Secrets Kept

It's been awhile! School's out (cue the Alice Cooper!) so I'm back! There was a lot of writer's block with this one, but I'm hoping to have the next chapter up soon.

Thanks to pokemaster 101 and AlphaGammaSigma for the reviews! Keep them coming and I'll try to keep the updates coming somewhat regularly!

I went back and updated chapter 10 since the last update... I was reading through this story on my phone while getting a tattoo done (my third Harry Potter themed tattoo – a doberman patronus to join my Dark Mark and Deathly Hallows) and couldn't stop cringing at that chapter. Tracey seriously sighed about twenty times within a thousand-word-long chunk of text… and then about twenty more times throughout the chapter. I might be exaggerating just a bit (sarcasm) but it drove me nuts so I edited the chapter and now I can read it without cringing. I haven't quite gotten to that point with this chapter (the whole reading without cringing part) but… oh well.

Chapter Twenty-One

As reluctant as he was to return to his work in the lab, sitting alone in a barn crying was something even less appealing, yet Gary found himself unable to do anything else. He couldn't force himself to get up and leave the barn. Feeling helpless and trapped, he could only sit and feel waves of shame wash over him as every last frustration came welling to the surface.

Granted, in the grand scheme of things, he could have done far worse. He knew this. Getting drunk, even underage, and kissing a friend's girlfriend, followed by another guy, was far from the worst thing he could have done.

This made him feel only marginally better. He had still messed up, badly. On top of all of the guilt from the Amanda situation, he had placed Tracey in a position where he had to take care of the majority of the lab on his own, while placing their friendship on the line and possibly even hurting his near future in the lab – if his grandfather heard about any part of this, he would certainly force Gary to go back to school. Saying "I could do worse" would only serve to make things worse.

Ironically, the tears were what helped him feel better. While crying made him feel pathetic and childish, it also seemed to make his troubles seem less. It was as though each tear that fell somehow embodied a fraction of his inner turmoil, each one making him feel just a bit lighter. It didn't make the problems go away, it didn't even lighten the load, not really – but it cleared the fog just enough to think and that was what he really needed to do at this moment.

Finally, he was able to raise his face from his hands and contemplate the scenario he was faced with. Of course, everything between himself and Tracey was at the forefront of his thoughts, but it seemed that he and Tracey were on the same page. In spite of the awkwardness, he was confident that things would go back to normal between them with some time apart. They would be fine. The previous little kisses and near-kisses had done nothing but strengthen their relationship, so why should this be any different?

The next problem on his mind was, of course, the possible repercussions of what had happened with Amanda outside. He could certainly keep it quiet, but would Amanda? What if she told other people about it? She was, after all, the biggest gossip in the small town. What about the other people who had been at the house the night before? There had been plenty of people there; it was definitely possible that someone had seen them.

Maybe he should just come clean about it. May was always on his case about having a girlfriend, forever asking annoying questions about relationships. She would be annoyed, but he was certain that she would soon let go of any anger in favor of trying to set them up. Darren would be okay: he would be mad at first, but he would get over it. And, even though Wyatt was dating her, he was actually not very close to her and he was honestly sometimes so strange with his reactions to things… He would be mad at first as well, but wouldn't he just laugh it off after a week or so? That was usually what happened.

Exactly how overly-optimistic he was being hit him and he shook his head deprecatingly. Of course that wasn't going to happen.

He remembered quite clearly how furious Darren had been when Wyatt had originally slept with the girl after a night of drinking and he knew how defensive and jealous Wyatt could become. Admitting to making out with his girlfriend would not go over well and it would likely result in a physical fight. And May, as sweet and annoyingly bubbly as she was had a darker side and could turn into a horrifyingly vicious harpy when she was angry. This would definitely fall into the category of something that would anger her.

No, he was just going to have to make sure they didn't know. He was going to have to talk to Amanda and ask her to pretend that it never happened. She had been so drunk the night before that she actually might not even remember it to begin with. He would make sure that the others didn't find out about it. If they didn't know about it, then they couldn't dole out any consequences.

