Chapter 2

The sun was rising when we both woke. We weren't in the bed anymore and the mattress was underneath us, with puncture wounds to show the battle. I wanted to say something, anything, but the ring he had thrown into the pile last night returned to my left middle finger this morning and with it the stark realization there was no promises I could make. I was committed to another. We left out the same way we got in and he drove me back to Rosalie's, dropped me off and drove away. He never looked at me, never met my eyes. But what did I expect? No regrets. You got your answers. He still loves you, still thinks about you. No regrets. A voice kept telling me in my head, but then why did I still feel so empty? I didn't open the door to Rosalie's. I didn't do anything, but get into my car and drive the hour and a half back home.

I got home and no one was there to greet me. I wondered if my husband had noticed I was gone. Of course, I had told him I was going out with Alice and wasn't expected to make it home because I didn't know what the Girl's Night entailed. So, there's a chance he didn't expect me. I headed to the bedroom when I turned on my cell just out of habit. Of course, I had a few missed calls.

"Bella. It's just me, Edward. I was just calling to see how your Girl's night went. Let me know. Love you, 'bye."

"Bella. It's Alice, Call me when you get in. I need to know where you are."

"Bella! It's Rosalie! Call NOW! We are ready to call the cops for you!"

"Bella, I have to pull a long day so I probably won't be home when you get home, but at least call me and let me know where you are. Love you. 'Bye."

I wanted to ignore all of them, but I called Alice; knowing she might be the more forgiving out of the three.

"Hey Alice."

"Bella! What the hell!? Where are you? What happened to you?"

"Yeah, I'm home. Jacob happened to me. I really don't feel good, so I am going to take a shower and go to bed," trying to avoid any impending visits for girl talk, I wasn't up for it.

"Okay, but call me and tell me just what the hell happened to you."

"Yeah ok. Hey! Can you call Rosalie for me and apologize."

"Yeah I guess, but you still owe her BIG TIME!"

"Yeah, later."

I didn't give Alice the chance to hang up. I made the next dreaded call. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four rings. Five rings. Six rings. Of course, voicemail. My favorite buddy.

"Hey this is Edward. I am either at work or sleeping so leave a voicemail and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks. Bye."

"Hey it's just me, Bella. I am at home. Girl's Night was harsh, so I am just going to take a hot shower and go to bed. I guess I'll talk to you later." I let exhaustion seep into every word. I did not want him coming home to wake me up and ask more questions before I was ready to answer.

I walked into the lavish shower with three shower heads to make sure I was clean. As I was peeling off the clothes from last night, reminding myself to toss them into the laundry later. I was finding all the bruises I had endured. I was going to have to come up with some quick excuses. Maybe I had started taking up kickboxing and this was from practice spar. That would work. I would just have to look into kickboxing later. The hot water ran down my body, with it the traces of Jacob. I could still smell the cologne in the air, left from my skin carried by the water vapor. I scrubbed my head, trying to get the memory of last night out of my head. Like that was going to work. It hadn't work for the last decade, what made me think it would work now? When my skin was starting to turn into a prune and was red from my attempts to remove him from my body, I got out of the shower, toweled off and wrapped myself in my terry cloth bathrobe and dropped into bed. I wasn't even aware I had been sleeping when I seen lights flashing through my bay bedroom windows. I woke with a start and immediately grabbed the clothes still lying on the floor and flew down to the basement to start a load of laundry. I just got the washer going when Edward walked in the door.

"Bella! Bella! Where are you?"

"Down here!"

"What are you doing in the basement?"

"Laundry."

"Why? I thought you had a laundry service for that?"

"I do, but I wanted to make sure I knew how to do it for myself."

Edward had learned a long time ago, I came with quirks. He just shrugged his shoulders. Then looking over my appearance, "Apparently you didn't get my message."

"Huh?" Was my clever response.

"I left you a voicemail. Even called the house, but you must have been too tired to answer."

"Oh sorry. What's going on?"

"We have a dinner invite from the Board of Directors of the hospital."

"Okay, just give me a few. I can be ready."

"Please hurry or we will be very late."

"We are late already?"

"Yes."

