Chapter Eleven

The minutes following Tutankhamun's dramatic return to the throne were tumultuous. At first, Lagus and Suhad were ignored for the most part while all present tried to make sense of what had just occurred and the queen mourned in anguish as Ka slipped into the afterlife while cradled in her arms. Once some of the chaos had begun to die down and Ka's body was removed from the queen's rigid grip, however, the questions began. Where had Lagus been this entire time? Who was this girl? How had the Pharaoh survived and where had he been the entire time?

Despite his determination to stay at Suhad's side, Lagus was inevitably detained by General Horemheb while Suhad herself was escorted to another room entirely, presumably to await the arrival of Vizier Ay and his cross examination. No explanation was given as she was shut into the room and ordered to remain there until further notice. Suhad had never been particularly good at following orders but she stayed, not out of obedience, but out of worry for Tutankhamun. She paced in anxious circles around the room, barely acknowledging the presence of the slave girl stationed in the corner of the room as she struggled to come to grips with all she had just witnessed.

It was a side of Tutankhamun that she had never seen. The seeming cold detachment with which he had disposed of his childhood friend left Suhad quaking with uneasiness. In those few, stunning moments, he had been like a stranger to her. She had not even recognized him. She was not only left unsettled by his unexpected attack on Ka but also by how easily Tutankhamun had followed the vizier's counsel when it was all said and done. Suhad wasn't certain if Tutankhamun had reacted as he had due to the shock or if the vizier truly exercised that much control over him. She was still agonizing over those unanswered questions when the door suddenly swung wide.

Suhad whirled around, preparing herself to face the manipulative vizier. She was surprised to find Tutankhamun standing there instead, wearing the most haunted expression she had ever witnessed, crown upon his head and still soaked in his friend's blood. With the picture he made, Suhad might have hesitated in going to him altogether but then his blank features crumpled in dismayed suffering and she found herself closing the distance between them. Without even thinking about it, she removed his headpiece and set it aside before gathering his heaving body into her arms, impervious to the bloody mess staining her clothes when she did. He gripped her in a vise-like hold, buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed brokenly.

"I didn't know I would do it then," he wept, "not until I saw him standing there. I loved him. He was my friend. He was my brother. I loved him..."

She crooned sweet words of comfort into his hair, crying with him, helpless to ease the pain that was lacerating his heart. "You did what you felt you must..." she whispered gruffly.

As if suddenly becoming aware of the fact that he was falling apart, Tutankhamun's swallowed back his remaining sobs with a sharp intake of breath. He pulled back to survey her with wet eyes filled with anxiety and some vestiges of shame. "Do you despise me for what I did?"

Suhad framed his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly. "No...I could never."

"But you were shocked," he ascertained quietly.

"I've seen you kill me before," she acknowledged, "But your actions were always motivated by a sense of justice, I believe. This...in the throne room just now...it felt more like vengeance than the righting of a wrong that had been committed."

"Perhaps it was a bit of both," he murmured, noting how she trembled against him with the reply. "Do you fear me now, Suhad?"

"I...I don't know. Honestly, I don't know who that man was in there."

"Nor do I," he confessed thickly, "It was as if something came over me. I saw him as I did that day he left me on the field, crouching above me, discussing with Horemheb whether or not they should finish me off as if I meant nothing, was nothing to him. When I saw him today, I simply wanted him to hurt him as he had hurt me. I couldn't think beyond it."

He started to say more when a muted whimper sounded from the corner of the room, belatedly reminding Tutankhamun and Suhad that they were not alone. Suhad fidgeted in discomfort while Tutankhamun glared at the cowering slave girl. "Leave us now," he commanded, "And do not speak a word of what you've seen here to anyone. Should I hear the gossip circulating, I will know the one who spoke out of turn and I will deal with you accordingly. Do you understand?"