With a solution to the second of his major problems, he could focus on the next one. What was his grandfather going to do when he returned from his trip? If the elder man found out about any of this, Gary knew he could kiss his chances of staying out of school goodbye. He would be in a high school classroom by the end of the day, no doubt. It was entirely possible that he would lose some of his lab responsibilities, which was one of the absolute last things Gary wanted.

He was going to have to keep it quiet and work extra hard in the lab to keep him grandfather from suspecting anything. With this in mind, he forced himself to stand and leave the barn. As he left, he could hear the voices of his friends nearby as they fed some of the grass-types. Eager to avoid them, he skirted along the edge of the horse enclosure and headed straight back to the lab.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur. Whether this was due to the sheer physical exhaustion brought on from the work of the past week, the feelings of general illness still lingering from the hangover from hell, or the absolute numbness left in the wake of the conversation in the stable, Gary didn't know. He had no energy left to even attempt to discern a meaning behind his blurry recollection of the afternoon.

All he knew was that all he really felt like doing was curling up in bed, turning up his stereo loud enough that no one could disturb him, and sleeping until he could sleep no more. With there still being another two days before the professor was due to return, however, this was simply not an option without completely screwing Tracey over in the lab. At this point, their friendship was in a delicate situation and it would be crucial to keep from doing anything more that might harm it. At this rate, such a thing was going to be damn difficult.

When he was finally able to slip away upstairs, he did so without hesitation and without even stopping in the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. The work in the lab was done for the day, his friends had gone home to earlier in the day, Tracey had disappeared into the backyard with his sketchbook in tow, and May was preoccupied with an evening yoga session in the living room. With no one to bother him, Gary could take as long as he pleased in the shower and so he relaxed as much as he could under the steady stream of hot water before slipping quietly into his room before either May or Tracey could venture upstairs.

Locking the door behind him, Gary flopped unto his bed gracelessly, still damp from his long shower, and used the remote to turn on his stereo loud enough to drown out any tiny sound coming from anywhere else in the house. He knew May would tolerate the music only so long as she was distracted downstairs. She would let him unwind for a bit but would soon enough bang on his door and yell at him to turn it down. She didn't understand the oddly calming effect the music had on him.

With the swift and repetitive beat of the double-bass drum, the rhythmic chords struck by the guitars, and somewhere underneath it all, the low and persistent thrumming of the bass guitar all filling the air, his world narrowed down to that one room. As the song progressed, his body relaxed against the sheets of the bed as it had in the shower. As the album progressed, his mind was finally able to relax, at first simply picking up the patterns in the heavy music before focusing on the hidden intricacies, then following the lyrics and blocking out all else, before finally relaxing and drifting away from the day's troubles. It was as close as he could possibly come to pretending that all was well and that nothing had happened.

Nearly an hour passed before May's voice called down the hallway for him to turn it down. Another few minutes passed before she hit the door loudly and yelled again but between the relaxation and the exhaustion that was starting to creep in, he didn't care enough to respond. She gave up after a few more tries and retreated back downstairs as the disc-changer on the stereo moved onto the second album.

Sleep finally overcame Gary only a handful of songs into the equally loud and heavy album. It was at about this time that May and Tracey were surprised by the front door opening to reveal an unexpected arrival.

… … …

With his exhaustion at its current level, Gary could have easily slept straight through the night and well into the next day. In the end, however, exhaustion just couldn't fully outweigh hunger and Gary woke only a little later than he usually would when helping Tracey run the lab in his grandfather's absence. He was certain it was hunger that had woken him - he had barely eaten the day before and he was far too sound of a sleeper to have been woken by any little noises in the house. Once awake, he glanced at the alarm clock and felt a rush of panic: it was his turn to get up at five to feed the pokemon their breakfast. And it was just after seven. Tracey was probably already in the kitchen having breakfast while under the assumption that Gary was in the lab.

He was going to be in so much trouble when the professor heard about this screw up. Tracey was sure to be pissed at him for this.

