What? Me, not update for over a month? Preposterous!

...heh. Yeah, sorry about that. But I'm baaaaaackkkk, and you're just lucky I didn't leave you on a cliffhanger. Now that would have been cruel.

Anyway, now that this is out of the way, I can finally get to writing part 3 of the Dojo in Dubai series, which I will start right after I get back from...did you guess it?

DUBAI! Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha this is what I'm like all the time I'm so sorry if you actually read these A/Ns because you've literally just lost twenty IQ points Oh what is my life!?

Also, if you haven't checked out my little one-shot called 'Notes', posted separately from my one-shot series, then go read it now! It's madness, I tell you, MADNESS!

Stop, Maddie! Give the readers what they want!

No.

Yes.

NO!

YES!

AJWHEFIHBIUHGIUBJRKHBBVJ ;VOLRTJOVHBEIHRT

~.~

Jack was a gargoyle.

My best friend, a supernatural being.

The boy I was in love with, a part-time marble monster.

I felt like I was in Twilight.

And Jack was putting on a great Edward Cullen impression, too; he wasn't as moody of course, having gone almost completely back to his usual, annoying, carefree self, but whenever I brought up the subject of the supernatural aspect of his life, he completely cut me off, acting all mysterious and changing the subject. I had no idea why, though. I mean, I'd already seen him rocking the whole underworld look, and I'd seen him kick some serious ass back at Brody's house a week ago, so I just couldn't see where the problem was.

And that was what had me upset. How were we supposed to make this friendship work if he was still keeping things from me?

I mean, I had basically told him that night out on the swingset that I didn't give a flying fuck that he occasionally liked to turn into an angry glowing rock. In fact, if anything I kind of thought it was badass. I mean, how many (human - wow, it was gonna take some time for me to get used to having to make that distinction) teenage girls could honestly claim that they were in love with a gargoyle? None that I knew.

But at the same time, this revelation had put my whole life into perspective; humans weren't the only intelligent beings on this earth. There were werewolves, vampires, fairfolk (whatever the fuck they were) and gargoyles. Like Jack. And Jack's family. And a whole chunk of California. And suddenly, I didn't know what to think. All of this information, although eye-opening, was also somewhat terrifying. Not that I'd ever tell Jack that, because honestly, what good would that do but cause him to distance himself even more from me? But...the things I went through...that attack, that I now know was definitely not an ordinary, human beating...it felt like I was being flayed alive, and I'd already had one or two nightmares about it since it had happened, and now I realized that there was so much more danger in the world, so many threats that I wasn't even aware of. How many other times had I thrown myself right into danger without even realizing it? I had no idea of what I was walking into when I went to see Brody the week before, but he could have killed me so easily if he had wanted to. I had given him plenty of opportunities, arming myself with only a measly taser. It was a miracle that I was still alive.

Come to think of it, why was I still alive? Brody very obviously wanted to cause me harm - why else would he order an attack on me? I just didn't understand any of it. There was so much I knew Jack wasn't telling me - particularly why Brody kept referring to me as Jack's - and I had no idea where to go for answers. Should I go to Mr. and Mrs. Brewer? No, bad idea; I may not even be supposed to know, and revealing to them that I know their secret might get Jack into some serious trouble. But it wasn't as if I could just pop over to the library and check out a book about gargoyles, either.

God, why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

I had to face the fact that I probably wasn't going to be getting the answers I wanted any time soon, and deal with it. I still had Jack, and at the moment, that's what mattered most. I couldn't afford to push him away from me with my constant pushing. So, begrudgingly, I decided to let the subject drop, just content myself with the knowledge that I already had;

Jack was a gargoyle, and I was in love with him. Yup, that pretty much summed it up.

I had managed to push these thoughts aside for a while as I walked into the supermarket, my sister in tow as my dad browsed for telephone chargers in the electronics store across the road. We were supposed to be buying something for dinner, but somehow I had allowed myself to be dragged several isles too far, into the frozen goods section, where Isabelle had apparently felt the urgent need to open the glass doors and climb inside with the ice-cream, perching herself over a tub of Chunky Monkey like a penguin incubating its egg.

I rolled my eyes as the people around us shot her a mixture of amused, confused and disapproving looks, and I had to fight her to tug the door back open, pulling her out by her ankles and appeasing her with promises of frozen desserts for dinner.

I hoped dad liked raspberry ripple, 'cause Izzy ended up shoving three tubs of it into the cart.

