I was comfortably warm. There was no light to rush my waking. It was quiet and didn't want to be up. Once I decided that I was getting up then it was going to be just work all day. No time for breaks or anything for that matter. Maybe I could just have a little more time to myself. I still felt rather drained.

I jolted awake My head felt like it was buzzing from the sudden awakening. I struggled to pull myself together as I left my bed in an unfocused haze. I struggled with the doorknob for a moment before I was drifting down the hall at a rather unsteady pace. The buzzing in my head making it hard to focus. The scene before me fell in an out of focus, blurring almost enough to make me feel sick. The sunlight that had been allowed through the rest of the windows made my task much harder than it already was. I fell against the door to his room. I nearly collapsed into the room when the door opened.

It was empty and far cleaner than it should have been. It wasn't right. No books were out for me to put away. No wrinkles in the blankets for me to straighten. No child for me to check on and coax awake.

My heart aching for him I fell against the side of the bed. He couldn't be gone. He just couldn't be gone. I needed him. He was all I had. I searched for the pain. That dull throb for a sliver of hope that he was still alive. That it was all a nightmare. But I found nothing. I felt no pain. I felt nothing, but the strangest sense of ease and relief. That was enough of an answer for me. There was no point in looking any further. He was gone. Just like he never existed.

The tears came.

He was gone. I needed him. I couldn't take this. I was alone again. I didn't want this. I never wanted any of this to happen. I wanted him to be safe. I wanted him to be happy. Was that so much to ask for? He made me whole. His happiness was mine. He was my life for so long. All that time I spent with him. All I taught him and gave him meant nothing anymore. He was gone. I would never be able to hold him again. I would never see that wonderful smile again. Never hear his little voice again. Never be able to read to him anymore. I couldn't make him breakfast or tuck him in at night. I could never take him to the library or buy him treats again. Never again would be able to comfort him during thunderstorms. We'd never sit in front of a fire while the rain continued it's steady rhythm. Eating little treats while the thunder clashed with the gentle popping of the fire. Sipping fresh tea while the lightning flashed behind closed curtains. Sitting so close within the same blanket that our combined heat was enough to keep us warm. I would never be able to do that again.

I howled in emotional agony to the house. The sound filling it with sorrow and pain. I screamed since it was the only thing I could do. The only way I could let it out. Though it did nothing to ease what I was feeling. I clutched at the blankets and buried my face in the fabric that still held his scent. The scent of home. Of grass stains I always had to wash out. Of bakery treats and cherry filling. Of tea and tame fires from the fireplace. Of books old and new.

I just barely heard the soft whine over my sobbing. Mint bunny had come out from where ever he had been hiding, but I found that I didn't care. I practically shoved him away when he tried to nuzzle me and he gave a low whine as he perched on the other side of the bed, just watching me. All I cared about was my recently murdered child. I just wanted him back. I needed him. How was I supposed to go on without him? He gave me the will to go on. He was my reason for living. What was I supposed to do now? I screamed again.

The soft creak on the stairs came. The steps drawing ever closer. They hesitated in the doorway. I really didn't care how anyone saw me. I really didn't care what happened to this country anymore. I really didn't care what happened to me. I just wanted it to stop. It hurt so much. I had been willing to take the pain for him, but this was different. This wasn't something I could ignore. This pain was too much. I felt empty.

"... Artie?"

"Go Away!" I shouted into the blankets at America who I could practically hear flinching. I couldn't pull myself away from the blanket to glare at him when he didn't follow my order. This was all I had of him and I wasn't about to to pull myself away from it willingly. Not even as he approached slowly and sat next to me.

"... I'm sorry, Artie… I… I didn't… Don't cry…"

He set a hesitant hand on me which I threw off immediately. I swung at him blindly. He easily evaded despite sitting down.

"Leave me alone!"

"I can't do that."

"Why the bloody hell not?! Haven't you done enough damage?!"

"... It… was the only way. You were in pain and you didn't care and you were wasting away and… I didn't want you to die. You were in pain and I- I didn't want you to hurt."

"Well you can see how well that worked out." I snapped.

"I'm sorry."

"It's too late for that… He's already gone."

I was very aware of how weak and pathetic I sounded. If I dared remove my face from the blankets I was sure it would hold more than a few darkened spots within it's now damp fabric. I shuddered as I attempted to draw in a breath. I was alone again and it was awful. I couldn't possibly feel any lower than this. It was times like this that I hated being an island nation. I was on the verge of sobbing again.

"You'll get over it even-" He stopped and the sound of him slapping himself in some form came. "No that wasn't what I meant. I mean you'll forget- no I mean I uh. It'll get better, ok?"

Better? Nothing was going to be ok again. I had no reason to keep fighting anymore. My only source of happiness was gone and he thought things were just going to be fine?

"Better?"

"Yeah! This will just be a bad memory soon enough and-"

"How could you possibly think that killing a child would make Anything better?!"

I faced him. No doubt I was a mess what with my just getting up and tears drifting down my face. Not to mention my rather drained and possibly starved appearance.

"What will make you understand that he was All I bloody had?! Can you not understand that he was the only one who gave me happiness?! He was my reason to keep going! The only who Liked me! He smiled when he looked at me! And you just took him away!"

"I actually care about you! That thing didn't care what you did for it! It was using you!"

"Don't you dare talk about him like that!" I was so close to trying to actually harm the younger nation.

"That is Enough, Angleterre." France's voice, still unnaturally cold and stern, pierced the air. "It was lying and it did whatever it could to keep you fooled. Even you could not be so blind as not see what it was doing to you."

"That's not true. He had no clue what he was doing to me. He was an innocent child and nothing more."

"It knew very well what it was doing. It was created to destroy you."

"That's not true. You're…"

France sighed and drew forward to join America and I on the floor. "Please don't make me hurt you anymore than I have to. We'll fix this, ok? We'll get you taken care of. I promise."

France pulled me into a hug. America shifted to embrace me as well. I broke down.