A/N Chemical Violets here hanging out with that messy, messy hair and no friends. Just kidding all my mates are here, AKA, you guys.

I decided to make this a two-shot because that's what happens when you write a suicide story you want people to know the reactions, you want to make them cry, that's how it is, you fucking sadist ;).

So here it is, a story in the POV of either Lucy or Natsu, maybe both, I'm not sure. I write these Author's Notes before the story itself and it doesn't always work out how I predicted in the A/N but I'm too lazy to change it.

Warnings: Depression (obviously), swearing, and other dark themes.

Mortality's Sleep

Part 2/2

Gray often compared his life to a Jenga game in front of Natsu. Natsu realized what he meant, as Gray was good at explaining these things when he'd actually open up, but he never understood until his own Jenga game began.

Natsu had been eating breakfast. His dad was watching the news in the living room as the pinkette ate his cereal. He checked his phone periodically, hoping Gray would reply to his frantic text message asking what classes they even had today.

As the sakura dumped his bowl in the sink and ran a bit of water on the ceramic bowl Igneel called him in, his voice wary and overall odd.

"Yea dad?"

"Natsu, I think you need to see this." Igneel pressed play on the remote and Natsu watched the final moments of a traffic report before the anchor began speaking, the headline confusing him but also dragging Natsu's stomach into his throat with it.

16 Year Old Boy Found Dead on Freeway

If Igneel thought Natsu should see this, it must've been someone he knew. Maybe a football friend or an old middle school buddy, but the picture and name that appeared the TV was far worse.

"Last night at approximately 12:23 AM, sixteen-year-old Gray Fullbuster jumped off the Skyline Bridge onto the freeway below, where cars quickly began stopping for his body. Fullbuster was alive for around 3 minutes after the first car stopped before muttering his final phrase and dying."

Natsu watched with wide as his favorite picture of Gray faded from the screen and as the newscaster continued relaying information.

"Police officers found what they assume to be a suicide note in the boy's pocket. Despite the heavy rain they could still make out what it said. 'I'll see you in the clouds someday.' Eyewitnesses say that Fullbuster's final words were 'The angels, I can hear them singing."

The anchors continued speaking, saying their routine of how tragic the event was but Natsu wasn't listening. A million thoughts whirled through his mind.

No… No. Gray needs to be alive. He needs to show up to school today and grin and say he was fine and still is. He needed to get a college scholarship and go to art school. He needed to marry Lucy and become the best damn artist the world had ever seen. And... And… He needs to… He…

Igneel was suddenly in front of him, wrapping his arms around his son in silent reverence. He would miss the raven almost as much. He would miss the young boy knocking on his door and always being in awe of the ostentatious mansion. He would miss Natsu bounding up to him when he got home and asking if he could please go to the block party on Gray's street. He would miss being invited to bonfires in the backyard of the Milkovich-Fullbuster family home and using it as an excuse to take an extra day off work. He would miss the boy's blue eyes and how he would laugh when the doctor told a bad joke that Natsu just rolled his eyes at.

"You wanna stay home?" Natsu shook his head.

"No, the girls and all had student council today. They wouldn't know. I have to tell them first." Natsu spoke clearly despite his tearing eyes and he swiftly and stiffly moved out the door in the direction of school.

"Aunt Grandeeny can pick you up later if she needs to," Igneel called out the door after him.

Natsu ran down the sidewalk, feeling quite sick as the fall colors whirred around him, in a flash of yellow, orange and red. The crisp autumn air stinging his lungs as it was forced quickly in and out of his system in gasping breaths.

He slammed the school doors open, running straight for the student council room, completely ignoring the angry shouts of teachers.

"Natsu?" Lucy looked up as the pinkette rushed in, standing up and taking in his wind-bitten cheeks, his glassy eyes and his ragged breaths. "What's the matter?"

"I-It's Gray." This got everyone's attention. They were all aware of the raven's internal battles against himself and were constantly on pins and needles whenever the raven was absent or seemed slightly off.

"Is he okay?" Levy asked as Natsu caught his scruffy breath. The look in his eyes was enough to supply a steady no to the observers.

"Natsu," Erza commanded. "What is wrong with Gray?" The words sent Natsu over the edge, and the tears that the wind had shoved back finally fell, streaking his tan skin with its bitter raindrops.

"H-he…"

"Words, Natsu."

"Gray is dead."

Silence fell over the room as everyone froze. The quiet was palpable, and Natsu could hear calm indie folk music as though Gray was in the corner of the room, noise seeping from his headphones as he watched his girlfriend go about her school business, the pair flashing each other small smiles occasionally as their cheeks were tinged red.

"H-he jumped off the Skyline last night at around midnight. I saw it on the news."

