The entire town was in a frenzy. Most of Main Street was on fire from laser beam blasts. Sharks growled and people screamed. Toby Determined ran around wildly, microphone in hand.
"This is Toby Determined, reporting live from Sharkgate 2015. A large army of cyborg sharks with laser guns and jet packs affixed to their backs has invaded Gravity Falls." Behind Toby, a shark bit into a car. It's gas tank began to leak and was hit by laser fire, sending both the car and the shark up in an enormous explosion, leaving a giant crater.
Meanwhile, outside the biker joint, Manly Dan was engaged in hand to fin combat with a shark. Manly Dan uppercut the shark twice, leaving a small dent in the metal half pf the sharks face. The red robot eye of the shark fixed itself on Manly Dan.
Manly Dan screamed at the shark incoherently in a way that obviously meant that he wouldn't let any shark near his family or his town. The shark roared and lunged at Manly Dan, grabbing the lumber jack between its enormous sets of teeth. Manly Dan's ax dropped to the ground as he was swallowed whole by the shark.
Soos arrived at the scene of the invasion. "Dude, that's a really rad amount of fire. Man these sharks are really pretty powerful don't you think." The Pines family was silent behind him.
A shark divebombed the group. With a yell, Stan hit the shark upside the head with his magic 8 ball cane. He then knocked off the shark's robot eye with the ball end of the cane.
"Hocus pocus!" he quipped.
Stan then leapt up and stabbed the shark through the head with the tip of his cane. He pulled the cane out and leapt to the side as the shark crashed to the ground and exploded.
Ford (gosh what a nerd) began firing his laser gun from the other dimension at the sharks. Several sharks exploded in mid air.
Dipper tried punching a shark himself, but missed and fell on the ground. Mabel used him as a launching pad and karate chopped the shark in the neck. The shark collided into Greasy's Diner and exploded, taking the diner with it.
"YOU JUST GOT SERVED SUCKA!" Mabel screamed.
Soos was leading the fight, beating back sharks with his shovel in one hand and firing at them with a pistol in the other hand. His weapons, however, didn't seem to be as effective as they had been before. The shovel and bullets barely made a dent on the sharks.
"Uh, dudes? I think there's something going on. My attacks on the sharks aren't nearly as rad as they used to be."
"They're communicating." Ford said nerdily. "They must have a hive mind allowing them to upgrade themselves, to make them nearly invulnerable to attack."
"Oh come on dude, that's totally not-"
"Soos watch out!" Dipper screamed. He sounded like a five year old.
Soos turned around and in the nick of time ducked underneath the maw pf a lunging shark. He quickly shoved his shovel in between the sharks jaws, keeping them open. The shark attempted to bite down, but only drove the shovel into its brain circuitry. The red light faded from its artificial eye and the creature crashed to the ground.
Suddenly the group was barraged from laser fire from behind.
"Guys, I think those sharks I killed so radly back at the Shack regenerated!" Soos yelled over the din.
"We have to get out of here!" Ford yelled. Seriously, how much of a dork could a fifty something year old man be?
"Dudes, follow me!" Soos yelled.
The group ran down the fiery remains of what had omce been Gravity Falls' Main Street. Finally, Soos found what he was looking for; a red Cadillac Escalade driver that a mustached man was desperately trying to start. Soos ran up to the car and opened the driver's door.
"What the-?" the man said, but before he could say more Soos threw him across the street, where a laser shark flew by and swallowed him whole.
"Soos!" Mabel yelled.
"No time to argue dudes. Come om. We can go over to my place. We should be safe there."
When everybody was in, Soos revved the engine and drove towards his house at full speed.