A little bit of me, a little bit of you, is the best thing we could ever do.
She had been feeling uncomfortable and shitty all day. Brixton hicks at every turn and she couldn't even find a comfortable position like, at all.
She tried to take a nap, both in their bed and on the chaise, but nothing. She was so uncomfortable, that Sam for a second felt bad for getting her pregnant in the first place.
Yeah, Andy wouldn't hear it.
"Sam, I wouldn't change it. Never. We're getting a baby out of it, so I just need to make some noise is all", was what she said when she was swearing and calling for god during the strongest Brixton hicks she had experienced.
She was still two weeks away from her due date, so neither one of them was worried.
On a Friday they had gone to bed thinking it would pass with a heating pad on Andy's back and his arm around her waist.
Tweedle dee in there had of course other plans.
Just before 3.00 am, Andy woke up to what felt like a gun shot to her lower back.
She screamed. She actually screamed. For god, for the devils grandmother and all her saints.
Sam jumped. Out of bed in a second and looking like he had just seen a ghost. "Andy? What's going on?"
She threw the covers away and bolted to the bathroom, without knowing that she made a trail of wetness behind.
"Sam! There is a little blood!", she called from the bathroom.
"Yeah, I think your water broke sweetheart", he said calmly looking at the wet floor.
"I know.. Its pouring down my legs", she admitted. Almost a little embarrasst over the fact that she's leaking lower body fluids in front of Sam Swarek.
You would think she wouldn't care that much about it now that they'r married, and they've seen pretty much everything of each other, but this, everything that have followed the pregnancy and pretty much whatever might come up during birth, well its new, is the thing here. And not something they have dealt with before, so understand Andy's slightly concerns about her husband watching whatever might come out of her lady parts. She doesn't think she'll care that much once she is actually, well pushing hi kid out, but what does she know, right?
"What happens now? What do we do? What are we supposed to do?"
Sam joins his wife in the bathroom. Watching her fumble with toilet paper, like she is trying to find out what to do here exactly.
"I don't know! I've never done this before!", is what she says while ogling herself up of the toilet.
"Didn't they talk about this during lamaze class? Didn't Traci ever tell you about it?"
She wants to both cry and laugh at the same time. Because despite all the classes they went to, she can't seem to remember a god damn thing the midwife instructor told them about this stage in childbirth once she is in it. And second, she never asked Traci about it, because truth is, giving birth both freaks her out and terrifies her more than everything, and being full of hormones that does little to nothing good for your feelings and makes you lose control over pretty much everything about your emotions and state of mind, the last thing she wants is someone to tell her about the hell she is in for.
Now, now though, she knows that was pretty stupid thinking she could ignore what the whole thing is about. She regrets not having that conversation with her best friend. Actually, she regrets not allowing her best friend to talk about when Leo was born the ten thousand times she tried to. Andy feels like an idiot.
It must be the hormones.
"I don't know, I don't remember. Stop interrogating me! I'm the one who's in labor here", she breathes when a lightning hits her lower back again.
This is not a game. Its the real shit. She's in fucking labor!
"I'll call the hospital. You want to lay down or something?", he asks, reaching out his hand for her.
She chuckles. "Or something? What exactly are my options here?, fold laundry while I wait?"
Well. She didn't mean it to come out that mean. But, hello? She's in freaking labor okay? She's having contraction here and don't know what to do with herself in all this pain hell.
"Sorry. I didn't mean that".
"Its fine sweetheart. You're in pain. You get to pull the card here". He guides her to the bed and call's the hospital. Trying to memorize every word the midwife says while he watches his wife in featal position during what he assumes is another contraction.
When it comes down to it, this whole thing is really his fault. He chuckles from the inside. Then, he feels bad. Sits down next to Andy and rubs his hand in a circle on her lower back, which by the sounds she's making, feels good.
"Sweetheart, we need to get going. They want us to come in now. You're water broke, so they're waiting for us".
He gives her a few seconds to respond.
"Uhu, I just...", she whimpers a little. "I just need a few seconds here...", she breathes as she sits up on her knees.
"Good, this is the worst!"
"Sorry about that. I hate seeing you in pain", Sam comforts for what its worth.
"No, don't be sorry. I wanted this, we wanted this. We're getting something amazing out of it, so I'll live. Come on daddy, let's go have a baby huh?"
Sam does not need to be asked twice. He's having a baby with Andy McNally, the hot rookie that burned him, so there you go.
"Andy, I need you to give me one last, good push okay? He's right here, the head is almost out, come on", the midwife instructs.
"Oh my god! How do people do this more than once? Its the worst!".
"Come on sweetheart, you can this this. One more, and he'll be here",Sam urges as he takes her hand. "You can squeeze as much as you need to".
Andy laughs. "You sure about that? You're not going to hold it against me if I hurt you?"
"Even If I do, I'm the one who get you in this bed, so you're excused. Now, come on, push him out".
And Andy does. She bares down, chin on her chest, and just pushes. Hard and thorough,like there is an evaluation in the end on her effort.
The pain though, is a completely different story. Its like being ripped in two, being shot in her lower back and someone stabbing her from the inside in her lady parts all at once. Its hell, its the worst thing she has ever experienced, but the second she feels something slip out of her and the room is filled with her sons crying, its all forgotten, because Andy, she has never been this happy before.
"Congratulation parents! He's perfect!", the midwife says as she puts the screaming boy on his mothers chest.
Sam can barely make sense of what the stock of midwifes and nurses are saying, because of his sons crying, but he has never been more proud in his life.
He kisses his wife and touches his sons head with a gentle two fingers. "I'm so proud of you sweetheart. Thank you".
"He's perfect Sam. Loud, and beautiful, and amazing and so, so perfect. I love you".
And, thats how long Sam managed to keep himself from crying. He knows that the entire division is going to know that he cried in the delivery room, and that his bad ass detective ego is pretty much gone, but he ant find it in himself to care just a little bit, because he just became a daddy.
That makes up for everything.
"I love you too". He kisses her again and when he's asked to come weigh his new son while she finishes the last stage of labor, its like she falls in love all over again, because she has never seen her husband so proud and content and utterly happy.
Its the best feeling in the world. And forget about what she said about not doing this again. She would have don it in e heartbeat, just to see the look on Sam's face when he held his son for the very first time.
Their son. Their William.