Lucy fell to her knees, her brown eyes overflowing with tears. "No… He can't be dead. HE CAN'T, NATSU." Lucy stood up angrily, her skin streaked with crystalline droplets she grabbed his collar. "TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING. TELL ME GRAYSON FULLBUSTER IS GOING TO WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR ANY MINUTE AND HIT YOU FOR MAKING THIS UP."

Levy and Erza pulled Lucy off of the pinkette, the golden-haired girl collapsing in her arms with heavy tears falling with graceful strokes down her skin. The crystal clear liquid falling with such precise lines it reminded Natsu of Gray painting and Natsu remembered how he'd watch in awe at his friend's talent as he stood in front of his thrift store easel in Natsu's presence. And he could nearly imagine the dusky black hair waving in the wind flying through the window, the owner of said locks holding a paintbrush in his dominant left hand, headphones blaring as he painted his beautiful girlfriend as he so often did. But this painting wasn't of a beaming, content teenage girl. It was of a weeping, broken-hearted teen, feeling more pain then she ever felt in his life.

Natsu couldn't even bring himself to be angry about Lucy's violent outburst, and as he watched the door he kept willing it to open. For Gray to walk in in all his raven-haired glory, his pale skin tinged red from the cool fall air, an earphone in one ear as he pulled the other out to greet his friends. For him to ask why they looked so sad and to smack the pinkette upside the head with a mutter of Flame Brain as he kissed his golden haired girlfriend on the cheek, whispering a hello to her as he passed by to his seat by the window, sketchbook poised in hand.

The pinkette would give anything to see his best friend's glittering smile, his alabaster skin, his jingling cross necklace and his cobalt blue eyes, the shades of azure swirling like waves in the ocean. But he couldn't. He would never see his best friend breathing again. Never hear that laugh. Never share insults one minute only to laugh it off the next. Never see the mischievous glint in his eyes whenever he got an idea. Never see that creative spark that lit up his eyes whenever he entered the art room. Never listen to his favorite song (Asleep by the Smiths) and secretly enjoy the gentle music, like a lullaby his mom used to sing to him. Never hear that mix of 80s rock and folksy indie music seep from under the raven's doorframe when he entered the old blue home. Never watch the pair of light and dark smile at each other as they held hands under the lunch table. He would never see any of those things ever again, because Gray was gone like snow in spring.

The fall chill had never been more prominent in his life. The wind flittering through the open window was like whispers taunting him. The cold air reminded him of Gray's cold hands against the back of his head whenever they had a playful scuffle.

The room couldn't have been louder between Lucy's loud lamentations, the rest of their sniffles and the current of air flowing through open glass. His own tears were burning his skin as the crisp air clashed with the water.

Natsu's onyx eyes watched as an orange leaf drifted through the air, like when Gray would toss a "failed" sketch away from his desk and it would catch the wind, traveling on the current for a moment before falling out of the wind's protective grasp and slipping onto the floor.

Fuck, everything was reminding him of Gray, and he couldn't shut it off.

"Dammit, Frosty," he whispered to himself. "You always said you didn't want us to experience loss like you did, didn't you realize how much this would hurt us?"

Chemical Violets

Lucy herself was no better. Her Jenga game had begun as well, and she couldn't stop the flooding in her brown eyes.

The golden haired girl kept thinking like Natsu. Of all the things she would never do again, simply because Gray wasn't there with her.

She'd never watch him tune his old guitar as she wrote in her notebook on his bed. She'd never sit in his aunt's old car with him in her driveway after a date as they listened to music and watched the stars, fingers laced together. She wouldn't ever feel his chapped lips on her cheek. She wouldn't listen to his heart beating in his chest as they lay in his lawn and she traced the small freckles on his arm. She wouldn't open up her locker to find a painting and another cryptic note from her boyfriend donning himself "the true Locker Houdini" as opposed to "the annoying bitch from that John Green book you like." She'd never feel his fingers slip through her golden locks as she leaned into him in front of a fireplace. She'd never run her own hands through his soft ebony hair. She'd never see the blue eyes swirl with ribboning emotion. She'd never have Gray Fullbuster again. Her other half was gone.

And he wasn't just home sick from standing out in the rain at night. He wouldn't appear in school a few days later, nose red at the end and chapped from the amount of tissues he went through. He was gone for good. His soul was nothing but a whispery memory in her mind, flowing through her thoughts like the summer zephyr flew through her window at night when Gray would climb up through her window and sit on the bay window with her as they stargazed.

Lucy's dad had never quite approved, saying he didn't want his daughter with the "orphaned basket case" but Gray was Lucy's basket case, and she loved him the way he was.

She didn't love him for the things her dad thought she should love a man for—being rich, having business as his dream, being stable. She loved him for drawing her flowers on a bad day. For sitting on the phone with her for hours even when all they were doing was listening to the sound of each other's breathing. For picking her up for their first date at 3 AM on his bike to listen to music with her by the river. For telling her she was beautiful even when she was sobbing her eyes out over her dad being an asshole. For not downplaying her problems when his were far worse. She loved him for making her happy. She loved him for loving her. She loved him for being Gray.

