Secrets Kept

Just a quick FYI – if the number of chapters seems different, it is! I didn't delete any chapters or anything like that, I just consolidated the original first and second chapters into one. The prologue stayed, though I considered deleting it entirely (still might do that, to be honest). I went back and glanced through each chapter and corrected a few typos that slipped through, maybe changed a few wordings here and there, and corrected the chapter numbers to reflect the two combined chapters. Overall, not much changed!

To make up for my absence for the last few months, enjoy this extra long chapter that was actually meant to be two chapters! Essentially, you're getting a three chapter update!

Chapter Seventeen

Things should have been awkward after the kiss that Gary and Tracey had shared, oddly though, there was no awkwardness between the two teens. In all likelihood, this was actually due to them not seeing each other except for in passing over the next several days. The professor had allowed Gary to take over a week off from his duties in the lab and Tracey, always being willing to help out, had stepped up to fill in for his friend, even on top of completing his own work. Gary spent almost the entirety of each day off at the hospital in Viridian visiting his injured friend who was doing well, but was developing a serious case of boredom.

This brought them up nearly to the start of school, which Gary seemed to have forgotten about while being so preoccupied with spending time with his friends, at least until his grandfather reminded him of it. An argument had ensued, ending only when the stubborn teen had stormed off to his bedroom, where he was currently hiding out, still fuming despite having calmed down a bit.

It was an argument they'd had several times now, based on whether or not Gary really needed to continue at the local high school. Technically, he didn't. Pokemon trainers left school to go on their journeys and would return to school if they left training without going into some other field, like research or being a coordinator. If they left training and didn't go into one of those fields before turning sixteen, they were supposed to return to school. If they wanted to go to college, they needed to have either graduated high school or passed a college entrance exam, and few colleges other than small community colleges allowed the second option anymore. This was one reason why most high schools offered a two year plan, which Gary was currently half-way through.

There was yet another option, however, that some high schools in Kanto would allow – Pallet's small school being one of them. If a student could pass the end-of-course exam for a class, they could skip it. It was possible, though rare, to pass the exam for all courses and graduate without needing to take any courses. This was what Gary had been arguing for while his grandfather wanted him to finish the year in school.

Before moving home, Gary hadn't been thrilled with the idea of two years of high school in Pallet but was, overall, okay with it and would deal with it so long as he got to work in the lab in his spare time. After dealing with it, plus his friends and struggling to come to terms with being gay, for a short time, he had decided he really would rather just take the exams and be done with it.

Now, after having been out in the field over the summer, he just wanted to jump straight back into research. If he had it his way, he would never have to set foot back in a high school classroom. His grandfather's stubbornness was the only thing preventing him from doing just that.

When a knock came at his bedroom door, Gary merely rolled his eyes and ignored his grandfather when the man called his name through the door. He didn't feel like dealing with him and didn't even glance away from his computer screen as another knock sounded. It was teenage petulance at its best and Gary knew it, but gave it little thought.

"Gary, come on. This is childish," the professor called a moment later.

Gary sighed and glanced over at his stereo, wondering if he should turn it up to drown out his grandfather's voice. Sometimes it worked and the professor would relent and head back downstairs, other times it just annoyed him even more.

"Gary," Professor Oak called again, sounding as though he was trying his best to suppress his irritation. "I know you're thinking of turning the volume up. The stereo is next to the door, you have to get up either way; you might as well just let me in."

The old man may as well have read his mind about turning up the volume. Gary laughed a small, humorless laugh and put his head down atop his desk for a moment. He sighed again a few seconds later when his grandfather called him again.

"Fine," he huffed in annoyance as he stood and opened the door. Without even looking at his grandfather, he turned and headed to his bed. Tumbling onto the bed, Gary slid his arms under a pillow and buried his face into it tiredly.

"I have a proposition," the professor said simply as he stepped into the room.

"It better not involve me going to school on Monday," Gary retorted, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Professor Oak closed his eyes and clenched his jaw for a moment; he couldn't wait until Gary was no longer a teenager and he no longer had to deal with this teenage moodiness. "It doesn't," he replied. He had to resist the urge to laugh when he saw how quickly Gary sat up in response. "I just spoke with Professor Elm and he's had a development in Johto that ties into the bird pokemon research I did a few years back. He's asked me to join him for a week or so." To his surprise, Gary said nothing and merely looked at him expectantly. "Obviously I will need you in the lab so I'm not going to ask you to go to school those days."