Quickly throwing on clean clothes, he tore out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen, not noticing Tracey's still-closed bedroom door. The kitchen lights were already on, the back door was wide open to let Umbreon out, and the coffee pot was already full of coffee. Umbreon was darting across the yard, playing animatedly with Gary's Houndoom and Arcanine.

All of this made Gary pause. The state of the kitchen meant that someone had been up for at least a little while, and the presence of Arcanine and Houndoom in the yard meant that someone had been awake long enough to go down to the lab, retrieve their pokeballs, and release them, most likely after dealing with Umbreon's begging for some time. If that had happened, then the other pokemon had likely been fed.

Had he mixed up the days? Was it actually Tracey's turn to get up early? But as Gary looked around, he doubted it. Tracey wouldn't have left the lights all on with the door open like that, nor would he have brewed a whole pot of coffee. This seemed more like his grandfather's morning routine.

Though confused, Gary elected not to think too deeply into it - the pokemon had been taken care of, and that was all that mattered at the moment. With that particular concern out of the way, he set about finding something quick and easy for breakfast.

A large paper bag full of bagels from the bakery downtown - likely picked up by May yesterday morning while he was too busy being sick - sat on the counter and Gary wasted no time in picking one, slicing it, and placing it in the toaster. As the bread toasted, he busied himself with mixing a large glass of chocolate milk. Distantly, he heard the front door open and close but paid no attention to it until someone else entered the kitchen and placed a fresh bag from the bakery on the table.

"Good thing I came home when I did," a startlingly familiar voice said amusedly, causing Gary to choke on his drink. "The pokemon would have been quite annoyed if they had to wait on you," the professor continued with a mild smile.

"What are you doing home early?" Gary sputtered, trying to recover from his milk-induced coughing fit.

The professor smiled again and began unloading the bag on the table. "We finished a few days early," he replied simply. "I knew May wasn't pulling her weight as she ought to be, so I came home yesterday to help you boys out."

"When did you get back?" Gary asked, trying to hide his wariness as he sat down at the table. He hadn't seen his grandfather the day before, nor had he heard anyone mention him being home. He just hoped the old man hadn't somehow been around to see what a mess he had been.

The professor smiled again and gestured towards the fresh food on the table before turning to pour another cup of coffee. Gary glanced from the wrapped sandwiches to the toaster where his bagel was still toasting. He shrugged his shoulders after a moment and reached for one as his grandfather joined him at the table.

"It wasn't very late, actually," he explained. "Only around seven or so. You probably couldn't hear me knocking on your door over the music."

"I was already in bed by then," Gary replied. "You probably got home around the time I fell asleep."

The professor raised his eyebrows in surprise as he reached for a sandwich of his own. "That's awfully early for you," he observed mildly. "You're never the first to bed."

Gary was quiet for a moment as he finished eating and stood to retrieve the bagel from the toaster. "I didn't feel well yesterday," he admitted.

"Tracey told me that. It doesn't seem to be affecting your appetite." He saw Gary roll his eyes in response but ignored it. "What was it this time? You didn't work yourself into a bout of heat exhaustion again did you?"

"No, it wasn't that," Gary replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again as he returned to the table.

"What was it then?"

The aftermath of Fireball, cheap tequila, and pure stupidity, Gary thought. He shrugged his shoulders once again. "My stomach was just being weird again," he said dismissively, hoping that his grandfather wouldn't look too deeply into it.

The professor watched him suspiciously for a moment. "You're certain it wasn't heat exhaustion?" he pressed.

"No, Gramps, it wasn't heat exhaustion."

The memories of everything that had happened the night of the party hit him unexpectedly and a wave of shame came over him. The queries into his illness were making him uncomfortable and he felt his appetite leave him.

Professor Oak watched as Gary set down his partially eaten bagel. It was rather obvious that his grandson's mood had shifted suddenly but he couldn't think of what might have caused the sudden change. "Then what was it?"

