist rolling his eyes. "Oh," he said simply, wondering where his grandfather was going with this.

"It was nice to hear, all things considered. With all of the skipping classes and fighting with your friends this past year, I was a little worried that you might end up embarrassing-"

"If you're going to lecture me nonstop, then I'm going to renew my Trainer license and go to Unova," Gary interrupted flatly.

Much to his surprise, his grandfather smiled at the interruption, though his eyes did show a touch of annoyance. "That's an empty threat," he replied calmly. Gary crossed his arms across his chest and met the professor's gaze evenly as if to challenge his words. "If you wanted to go back to training, you would have done so already. Now then, speaking of Unova, there is a conference in Castelia City in a few weeks. I'll be gone for two weeks and during that time-"

"I know," Gary interjected, sighing. "Tracey and May are in charge, so I need to do whatever they say."

"Actually, no. There's going to be a bit of a change. I've already spoke to May and Tracey about it, that's why I sent Darren to drag you out of bed."

"Change? But Tracey's your head assistant and May's always been in charge of the business side when you go away. What is there to change?"

"Tracey is in charge of general lab work, excluding necropsy work," the professor explained patiently. "He also oversees general pokemon care, excluding water, ice, fire, and psychic pokemon." He waited, watching as his grandson thought over what he had just said.

Gary frowned at the exceptions his grandfather had named. Tracey was usually left in charge of overseeing all of the pokemon while Gary helped him whenever he needed the help – he had no problem with this arrangement, especially considering that Tracey was exceptionally good at working with the pokemon and overseeing it all.

Having someone else oversee even one of the types of pokemon was a big deal, especially when it came to the four types his grandfather had just named off. The fire and psychic types could be downright dangerous to work with – it took a special type of trainer to work with them and the professor was very particular with how they were handled. The water and ice types required special care purely because of their aquatic habitat. Maintaining the man-made lake, streams, ponds on the property involved constant testing and treating of the water, and the biweekly cleaning of them required snorkeling in the streams and ponds and full scuba gear for the large lake. It was tiresome work and Wyatt usually helped with it, when he wasn't too hung over and they weren't in the middle of a fight.

It was not the sort of thing he would exactly trust his sister with.

"You're not leaving May in charge of those are you?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Heavens no! I'm leaving you in charge of those," Professor Oak cheerfully admitted.

Startled by the revelation, Gary frowned, blinking at his grandfather. "Can you repeat that?"

The professor smiled again. "You're in charge of any necropsy that comes up while I'm gone, which you already oversee, and I'm leaving you in charge of the water, ice, fire, and psychic pokemon," he rephrased, still smiling. "May has some grants to work on and she's helping Tracey with the smaller pokemon, like she prefers to do."

"You're leaving me in charge of the four hardest types of pokemon to manage?"

This time the professor frowned. "Well, when you put it that way, it does seem like a lot of work-"

Gary shook his head slightly. "That's not what I meant," he said softly, still trying to wrap his head around what the responsibility his grandfather was giving him. "It's just that it's a big deal. I'm surprised you would leave me in charge of that."

Professor Oak nodded faintly, now understanding what Gary was getting at. "Well, despite all of the troubles we've had in the past few months you've shown your worth and I've think you've earned it. So do Tracey and May."

"Thanks, Grandpa," Gary said softly.

"As I said, you've earned it… Though I do hope that this will help prevent us from seeing those same issues again this school year." Gary closed his eyes and suppressed a groan; he was not looking forward to going back to school. "Especially the skipping class," the professor continued. "I know you're bored but messing around and skipping school won't make it any easier." Gary gazed out the window, pointedly avoiding looking at his grandfather and hoping that the older man would take the hint and stop talking. "Gary?"

He rolled his eyes slightly but returned his gaze to his grandfather with a small sigh. "Got it," he replied flatly. "I'll be good."

"Good," the professor walked to the office door and opened it, holding it open for the teenager. "Go hang out with your friends, you haven't seen them in a while. And stay out of trouble!"

"I haven't even been back for twenty-four hours yet! How much trouble do you think I can get into?" Gary asked in exasperation, though smiling slightly, amused by his grandfather.

"I know you better than that."

"I know you do," Gary replied simply, heading over to where Darren and Tracey had joined May at one of the lab benches.

His sister grinned at him and waited until their grandfather had retreated back into his office before speaking. "I think this new promotion of yours calls for a celebration," she said impishly.

Tracey frowned but said nothing while Darren grinned at May. "We could use a good party," he agreed, looking over at Gary for his agreement as well.

To his surprise, Gary shook his head. "It's a lot of responsibility," he said slowly, meeting Tracey's eyes across the lab bench. The older boy nodded in agreement. "I don't know that having a party would be the best idea."

"I'm not getting involved any more than to say that I don't think it's a good idea to do that here," Tracey spoke up. "This is a lot of work and you know I'll help you if you need it, but I'm not responsible for those pokemon anymore. I won't take the blame for you if you mess up because you decided to get drunk with your friends."

"Party pooper," May pouted. Gary and Tracey both ignored her.

Thinking back to the epiphany he'd had in the Orange Islands after speaking to his grandfather on the phone that one stormy day, Gary knew getting trashed with his friends would not be the wisest move. It wasn't healthy, mentally or physically, to keep doing that. "This isn't something I want to screw up on," he said, looking from his sister to Darren. "I'm going to side with Tracey on this one."

Though Gary's decision didn't bother him much, Darren playfully mimicked May's pout. "You're supposed to side with me, I'm your best friend!" he joked.

Gary shrugged, smirking at him. "Maybe I'm replacing you with Tracey."

… … …