"What about when you come back?" Gary asked, forcing his voice to stay flat. He couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that his grandfather might just let him do what he wanted.

"I'm going to think about it while I'm gone." Deflating quickly, Gary groaned loudly and flopped back onto the bed, eliciting a sigh from his grandfather. "My decision is going to be partially based on how you act between now and when I leave in two days, so perhaps it would be a good idea to head on down to the hospital to visit Wyatt today and then join us in the lab again tomorrow. If you'll just be childish, then tell me now."

Gary was silent as he sat back up. He was still annoyed over the whole situation but he had a feeling this was as far as he was going to get with his grandfather on this topic. He nodded faintly to show his understanding before speaking up again.

"You know that I would be happier doing something more meaningful," he said as evenly as possible, trying his hardest to keep all remaining annoyance out of his voice.

He picked idly at the comforter on the bed, knowing that this was likely the last chance he was going to have to make his point without pushing his grandfather's patience to the breaking point. He had to tread carefully if he didn't want the old man to make him go forward with school, but if he knew if he could somehow play into the professor's sympathies, then he could sway the final decision. It was all a matter of careful wording and even more careful control of his emotions, no matter how irritated he got.

The professor nodded. "Then make me proud while I'm gone, please. The last thing I want is a repeat of last year," he replied firmly. His voice and expression softened slightly as he regarded Gary for a moment. Knowing the boy as well as he did, it was obvious what he was doing and didn't feel particularly inclined to play along at the moment. "Even with the recent stresses, you've been in far better spirits than you have been for nearly a year. This isn't you going back to being –"

"No, Gramps," Gary interceded wearily. "This is just me trying to get back to doing what I really want. I miss actually doing research all the time," he admitted.

It was unusual for him to make such a vulnerable admission and the professor knew that. Hearing Gary say such a thing made him stop and think for another moment. It had been very close to this time last year that Gary's mood had taken a swift turn and Professor Oak had to wonder if there was a connection between that and the attitude he was seeing today. He had been seeing glimpses of irritability over the last week before today's argument but had attributed it to lack of sleep on Gary's part, something evidenced not only by the dark circles under Gary's eyes, but also by finding the boy awake far later at night and far earlier in the mornings than was even close to normal.

After this afternoon's argument and now this conversation, however, he had to question if lack of sleep was the only cause or if school was linked to the young researcher's mood far more than he had previously thought.

The professor regarded Gary critically for a moment as he thought over this potential connection. Finally, he asked, "Is that the reason behind the attitude?"

Mildly surprised by the question, Gary frowned. When he thought about, it made sense for his grandfather to think this. After all, there were really only two externally visible (to most people, at least) possible reasons behind the way he had acted for the past year: returning to Pallet and going to school. Truthfully, these two reasons did come into play, but they were far from the main reason.

Not for the first time, Gary found himself contemplating telling his grandfather the real reason. Surely he would understand how dealing with figuring out his sexuality could result in such different behavior – the older man had always been open-minded and accepting after all. Lurking below this sureness was something darker and far less based in reality: fear.

In all likelihood, the professor would accept the admission with a smile. There would be questions, of course, but the conversation would then turn to research, as it was so prone to do when his grandfather was involved. Regardless of how likely this response was, there was still the possibility, no matter how slim, that the actual response would be far different. It was possible that the professor wouldn't be accepting of this new bit of information. Granted, this was not particularly likely, but the possibility still crept into Gary's mind.

It was this slim possibility that made Gary nod his head faintly. "Yeah," he agreed softly, dropping his gaze back down to the comforter on the bed and picking at it distractedly. "Pretty much."

Noticing the hesitation, Professor Oak narrowed his eyes slightly. Even if Gary hadn't hesitated before replying, the way he dropped his gaze would have caught his attention: it was a sign that Gary wasn't being entirely honest. There had to be more to this story but getting personal information out of Gary could be a delicate and lengthy process, especially when maneuvering around the teen's pride. Right now there just wasn't time for that and even if there was time, he couldn't bring himself to pry.

Instead, he simply smiled. "Okay," he said, indicating that he was accepting the answer even when he knew there was more to it than what Gary had said. "I'd like you in the lab tomorrow, though."

Gary nodded again, still gazing at the blanket on his bed. He wasn't entirely sure why, but not coming out to his grandfather was eating away at him. It hadn't been a lie, but it wasn't completely honest and he was almost tempted to call the professor back into the room after he had left so that he could tell him.