"Just tell them you got caught up at your job or with your wife!" It would be nice if he would turn some of that passion of his work on me, but he's always too tired. Edward just sighed. We had had this fight too many times. I knew his argument. He knew mine. I wanted attention. He wanted to provide. Do I like my nice things, then they come with a price. That price is his working. I didn't marry him just to be alone every night all the time. And I don't give a damn about the money.

I went back into the master bedroom and found the dress I kept for such occasions. It was a black simple number with a box neckline and an open back. Luckily, my hair had kept curly in the towel, so I threw some mouse in it and a hair clip for a messy updo. Then a light application of make up and a quick brushing of the teeth and I was ready to go. I applied a quick squirt of my department store perfume and some deodorant and I was good to go. Edward laughed as he looked at my feet, they were shoeless, and so I skipped back in and came out with my pumps. I was still feeling pretty proud of myself for going from not ready to ready in ten minutes when we got in the car and Edward started to notice all the bruises on my arms and wrists. I threw a small jacket around my arms.

"I took up kickboxing. It was a beginner's sparring match. I lost." Edward just shook his head. He was quiet the whole time and I was grateful for it.

The Dinner was what to be expected. The whole black tie affair. No different than thousands of others I had gone to in the last few years. There was some talk about Edward becoming a head of department for the hospital and the great work he was doing for mankind. All I could see was a bunch of wolves in sheep's clothing. People travelled for miles to be able to have Edward as their doctor and for this, I was very proud. However, they kept him there because he was also able to make them more money due to the demand rather than just the fact that they had to work for it.

All of a sudden I started to feel sick to my stomach and if one more old man touched me or tried to feel my backside, I was going to jail for assault and possibly attempted murder. I had to get out of there. Of course, I am starting to notice my main reaction to anything anymore is just to run. But, why fix something that works? I grabbed my small jacket and headed out to the crisp night air, wanting to find some relief. I hadn't even paid attention to where we were going on the way here and was rewarded for my ignorance with the realization we were close to my old hometown, Forks. We were actually on the other side of the reservation. Jacob. I started walking. Again, there is no explanation for what I was doing. Any normal person would be screaming at how stupid I was. I had everything; I wanted for nothing and yet, I wanted more. I had only got about 10 feet from the building when Edward was calling me.

"Bella! Hey Bella! Where are you going?" Call me chicken, but I wasn't ready to face the consequences of my actions. I just turned around and walked back to Edward with my head down. My beautiful husband with the rusty color hair, strong tortured features, deep green eyes. He makes every girl in the known world swoon at the thought that he might look at them. Everyone except me.

"I just wanted to go for a small walk."

"Hey what is going on with you? You are usually more sociable than this. You didn't even greet my parents."

Hey wait, they are in there? Shit!

"I am sorry. I just don't feel good and not really up for a social call."

"Yeah, I thought that was the reason and told them such. Do you wanna go home?" The look of disappointment in Edward's face could be pliable.

"No we need to stay. I am just going to be a few minutes and I will be right in." Edward's face started to relax. He gave me a quick hug and headed back in to socialize once more. Ugghh. I couldn't stand the thought of going back in there and having all those dirty old men touching me all the time. When I turned around for the second time, I was satisfied to find no one was watching me and I was free to do as I wished. I started walking once more.

*-*-*-*-* Jacob's POV *-*-*-*-*

He was the last person I expected to be on my doorstep. The absence of pure hatred was also another surprise. I pulled in front of my lake house. He was on the front porch. I looked at him and he made eye contact with me.

Shit. Now I have to say hi and at least acknowledge him.

As I as walking up towards my house, I was trying to find her, but she seemed to be nowhere in sight. I noticed he actually looked human; the fancy tux may have been clean and pressed at one point, now looked well worn.

His majesty can actually condescend to be human! Shit! Had he been crying? What the hell do I do with that?

I nodded my head in his direction while I was trying to remember if I had anything stronger than beer in the house. He stood in the doorway and I waved him in. A closer inspection of his face revealed he had been crying, the rims of his eyes were red.

"So, have you seen her?"

I was standing in the fridge, reaching for those beers when his question froze me. Granted I hadn't thought of her in the last fifteen minutes, but to have him bring her up makes that wound a little bigger.

