Chapter Eight

Being within the Mitanni capital in the full light of day without an army filled Tutankhamun with a sense of foreboding so great he felt as if he were being suffocated by it. It was difficult not to feel conspicuous, even in a sea of inhabits that did not look or dress too dissimilar to the way he looked presently. He was still acutely aware of his nationality, almost as if the title "Egyptian" had been branded into his forehead. He was deeply paranoid that someone would merely look at him and be able to tell. The anxiety made him tense and jumpy. Consequently, each time he and Suhad were passed on the street by a Mitanni soldier, Tutankhamun would make a reflexive grab for the dagger he kept at his waist.

"Calm yourself," Suhad soothed in aside when he started yet again when a small group of soldiers milled past, "You'll only succeed in bringing us unwanted attention if you continue to be so easily startled!"

"Forgive me for my very reasonable unease," he bit back with a sardonic edge, "It is rather difficult for one to relax when surrounded on all sides by the enemy!"

Suhad leaned in closer to mutter in an under-breath, "They are not the enemy here! For our intentions, they are your people. If you want this plan to succeed then you must make them believe it! Now walk among them as if you belong!"

Her sharp words proved to have a grounding effect on Tutankhamun. There was too much at stake. He couldn't afford to give them away before they had even begun. Keeping Suhad's advice in mind, he managed to maintain a calm veneer as they discreetly scouted the city streets closest to the prison and took note of the guards positioned around it.

The prisoners, they quickly learned, were huddled together in a large, open courtyard rather than locked away in cages. Tutankhamun ascertained that they were kept there as humiliation, put on display like animals in a menagerie. Ordinary citizens were allowed to pass by the gates and sneer at them, spit on them and even hurl stones without incident. If anything, it served as amusement for the guards who were posted at the gate. Tutankhamun noted with some relief that Lagus was indeed still alive, though he looked as if he might have preferred the alternative.

In addition to the two guards who were posted on both sides of the prison gates, there were another two situated in the watchtower that overlooked the courtyard. Several more soldiers were stationed in a row along the outer wall of the prison, all armed with spears. It was readily apparent to Tutankhamun that rescuing Lagus would be no easy task and the price for failure would be high but, for him, there was no other alternative.

By the time they reached the inn where they would be lodging until the evening, Tutankhamun was riddled with anxiety over what lay ahead. That anxiety was further heightened by the tension that loomed thick and oppressive between himself and Suhad. Very little conversation had transpired between them beyond travel preparations and strategy since Suhad had made her firm resolve not to return with him to Thebes. According to her, he belonged in one world and she belonged in another.

After making her feelings clear on that score, she had begun the painful process of withdrawing from him both physically and emotionally. At first, she had merely avoided his touch before rejecting his attempts at affection outright and then, as if that had gutted him enough, she eventually stopped talking to him altogether. Their final night before crossing the Mitanni border had not been spent making love as he had wanted. Instead, he had found himself sleeping on one side of their campfire while she slept on the other side.

Somehow Suhad's rejection managed to feel even more brutal than the blow Ka had dealt him. His heart felt like a stone weight in his chest, heavy and oppressive and smothering him in inches. His grief was made all the worse because Suhad did not appear to be struggling with the same sorrow. In fact, if anything could be discerned by her actions, she seemed almost unburdened. She went about her tasks as if nothing of consequence had changed between them at all, as if in a matter of days they would not be saying goodbye to one another forever.

Her apparent lack of distress compelled Tutankhamun to mask his own pain. He steadfastly kept focused on the mission ahead of him instead. After that night had concluded he would finally be free to return to Thebes and reclaim all that had been stolen from him. Strangely, however, the prospect did not fill him with the satisfaction he'd expected.

Once they were finally with the confines of their accommodations, Tutankhamun and Suhad methodically sorted out the sleeping arrangements between them as if they had not spent the previous two days pleasuring each other with abandon. Tutankhamun finished preparing his pallet at the foot of the bed before turning to survey Suhad with an impassive look. "We'll sleep until dusk and then make our way to the prison after night falls."

After she nodded her agreement, he lay down and closed his eyes, absently registering the hushed rustling sounds Suhad made as she settled into bed. Given the fact that they had been travelling since well before dawn that morning, Tutankhamun expected to hear the room fill with the deep even cadence of her breathing at any moment. Instead, he was surprised positioned herself at the foot of the bed and angled a curious look down at him.

"What is it?" he wondered warily.

"I was just thinking...for a man so stingy with his trust, you've never fully explained to me how this Lagus came to gain it."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a wry smile. "When I fell in battle, we were surrounded by Mitanni," he explained, "Lagus deliberately gave himself up so that they would not find me and kill me. He sacrificed himself on my behalf. Now the time has come for me to return the favor."

"He must have a great deal of respect for you to do something like that," Suhad murmured thoughtfully.

Tutankhamun bit back a smile at his recollection of the first time he'd met the gruff commander and the random adventures they had shared following that initial meeting. "Believe me, it was hard earned. Lagus is not a man who easily gives his trust either. He was the one who brought you the seeds, by the way."

"I figured as much."