In the end, he had to admit to himself that this just wasn't something he was ready to face yet.

… … …

After the argument and the following conversation in his bedroom, it seemed as though Gary couldn't get a grip on his thoughts. No matter what he did, his thoughts just kept drifting back to the end of the conversation with his grandfather. He tried to focus on other things, but just couldn't: he was simply too distracted.

It wasn't long after the professor had left his room that May had wandered in, about to head out to Viridian for a shopping trip at the mall, and offered to drive him over to the hospital to visit his friend. He had taken her up on the offer and spent the ride barely hearing May and her friend Amanda singing along to the obnoxious pop music playing on the radio. He was too distracted by his wandering thoughts to even really notice their unbearable singing. Most of the trip was spent idly wondering what exactly was wrong with him that his confidence disappeared altogether when the thought of talking to his grandfather, sister, or closest friends about his sexual orientation came up.

No matter how desperately he wanted to tell anyone, his heart would pound and the words would simply escape him. Only Tracey had somehow wormed his way around this, though Gary attributed it to his attraction to the older teen.

That afternoon's visit to the hospital was unremarkable; with two of his other friends there, it was rather like hanging out back in Pallet. The conversation topics were much the same, though punctuated with occasional interruptions from nurses. Though it was nice to spend time hanging out, Gary found his mind still wandering as focus completely eluded him. Finally, frustrated beyond belief, he called his sister in hopes that she would be ready to head back to Pallet and would pick him up on her way home. She wasn't but soon after hanging up with her, he received a text from Tracey that he was on his way.

Less than an hour later, Gary was hesitantly climbing into his grandfather's car, driven by Tracey. The older teen noticed the slight hesitation and figured it likely had something to do with the brief kiss they had shared nearly a week prior, but said nothing.

The ride out of Viridian City was silent and mildly uncomfortable. Both knew that the kiss was hanging in the air between them, needing to be addressed, but neither could bring themselves to bring the topic up.

Itching to break the silence, Gary finally spoke up. "Considering Gramps is going away, I'm surprised he let you out of the lab," he joked.

Tracey smiled lightly. "It's not like he holds me hostage there, you know," he retorted easily.

"I know," Gary replied, relaxing slightly as the silence broke as calmly and easily as ever. "He just usually likes having everyone in the lab when he's getting ready to go somewhere."

"That's probably actually why he sent me to get you after May called whining about you being mad at her."

Gary groaned loudly and leaned his head back against the seat, his relaxed state gone. "Figures… How pissed off is Gramps?"

Tracey shrugged his shoulders, his easy smile never leaving. "He was a bit annoyed with her since she was supposed to drive you home." He sent a sideways glance at Gary, a little confused as to why May was supposed to be his ride in the first place. "When it comes to you, I think he's just confused."

"That makes two of us," Gary sighed.

Unsure of what to say in response, Tracey focused on driving. He chewed on his bottom lip as he searched for something more to say. There were many things he wanted to say and many more questions that he wanted to ask but finding the proper moment and the courage to bring them up in conversation was extraordinarily difficult.

"Why did you have May drive you today?" he finally asked after several moments of silence.

Gary, who had been resting his head against the window with his eyes closed, opened his eyes slowly and glanced back over at his friend. "I just didn't trust myself driving today," he admitted, closing his eyes once more and trying to let himself relax once more.

"Why is that?"

"Just couldn't focus on anything today."

This admission left Tracey confused. Gary had been fine that morning: tired, certainly, but otherwise normal. "You focused on that argument with your grandfather just fine," he pointed out.

"That was this morning," Gary replied cryptically. He didn't particularly feel like bringing this conversation into the direction Tracey was steering it. Though he had been itching to break the uneasy silence early in the car ride home, he now just wanted to relax in the quiet atmosphere of the car until they got back to Pallet.

"So? If that was this morning, what changed?" Tracey asked. Typically, if Gary's demeanor changed from one part of the day to another, it had something to do with that ever-present internal struggle regarding being gay.

Gary shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. It was only a matter of time before Tracey got to the bottom of what was bothering him, or brought up the kiss they had shared. "I didn't sleep well last night," he evaded.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Tracey shot another glance over at the younger teen. "That would have affected you this morning as well." He observed Gary through a series of sideways glances, watching for clues that would tell him what was going on.

No matter how much the researcher would like to believe otherwise, Gary was always easy to read, once you knew his body language. It was always the same, and this time was no different. The downcast eyes, that particular degree of tenseness in his shoulders… If Tracey had seen it once, he had seen it a hundred times. It never changed.

