Chapter Seventeen

"I still cannot believe you bit into a raw onion as if it were nothing more than a freshly picked apple," Nahkt chuckled with a mock shudder as he and Suhad walked back towards the palace together.

"How can you truly appreciate the taste of food if you've cooked away all of the natural properties before you've even taken a bite? And let us not forget to mention the medicinal purposes of a raw onion."

Nahkt made quite a production of gagging. "Ugh, revolting! I'd rather be ill."

Suhad threw back her head and laughed, reaching over to give him a playful shove. It was a silly argument they'd been having since departing the marketplace a short time ago. Really, the subject matter was of no consequence in the grand scheme of things but, at present, the lighthearted distraction was exactly the thing she needed.

General Horemheb was to be executed for treason in less than an hour and his final act of sedition against his king would die with him. Suhad contemplated that reality with mixed emotion. On the one hand, the man was a traitor, not only to his Pharaoh but to his nation, and was meeting his just end. He had left his king to die to further his own ambitions and death was the price he must pay for his folly. On the other hand, that same man was a brilliant military tactician and a mighty warrior who might very well be their only protection against the army which was seeking Egypt's destruction. His death could serve to be both a blessing...and a curse.

Since Tutankhamun's cousin, Herit, had been sent to the Mitanni territory as a bridge and peace offering, no word had been heard from the enemy camp at all. Tutankhamun had no way of knowing if his proposal had been received favorably or not. Of course, there was the hope that Prince Ti'sata would be agreeable to making Herit his wife and, if that were so, then Egypt might finally know peace. In addition, Suhad and Tutankhamun would finally have the opportunity to go forward with their plans to be married.

Regardless of the outcome, Suhad had already made up her mind that she would tell Tutankhamun of her pregnancy that very night. While she recognized that the timing remained less than optimal, after a week of blissful perfection with him, she could no longer keep the news to herself. There was that and also the odd sense Suhad sometimes had that Tutankhamun would be amiable to the idea, that somehow he had already discerned the truth...

He took more than the usual care with her of late, so much so that his actions had become nothing less than doting in the past week. Even his lovemaking had acquired a tempered edge, no less impassioned and eager but infinitely more tender than it had been previously. He handled her with delicate care, as if he feared she might break...or as if he was protecting something precious. Still, whether he truly suspected already or not, Suhad was more than eager to confirm matters and set aside all secrets between them. She didn't expect it would be easy for them following, particularly if the queen's mounting scorn was any indication.

Ankhesenamun had made it abundantly clear that she held Suhad personally responsible for Herit being sent to the Mitanni as a peace offering. It had mattered little that the decree had come directly from the Pharaoh himself. The queen counted Suhad as the source. "Should anything happen to her," Ankhesenamun had warned Suhad when they were alone, "I will exact the price of her blood from you until there is nothing left." Presently, Suhad shivered at the memory because she recognized that the queen's threat had not been idle. Should the situation turn unfavorable, Suhad had no doubts that Ankhesenamun would actively seek her destruction. Without any real effort on her part, she had made a lasting enemy for herself.

It was yet another detail that Suhad kept from Tutankhamun and she wasn't entirely certain she would ever share it. He had so little to cling to as it was, Suhad did not want to take away one more thing from him. Despite all her faults and possessiveness, Tutankhamun loved his sister deeply and he was still determined to protect her interests. Suhad was well aware that he felt personally responsible for Ankhesenamun's unhappiness and that his actions towards her were motivated by a desire to undo the damage that he perceived he had done to her. Tutankhamun wanted desperately to maintain peace with Ankhesenamun, a peace that would certainly be shattered should the queen's threat against Suhad become known to him.

The rift that existed between the pharaoh and his sister would inevitably widen, which could even threaten the stability of the kingdom if it became severe enough. Egypt was already perched upon a precarious precipice. A blood feud between Tutankhamun and Ankhesenamun could not be the tipping point. Thus, Suhad decided to hold her tongue. She did not want to find herself at the center of a civil war between Egypt's two ruling powers. But mostly, she did not want to see Tutankhamun lose yet another person he loved.