He chuckled to himself. "When I asked him to find you and give you the seeds, he looked at me as if he thought I'd taken leave of my senses. We were about to go into battle and possibly die and I was thinking about a woman. But he didn't question it. He didn't question me. He just made sure it was done. It was the first time in my life someone had done that for me."

"You like him."

"Yes. He has never minced words with me. He always speaks his mind. Not unlike you." He swung up onto his elbow to peer at her intently. "Or, at least, how you used to..."

Suhad flopped back into the bedding with a long-suffering grunt. "Don't do this," she begged tiredly, "I thought it would be nice to have a simple conversation for once."

"Don't do what? Want you? Love you? What, Suhad?"

"Just leave it."

He bit down the retort that threatened to erupt and instead fell back against his pallet with an angry scowl. "Fine!" he snapped, "Whatever you wish!"

After stewing in his anger for what seemed like eons, Tutankhamun finally fell asleep, cursing Suhad for her stubbornness and himself for loving her at all. He was awakened a few hours later by the muffled sounds of weeping sounding above his head. Still half groggy with sleep, Tutankhamun swung up onto his elbow and peered surreptitiously over the edge of the cot. Suhad lay on her side with her knees drawn up into her chest, sobbing quietly into the crook of her arm.

Tutankhamun's heart contracted painfully to bear witness to her anguish and he found himself rising from hi bed without thought and going to her side. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, gathering her into his arms when she swiveled to face him. "Shhh...shhh, my love," he crooned softly into her hair, "Please don't cry."

Suhad pressed herself into his arms without compulsion, his unselfish compassion causing her to weep in earnest. She gripped him tightly as the sobs continued to be wrenched from her chest again and again. He held her gently and stroked her heaving back, earnestly whispering sweet words of comfort and encouragement against her ear. He followed those words with tender kisses, lovingly nuzzling away the tears that clung to her lashes and cheeks.

Gradually, as her sobs died down to quiet sniffles his kisses became more deliberate and lingering and punctuated by something far more potent than mere compassion. Tutankhamun lightly brushed his lips over her eyes before descending lower to bestow light kisses to the tip of her nose. Suhad's breath quickened as he dared to move lower, nuzzling his mouth to the corner of her own. They both froze at the intimacy that pervaded the gesture but neither of them pulled away. Emboldened by that, Tutankhamun seized the opportunity to kiss her trembling lips.

What began as tentative nibbles steadily heightened into deep, searching kisses. They clung to one another, filling the room with the quiet rustling of their clothing as they shifted closer and then closer still. Tutankhamun slid his fingers within the confines of Suhad's outer robe and began slowing pushing the material down her shoulders. Only when he felt her tense in reaction did he finally break the kiss. Their eyes met in a penetrating stare.

"Should I stop?" he whispered.

After a split second of hesitation, she shook her head in answer before shrugging from her robe with emphasis. And then she tangled her fingers in the messy tendrils at his nape and pulled him down against her for yet another kiss. After that, there was no stifling the passion that ignited between them. They removed their clothing in hurried desperation, kissing, grasping and gasping, completely overtaken by their need to join as one. When it was over, they spooned together on the narrow cot, quiet and subdued in the aftermath of their frenzied lovemaking.

"So, tell me...what happens now?" Tutankhamun finally asked when he could stand the silence between them no longer.

"I wish that I knew," Suhad sighed. Before he could tense and withdraw from her, mistaking her reply for rejection, Suhad shifted around to face him and confessed in a small voice, "I want to go with you to Thebes but, I'm afraid."

He was left bewildered and surprised by her admission. "You? Afraid? You've never been afraid of anything as long as I've known you."

"Oh, I've been afraid. I'm afraid of your eventually coming to regret the choice to be with me. I'm afraid of what will happen to us if I return with you," she told him, "Here, in this moment when it's only the two of us, it's an easy thing to choose me, Khaten. You don't have to bear the scrutiny of your family and your court for loving me. You don't have to justify your attachment. I fear that might change once you return to Thebes."

"Do I really strike you as being so fickle of heart?"

"Not fickle. Practical and realistic. Out here in the desert, titles don't mean anything. Yes, you are Pharaoh, but it hardly seems real and it won't be real, not until you go back. But here, right this instant, we are a man and a woman who love each other and that is all. But that is not the way it will remain."

"Of course not," he agreed, "Nor should it remain so. I expect us to become much more to each other than simply a man and woman in love, Suhad. I want to make you my wife."

She couldn't quite ignore the part of her that was thrilled by his declaration even as she recognized that his intentions were impractical. "You have a wife," she reminded him, "Or have you forgotten that?"

"And she does not have my heart," Tutankhamun countered, "Moreover, there is the very real possibility that she tried to have me killed so you'll forgive me if I don't quite factor in that argument as I consider a future with you."

"Do you really believe she would be capable of such deceit?"

"I'm not certain," he replied honestly, "My heart tells me 'no.' We've been through too much together. We've shared too much. She is my blood, my sister. But my heart was deceived where Ka was concerned as well and I cannot afford to be blind to the possibility."

"You should first hear her version of events before you condemn her, Khaten."