The two of them had gone together like the sun and the moon. She shone brightly with a personality to match, and he was introverted with a personality as dark as night. But just like the moon, all he needed was a little bit of her sunshine for that alabaster skin to shine as bright as silver.

Lucy couldn't believe he was gone. But he was. Gray Fullbuster had left the world.

Chemical Violets

The crunching of leaves ran through Lucy's ears as she walked across the church parking lot. A gentle, cold drizzle fell on her golden hair. A small group of cars had gathered in front of the church for her boyfriend's funeral. She supposed now he was an ex-boyfriend, but he had never broken it off, and neither had she, so as far as Lucy was concerned they were a couple and would be in the afterlife.

She pushed the doors of the church open, her heeled boots clicking as she walked across the tile flooring into the main part of the church. Her friends were all there.

Erza was sitting rigidly next to her boyfriend Jellal, who was hunched over in his seat. Levy leaned into Gajeel who sat almost as stone-stiff as Erza. Juvia held back tears as she held Gray's older cousin Lyon's head on her shoulder. Natsu sat uncharacteristically still next to his father, not tapping his foot, not drumming his fingers, not looking around. Just still.

The blonde made her way over to Ultear and her mom, Gray's aunt Ur. They smiled at her sadly, Ur wrapping her arms around the young girl who sniffled in her grasp.

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Milkovich."

"Please, call me Ur," the purple-haired woman spoke softly, far different than the way she had spoken when Lucy was at Gray's house. "It'll take us some time, but we'll move on. He's somewhere with his parents now. I like to think wherever he is, at least he's happy." Ur excused herself as tears began to streak from her dark eyes, like the first drops of rain falling from thick storm clouds.

Ultear hung behind, smiling at Lucy with melancholy in her eyes. "Thank you, Lucy. Even if Gray is happy now, wherever he is, I know he'll miss you. You made him happier than he has been since Aunt Mika and Uncle Silver died." Lucy smiled a bit as Ultear forced out a small laugh. "It's funny, I always thought you'd be my sister-in-law one day."

"I was hoping," Lucy admitted with a short laugh.

"Well, in-law or not, Lucy, I'll always consider you a sister." Lucy watched in shock as Ultear went to sit with her brother. The eldest of the Milkovich kids rarely showed such tender emotion, so the pure care in her voice was shocking.

Lucy looked around the church, her brown eyes tired and sad. The church itself looked sad as well. The pews were a burgundy red, worn-out and clad in saggy fabric, holes torn in the material. The rug looked like it was being worn in from years of use and the dusty stain-glass windows weren't shining, for just like the night Gray Fullbuster died, the sky was mourning with fall rain and dark clouds that smothered the air in thick humidity.

"Lucky bastard." Lucy was snapped from her thoughts as Cana approached her, clad in a long, lacy black skirt, a black blouse that was two sizes too small and a knit cardigan. Seeing her look of puzzlement, Cana flicked her head towards the dark colored glass. "Even the sky cries for him." Lucy threw another glance to the window, making an affirmative sound.

The two girls sat in a pew, the wood beneath the cushioning prominent underneath the drooping bench. Lucy ran a hand through her damp blonde hair as she sighed deeply.

"You know the sad thing, Cana? Gray deserves the tears of every human on the planet, and yet it feels like it's just the few of us who even know he exists. To the people who saw him on the news he's just the face of another tragedy. Not someone who loved, and was loved and felt. They know his face but not his story. He doesn't even have a personality to them."

Cana nodded in agreement, dark eyes trained on the floor before her.

"Gray's right, you're gonna be one heck of an author one day. And don't beat yourself up to much about it. I feel a bit bad for those who don't know him, they don't know that the world is missing a fucking talented artist." Lucy smiled, fully agreeing. She was about to speak again when Cana's voice stopped her and she looked up to see the girl gazing intently into her eyes.

"Did you go up to the casket yet?" Upon Lucy's shameful shake of the head she continued speaking. "I think you should. It gave me a bit of closure saying my final goodbyes."

Lucy watched her walk away to check on Natsu and she stood up slowly. Her skirt swished around her freshly shaved legs as she made her way up the stairs to the elevated ground which held the church alter and currently, Gray Fullbuster.

A sharp gasp escaped her lungs as she looked at her boyfriend's corpse. He looked like he was sleeping, but he was far more stiff. She could remember how he looked when he slept. He had often fallen asleep with his head in her lap before on the school grounds and fell asleep whilst stargazing before.