She then decided that it would be a spiffing idea to hang onto my leg as I dragged her across the fruit and vegetables aisle, and it was proving harder and harder to push the shopping cart with a small child gripping your ankle like a lifeline, so with an agitated sigh I detached her from my jean-clad limb and hoisted her onto my shoulders instead, earning me a gleeful shriek as little Izzy suddenly found herself several feet taller.

I was just about to place a bag of bananas into the cart when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted someone heading our way. I stepped aside, thinking maybe they wanted to get to the bananas too, but they just kept heading right towards me, until they were all up in my personal bubble.

I turned around, about to give them a lesson about personal space, but the words never came out of my mouth.

Standing next to me was none other than Brody, a shit-eating grin on his face and a basket full baby wipes.

"Hey, shopping buddy. What are the odds, huh?" There was a dangerous glint in his eyes, one that told me that this little encounter was most likely not a coincidence.

I couldn't help my surprised reaction to his sudden appearance, jumping back slightly and almost falling over with Izzy on my shoulders. I hastily shuffled away from him until I had put a good five feet between us.

"What do you want, Brody?" I finally asked, wary. Him being here couldn't possibly end well, even if we were in a public space. After the last stunt he pulled, I wasn't about to let my guard down for any reason.

not particularly worried (being in a public place, and all) but all too aware of the crazy shit he was capable of pulling. The fact that Izzy was with me didn't ease my worries, either; although he didn't seem like he would hurt a child, he was the type to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. The hand around my sister's small ankle clenched protectively.

He flashed me that wolfish grin of his, a dangerous glint in his eyes, and I knew that this chance encounter was no fluke.

"Well, I'm certainly not here to kidnap you and tie you to a chair again if that's what you were worried about." The nonchalance in his voice as he spoke of his crimes deeply unsettled me, and my hand tightened around Izzy's little ankle in an unconscious gesture of protectiveness, not at all comfortable with the was Brody was eyeing me, as if I was something he didn't quite understand, but was determined to conquer. It was similar to the look that those mad scientists in the creepy horror films had just before bashing someone's teeth out and sewing their mouth to someone's ass.

Yeah, Jack had dragged me into watching The Human Centipede on a night when we were both particularly bored and let me tell you, we had both regretted it. While I had gone home traumatized for life the next day, he had spent all night nursing a fist-shaped dent in his stupid, hollow head.

That was when I felt a sharp tug on my scalp, and then another, as Izzy pulled a big clump of my messy hair into her fist and pulled, trying to get my attention.

"Ouch! What is it, Izzy?"

Brody suddenly raised his head up to look at my sister, seemingly just now noticing her.

"I wanna go down, Kimmy, I'm dizzy and it's not fun anymore," she whined, tugging on my hair again.

"Okay, okay, I get it! Just let me bend down so you can get off." I leaned down so that I was a little closer to the ground and Izzy started to wiggle off, and it was only when she was halfway down that I realized that my face was directly facing Brody's crotch, and that to any passers-by who cared to look at the three of us would think that I was getting ready to blow him. Lovely.

As soon as Isabelle was off my back, I straightened up as quickly as I could, not missing the smug smirk on Brody's face as I did. It was actually eerily similar to Jack's signature smirk, but it just didn't give me the same...butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw it.

"Alright, Babelle, how about you go over to the toy section, yeah? I'll come and get you when I'm done with the food and maybe if you're lucky I'll get you another Barbie doll, kay?"

My little sister beamed up at me, nodding her head enthusiastically before running off in the other direction, leaving me alone (although not technically, since we were in a supermarket full of people) with Brody. Yay.

"So, that was your sister, huh?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah, it was, and if you value your balls you won't even look at her again, let alone pull the same shit you did with me. She's under my protection and if you do anything to harm her, you'll have hell to pay." And I was deadly serious. No way was he getting near my adorable little ray of sunshine.

He just scoffed at my threats, not at all intimidated, and I suddenly felt a little stupid. Of course he wouldn't feel threatened. He was a gargoyle, after all. And I was just a puny human who couldn't even get herself out of a stupid rope around her wrists until her knight in shining armor came to her rescue.

I'd never felt more useless in my life than I did around Brody.

"Please, as if I'd stoop so low as to harm a puny child. Please, stop embarrassing yourself, your little sister is perfectly safe from me."

Yeah, right, like I was going to believe anything that weasel had to say to me.

I eyed him suspiciously. "How do I know you're not lying? Trying to lull me into a false sense of security before you take away everything I love?"