He scrutinized her with narrowed eyes. "How can you say that? Are you really arguing in Ankhesenamun's favor?"

"I'm arguing in your favor," Suhad clarified, "You've endured enough betrayal. You don't deserve more, especially from someone you love so strongly. If there's even a small part of you that believes she bears no guilt in this then you must give her the benefit of the doubt."

Tutankhamun gathered her against him in a tight hug. "This is why I need you with me," he told her, "You tell me the truth, not what you think I want to hear."

"Then ask me," she invited him softly.

"No. I won't compel you to choose me, my love. This has to be what you want, Suhad. I can't force you."

"Ask me," she insisted again.

He framed her face in his hands, holding her gaze with steady intensity when he asked, "Suhad...will you come home with me?"

"I will."

She hadn't even finished making her reply before he was flipping her onto her back and peppering her face with laughing kisses filled with overjoyed gratitude. "I swear to you that you will not regret it! I will make you so happy."

Although she hadn't yet reached that point of unwavering conviction, Suhad was not immune to his contagious smile. "You have already made me happy. As long as we're together that is all that matters."

He pressed a fervent kiss to her lips. "I love you."

"And I you."

They spent the next hour tangled up together, eager to make up for the previous night's discord between them. Afterwards, Tutankhamun fell into a contented slumber, exhausted and, for the moment, happy. Suhad followed him shortly after, allowing the deep, even cadence of his breathing to lull her into sleep. It was a short time before nightfall when she awakened again, nudged into awareness by the demands of her full bladder.

Once she had finished relieving herself and had freshened up a bit, Suhad found that her plan to rejoin Tutankhamun in bed for more rest was rendered moot. She was no longer tired. Wide awake now, she took a moment to study Tutankhamun as he slept. He lay sprawled across the bed on his side, the thin blanket twisted around his hips, his long, dark hair having escaped its binding and obscuring his profile in tousled disarray. What parts of his features that were visible were bathed in the orange glow of dusk that filtered in from the window. He was a ridiculously beautiful man, both inside and out, but it was especially the former that made it impossible for her to remain indifferent towards him.

But she had tried. She had tried so hard to strip him from her heart. However, Suhad realized now that was an impossible task, she could not chisel him from her soul, not without destroying herself in the process. The idea of returning to Thebes with him absolutely terrified her. She held no naive notions that she would be welcomed there. When she thought of the scorn and scrutiny she was likely to face, Suhad cringed with dread. But what other choice did she have? Her heart had been hopelessly knotted with his since the moment she had found him near death in that riverbed...possibly even long before that. And now that they were lovers, saying goodbye to him had stopped being an option altogether.

In just a few hours time, the world in which they'd insulated themselves for nearly a month would be breached by harsh reality. She would no longer have him to herself but would have to resign herself to sharing him, not only with another woman, but with all of Egypt. He would no longer be her Khaten, but Pharaoh Tutankhamun, "He, who wore the crown." Recognizing that, she savored every private moment she had left with him, content to perch herself on the edge of the bed and watch him sleep. Only when the moonlight began to filter in through the window did Suhad finally nudge him awake.

He blinked up at her with sleepy eyes and a boyishly disarming smile. Suhad was loathe to see that smile disappear and she knew it would with her next words to him. "It's time."

They dressed in silence, hearts thumping with anticipation and fear for what lay ahead. "Do you want to go over the plan just once more?" Tutankhamun asked once they had finished gathering together their belongings, "Just so we're clear?"

Suhad nodded. "You're going to go and first set matters in place so that we can make a quick getaway. Afterwards, we'll rendezvous outside of the prison and I'll approach one of the guards at the prison gate and lure him away from his post so that you can knock him unconscious and secure his uniform."

"Right," Tutankhamun commended her, "And after I've taken his place at post, I'll find a way to alert Lagus to my presence and wait for your signal."

"Are you sure that it's necessary for me to start a fire? That seems so extreme...and dangerous. What if someone is hurt?"

"We have very few options. There are too many guards and too many variables for us to simply try and make a run for it. A fire is the only distraction most likely to occupy and confuse most of the guards standing post."

"I understand."

"After it's done, you need to make your way back the way you came as quickly as you can. There will be a horse and supplies waiting for you at the edge of the market place. Head directly to the desert oasis where we camped before coming here. Lagus and I will meet you there."

"That's the part of this plan that I hate the most. I don't want to leave without you."

He pulled her forward for a reassuring kiss. "This only works if we split up, my love," he whispered, "But take heart. It will only be a short while and then we will be together again with no other reason to part." Suhad nodded her agreement though she clearly remained unsettled. Tutankhamun's next words to her conveyed his own misgivings. "But, on the chance our endeavors are not successful tonight and we don't see each other again, I want you to know that these last few weeks I've had with you have been among the happiest I've ever known. You've changed everything for me. I love you, Suhad. Always."

She leaned into him with a shuddering sigh. "I love you as well."

After allowing himself a few seconds more to linger in her warmth, Tutankhamun squared his shoulders and took a resolute step backwards. "Are you ready to do this now?"

"I suppose I have little choice in the matter except to be," she sighed.

"Very well, then. Let's go."