"No." He didn't make any move. I shoved the beer towards him. For about ten minutes, we sat there at the dining table. As usual, I was approaching beer 2 when I noticed he wasn't halfway through with beer 1. Once again he caught me watching him and somehow this was an invitation to start talking. I had to admit I wanted to know where she was and why he was in my house.

"She left. I don't know why. I thought things were good- my practice was good. She had everything she ever needed, but tonight, we were at a dinner party for the hospital and she just went out for a walk and never returned. I figured she'd call some family or friends for support, but then I remembered you lived nearby. I took a gamble. I just don't know what went wrong.

I'm still in shock about this, but here is the man who took off with my world asking me for advice?! I look skeptically over. He's looking at me with expectation. Alright, I'll tell him.

"Maybe it's the fact that you took her and put her in a cookie cutter lifestyle that she never wanted? Maybe it's because you never accepted every beautiful bright, dark, twisted side of her. Maybe for once, instead of trying to protect her all the time, you should let her go and watch how far she'll fly." I knew my face was red from the rant, but dammit, why didn't he just leave her alone? She would be in my bed waiting for me if he had. She could be heavy with my child if he had. I would be whole if he had!

Edward stepped back from me like I had slapped him. Well, he wanted the truth and now he got it!

I had been reliving that night with her every breathing moment since. I knew there was something she was telling me that night and I had finally figured it out. She was trying to break free. She was trying to fly and I was the only one who was going to show her the way. I had given her that taste of freedom and now, she had grabbed it with both hands and flew away. Now, there was no chance to know where she would go. I had a couple guesses Alice might know, but I needed to know what he knew in order to save time and not retrace his steps. Then again, I may have more luck with Alice than he did; if she seen how much pain Bella was in.

"Let me make a phone call." I grabbed the cell out of my leather jacket and headed to the bedroom in the back of the house.

One ring. Two rings.

"Hello?" Her voice wasn't chipper for once and I could tell she was stressed about something.

"Hey Alice, its Jake. Have you seen Bella?" I could hear her voice hitch.

"No, I haven't. Why are you looking for her?"

"I got word that she was missing."

"Hmmm… I haven't seen her. Serious. If you find her, tell her to call me."

"Yeah will do."

I walked out to the main part of the house to find Edward was looking at the pictures on the wall. There were some of my parents and siblings, but there were also some of my friends and his wife was one of my friends. She was smiling in this one with Paul and Quil. In the other, she was just lying in the sun on the beach. When I walked in, he heard me and questioned with his eyes. I just shook my head.

"I just don't know where she would've gone to."

I started to look outside at the stars. It was a clear calm night for once. The type of calm that makes you believe you could reach up and catch the stars.

Where the hell are you?

*-*-*-*-*- Bella POV *-*-*-*-*

I saw his house from far away. I had been climbing through the woods, making sure to keep a somewhat straight path. My feet froze when I was just inside the trees. I studied what was going on inside. There were two people. One was Jacob, of that I was sure, but who was the other person? It never crossed my mind that he could have another girlfriend. Hell, we were just making love 24-hours ago! Still, we didn't make any promises or clear anything up. But that's when I noticed that the other shadow was a shadow I knew well. The lean strong features of the face; the unruly hair. It was Edward! Oh shit! I had never really told Edward about Jacob. More like skimmed over him and that was that. I didn't go over my past, he didn't go over his and we were good like that. Until the past became the present and then it was a big problem. I didn't know what time it was. I didn't really care, but it was starting to get cold and my feet were killing me in the pumps. I hadn't planned on going for a hike tonight. The dress was offering little protection. Well, I could go down there and face the music, tail between my legs; not an option. I could call Edward on the cell and tell him I am lost and to come and find me in the middle of the woods. Likely story, but I was not going back into my cage willingly. I could call Alice and get yelled at and she would come save me. No, better not to drag her into this mess. She has enough problems of her own. It was then I remembered Jacob had a garage with some old blankets inside. I could go in there and hide out for a while. At least until Edward left and then talk to Jacob and find somewhere to sleep for awhile. I started to make the trek to the garage when I fell down. Stupid heels. I kicked off my shoes, but couldn't get back up. I was so exhausted, tired, cold, and hungry. I just needed to close my eyes.