The girl bobbed an anxious nod, eyes respectfully downcast as she scurried for the door. "Yes, my lord." When he turned back to face Suhad after the girl had gone he found her regarding him with disapproving eyes. "What is it?"

"Was that necessary? She was stationed here by your vizier and not by her own design! You very nearly frightened her to death!"

"My palace is overrun with betrayers and liars and those who seek to kill me. I cannot afford to be vulnerable to my enemies, Suhad."

Suhad softened when she heard the hopelessness buried deep within his angry rebuttal. "No wonder you're filled with such tension. You don't feel as if you can trust anyone, do you?"

"I trust you and I trust Lagus."

"But the people in your royal house...your sister, your vizier, your general and your court..."

"...cannot be trusted at all...and I must deal with them accordingly."

"What will you do?"

"There are matters which require my attention today," he told her, "They cannot wait. I did not want to leave you unattended for so long without explanation."

"I can make myself scarce for a while, explore the city. Or...I am sure Nefekare would welcome me for a few hours," Suhad offered helplessly, "I feel as if I'm in the way here..."

"No! You cannot leave!" Tutankhamun swept up her hands in a fervent hold, softening the edict with a fervid entreaty. "Please, Suhad. I want you to stay here," he insisted, "I'll have you shown to my bedchamber and you can wait there. When I have concluded my business then I will join you."

She wasn't at all comfortable with the idea of waiting for him in his bedchamber because acutely aware of the message it would send to everyone. She had been within his palace less than a day and already the whispers and conjecture about what they were or were not to each other had begun. Suhad could only imagine that what was being said about her was less than flattering and would become more unflattering should be escorted to his chambers. However, she could also well discern that Tutankhamun's hold on his self-control was tenuous at best. He was a veritable powder keg poised for explosion. If having her near to him would allow him to keep his composure then her waiting for him in his bedchamber was a small request to fulfill.

As she was escorted into his inner sanctum, Suhad should have been prepared for the lavishness she would find there but her breath still caught when she saw the gleaming gold, expensive, polished wood and intricate artwork that decorated Tutankhamun's chamber. At the center of the room was a huge bed situated on a raised platform with a coiling, gold frame, bedecked in gold colored sheets and fine, crushed linen. Situated near the foot of the bed were several articles of flimsy nightwear carefully laid out and a platter of fruit, two bejeweled goblets and a jug of wine.

It became readily apparent to Suhad that the chamber had been prepared in advance for Ka and Ankhesenamun's wedding night. It galled her to think that the man who had left Tutankhamun for dead would consummate his marriage to his ill-gotten bride in his victim's own bed. And if she was disgusted by that knowledge, she could only imagine how Tutankhamun would react...

"Could one of you possibly help me clear these things out of here?" she timidly asked the servants on standby near the entrance. She ignored the way they both snapped to guilty attention when she approached them. "This room should be prepared for the pharaoh's homecoming."

One girl, the one Tutankhamun had chastised earlier, sprang into action, her eyes lowered diffidently as she scurried past Suhad. "Yes, my lady."

"My lady?" Suhad muttered to herself, frowning a little over the title and wondering exactly when and what she'd done to deserve being addressed as such. She was still obsessing over it several hours later when Lagus arrived. Suhad sprang up from her perch at the window to greet him. She reflexively threw her arms about him before she could think better of it, hugging him tightly.

"Thank the gods you've arrived! I've been dying for a familiar face. This place is a madhouse!"

"And it will remain a madhouse for some time to come," Lagus warned her, "Keep your eyes open and your mouth closed. There is no one to be trusted here, Suhad."

She attempted to lighten his ominous caution with levity. "You mean besides you?" she wondered wryly, "Or should I not trust you either?"

Lagus almost cracked a smile, but somehow managed to maintain his impersonal demeanor. "You know what I mean."

"I do," Suhad acknowledged before mirroring Lagus' somber expression. "So...what message has he sent for me?"

"How did you discern that I was here at his behest?"