Brody just rolled his eyes, looking mildly annoyed. "Jeez, paranoid much? Not to mention self-centered. You know, not everything in the world revolves around you. Especially not me."

I cocked a dubious eyebrow. "Oh really? Because the way I recall it, you spent, like, a month stalking me with your...whatever those ghoul-y things were, and then proceeded to kidnap me. So forgive me for feeling just a teensie bit targeted."

"Oh please, none of those things had anything to do with you. I sent my vampyrs after you purely to confirm something that I already suspected to be true."

That got me intrigued. "Yeah? And what might that be?"

He snorted derisively. "Nothing that concerns you just yet, I imagine, if Jack hasn't told you already. As for me -" He made air quotes with his fingers "- 'kidnapping' you? I hate to break it to you, toots, but you were the one who came to me. And who was I to deny a pretty girl her right to know the truth?" His eyes shone capriciously, and I hated to admit it, but...he was right. And I guessed that, in a way, I kind of owed him for what he did, even if he didn't have to be so American Psycho about it.

I sighed. "Yeah, well...about that...I guess even though it was a total dick move to knock me out and everything...I should still thank you for helping me understand why Jack had been acting so strangely. I'm just glad that I'm in the loop now, even if he never answers any of my questions..."

"You know, you could always just come to me for answers. Unlike Jack, I'm not ashamed of what we are."

I thought about his offer for a moment, almost tempted to take him up on it, but...

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather have Jack tell me when he's ready. You know, trust and all that?"

Brody catches my pointed look and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, I can't be trusted, I'm he bad guy, yada yada yada. You really gotta learn to let go of the past, Kimberly. It'll only cause you pain." His eyes took on a serious glint at that last cryptic remark, but I brushed it off, not really wanting to know what sort of messed up shit goes on in that twisted head of his.

"Yeah...whatever. See you around, I guess." I put the bag of bananas into the shopping cart and wheeled it away, and I just barely managed to catch his last words.

"Not if I see you first."

"Izzy, let go of Eddie's leg! He's not one of your toys!"

Honestly, that girl was unbelievable.

"No! Eddie doesn't mind, do you Eddie?"

Oh God, not the big, brown eyes. There was no saving him now.

"Uh...no, not at all. Don't worry Kim, it's all good!" He gave me the thumbs-up and I shook my head, half-exasperated and half-impressed that my little sister had managed to wrap the lovable goofball right around her little six-year-old finger.

"Aye, that little chica is gonna' be breaking hearts in no time," I heard Jerry chuckle from where he was sitting against a large oak tree.

I sighed and leaned back against his chest, basking in the sunlight, making the most of this unusually sunny day. It would be Christmas in just three weeks, and I was just bummed that Jack would be out of the country. He said that each Christmas his relatives all got together in Paris and had a big, week-long party. It sounded awesome, but it still sucked that he couldn't just stay here with me.

I knew I was being ridiculous and selfish, but I had found myself growing more and more attached to my mysterious best friend to the point that it became hard to sleep at night if he wasn't with me, and since my dad wasn't overly fond of our little sleepovers, the last time I had gotten a full eight hours was when I was invited over about a week ago to work on a french project that Jack wasn't even a part of, we just both needed an excuse to sleep in the same bed.

We had never addressed why we felt this constant need for closeness and physical contact, but that might also have been because Jack acted like it was completely natural to sleep in the same bed as your best friend and often grope each other inappropriately, often in public.

Like right now, as I was sitting between Jerry's legs on the soft grass with my back against his chest just lazing around comfortably, Jack had his head placed quite comfortably in my lap as he was sprawled out on the ground and twirling a loose strand of my hair between his fingers, nuzzling into my touch as I ran my fingers through his impossibly soft, silky hair.

I mean, just yesterday, in class, Jack had pulled me onto his lap before I could even get to my seat and we spent the first ten minutes of class like that; me sitting on Jack, his arms around my waist and his face is my neck with Jerry drawing doodles on my hand, and I even got the goofball to paint my nails at one point, and I had to say he did a pretty darn good job. No one in the class was phased by this anymore, and it was so natural for us to be like this that the teacher had only noticed that we weren't as we should be when I let out a squeal after Jack managed to cop a feel.

It was no surprise that the whole school thought we were dating, and I even heard that there was a rumor that Jack, Jerry and I were in a polyamorous relationship together and often had threesomes in the Janitor's closet.

