Cas looked at Dean across the room. He saw he was tense, shoulders hunched over, one hand gripping the edge of the table tightly. Cas anxiously waited for him to make a move. Uncomfortable silence stretched on.
"Dean?" Cas repeated, encouraging him to respond. Dean's eyes snapped downwards. He grabbed his coffee mug and got up, walking over to the kitchen sink and carelessly tossing the cup in. He put both hands on the countertop and leaned into them, head tilted forward and eyes closed. He let out a shaky breath and kept his back to the angel.
Sam cleared his throat and stood up from the table. "I'm going out. It looks like you two need some privacy." He walked towards the bunker exit, pausing a moment to look over his shoulder. "Good to have you back, man."
Cas stayed glued to his spot after Sam left. He didn't know what to do or say. He didn't want to make things worse. He didn't know if that was even possible. He knew he needed to start talking. "Dean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't read your texts. I'm sorry I didn't call you. I'm sorry I disappeared. I'm sorry I kissed you…"
"Stop." Dean spoke up and Cas fell back into silence. "It's not your fault. None of this was your fault." Dean opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder at Cas. "I fucked this up. I lied to myself. Ignored how I felt about you. For years. It was only a matter of time before it blew up in my face."
Cas took a tentative step forward. "Did you mean what you wrote me?" he started a slow walk towards the hunter. "About being worried about me? About thinking that meant…" he reached where Dean was standing and stood within his personal space. "Thinking you love me?"
Dean tensed again but managed to give a slight nod. Cas reached out and nudged Dean's side, encouraging him to turn around. Once they were facing each other Dean gathered up the strength to speak again. "I can't promise you that I won't freak out again."
"If it happens again, we'll deal with it." Cas looked over Dean's features. He looked more ragged close up. He could see the few wrinkles around his eyes, and grey hairs in his beard, that he had developed over the years. Cas felt an overwhelming need to comfort the hunter, to take care of him. He leaned in so until their lips were almost touching. "Is this OK?"
"Yes," Dean exhaled and kissed him lightly. Cas quickly took control, and soon they were chest to chest in a heated make out session against the kitchen counter. This time Dean allowed Cas to move his tongue against his own, allowed his facial hair to rub against his own. He surprised himself with the ease in which he followed the angel's lead.
Dean didn't know how long they kissed for. The kitchen counter pressing into his lower back gradually became painful. He pressed a hand against Cas's chest and ducked his head down to rest on the angel's shoulder. They caught their breaths and stood together in silence.
Dean's stomach growled loudly and he smiled into Cas's shoulder. "Want some breakfast?"
When Sam got back he popped his head into the kitchen, slightly worried about what he would find. He wouldn't have been surprised if the two men had beaten each other to a bloody pulp. He also wouldn't have been surprised to find them naked together on the floor. Instead he found them both sitting at the table with nearly empty plates. Cas was smiling as Dean told another one of his battle stories.
Sam walked over to the duo and pulled out a chair to sit down. "Everything back to normal?"
Dean looked nodded at Cas before turning to Sam. "Cas is staying here. With us."
"Good. We could use the help." Sam looked the two men over. Dean was putting on his act-like-everything's-fine-even-though-its-not face which Sam learned to see through years ago. Cas was awkwardly fiddling with his hands while not making eye contact. He never had a good poker face.
Sam didn't push for answers. He knew he would find out on his own sooner or later. Hopefully Dean would come to him again like he did earlier that morning. Sam got back to business. "I think I have a hunt ready if you're up for it. Three people dead in the next town over. Ripped limb from limb. Sounds easy enough."
"Don't jinx it, Sammy." said Dean. Within a few minutes the three of them piled into the Impala and were on their way.