*-*-*-*-* Jacob's POV *-*-*-*-*

I was staring out the window when I watched something fall to the ground, but it never got back up again. As if the Universe wanted me to see what it was, the moonlight was particularly bright on this one spot and I noticed her brown hair and pale skin. Without thinking, I flew out the French doors of my patio and Edward, upon hearing my movement, came running as well, was hot on my tracks. When he saw what I had saw, he was more anxious. I got to her first.

"Bella! What the hell!?" I threw my arms around her and picked her up. Edward was trying to take her from me, but just as she used to, her hands were curled up in my shirt, her face and body were turning toward my warmth. There was no way she was going to go without a fight. The more he struggled, the more she protested.

"Edward! Leave her alone! Let's just get her inside." I noticed there was no extra meat on her. She was so thin. Of course, my Bella was slim to start with, but this was bordering on scary. I don't know why I didn't notice it last night. Maybe because you just wanted to claim what was yours! I put my guilt trip on hold. There was going to be plenty of time for that later.

Back in the house, I put Bella in my bed, wrapping all the blankets I could find around her. I wanted to get her out of the cold, wet clothes, but stripping another man's wife down to her underwear in front of said man isn't a good idea, so I motioned for Edward to take over. He tried, he was being gentle, but Bella wasn't having it. She curled into a ball and tears started to flow from her eyes. I looked at him and he looked at me.

"Bella, it's okay. You are safe now." Edward was trying to console her, but I didn't think it was going to happen. She didn't open her eyes, but rolled back into a smaller, tighter ball with the tears silently streaming down her pale cheeks. I had to get out of there before I shoved him away from his wife and took care of my Bella.

*-*-*-*-*Edward's POV*-*-*-*-*

I have no idea what in the world she was doing going through the woods dressed for a dinner party. I don't know why she would be doing something so crazy. There was something here that needed and explanation and yet I have no idea what it is. My wife's frame was slight to start with, but was bordering on anorexic when I finally got the chance to look at her. The bruises from her latest interest in kickboxing were starting to show due to her lack of fatty tissue. I wanted to take her to a hospital and put her through tests, get an IV in her and more fluids so she would be healthy again, but somehow I just knew Jacob wasn't going to let that happen. Not the way he was hanging around all of the time. So getting her warm and conscious was the main concern. There were three blankets on her by the time we were done and she still hadn't reached out to us, but she was dreaming. I could tell by the rapid eye movement she was showing. This was a good thing. At least something was going on in her brain. I just wish I knew what.

*-*-*-*-*Bella's POV*-*-*-*-*

I was standing beside Jacob, but there was Edward standing just outside of my view. My feelings with Jacob started to fade away and so had he. I wanted him to stay. To remind me I was worth something to someone once upon a time. Edward came closer. The more Jacob faded, the closer Edward got. I started to panic and wanted to move, but my feet wouldn't cooperate with me. I looked at Jacob and there was nothing I could do to make him stay; I didn't have the strength to turn Edward away, but I didn't have the heart to pretend Jacob didn't exist. All of a sudden, there was quicksand under my feet and the more I struggled to get free, the more I sank. Jacob was still fading, but I was going too. The more he faded, the more I sank. I had but one option, Edward. If I could just make it to him, then I would be safe. All I had to do was choose the man I wanted to be with. Was that so hard? I knew outside, my cheeks were wet from my own tears and I was able to sense the both of the next to me; one on each side. I didn't want to accept consciousness. That would mean I would have to answer questions and I wasn't up for it. Apparently, my body couldn't stand to be wrapped like a mummy and my claustrophobic tendencies took over. I busted out of the cocoon they had built for me and took a deep breath in.

Ready or not, let's get this over with.

I woke up, the type of wake up where you can feel the rest of your body reaching consciousness before you admit to open your eyes. I opened my eyes and my husband looked at me with his green eyes, full of worry and accusation. There was anger there, just under the surface, but there was also concern. I had a lot of explaining to do and he was expecting it. Fair.

"Bella?"

"Yea?"

"How are you?" He went into Doctor-Mode. He was using his bedside manner first. I could appreciate that.

"I am good. Hungry, but good."

"Okay. I would like to take you to the hospital for some testing. We need to get you better."