"I don't know. Stress, maybe?" It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a complete lie either. After all, he probably wouldn't have drank so much if wasn't for how stressed out he had been at the end of the day in the lab. He wondered if he would have been just as miserable the next day if he hadn't kissed Tracey and Amanda that night. That had only added to his stress, after all.

"I suppose you boys did have a rougher time than usual this past week." Gary shot him an exasperated look that the professor couldn't help but chuckle at. "An understatement?"

Gary nodded. "It might not have been so bad if we'd had more help. It wasn't just May; Darren and Adrian were at school all week and it's not like Wyatt can help out."

Suddenly reminded of something, the professor changed topics. "Speaking of school, I believe we had an agreement?" he asked.

Gary immediately sat up straighter in his seat. "Did you decide?"

The professor smiled faintly but kept his voice rather impassive when he replied. "I have an idea, but I'm not settling on anything until the end of the day today," he said in such a way Gary couldn't tell which way his grandfather was leaning when it came to him going to school. "I told Tracey to take the morning off, but I'd still like you in the lab."

It figured that his grandfather would want him in the lab, Gary figured. He had been expecting to be in the lab all day today and at least part of the day tomorrow but, even so, he had to suppress a groan. With his grandfather back in the lab, he would certainly find himself working in close proximity with Tracey, which he was not exactly looking forward to. If it was just the two of them, they would likely do their own thing and try to avoid each other until the whole kissing fiasco blew over. With the professor back in the picture, they likely wouldn't be able to do that. There was bound to be questions asked and he was far from sure about how to respond to any questions that did come up. At least yesterday his friends had known that he was incredibly hung over and attributed the unusual tension in the lab to that.

Fortunately, the work in the lab seemed to be easy with the professor back. The morning went by surprisingly quickly with Tracey being given the morning off. His absence meant that there was no tension in the air, no uncomfortable questions being asked, no physical distractions…

Though that wasn't to say Gary wasn't distracted. He found his mind wandering constantly in between filling in his grandfather on the happenings in the lab and going about the normal Monday morning routines. There were the usual worries: the typical fleeting thoughts of coming out and telling his grandfather or his friends, followed by the lingering fear of the outcome. It never truly left his mind.

As the morning wore on, he began to find it more and more difficult to concentrate. He kept remembering the events of the other night, and every time he did, he felt that now familiar rush of shame and regret. The conversation with Tracey weighed heavily on his mind and he still had no idea of what to do about Amanda.

Mingling with all of this was a new stress: the concern over what his grandfather's decision was going to be where school was concerned. He had thought that his grandfather would come to a decision while he was in Johto and would relay the decision to him as soon as it came up. The fact that he was making him wait made him nervous.

It was as Gary was absently looking over the notes Tracey had taken on the normal-type physicals from the day before when he felt a nudge against his leg. He glanced down to find Umbreon standing next to him with one of the clipboards clenched between her teeth. She nudged his leg again and wagged her tail as he reached down to take it from her.

He shook his head when he recognized the clipboard. "Is this supposed to be a hint to test the ponds?" Gary asked the professor, who barely glanced up from the nidoran he was looking over.

"They certainly won't test themselves," Professor Oak replied amusedly as he gave the nidodan a final pat on the head and set it on the floor. "And I believe you're treating the duck pond to raise the pH?"

Gary nodded and rested his arms on the top of the lab bench he was at. "It was up a bit yesterday. The psyducks are acting normally but the golducks are still kind of pissed off."

"They should be fine in a day or two, you caught the problem quickly." The professor let the nidoran out the back door and turned with a smile. "You always take good care of the water when I'm gone."

Having spotted an opening, Gary grinned. "Good enough to get me out of school?" He could swear his grandfather smirked in response before giving him a mild smile.

"The day isn't over yet, Gary, you still have work to do - ah, Tracey!"

Umbreon bounded over to greet the teen who had just joined them while Gary looked back down at the notes in front of him. He greeted Tracey quietly only when the older boy stopped next to him.

"Find anything interesting in those reports?" Tracey asked teasingly, stopping next to Gary with his usual gentle smile.