Suhad was mostly unaware of her wandering thoughts until Nahkt reached over and poked her in the arm. She jerked a startled look to his smiling face. "I lost you for a bit there," he teased, "Have you run out of arguments in favor of the raw onion? Shall we move on to raw garlic instead?"

She growled at him in feigned annoyance before favoring him with an apologetic smile. "I didn't intend to drift off like that. I suppose I have a great deal on my mind today."

"You mean because General Horemheb is to be executed within the hour?"

"That is part of it."

Nahkt surveyed her with a quizzical frown. "Why did you not remain at the palace to show your support for the Pharaoh?"

"He did not ask me."

Suhad failed to mention that Tutankhamun had specifically requested that she leave the palace that morning because he feared his enemies would make her a target. So there was also that concern which was adding to Suhad's stress but not due to worry for herself. She feared for Tutankhamun because she knew his adversaries meant to make an attempt on his life that day.

"How does the Pharaoh feel, by the way," Nahkt wondered casually, "about you and I enjoying such frequent excursions together?"

"He doesn't like it," Suhad replied without preface, "but he tolerates it because he knows that I like spending time with you and that it makes me happy. How does your father feel about it?"

Nahkt flashed her a wry grin. "He doesn't like it, but he tolerates it."

Suhad shook her head at the irony. "What a pair you and I are!"

"Well, at least my father cannot have you beheaded if he becomes too excessively aggravated with you," Nahkt reasoned, half teasing, half serious, "The same cannot be said of the Pharaoh."

Her laughter abruptly dissipated at that because the thin thread of worry in his tone was obvious. Suhad stopped to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder and said with quiet solemnity, "You must know that he would never do such a thing. You have nothing to fear from him, Nahkt."

He shook off her hand, his expression becoming aloof as he resumed walking. "You don't know him as well as you think, Suhad." She halted mid-step and whipped to face him again, pinning him with a sharpened glare filled affronted incredulity. Though he fidgeted a bit under her penetrating glower, Nahkt did not retreat from his stance but met her incensed eyes squarely. "You forget that I was raised in the palace. The Pharaoh and I practically grew up together. My own father is the one who raised him. In truth, he was so preoccupied rearing the prince and princess, it left very little time for me."

Suhad relaxed a bit at the subtle notes of bitterness she detected in Nahkt's tone. "What of your mother?" she asked softly, "Were you close? You've never spoken of her."

"She died when I was little. I barely have any memories of her at all. It has always been my father and I...or at least it was until I was eleven and young prince Tutankhaten became Pharaoh of Egypt."

"You think he stole your father from you?" Suhad discerned quietly.

"I think he is selfish and entitled and he knows little about what it means to be Pharaoh of Egypt."

"Do you blame him? He's only just beginning to learn. For years his own advisers, your father included, manipulated and lied to him in order to steal his kingdom. Everything that he has gained thus far has been by the strength of his own will!"

"Is that what he told you?"

"It's what I see."

"It's true that my father can be controlling by nature. I won't deny it. But, if our Pharaoh has given you any reason to believe that he had anything more than cursory interest in this kingdom prior to his nineteenth birthday then he is misleading you," Nahkt said, "His two main priorities have always been satisfying his own desires and securing an heir to continue his bloodline."

"You don't sound as if you like him very much," Suhad observed thoughtfully.

He stopped short, his expression becoming wary and guarded. "Perhaps, I've spoken too freely with you," he murmured, "I sometimes forget how closely you are involved with him."

"Nahkt, do not be that way. If you cannot speak your mind to me then what point is there for us to call ourselves friends? I've never hesitated when telling you exactly what I think of your father, have I?"