"It's practically become a tradition among the three of us, wouldn't you agree?"

That time Lagus wasn't quite as successful at completely suppressing his smile. "I am to determine if you are getting on well and also to reassure you that he will join you as soon as he is able."

"Besides reeling over what transpired this morning, I'm quite well," Suhad quipped sardonically. She surveyed Lagus with eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Did you have any inkling that he would do what he did today?" she demanded, "Did you encourage it?"

"I knew that the general and Ka were slated for death but I was as surprised by his actions this morning as you. I suspect that the Pharaoh was surprised as well. It was not planned, if that is your suspicion."

"He already told me that it was not, but... I don't know quite what to make of him," Suhad muttered, "This wretched place is already chipping away at the man I've come to know and it hasn't even been a full day yet!"

"Do not judge him too harshly, Suhad. You have no idea the weight that is upon him now...but you will. In time, you will understand all too well."

After Lagus left, Suhad found herself ruminating on his parting words to her. The military commander had been quite candid about his misgivings where her presence in Thebes was concerned. While Lagus had made it clear to both her and Tutankhamun that he did not begrudge their desire to be together, he worried that they might be setting themselves up against overwhelming odds in the capital. His parting words confirmed to Suhad that his feelings on the matter had not changed. Lagus clearly believed that she and Tutankhamun had yet to face the worst. This was only the beginning.

That initial feeling of apprehension that she'd felt upon entering Thebes returned with a vengeance. It was an ominous sense that settled in the pit of her belly and took up permanent residence. For the first time since she had made her decision to accompany Tutankhamun to Thebes, Suhad grimly considered the possibility that she might have taken on much more than she could handle.

The sun had long since set by the time Tutankhamun finally made his appearance. At the sound of his footfalls, Suhad jerked upright on the bed to greet him. However, the words died in her throat the instant she beheld him.

For the second time that day Suhad found herself shocked into speechlessness by his appearance. Gone was the blood stained garb she had seen him in earlier. That had been replaced by fine, gathered white linen overlaid with a striped blue and tan sleeveless coat adorned with refined gold and gleaming, precious stones. His unkempt top knot, which she had grown to adore, had been tamed into dark waves that were pulled back from his face and allowed to cascade down the back of his neck. Even his eyes seemed different, now adorned with the dark kohl that made them seem even more enigmatic than usual. It was at that moment that it truly sank in for Suhad that Tutankhamun was Pharaoh...and that was not going to change.

After spending several moments attempting to compose herself, Suhad finally said, "You've been gone most of the day. I thought perhaps you had forgotten about me."

"An impossible task, I assure you." He smiled at her, disappointed when she did not smile back. "Are you angry with me?"

Suhad shook away the mental fog that had settled over her as she took in his appearance, her demeanor becoming stony in spite of her next words to him. "No. I'm not angry. Not at all."

"Then why will you not meet my eyes? You seem irritable."

"It's been a very exhausting day," she replied vaguely, "I'm tired and I'm confused and, honestly, I don't know what to expect from you."

Tutankhamun frowned as he ascended the dais steps to meet her. "I don't understand what you mean."

Suhad swung around on the bed to face him directly. "Then allow me to clarify...you say one thing and then do another! You ask me to stay here and then you ignore me for the better part of the day! You send Lagus to me with warnings not to trust anyone, but then you leave me to my own devices in a palace full of people whispering behind their hands about me! You've been different ever since we came back here! You've been distant and cold and I don't think I know who you are anymore!"

Rather than being put off by her impassioned rant, Tutankhamun was oddly inflamed by it. Without warning, he stepped closer and cradled Suhad's face in his hands, sealing his mouth to hers in a kiss filled with fervent hunger. Suhad bunched her fingers into the front of his linen tunic, as if she meant to shove him away but instead she pulled him closer, seeming to need the contact as much as he did. She responded to his ardor with a hushed whimper, kissing him back with equal fervor.