Yeah, that's High School for 'ya.

"Yeah," Jack agreed from the ground. "She's already made Eddie her bitch, how many little boy-toys do you think she has at school?" He let out a purr as I scratched a spot above his ear, and I smiled fondly at him.

"Well you know, she does take after he sister after all," I boasted, and I heard both boys snort simultaneously.

"Oh yeah," Jerry's words were laced with sarcasm. "You're such a man-eater. Tell me, how is seducing guys by coming to school in your pajamas and dipping french fries in your pudding working out for ya?"

Jack snickered at his friend's joke and the two of them reached over and shared a little fist bump thing. Ugh. Boys.

"Well let's see, right now I'm actually hanging out with four guys - two of which are the most popular guys in our year -, on Halloween I seem to recall being voted 'sexiest fairy' and just last week Brad - you know, the quarterback - asked me out on a date. So I'd say I'm doing pretty well, thanks."

"Wait, so you mean Brad asked you out? What did you tell him? You didn't say yes, did you? 'Cause you know that guy's a total dickhead." There was something in Jack's voice that made me really curious - it was something like a cross between disbelief and...jealousy? No, that couldn't be right, could it?

"Way to go, Kim!" Jerry hollered. "Now maybe you'll finally get some action. You always look so frustrated, maybe now Brad can relieve some of that tension of yours with - "

"His tiny pencil dick? Yeah, good luck with that. You'd probably need a microscope just to find it, let alone be able to make any use of it."

"Jack!" I gasped, shocked by his childish reaction. He was acting like a sulking child, and the thought actually made me giggle, seeing as he was, in essence, just one big, six-pack-bearing child. He was always playing video games, loved chocolate milk and could throw a mega tantrum, as I had witnessed at Brody's place.

I tugged on one of his ears and he growled when I laughed at him. "That's it! I am officially banning all talk of my sex life from this conversation as of this moment. And you," I pinched Jack's nose to make it clear who I was aiming my next words at, "can rest assured that I have not, nor will I ever go near Brody's pencil dick. I head he has an STD, anyway."

I smiled when I saw the corner of his lips lift slightly. I loved the fact that I always seemed to make him smile. It was a smile that he saved just for me, not like that cocky smirk that was always plastered on his face, making him look like he owned the whole fucking world. No, this smile was softer, it was more genuine, and it showed in his eyes, too, like a spark that lit up his whole face.

When Jack smiled that smile just for me, I felt like the most precious thing in the universe, and at this point I was so far gone that it wasn't even funny anymore. I was so close to throwing all caution to the wind and just jumping his bones 'till he couldn't even form a coherent sentence. Unfortunately right at that moment, that wasn't really an option unless I suddenly happened to develop an exhibitionist streak.

...

No, still painfully vanilla. I wondered if Jack had any weird sexual kinks...No, Kim, this is no time to be venturing into uncharted territories. Get a hold of yourself woman, since when did you become such a mega-pervert? Gah, I really shouldn't have let Kelsey talk me into watching Fifty shades of Grey with her...

"Yeah, that's all good and all, but am I the only one even slightly curious as to how Jack knows that Brad has a pencil dick? You well acquainted with it, Brewer?"

"No more than you were with that goat, bro."

"Hey! I already told you, it looked like my cousin Nadia in that lighting!"

"And you thought it was a good idea to make out with your cousin?"

"What? That's not, like, a thing? Kissing cousins?"

"..."

"Shit! When I see Lorenzo again, I'm gonna tear him a new one! He knows I'm susceptible..."

"Oooh, big word, your mama teach you that one, chapero?"

"Yeah, when she wa - Lorenzo!? What are you - ! Hey, come back here, you hijo de puta! Cabron! I'm not done with yooouuuu!"

...

"God, I hope he never changes."

I shot Jack a look of agreement from where we were now both sprawled out on the grass after being knocked over by our overly-excitable Latino friend, and we burst out into laughter from the sheer absurdity of the whole scenario. Aah, lately my life had just been brimming with drama, but sometimes I really felt like I was in some sort of sitcom.

Hah. Yeah right, who would want to watch this mess?

~.~

And there you have it, the end of DACB.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha you thought I was serious? You FOOL! It will never be over! Never!

And, you know, if you wanted to leave a review and everything, that would be chill. No pressure, though. I don't really care. In fact, just don't bother. Leave.

I SAID LEAVE!

Well fine then, have it your way.

*Sigh* This is too much, even for me. Farewell.

-CCC