He emitted a small snort of derisive laughter. "No. Not at all. Your unbridled tongue is one of the things I like most about you."

Suhad ducked her head and chuckled briefly. "I suppose I could be a little less abrasive when stating my opinion," she considered.

"Is that even possible?" he teased.

"The point is," Suhad pressed on doggedly, "I don't mince words with you and neither should you censor yourself with me. I want you to be honest with me...even if I don't agree with your observations."

"And you don't agree?"

"No, I don't. The man you are describing is not the man I know. Tutankhamun is neither selfish nor entitled! That description cannot be further from who he is! People change, Nahkt."

"Those within the Egyptian royal house do not change, Suhad," Nahkt warned, "Power is a corrupting influence. The pharaoh's first choice will always be his obligation to his ancestral line, no matter what he tells you."

That ominous prediction was still echoing in the back of Suhad's mind when they arrived at the palace a short time later. Immediately, upon entering the gates, they found themselves amid what could only be described as chaos. People scurried about in all directions in the courtyard while soldiers did what they could to coax them into some semblance of order. Suhad and Nahkt were jostled about in the crowd, barely spared an instant to gain their bearings or ask any questions before they were descended upon by palace guards and swiftly ushered inside. Once within the palace walls, they were dragged in separate directions as Nahkt was taken to his father and Suhad was taken to her chambers with only vague instructions to wait there for further news.

However, as she had been hustled through the marbled corridors, it had been impossible for Suhad to drown out the grief-stricken keening that had reverberated through the intricately decorated palace halls. Whispers among the servants confirmed that it was Ankhesenamun who was weeping. Suhad could think of only a few scenarios that would leave the young queen so devastated and all of them involved Tutankhamun. Her heart was pounding with fear and anxiety by the time she reached her chambers and those emotions were only heightened by the servants' reluctance to volunteer any information. In truth, however, Suhad wasn't at all certain she wanted to know.

She had been prowling the interior of her bedchamber for nearly an hour, growing more and more restless as the seconds elapsed when she suddenly spied a flash of color from the corner of her eye. Unfortunately, her hope that Tutankhamun had finally come to her died a quick death when she whirled about and found a worried Nahkt standing there instead. For some inexplicable reason, the disappointment she felt over that was the very thing that broke Suhad's tenuous hold on her emotions. She immediately burst into tears as every grim possibility and fear she held for Tutankhamun's well-being began to run rampant in her mind.

Nahkt rushed forward to gather a crying Suhad in his arms, alarmed by her sudden and emotionally volatile breakdown. She clung to him and buried her face in his tunic, her body heaving with the force of her sobs. "He's not dead, is he, Nahkt?" she wept brokenly, "Please tell me I have not lost him!"

"The Pharaoh lives," Nahkt confirmed softly, "But his cousin Herit is no more. The Mitanni returned her body bound and impaled on a spear with a clear message that there is to be no alliance with Egypt."

Suhad gulped down the remainder of her tears and lifted her tear-stained face from Nahkt's tunic. "What did you say?"

"Herit is dead."

"Oh no..." Suhad tore from his embrace with a soundless gasp at the brutal mental image and clamped a hand over her mouth in a vain attempt to hold back the bile that suddenly rose in her throat. She raced for the chamber pot and emptied the full contents of her stomach into it. She was still dry heaving when Nahkt came to kneel beside her with a goblet of water. Suhad gratefully plucked the cup from his hands and rinsed her mouth before wilting back against the wall in a trembling heap.

"I hadn't imagined you would be this upset," he said, "Did you know Herit well?"

"I didn't know her at all...only that she was the queen's favorite cousin and her closest companion."

"She was indeed. They hardly ever out of each other's company. The queen is understandably distraught at this time."

The words barely registered for Suhad. She leaned her head back into the cool marble wall and closed her eyes. "And now she will blame me..."

