Far above Gravity Falls was the enormous laser shark mothership. Laser shark soldiers darted in and out of the enormous machine as orders were issued. The entire structure was shaped not like a laser shark, but rather a laser megalodon, which had gone extinct on the planet of the laser sharks millions of years ago.
In the inner sanctum, at the very center of the ship, the king of the laser sharks sat in his throne, dreaming.
He was dreaming that he was swimming through oceans tainted red by the blood of the fallen town below him. Suddenly a really bright light, almost as if it were a really bright light, shone though the redness of bloocean (it's a combination of blood and ocean). Then a triangular form appeared, almost equilateral but not quite. It was none other than Bill Cipher.
"HEY THERE LASER SHARK KING. HOW'S THE DESTRUCTION OF GRAVITY FALLS COMING?" asked the dream demon.
"They will fall to us soon." King Artscowex (cause that's his name) replied.
"GEE THAT'S GREAT. JUST REMEMBER OUR DEAL. YOU KEEP GRAVITY FALLS AS LONG AS YOU GIVE ME THE INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT WHEN YOU FIND IT."
"Of course, there is no need to remind me." replied the king as he stared at a picture of his family. He hoped they were alright back home.
"YEAH YOU BETTER BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUR ENTIRE RACE!" Bill giggled. What a jokester. "NO BUT REALLY, I WILL MURDER YOUR ENTIRE RACE."
Bill spun away in a spinning motion and disappeared with a poof.
Artscowex woke up.
"Sir, we have almost nearly funded our project on Kickstarter." his military advisor informed him.
"I need some breakfast before I deal with professional matters." the king replied.
"Of course sir."
King Artscowex poured himself a bowl of Lucky Charms. Lucky Charms contain many of the vitamins and minerals that your kids need in order to start off their day right. Just put it in a bowl, pour milk over it, and serve. Lucky Charms is an essential part of a balanced breakfast. Available at your local grocery store.
After devouring his delicious Lucky Charms cereal, the king returned to his throne room to meet with his advisors. "How is the project coming along?"
"The project goes well." an advisor replied. "But sir, it isn't safe to fuse so many of the laser sharks together."
"Nonsense. They'll be fine."
"As you wish my king." the advisor bowed his head.
"How goes the destruction of Gravity Falls?" Artscowex inquired.
We have destroyed half the city. By tomorrow it should be ours."
"Excellent. That will be all, gentlemen."
As his advisors left, the king thought about his life and what had led to this moment. He remmbered becoming king after his father had died in the battle with the last megalodon. He remembered killing his first clownfish. He remembered meeting his wife. He sighed. He loved his family so much. He wondered about his daughter, Zaswenteriquillotile, and his son, Bob. He sighed. He hoped they were doing all right.
"Sir we still haven't any sign of the object you've been asking about." It was one of his advisors. "This rift..."
"FND IT, FISHDANGIT." the king yelled.
"Y-yes of course sir."
As the final advisor left, the king's eyes narrowed. He would get that rift: one way, or another.
XXXXXXXX
Soos finished nailing the last board to the door. "There! These four boards on the door should keep the laser shark army out!"
Ford pushed his glasses up on his nose. He looked around, as if he expected the narrator to point out his nerdiness.
"We need to come up with a plan on how to beat the laser sharks." the author remarked. "Luckily, I may have a way to..."
"Guys, we should totally watch a movie." Soos suggested.
"SOOS WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ALIEN INVASION THIS IS NO TIME FOR WATCHINGMO-"
"Dude, it's too late. This already a narrative tangent that's totally happening."
Ford sighed.
"Guys we're gonna watch Kickboss. It's like the raddest movie of all time. You guys are gonna love it."
Soos popped in the dvd and Kickboss began to play.