"You almost told him, didn't you?" Tracey asked, keeping his eyes on the road. From the corner of his eye he could see Gary turn to face him suddenly, clearly surprised by Tracey's question.

Gary quickly hid his surprise and kept his voice impassive, almost bored. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter," Tracey replied, shaking his head. He could see straight through the act. "It's the same thing all the time, Gary. You do this at least once a month." Gary sighed and rubbed his face, suddenly appearing more tired than ever as he dropped the disinterested act. "You have to stop doing this to yourself, you know. It's not good for you."

"Can we not talk about it?"

"If you want, but we both know you'll be knocking on my bedroom door tonight, needing to talk to someone."

Choosing not to reply, Gary gazed out the window and hoped Tracey would drop the subject. Fortunately, the older teen said nothing more.

A few more moments passed in silence. As they approached Pallet, another thought occurred to Gary and he couldn't help but break the silence once more.

"Did Gramps say anything about how we're splitting the work in the lab while he's gone?" Having been out of the lab for a little over a week, he couldn't help but wonder if his grandfather would go back to having Tracey oversee the majority of the work.

"Same as last time," Tracey replied, nodding slightly. "You haven't lost any of your responsibilities, though you may need to find a new helper with maintaining the ponds and lake since Wyatt's still in the hospital."

Another groan escaped Gary at this fact. He hadn't thought of that particular issue. Maintaining the aquatic habitats was enough of a pain in the ass with an able friend helping out whenever he needed it. It would be damn near impossible to maintain them should anything need doing while he and Tracey were trying to run the entire lab on their own.

"Maybe I can talk May into helping me," Gary mused to himself. Tracey made a sound that was part groan and part sigh; Gary glanced over at him as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "What?"

"May's already got other thoughts."

"Not a party," Gary groaned as they reached the outskirts of Pallet.

"Of course a party," Tracey confirmed. "What else would it be?"

Gary shook his head as he wearily watched Pallet's green scenery pass by the window as they approached the lab. "Why do I have the feeling this is going to be a complete disaster?"

…. … ….

After having been left in charge of the lab many times in the last several years, Tracey had no doubt in his mind that he could handle this particular trip the professor was making. Even with May talking about throwing a party sometime in the next few days, he saw little need for concern. After all, May had always made a point of not interfering with the work in the lab and always cleaned up the house afterwards so the professor was none the wiser when he returned. Of course, having Gary split the work in the lab only made things even easier. Running the lab for a week and half should be a breeze.

Despite everything that should have made it easy, so many things seemed to go wrong that after four days, Tracey felt like slamming his head against the wall and hiding in his bedroom for the next month.

A horrible storm had swept through on the first afternoon that the professor was gone. The whole evening was spent running around the ranch and recalling water-sensitive pokemon and tending to the two fences that were knocked down by the wind. Afterwards, they had to tend to the ponyta and rapidash stables, which had flooded, and the ponds and streams, which had overflowed and now had entirely messed up levels.

It didn't help matters that May was almost never around when they needed help and if she was around, she wasn't willing to get her hands dirty by helping them. She was never in the lab when she was supposed to be, only adding on to the boys' work. As if this wasn't enough, Gary had managed to sustain both a twisted ankle and a particularly nasty gash on his arm from an especially angry nidorino in the last two days. Both teens pushed through the hard work, staying in the lab or on the ranch well past nightfall and beginning their work before the sun rose. They hardly stopped throughout the day and likely would have gone without eating had it not been for Delia Ketchum stopping by with lunch in the early afternoon and dinner in the evening.

They were both exhausted and each nearly at his wit's end after only four days. It was on the fifth day that a turning point was reached.

The problems in the lab were starting to work themselves out and the boys were able to get through the work for the day by the early evening. Though the lab stresses were waning, they were still worn out and needed a good nights' sleep to get back to themselves. It was that evening that they entered the house to find several bottles of liquor on the kitchen counter. There wasn't enough for a party, but it was a definite red flag for an upcoming one.

May entered the kitchen just as the boys paused in the middle of the room, each taking in the sight of the bottles on the counter. Both boys knew exactly what May was up to and neither could help but feel irritated with the fact that she was so determined to party with her friends rather than help out. Oblivious to this, May chirped out a cheerful greeting, musing her brother's hair as she crossed the room and hoisted herself up on the counter with a grin.

"I was able to get these in Celadon today," she happily explained. "They didn't even ask for my ID!"