"Why would she blame you?" Nahkt asked with a puzzled frown. Although, Suhad said nothing in response to the question, her guilt-stricken expression was answer enough. Nahkt's expression gradually became unreadable. "So it is true what my father says about you," he whispered, "You do hold influence the Pharaoh."

"It's not how you imagine at all."

"Then how is it? Did you have him act in Egypt's favor when you suggested to him that Herit be sent into the Mitanni camp...or was it for the Mitanni's benefit so that they could know we are weak?"

Suhad shrank back from him in hurt disbelief. "I can't believe you would ask me such a thing! I thought we were friends."

"We are friends. But do not pretend there are sides of yourself that you keep hidden from me, Suhad."

"And that truly puzzles you?" she snapped in affront, "Why ever would I make myself vulnerable when you evidently think I would deliberately send a woman to her death to benefit the enemy!"

"I did not say that. But that is what some believe."

"You mean that is what your father believes!" Suhad spat, "And now you give merit to his words!"

"If you tell me I am wrong then I will believe you," he said, "but, given the circumstances, I had to ask the question. Surely you know that."

"Can you not grasp the gravity of what has transpired here today?" she cried a little impatiently, "If proof is what you require in order to convince yourself of my innocence then I cannot provide it for you, Nahkt! You either trust me or you don't!"

"My father has uttered similar words to me in the past...most often when he's being duplicitous."

Suhad shook her head, unable to deal with his petulant displeasure right then. "Please, Nahkt, I cannot have you turn against me now. I need to see Tutankhamun. You must help me find the Pharaoh. I need you to take me to him."

"There is no need. I am here."

Both Nahkt and Suhad scrambled to their feet in surprise to find Tutankhamun standing between the two large pillars at the entrance of her bedchamber, less than twenty feet away from them. He looked exhausted and defeated and his expression was vaguely haunted but otherwise he appeared healthy. Tutankhamun and Suhad met one another's eyes across the distance in a silent stare before he flicked a dismissive glance at Nahkt, barely acknowledging the other man at all except to say, "Leave us now."

Something dangerous flickered in Nahkt's eyes before he quickly composed himself and turned to Suhad and murmured, "Promise me we will talk later. I want to explain."

"I don't know if we have anything more to say to each other, Nahkt."

Once he had departed, albeit reluctantly, Suhad quickly moved forward to enfold Tutankhamun in a tight embrace, her tears welling anew when he hugged her back with equal fierceness. "Nahkt told me what happened," she whispered, "I never imagined they would be capable of something so vile." She pulled back a bit so that she could see his face when she asked, "How is the queen?"

"Calmer," he answered gruffly, "She's resting now."

"Does she blame you for what's happened?" Suhad wondered thickly.

"I blame myself. My sister has suffered many losses of late, most of them at my hand."

"You are not responsible for this."

"I am the one who sent Herit to her death."

"But it was the advice I gave you..." she mumbled in a suffocated tone, "If you blame me for..."

He swept up her hands and pressed fervent kisses to the backs of each one. "No. I do not. It was sound advice. The Mitanni's failure to see the benefit in an alliance does not make it less so. In fact, I plan to use a similar strategy when it comes to General Horemheb, who, despite his many flaws, possesses the ability to see all sides."

"He's still alive?"

Tutankhamun jerked a terse nod. "Herit's body was delivered by rider-less chariot before his sentence could be carried out. The timing proved to be fortuitous as I have come to realize that I cannot thwart a Mitanni invasion without him."

"So he shall be pardoned for betraying his duty and leaving you to die?" Suhad burst out incredulously.

"No. His fate will be decided when Egypt is free of the Mitanni threat."

"And then?"

"And then we will see."

"Is that what you want?"

"That is how it must be."

"I understand. It seems that you have matters in order then," Suhad murmured, noting the tension that continued to linger in his body and expression, "But, if that is so, why do you look as though you have yet more unhappy news to share?"

