A/N - Sorry for the delay with this chapter - my internet went down on thursday night and i only just got back online this afternoon.
As always, thanks so much for the follows, reviews and favs, I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far!
Enjolras stared around the room. He'd only been there once before; that night 6 weeks ago. It felt slightly inappropriate being back there now; like returning to the scene of a crime.
He walked over the mirror on the far wall and looked at his cheek. There was already a pretty angry looking red welt where the back of Eponine's ring had collided with his face. He ran his finger over the raised skin and winced. He thought he should probably focus on the pain; lock the feeling away in his conscience as a reminder of what a bastard he'd been to her. If anything he'd probably gotten away lightly given what he'd said to her, given how he had treated her.
He turned away from the mirror, walked across the room and sat down on the bed.
He could still see her lying there beneath him. He could still smell her, he could still feel her lips on his neck and her hands grasping at his back. He could still hear the little moans that had escaped from her mouth.
He didn't normally do things like that, alcohol induced or not. Of course there had been girls before her, but that night had been different; she was different.
He sighed and dropped his head into his hands. From the moment he had woken up the next morning he had been a dickhead to her. From that moment he had decided to embark upon a major damage control mission to try and brush the whole thing off as just some drunken misadventure.
If anything he'd needed the alcohol. He would have never had the courage to do what he did without it, he would have never been able to say the things he said.
He didn't know if Eponine remembered what was said between them; he hadn't asked.
And now there was a baby. His baby. Their baby.
He pulled his tie down and undid his top button. He didn't know if he could do this, he didn't think he could be what she needed.
He was terrified. Terrified that he was going to mess everything up; terrified that he already had.
The smell of Chinese food hit Eponine as soon as she walked in the door. It was only then that she realized that she hadn't had anything to eat since the previous night. She really did need to start taking better care of herself. The doctor had given her a stack of leaflets that morning and she made a mental note to actually sit down and read then, not just leave them crumpled in the bottom of her bag.
She could hear Marius and Cosette laughing in the kitchen. For a brief moment she considered venturing in to see if there was any food going spare, but she knew she just didn't have the emotional energy left to make conversation with other people and decided it was probably best to go and listen to her stomach grumble in her room.
After she had slapped Enjolras and walked out of Grantaire's apartment she'd just wandered round the city for a couple of hours. She'd sat by the Seine for a while and watched the seemingly endless stream of carefree people pass by. She'd made up fictional stories for them all; where they were coming from, who they were going home to. Some of them were rushing off to meet up with secret lovers, some of them were hurrying home to children and spouses. None of them were going home alone, they all had someone waiting for them. She probably would have ended up sitting there for most of the night had it not been for an unexpected downpour which eventually forced her to retreat back indoors.
She walked quickly past the kitchen and through the living room. She was right at her bedroom door when she heard Cosette run out of the kitchen and call her name.
"Eponine, hi!"
"Hey Cosette," she said, flinging the door open to find Enjolras sitting on her bed.
"Enjolras is here," Cosette called, about 20 seconds too late.
Enjolras jumped up as soon as the door opened. He looked slightly more disheveled that he had done a couple of hours previously.
"OK, thanks Cosette," Eponine said abruptly, slamming the door. She wondered how long he'd been there for, just sitting in her room. She had no doubt that Cosette and Marius had been dying for her to get home, busting to find out why Enjolras of all people had shown up looking for her. She'd have to make up something in the morning, and she'd also have to apologize for slamming the door in Cosette's face.
"Are you serious right now?" she hissed. "Are you actually serious?"
"I tried to call you but you wouldn't pick up, I was worried..."
She didn't have time for his faux concern. "So what is it you want? Are you actively seeking me out now to call me a liar?" she said, trying desperately to keep her voice down.
"Eponine, please..." he began walking towards her.
"Don't come anywhere near me," she said, backing up against the door. "I want you out of my room now. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can just waltz into my house and expect me to hear you out after your earlier performance? You actually never cease to amaze me Enjolras, I'll give you that much."
She pulled off her drenched coat and threw it over a chair in the corner. She turned round to face the wall, she didn't even want to have to look at him.
"I asked you to leave."
"I know, I know, and I will," he said, clearing his throat. There was an urgency in his voice that Eponine had never heard before. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I panicked and I know that's no excuse, but I didn't mean what I said. I'm so so sorry Eponine and I just needed you to know that."
She didn't say anything, didn't even turn round. He didn't blame her, after how he had acted she'd probably never look at him again.
He made a move for the door, but just as he reached to pull it open she spun round. She pushed her wet hair out of her face, crossed her arms across her chest and looked right at him.
"It is your baby Enjolras." she said with a steely determination in her voice.
"I know," he said, "I know that."
"Then why did you say it wasn't?"
"I don't know," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I don't know. It was the stupidest, most inconsiderate thing I've ever said."
"I don't think I should have to explain myself to you, or defend my actions, but I did think you at least know me well enough to know that I wouldn't try to pass off somebody else's kid as yours. I don't expect anything from you, so if you thought I was going to start demanding money or something then you're wrong. If you don't want anything to do with me that's fine, but I just thought you should know, I thought you had the right to know."
"You don't need to explain yourself to me at all," he replied. "You're not at fault here Eponine, I am."
She didn't think she had ever heard Enjolras admit to being wrong before. She'd lost count of the number of nights she'd sat in the Musain and listened to him argue his point with the others for hours on end until he eventually wore them down. She had never once seen him back down, not once had he ever admitted any kind of defeat.
"I can't believe you just admitted you were wrong," she said, raising her eyebrows. "I guess there really is a first time for everything."
"I can admit when I'm wrong," he replied, trying to appear nonchalant. Now was definitely not the time to start debating his character traits.
The awkward silence from earlier came creeping back. Enjolras wanted to touch her, even to just reach out and put his hand on her arm. Everything felt so cold with so much space between them.
"Well, I really need to take a shower." she said, making it perfectly clear that he had more than overstayed his welcome for the time being.
"Right, of course," he said. "Can we maybe speak again tomorrow,? Or whenever you want to. You just let me know."
"Yeah," she said, "maybe tomorrow."
"OK," he said, "then I'll see you tomorrow."
Just as he was about the turn the door handle she called him. "Enjolras?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry about your face."
"It's OK," he replied. "I deserved it."