"Do I kiss differently to you, Suhad?" he whispered when they parted. Breathless, Suhad gave a wordless shake of her head. He swept up her hand and placed it upon his chest, just above his wildly thumping heart, his dark eyes intent and probing as he asked, "Do I feel differently to you?"

After a rough swallow, Suhad managed to answer hoarsely, "No."

He stroked his fingers down the curve of her shoulder, raising fine gooseflesh there before replacing his fingers with his lips. Suhad lost the fight to keep her eyes open as he nibbled his way across her collarbone, his hands slipping down to her thighs to gather up the length of her skirt. When she was finally unencumbered he parted her legs and stepped between them all without ever taking his mouth from her body.

"Does my touch feel the same?" he whispered against her skin. Suhad's answer was a serrated moan. He eased her back into the bed then and followed her down. "If you've forgotten who I am, my love, then perhaps you are in need of a reminder..."

She was dozing lightly next to him an hour later while he stroked his hand along the length of her naked back when he whispered an apology to her. Suhad lifted her head to peer at him with a sleepy, confused frown. "Why are you apologizing?"

"You were right when you accused me before," he admitted, "I have been distant and cold, but it was never my intention to be so. I thought I would gain some satisfaction once I returned here, but all I can feel is anger and unease. I am unable to trust those in my own house and it sickens me."

Suhad threaded her fingers through the soft hair at his temples. "Oh, my love, you have endured too much pain."

Tutankhamun swept up her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back firmly. "I have you, Suhad. You soothe all the pain. But Ankhesenamun...there is no soothing for her. She grieves deeply for Ka. I do not expect that she will ever forgive me."

"And that saddens you."

"In part, yes, it does. We have never had this type of discord between us. I do not want her to hate me. But then there is the part of me that is infuriated with her...for being so naive, for siding with the man who left me to rot!" Tutankhamun grunted humorlessly. "And then there is the honorable General Horemheb, who made it quite clear that he has neither fear nor loyalty nor respect for me. I am but a boy king, he says, who rules from behind other men."

"His words will mean nothing, Khaten," Suhad told him fiercely, "not if you prove him a liar."

He tipped a wry glance down at her. "And how will I do that?"

"I've told you before...you become the great pharaoh that you are destined to become. That is how you take vengeance upon the general and all who are like him."

Heartened by her words, Tutankhamun pulled Suhad into a tight embrace. "I am so glad you are here. I cannot imagine what I would do without you." He nestled his face into the warm crook of her neck. "We should sleep. The hour grows late and the day has been long."

Suhad reared back a bit in surprise. "In here? You wish for me to sleep in here? With you?"

He surveyed her with a bewildered frown. "Where else would you sleep?"

Her expression clearly stated that he should well know the answer to that question. "Do you have any idea what is being said about us?" she whispered, "About me?"

"Of course, I do. They are all speculating as to whether or not you and I are lovers." Tutankhamun shrugged. "There is no cause for speculation. We are lovers."

Suhad buried her burning face in the crook of his neck. "Yes, I know that," she groaned, "but must we be so obvious about it?"

"I'm afraid your unrestrained cries of pleasure rendered that question moot a short while ago." Suhad groaned again, this time pinching Tutankhamun's flank for his laughing impertinence. "You're completely shameless," she grunted into his shoulder, "I don't know what I'm going to do with you." He chuckled at her girlish reaction, feeling happier in that moment than he had felt all day. He pressed a sound kiss to her forehead.

"I want you here with me, Suhad, in my chamber and in my bed but, I will not force the issue if it causes you discomfort. If you would prefer to have your own space then I will provide it for you."

She peeked at him from beneath her lashes. "I think that might be best."

"Then it shall be arranged in the morning," Tutankhamun decreed, "But tonight...I wish for you to remain here with me. I want to hold you. Have I your permission to do that?"

Suhad favored him with an adoring smile, happily snuggling back into the circle of his arms. "Yes. Always."