When the raven slept his face was gentle and calm, his blue eyes under eyelids pale enough that if they got any whiter, the oceanic blue would be visible. Even when not asleep in her lap, his cheeks were always tinted with a faint blush when he slept, as though he felt her eyes on him. His chest would rise and fall gently, the iPod he almost always fell asleep with slipping further down his chest with each soft breath. His dark hair would quiver slightly in whatever breeze it caught, whether that was the wind or the air conditioner/heater humming behind him.

He was too stiff. It was unnatural. His hair was combed in an attempt to flatten the wild strands and Lucy knew he would've been annoyed at the awkward manor his hair fell in. Gray's face had a long cut down it and she knew beneath that suit he had broken bones they tried to hide from the public. Most likely no one had touched him since his aunt identified him in the morgue the night it happened. Touching a corpse was weird to most people, but Lucy had been through this before with her mom.

She ran a hand through his hair like he was sleeping, her fingers placing the hairs back where they should be as they made their way through the course. She leaned her ear against his chest gently, tears falling from her closed eyes. Where she would normally hear the steady beating of his chest, she felt nothing. Lucy wiped her eyes as she kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear as he often did while greeting her.

"Bakka. How am I supposed to live normally without you by my side?"

When the ceremony began Lucy listened to a priest speak about how Gray would be missed and couldn't help but feel angry. This damn priest didn't even know Gray. But then Natsu took the microphone to talk about his best friend, and Lucy instantly forgot him. Because Natsu looked terrible.

Natsu looked like Death had passed through him but hadn't killed him like it had Gray. His pink hair was messier than normal, onyx eyes sad and glassy and his voice was ragged and cracking every few seconds. It brought even more tears to Lucy's already moist eyes.

"Umm… I don't know what really to say. You all knew Gray. H-He was my best friend. I really wish he had come to me. Gray was a great guy. He deserved the best. He deserved to go to college and become an artist. He deserved to be rolling in cash and to be more famous than freakin' Picasso—let's be honest, Picasso's work doesn't really make much sense anyway, does it?

"He's been my best friend since kindergarten. I was there for him when his parents died. I was there for him when he first fell into depression... I just wish that he would've let it through his frozen brain that I would've been there for him. God, Gray you idiot. Did you not realize that we were all there for you? When you need someone to pick you up, you ask for help." Lucy felt her tears fall as she watched Natsu crack right before her eyes. He slammed his hands on the wooden podium.

"GODDAMMIT, GRAY. DID YOU NOT REALIZE YOU COULD'VE TALKED TO ME? OR LUCY, OR LOKE, OR CANA, HELL YOU COULD'VE GONE TO ERZA. We were ALL there for you. Are you so fucking dense that you didn't think we'd be there for you? I know you have some serious image issues but you can't be that dumb!

"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE YOU'RE DEAD WHEN I COULD'NT EVEN ALLOW MYSELF TO BELIEVE YOU NEEDED HELP. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS OFF THAT DAY AND I BRUSHED IT OFF. What kind of best friend am I if I couldn't even help you?" By this point, Natsu's voice had broken off in a whisper, cracking and desperate.

"We were brothers, Gray. Brotherhood means you're there for each other. I may be one pathetic excuse for a brother but you're just as bad. You didn't even think of me when you did it, did you? You selfish bastard. Some brothers we are. I wasn't there for you and you're not going to be there for me. You can't. I can't ever see you or those devious blue eyes again. You're dead. You're dead and it's all my fault. It's my fault."

There wasn't a dry eye in the house as Igneel ran up to his son and scooped him up in his arms like he was a child, running a hand through the pinkette's hair as he sobbed into his dad's shoulder. Natsu hardly ever cried, and to see him break down completely was almost as bad as seeing Gray's lifeless body.

Lucy rushed up to him and the two cried for their lost friend. Their best friend. The pinkette's best friend and the blonde's other half.

"I always knew he'd fall eventually," Natsu spoke through gritted teeth. "But I didn't think he'd fall so hard. His life was like nothing but a game to the world, and unfortunately his opponent was too good of a player. The best. Lucy Heartfilia you better write about this boy someday. The world deserves to meet their fallen soldier."

They were both holding up their own teetering towers—just like Gray, however it seemed as though Life didn't find them as interesting as opponents as the raven had been. Life had lost just as hard as Gray had. Because as I said in the last part. Life is just a game. And like all games, you get tired of it eventually. The game is twisted and dark, and even life itself can get tired with the game it created. There's no escaping the game while you're playing, and there's no escaping the game once it's done.

It's the same twisted cycle. The same whirlwind over and over again. Life had lost just as hard as Gray and the other's had that night. It lost an opponent. Just another example of a time Life played too well.

A/N Okay, I was home sick today. I started writing at around 2:30 and now it's 10:30. Hope you enjoyed part two out of two. I hope you cried ;) I almost did. How pleasantly narcissistic.

-Chemical Violets