The air suddenly seemed thicker. A tension that hadn't been there a moment earlier made itself known.

Gary smiled faintly, trying to ignore the way his muscles tightened and his stomach churned. "Not really..." He wanted to say more: maybe make some sort of joke about Tracey taking the morning off or an offhand comment about the pokemon physicals or the forms he had been looking over. Anything to lighten the sudden tension would have been nice but Gary found himself drawing a blank when he searched for something to say.

There was an awkward silence between the two boys. Unbeknownst to the other, they both wished they could say something or otherwise acknowledge what had happened in Tracey's bedroom. The kiss and the conversation in the barn hung heavily between them, desperately needing to be brought up. There was a conversation that needed to happen but neither boy was willing to be the one who started it.

The situation would have to pass on its own.

Tracey cleared his throat after a moment and looked down at the lab bench, desperately looking for something, anything, to break the silence. His eyes drifted from the reports Gary had been looking at to the clipboard of pond measurements.

"Have you already checked the ponds?" he asked. It was obvious from just glancing at the blank form on the board that the answer was no, but he asked anyway. Simply standing next to Gary after the last forty-eight hours felt uncomfortable but Tracey just wanted their relationship to go back to normal. Having casual conversation about everyday procedures in the lab seemed like the best way to do that so, despite the awkwardness, he would continue to try to talk to his younger friend.

"I was about to," Gary replied. He turned his attention to the clipboard and flipped through the pages for no reason other than to give his hands something to do.

"Do you… need any help? With the ponds or… anything?"

Gary glanced up at Tracey's halting questions. "I think I can manage it." He couldn't entirely hide the amused smile that curved his lips – Tracey was rather cute when he was hesitant and unsure. Again, he wanted to say more but found himself unable to.

"Gary, the ponds," the professor reminded him from across the room before they could continue with their terrible attempt at conversation.

"I'm on it, Gramps," Gary called back, picking up the clipboard from the counter. He looked back at Tracey and paused. "See you later, Trace," he finally said. "Come on, Umbreon."

"Don't forget the test equipment!" Tracey called after him as Gary walked straight past the plastic tub of vials and equipment. Umbreon had stopped at the counter next to the tub and whined playfully as though she was laughing when Gary turned back to grab it. Tracey smiled and shook his head. "Where should I start, Professor?"

The professor looked down at the notepad next to him. "Gary and I finished quite a bit of work this morning, but why not start with your favorite?"

"The horses?"

"They do enjoy being spoiled, especially little Pele." The professor replied with a smile. A quizzical expression crossed his features as he looked up at Tracey. "Gary didn't take the chemicals for the pH in the duck pond, did he?"

Tracey paused. "No." He sighed, "The golducks won't be happy about that."

"Mmhmm… Is Gary always this distracted?" Professor Oak asked suddenly, drawing a small groan from Tracey.

"Only sometimes," Tracey said slowly, after a moment of thought. "I think some things just set him off."

The professor gazed out the window, watching as Gary made his way across the grass towards the main lake. "He talks to you a lot. Do you know what has him so distracted?"

A wave of uneasiness flowed through Tracey at the question. Of course he knew the reason: he was part of it, a huge part of it. Part of him wanted to just tell the professor but there was no way he could possibly do that. Just the thought of betraying Gary's trust like that was painful. He let out a heavy sigh and leaned against the counter nearest him.

"He's seventeen, Professor, there's a lot that could be distracting him," he hedged.

There was a momentary silence where the professor seemed thoughtful. "I suppose you're right, and I know how much going to school bothers him –"

"He doesn't exactly try to hide it," Tracey pointed out with a wry smile.

Professor Oak chuckled. "That he doesn't." He turned away from the window to peer at Tracey curiously. "What do you think about this school situation?"

"Me?" The professor nodded and Tracey ran a hand through his hair. "I don't… What about it?"

"Well, think about it, Tracey. You two are close and you're observant. I trust your opinion where my grandson is concerned."

Another smile tugged at Tracey's lips. The fact that the professor valued his opinion meant a fair amount to him. "I guess I do have a better idea of what's going on with him than most people," he agreed.