Shaking his head, Tracey retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator and tossed another to Gary. "May, we really could have used an extra hand in the lab today," he said mildly.

Surprisingly, Gary only nodded as he took a sip of his water. Tracey had expected him to immediately scold his sister for being so uninvolved on yet another day where she was supposed to help out.

May crossed her arms across her chest and sighed dramatically, though she still wore an impish smile. "Oh, come on, you two! Live a little!"

Tracey frowned, feeling his rarely-seen temper flare at her off-hand comment. "It would much easier to do that if all three people who are supposed to be working in the lab would do their job. Right now, it's just me and Gary doing the work of four people."

"If May keeps messing around like this, it'll be only three people in the lab," Gary mused. He swirled his drink and leaned against the counter, still seeming far more calm than either his friend or sister would have expected. "Gramps isn't going to put up with this shit."

"Aw, are you going to tattle on me, Gary?" May asked, pouting playfully.

Gary rested his arms on the counter behind him and leaned back casually. His eyes flicked upwards as he idly gazed up at the ceiling, appearing to think about the question before easily meeting May's eyes. "No," he replied simply. May and Tracey seemed surprised by this response and Gary couldn't help but smirk. "Not if you cancel whatever ridiculous plans you're working on and actually get off of your ass and help us like you're supposed to be doing."

Tracey forced back a smile, instead taking another sip of his drink. He should have known that Gary was up to something. Planning to blackmail his sister into helping out in the lab would certainly explain why he had been so calm upon May's arrival in the kitchen, rather than chewing her out for her lack of involvement.

May gave a delicate little snort in response as she rolled her eyes and dropped her playful attitude. "You would, wouldn't you?" she asked, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. "I should have known you would be the one to say that… In that case, I think Grandpa would be interested in knowing exactly why you were so sick around your birthday. He thought it was the flu, imagine what he would do if he knew that the reason was actually a bottle of cheap vodka." She shot her brother a wink and giggled as though she hadn't just threatened doing something that would result in the professor permanently kicking Gary out of the lab. "Something to think about," she called over her shoulder as she turned and sauntered out of the room.

The front door closed a moment after she left and they could hear her car start a moment later. Gary closed his eyes, sighing and shaking his head tiredly. He was too lost in his irritated thoughts to notice Tracey cross the room to stand next to him until the older teen reached out and slapped him in the back of the head.

"What the hell?" Gary yelped, glaring at Tracey as he rubbed the spot where the pokemon watcher had hit him.

"A whole bottle of vodka?" Tracey demanded.

"It wasn't the whole bottle," Gary muttered, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"Just most of it, right?" He rolled his eyes at Gary's lack of reply and was tempted to hit his friend again. "You were so sick – you could have died of alcohol poisoning, Gary!" Tracey exclaimed, remembering how many hours his friend had spent throwing up non-stop and how weak and pale he had been over the following days. Even he had thought it was a legitimate illness, not just a hellish hangover.

"I was fine."

"You missed two days of school and you were sick for a week!"

"Yeah, well, did you see me complaining about it?"

"No, you were too sick to complain! You should have been in the hospital!"

Gary sighed again and shook his head. Considering May was the one they were both annoyed with, he and Tracey had no reason to be arguing. "Tracey, it was in April. It's August now; what's the point in arguing over it?" he asked tiredly.

Tracey stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "You're right," he relented, wearily dropping into a chair at the kitchen table. "May's just really stressing me out."

"You're not the only one," Gary replied. He shot Tracey a wry smile and joined him at the table. "Sounds like you could use a drink," he added with a mischievous grin, nodding in the direction of the bottles on the counter.

"Don't even think about it," Tracey groaned.

"I said you could use one, not me. I'm being good: I have my own plans for the next few months and school isn't part of them."

"That explains why you haven't jumped down May's throat yet," Tracey said dryly. He had been wondering why Gary had been avoiding actual arguments with his sister since the professor had announced that he would be out of town.

Gary raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Phrasing, Tracey."

Tracey rolled his eyes. "Get your head out of the gutter," he exclaimed, picking up a handful of napkins from the holder on the table and throwing them at the younger teen.

Gary merely laughed and swatted them away. "You're the one who said it."

"You're the one who took it that way," Tracey laughed in turn. He shook his head, fighting down another laugh as he reached for his water and took another sip. "What are these plans you have?" he asked after a moment.

