Sam walked into the Men of Letters bunker late at night with Dean and Cas shuffling in behind him. Their clothing was stained with blood. Some of it was their own. Some not. Dean raised a hand and shielded his eyes from the florescent lighting. He paused and leaned against the large wooden library table for support. Cas reached an arm out to steady him, letting his hand rest of the hunter's shoulder. He gave it a comforting squeeze.
"'Night," Sam muttered and walked off down the hallway towards his bedroom. His footsteps echoed through the building. His door creaked closed and the duo were left in silence.
Once they had some privacy, Dean stepped forward to close the space between them, and pulled Cas in for a tight hug. He tilted his head and gave him a short, sleepy kiss. Dean spoke quietly. "I've wanted To do that all day."
"You could have," Cas offered.
Dean shook his head and pressed more of his weight against the angel. "We never had a moment alone."
Cas started running his hand over his back in small circles. "Does Sam know? About us?"
"Yes," Dean answered, then shrugged. "Yes and no. I told him why you left. I didn't tell him why you came back. But still, him knowing about it is different than him seeing it."
A quiet hum was the only response he received. They stayed quiet long enough for Cas to think Dean was falling asleep. "Dean? It's late." Dean grunted but didn't move. "Sam went to bed. Shouldn't we as well?"
Dean pulled away from the embrace while nodding. "C'mon," he said as he headed towards his room. Cas followed behind him, expecting to be brought to another bedroom which he could call his own. But instead Dean entered his own room and left the door open behind him. Cas stayed standing in the doorway.
"Shut the door," Dean said and started stripping off his clothing. Cas did as he was told and copied Dean's actions. Once Dean was down to a t-shirt and boxers he looked over to see Cas standing in his underwear and unbuttoned dress shirt, unsure of whether or not to remove it. Dean went to his dresser and dug out one of his old t-shirts, and tossed it to Cas. "Put that on."
Shortly thereafter the two men lay side by side on their backs in Dean's bed, blankets pulled up to their waists. Cas looked over Dean's prone body in the darkened room. He wanted to pull him over and kiss him. He wanted to strip them both naked and lay together, bare skin against skin. He wanted them to cuddle in their sleep. But he also wanted Dean to take the lead.
Cas turned onto his side towards Dean. He smiled when Dean turned his head and met his eyes, then shyly dropped his gaze. Dean grunted and shook his head. "I feel like some green teenager who's never had anyone in his bed before."
Dean's hands gripped the sheets tightly as he tried to push back his nerves. He met Cas's eyes again with a determined look and leaned over the angel, kissing him hard. He pushed on Cas's shoulders until he was on his back again, and held him down as they kissed passionately. Cas tried to reach a hand up to Dean's hair, but Dean grabbed his wrist and pinned it above his head.
Cas whined and struggled a little, not used to letting someone else have such control over him. He felt conflicted as his mind told him to push Dean off, but his body was turned on. His skin flushed but the color was hidden by the darkness. He felt himself start to get hard and he bucked his hips up towards Dean.
As soon as Dean felt Cas's erection rub against his leg, he pulled away from the kiss, startled. He sat up in bed, edging away from the other man, looking away. He suddenly needed it all to stop. He turned his back to Cas and dropped his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I just… I just need a minute… I just…" Dean rambled, not knowing how to explain what he was feeling.
"It's OK. We can stop." Cas sat up behind Dean, but kept his distance from him. He saw his shoulders shake a little. He carefully scooted closer to him. The bed creaked as he moved and he saw Dean's head tilt slightly to the side. Once his chest was against Dean's back, he gently wrapped his arms around him. Dean stiffened at first, but then relaxed against him.
"It's late," Cas whispered into Dean's ear. His voice was low and soothing. "Let's get some rest. We'll talk about it in the morning."
Dean nodded and the two men lay down together. They were close together but the only physical contact was one of Cas's hands resting lightly on Dean's shoulder. They both relaxed and quickly let their exhaustion from the day's events take over them, drifting away to sleep.