He crossed the room to check the clipboard near the door. As he peered over the chores that still needed doing he tried not to let his thoughts drift to what was going on between him and Gary. "Gary does a lot," he said quietly. "By the end of the school year, he was handling all of the water habitats and any necropsies on top of the usual chores. Add on school, plus being a teenager and trying to have a social life… It definitely has a lot to do with his attitude this year."

"So you think it would be good for him to not return to high school?"

Tracey turned back to face the professor, a bit confused by the questioning. "Professor, why are you asking me? I thought you had made a decision already."

The professor appeared thoughtful as he replied. "In research, education is important. Of course, a good researcher knows that ability matters more than where someone studied, but ability alone will only get someone so far. The last thing I want to do is agree to something that could hurt Gary's future career."

A conversation that he'd had with Gary several days earlier came to mind and Tracey frowned thoughtfully. "You know, he mentioned a while back what he would do if you let him test out of school this year."

The professor looked at him expectantly. "He figured out the grant database, didn't he?"

Tracey grinned. "So you were testing him! I knew it!" he added at the professor's own triumphant grin.

"What did he say would do?" Professor Oak asked, intrigued.

"Well, there's Professor Birch's sharpedo expansion in Hoenn and Professor Ivy's lapras tagging study in the Orange Islands. There was something with gyarados in the Lake of Rage and I think a few other projects in Sinnoh."

"That does sound like him… He's always been fascinated with powerful water-type pokemon, though I do wonder what Sinnoh projects have caught his interest," the professor mused.

He ran a hand down his face thoughtfully before walking over to the nearest computer, which happened to be Gary's. "I wonder…" he muttered distantly as he brought up the menu and began searching through the programs. "Aha!" he cried after a moment. "He did install it! Let's see what projects he's been looking at…"

Tracey sighed quietly and stayed where he was, glancing out the window to check on where Gary was. The younger teen would be far from happy to know that his grandfather was nosing about his computer. It was in their best interest that Gary didn't walk in on this.

"The Sinnoh projects are probably the ones through Professor Rowan's lab, the endangered species conservation," he pointed out, unable to entirely remember any particular details that Gary had given in their conversation. It had only been a few days ago that the conversation had happened but it felt like a much longer period of time.

The professor was clicking through various menus on the database, almost randomly, until he stumbled upon the history menu. "It wouldn't surprise me," he agreed with his assistant as he scrolled through the surprisingly long list of projects Gary had evidently been following. "Yes, those are all here, but Birch, Ivy, and Rowan aren't the only ones he's keeping tabs on."

"He keeps up with Sayda," Tracey offered, finally walking over to peer over the professor's shoulder. He was taken aback by the length of the list the professor was looking through. "Wait; are these all of the projects in the database?"

"Heavens no, that list goes on for eons." Tracey gave a small laugh at the professor's wording and earned a smile in response. "This is certainly a pleasant surprise… With how involved he is with Birch and Ivy, I would be shocked if he didn't know about their projects, with or without this database. Rowan's conservation projects get a lot of press, so that doesn't surprise me either; but he's up-to-date with the major labs in each of the nearby regions, even the Sevii Islands, plus the main lab in Kalos and Unova."

Tracey was unsure of how many major laboratories were in each of the surrounding regions, but he knew there were a fair amount in Kanto alone. There were several that he knew of in the Orange Islands, other than Professor Ivy's and the one at the university on Valencia Island. The list of labs was a long one.

"That's at least, what? Fifty labs?"

Professor Oak nodded slightly, humming thoughtfully. "Somewhere around there, and each lab has multiple projects." He turned to look back at Tracey, clearly as surprised as the pokemon watcher. "When on Earth does he find the time for this?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, think of it this way," Tracey said, grinning. He knew he had found the exact thing to say to sway the professor to a definite decision and he hoped his input would help to make up for some of the awkwardness between him and Gary. "If he can find the time to keep up with all of this, imagine what he can do without school distracting him."

... ... ...