"Birch is trying to get a grant to tag sharpedoes in Hoenn, Ivy just got a grant approved to tag lapras in the Orange Islands, there's a professor at the university in Blackthorn organizing a study on gyarados in the Lake of Rage, and there's a few conservation projects in Sinnoh," Gary listed off the projects casually, as though they were simple chores that needed doing, not large projects.

"How do you know about all of the grants and projects going on?" Tracey asked curiously. He could understand Gary knowing about the grant Professor Birch was trying to get for sharpedo tagging, considering his involvement in the Orange Islands project only a month or so prior, but he hadn't heard anything on the others.

"There's a database that the professors post grant requests and projects on. Gramps doesn't realize I know how to get on to it and see what projects there are," Gary explained with a shrug.

Tracey couldn't help but smile at this. He knew about the database; he and May had helped the professor figure out how to work it so that he could post his own grant requests on it. He hadn't thought much about it before, but Gary looking at the database to find projects that he was interested in made perfect sense. In fact, when he thought about it, the professor had mentioned it several times with Gary nearby and had even left it up a few times on the computer with his grandson around. Tracey knew the professor could be absentminded, but thinking back, those occurrences didn't seem to be the result of absentmindedness at all.

His smile became a grin and he laughed softly as he looked back at Gary. "I think he knows that you can figure it out," he replied. At Gary's questioning look, he pressed on. "He's testing you! That's why he gives you the hardest jobs in the lab. You know he's the one who came up with the idea for you to work in the lab instead of doing the science classes at school, right?"

"He's testing me?" Gary asked disbelievingly. "Come on, Tracey, with how much I've annoyed him this year?"

"Why do you think he gets so frustrated with you?" Tracey retorted. "He knows you're capable of it. I think he's trying to see how far you'll push yourself." He paused momentarily, thinking briefly about his friend. "You know, if you –"

"Told him, I would feel better," Gary cut him off with a roll of the eyes. "I know. You tell me all the time."

"Then when are you finally going to listen to me and actually do it?" Tracey asked gently, smiling faintly.

Wordlessly, Gary met his eyes across the table. A small part of him wanted to be annoyed at Tracey for bringing the topic up again – he was, after all, frequently annoyed with himself for constantly going back and forth over it – but he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to be annoyed with Tracey. Even though it had happened nearly two weeks earlier, Gary couldn't help but think of that soft, brief kiss they had shared. It had often crept into his thoughts when he had a moment where he could think of something other than what was happening in the lab and it did so once more as he met those deep eyes.

Once again, he was reminded of how close they had become and of how important the pokemon watcher was to him. He felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him – to actually kiss him. Not just a mere brush of lips but the passionate, full-bodied caress that he didn't doubt for a minute would happen if the private opportunity arose uninterrupted. What a kiss like that entailed, Gary didn't entirely want to contemplate.

What would it mean for their friendship? Would it fall into ruin or blossom into something far greater? Did he really want to date Tracey? With how often Tracey brought up coming out of the closet while they were just friends, Gary could only imagine how much more often that annoyingly terrifying idea would come up in conversation while being his boyfriend. Having a boyfriend and experiencing everything that such a thing would involve would make being gay a fully concrete thing, something that couldn't be pushed into the back of his mind when he truly didn't want to, or just flat-out couldn't, deal with it.

It would bring everything into an entirely new realm of reality and Gary knew he wasn't ready for that just yet. It hadn't been long since he had finally been able to accept it and he wasn't ready to tell someone other than Tracey. If he couldn't tell someone else, then how could he possibly be ready to face the experience of sharing himself, body and heart, with another male?

Gary smiled as he finally shook his head to clear his thoughts. "You know," he began jokingly. "I almost hope May has her party. I think I could use a drink after these last few weeks."

Considering the last thing he had said and the way Gary had paused thoughtfully before speaking, Tracey couldn't help but wonder what Gary was thinking. Was he referring to the kiss that kept wandering so forcefully into his own thoughts? Given the young researcher's tendency to think so deeply into things, Tracey was certain that Gary thought about the kiss as often as he did.

Rather than prying into the boy's thoughts, Tracey simply returned the smile. "Just remember that you have to be in the lab the next morning, bright and early."

With a laugh, Gary nodded. There had always been an unspoken agreement between the two of them that they would share the lab responsibilities and not leave the other abandoned in the lab, and Gary fully intended on holding up his end of the bargain. He would not leave Tracey to care for the entire lab on his own and, if he was being entirely honest, he rather hoped Tracey would join him for a few drinks.

… … …