Chapter 10

A/N The reviews were a little bit down this chapter :/. Hopefully it was just because James was there and nobody likes James. Otherwise, I don't know.

Also, WARNING: Both Bailey and I are in competitive marching band and we have our huge state competition this Saturday so we will try our very hardest to have the chapter ready for next Monday.

Amar2: Trust me, we hate him too. It was so incredibly hard to write him as a decent person last chapter.

Christine Dalen: You like reading Snape better, we like writing Snape better. I think we can work something out. :P

Abby0512x: Thanks for the follow!

Severus read the letter again and again hoping to obtain some new information each time to put his mind a little more at ease but only succeeded in making himself more anxious. He paced around the room and picked up the letter once more.

Severus,

I have fully informed them of what is happening and what is at stake and precautionary measures have been, indeed, taken. Kindly do not reply, I do not wish for either or us to appear suspicious. I would, however, wish to meet you at the same place in one weeks time to discuss important information.

Albus

Severus forced himself to set down the worn letter once more and try to calm down. He had a meeting with the Dark Lord and the rest of the Death Eaters in a few hours time and it would not do for him to appear so flustered and arouse suspicion.

He sat down in his musty, old velvet arm chair and began to think. He knew he would not receive any information for another week about anything relating to the Potters and it would not do him well to dwell on that fact for any longer. What he needed to do now was to think of a plan of how to re-convince the Dark Lord of his absolute loyalty and prove to him that he did not have anymore feelings for her. He needed to remain in the inner circle of the Death Eaters if he wished to remain helpful to Lily and her family. If he was not in the inner circle, Dumbledore and Lily would lose their spy and their safety, despite the precautionary measures mentioned in the letter.

Severus knew he was accomplished at occlumency, but so did the Dark Lord. He would have to take his convincing one step further than just stating his loyalty. Only one advantage came to his mind however, but it would have to do.

Lily was muggle-born, a fact known by the Dark Lord and therefore was Severus' protection. If he could convince the Dark Lord that he got over Lily Evans because she was unworthy of him, he had a chance.

Severus closed his eyes for a moment though. He hadn't said the word out loud since that fateful day but he knew if he was to fully convince the Dark Lord he would have to use it, and he only had a few hours to say it without cringing.

"Mudblood." He whispered to himself, "Lily Evans- Potter- is a m-mudblood." He hated himself for saying it even though he knew he had to and it was to save her life. And he still didn't believe it, not then and definitely not now. And he had to say the word today, convincingly. It was about time he made the right choice for her.

"Mudblood… mudblood… Lily Potter is a mudblood…"

Severus threw on his black robes and headed toward the door. On his way out he looked into the mirror that hung in the entryway and law how lifeless his black eyes looked and how sallow his skin was. He turned away though, he had minutes before the meeting started and could not be late. Not today.

He apparated at the end of the street and began to quickly walk towards Malfoy Manor. He walked purposefully through the gate and up to the front door.

"Good evening, Severus." Said Lucius when he opened the door for Severus' entrance to the manor.

"Lucius." Severus nodded back as he continued on into the dimly lit dining room where about a dozen people already sat in silence.

He took his seat and sat in silence with the rest, waiting for the meeting to begin. It was no different that any other meeting he had been a part of, but yet it was. Everything and nothing had changed. But he could not think about that, not now. Not when so much was at stake and not when he was sitting in a room with a man very learned in the art of legitimacy.

The last to enter, Avery and Dolohov, sat down and all the seats were filled. The door at the entrance of the dining room clicked shut and all heads turned to the man at the head of the table.

"My loyal followers, I have good news and bad news." The Dark Lord said to the room, "First, though, I would like to hear your reports. Bellatrix?"
"My Lord," she began, "I have continued my watching of the Longbottoms as you commanded."

Severus was barely listening as she rattled off her report on the Longbottoms and received her praise which, from the look on her face, she desired more than anything in the world. She disgusted him.

Avery, Nott, and Karkaroff all gave their reports in time as well. All too soon it was time for the Dark Lord to tell them his news.

"As I said before, I have good news and bad news." He began, "I will start with the bad. The Order of the Phoenix, headed by Albus Dumbledore, has discovered our partial plans to destroy the young Potter boy and steps have been taken to keep him safe. However, I also said I have good news. I have acquired a spy who is an active member of the Order of the Phoenix. With his information, no matter what steps are taken to protect the boy we will know what they are. Currently, they are using a Fidelius Charm for his protection. I want everyone in this room to work at breaking it. That is all."

One by one, the Death Eaters, surprised at the abrupt ending of the meeting, hot up and left the dining room. Soon it was only the Lestranges, Malfoys, and Severus left, along with the Dark Lord.

"My Lord," Severus spoke in false confidence, "I crave a word with you if you would be gracious enough to allow it."
"Of course, Severus," Voldemort said, motioning him to come forward. Severus took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"I just wanted to inform you that I thought about what you said and I have decided that that Muggleborn is not worth my time." Voldemort looked at him, amused.

"What changed your mind?" It took all Severus had not to break. He knew he had to say it otherwise they would all die.
"Lily Potter is a filthy mudblood." Voldemort laughed loudly, an eerie sound which sent shivers down Severus' spine.

"Well then we will do something to make sure you get a girl more worthy of our standards." Severus nodded convincingly and bowed slightly.

"Thank you, My Lord."
"I'm glad you've finally come to your senses," Voldemort stated, almost proudly. "Once you see her and her son dead at our feet, you will know you made the right decision."
"Indeed I will, I must get going however, thank you for you mercy." Severus said politely, fighting the urge to run away as fast as possible and shield Lily's house with his entire being.

As casually as he could Severus left the dining hall and manor and apparated back to his house. He was barely to the front door when his eyes began to sting. He closed the door and sat down at his rickety table, his body shaking though no tears escaped his eyes.

He hated them, all of them. How they thought and lived their lives repulsed him completely. He was never like that, even when he was loyal. He had always known his actions were not right, deep down. He could always here Lily's voice of reason in the back of his mind telling him right from wrong, it was she who had taught him any values to begin with.

But now, because of Lily, he could not leave. He had to protect her, to care for her as she had cared for him before he had so greatly disappointed her. He was ashamed, now, or his actions. He was determined to remedy them, no matter the cost to him. Lily was who mattered now, she was far more whole and pure than he had ever been and deserved a safe life, which he had the power to provide. He could not leave the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord's inner circle, no matter how much he desired to. He needed to stay. He had to fight him.

And save her.