"Ummm… Ok. I guess." I shifted under the covers.

"Bella, there's nothing left of you. I don't know how I missed it, but I am here now and I am going to take better care of you. I am going to be there for you more." He leaned in with his forehead against mine, his eyes pinched shut. "Bella, I am so sorry."

I can't explain it, but it was too late. I didn't want him there for me. I didn't want him to take care of me. Why couldn't he be there for me before I got so bad? Why did I have to be on the edge of Death before he could finally make me a priority? I sighed and pulled back.

"No, Edward. Not anymore. I know you are sorry and I appreciate the apology, but I don't want your empty promises anymore. I don't want this lonely lifestyle. I didn't get married to only talk to your voicemail. I didn't marry you to be a socialite. I married you to be with you, next to you, out to dates with just the two of us. Not the trophy wife at home. I need more. Hell, I deserve more from you." Surprisingly, I wasn't screeching at him, I wasn't being hysterical. I was perfectly calm. I continued.

"I want to come home to someone who can see through me and yet find me challenging all of the time. Someone who knows when the rain falls outside, there is no way I am going to stay in; who knows the perfect movie to play on Sunday Morning. Someone who is going to be there for me as much as I am going to be there for them.

You should've known I was unhappy. I don't know how you could have missed it. We have been together for how many years? Somewhere in there, you went one way and I didn't follow. Somewhere in there we lost us.

I don't want the money. I could really careless. I just want to be done. I want this to be over and painless as possible."

Edward pulled away. I couldn't see his face due to the low lighting. I didn't know what he was thinking, but that could've been a good thing. If I had seen his face, then there was no way I would be able to tell him everything I was thinking.

"I gave you everything; you didn't have to want or need for anything in the world. Yes, I know it came with a cost. Lately, it seems the only thing we could talk about. I know you have wanted to get away and we could do that. We could move. You can pick where we would go. You can get into any hobby you wanted and I would be home every night."

I just shook my head.

"No, Edward. Nothing is going to change my mind. You are a beautiful doctor and shouldn't deprive the world of your genius. I just don't want to be a casualty. You need someone who is content to be on the sidelines; that's not me. I want to travel the world and see everything it has to offer. I want to be lost in the world and find myself. This is best for the both of us."

"So that's it. I am just not enough for you anymore?" He turned the light green eyes of his on me the color of those eyes are a sign of tears behind.
"Not enough, no. Just not mine anymore. We have grown apart and that's not a bad thing. Just a thing." My voice was a whisper.

I noticed Jake is standing outside the door. I hadn't noticed when he was in the room and when he wasn't. It didn't matter and yet it did. With the ending of this relationship, I would be able to start one with him. Once I got my feet back under me and felt whole again. The weight of my decision is starting to weigh on me.

Edward just stood up. "I will go and find a hotel room and an apartment in the morning. Will that work for you?"

"Edward, just take the house. I can stay with my Dad for a while until we get everything settled." He just nodded. The professional, worldly Man was leaving and the slope of his shoulders was showing the same weight I was starting to get used to. Without looking up, he just walked out of the door, leaving the door open.

With Edward gone, Jake shut the door and walked into the room I was in. I was just sitting under the covers.

"Well, that is interesting."

"Yeah."

"If you wanna crash here, that would be ok with me."

I looked up at him to see no ulterior motive there, but the wonderful friend I had missed, willing to pick me up after I had destroyed my world.

Everything began to sink in. The house, the stuff I could really care less about, but what about our friends? What will his parents think? How many worlds have I single-handedly destroyed in those final words? I just burst into tears. Jake came to my side instantly, pulling me into his chest. Almost as if he could see the wheels in my head spinning.

"Shhh, Bella. It will be ok. Everything will right itself."

"But I just ruined so many lives. I just left everyone that needed me. What about his parents? What about our friends? What am I going to tell the world?

"Well, honestly, if they were any sort of friend, then they would be understanding. You are just trying to make your life better and take care of yourself. Don't ever apologize for taking care of you."

"Ok." I pulled away to look up at him and noticed my mascara had run all down his shirt. I was wiping it away.

"Don't worry about it."

"Ok." I curled back under the covers and cried myself to sleep. There was nothing else that could be done now.