He flinched at her perceptive observation, his heart thumping heavily with dread over the hurt he knew he was about to deal her. "I need to tell you something and you will likely find it upsetting."

"What is it?" Suhad asked warily, even as every instinct she had told her she should remain ignorant.

"Ankhesenamun...she is with child," Tutankhamun announced flatly, "Evidently, she conceived that night we were together. She gave me the news a short time ago when I went to comfort her over Herit."

Suhad stumbled back a step. "What?"

"She is consumed with grief over all she has lost...Ka...Herit...her perceived place in my life and she has rested all of her hopes on this child...on the prospect of bearing me an heir that will solidify our kingdom and I could not-,"

"-you didn't tell her, did you?" Suhad concluded hoarsely before he could continue, "You said nothing of our plans to her at all?"

"How could I? This changes everything, Suhad."

"No, it doesn't! You asked me to stay. You promised me that you would make me your wife, that you would make me your queen!"

"We both know you've never truly cared for such titles nor did you truly want it."

"That's beside the point!"

"I still have every intention of making you my wife. That has not changed."

"But she will remain your queen and your first obligation and that was not your promise to me!"

"The circumstances are complicated at this time. I cannot very well remove Ankhesenamun as queen when she carries my child!"

"How very convenient for her," Suhad spat scornfully.

"You did not see her, Suhad. I have never known her to be so broken. She is overwhelmed with grief and loss. She virtually begged me to stand beside her in support. Her greatest fear is that I will abandon her and leave her unprotected. What could I do? I did not wish to leave her vulnerable to my enemies or cause her further pain!"

Suhad raised her glittering stare to his imploring one. "Yet, you have no such reluctance against leaving me vulnerable and causing me pain! I'm to simply stiffen my back while being pushed aside for a child conceived from your indiscretion!"

"You know that is not true. I loathe hurting you. It is killing me to have you look at me the way you are looking at me right now. But you are strong, Suhad. My sister does not have your fortitude. If I reject her, she will not survive." He reached out to pull her into his arms, hoping to soothe her tears but she swatted him away angrily. "Don't!" he begged, "...please do not distance yourself from me again!"

"Why do you always think you can take me into your arms and soothe away the pain?" she cried.

"I can try...if you will allow it," he whispered.

Shaking her head in woeful denial of his offer, Suhad hugged her arms around her middle and skirted as far out of his reach as she could. "No. No. Not again. I should have gone home when I first conceived the idea," she muttered to herself again and again, "I knew better. I knew better! I should have returned to Amurru as I originally planned."

"That's not possible now," he told her, "The gates are closed due to the quarantine. It's not safe for you to travel at this time."

Suhad snorted a humorless laugh. "What fortuitous timing, my lord. You've thought of everything." Though it required godlike effort, Suhad gradually composed herself and, after several moments, lifted her expressionless countenance to Tutankhamun. "Congratulations, my king, on your impending fatherhood. Now...if you would please leave me. I wish to be alone."

He reached for her again but then sorrowfully allowed his arms to drop when he recognized that Suhad had no desire to bridge the rift that was rapidly forming between them. "Will you not see my side in all of this? I never anticipated this and I am managing matters as best I can, Suhad! I don't want this to come between us. I love you! Please do not close yourself off from me."

Because she could feel his earnest words already chipping away at the emotional wall she was frantically trying to erect Suhad did the only thing she could...she lashed out at him. "I don't want to see your side! I don't want to hear your voice! I want you to go! Get out!" She pointed towards the exit when he remained rooted in place. "Now!"

With his shoulders bowed in defeat, Tutankhamun turned away and reluctantly did as Suhad commanded. Only when he was gone did her angry bluster dissipate only to be replaced with embittered anguish as the full enormity of what had happened settled heavily upon her. Her body heaving quiet sobs, Suhad sank down onto her knees and gave into her misery, wondering bleakly how she could hate him so thoroughly and yet love him so fiercely at the same time.