I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters
Was Derek just crying? Derek doesn't cry. What's going on? I think to myself as I watch him walk away. What could have made big bad Derek Morgan cry? Oh no. Derek had just seen me and Hotch leaving my office. It couldn't have been that, though. Derek wouldn't have cared. Unless he did. He's probably upset about something else. But the look on his face when he saw me and Hotch. I've never seen him look that way. I really need to go talk to him.
I move out of the break room, but Derek is nowhere to be found. I look around and see him on the elevator, with all his things. I run up to Hotch's office and tell him that I need to take the rest of the day off, but if we get a case, he can call me. He seems surprised by this, but I don't have time to answer questions, so I just run out before grabbing my things and heading to Derek's house.
When I knock on the door, he pretends to not be home, so I grab the spare key he gave me years ago and head inside. I look around the house for him, but don't find him until I get to his bedroom. What I see there shatters my heart. Derek, clenching the pillow that I used to use at sleepovers, sobbing uncontrollably. I've never seen Derek like this. I didn't even know Derek had emotions like this. I mean, I did, but he usually keeps them locked away and hidden from others. I climb onto the bed behind him and wrap my arms around him. He instantly stiffens and pulls away, looking at me like he's never looked at me before. Anger, pain, and something I can't identify are all burning in his eyes as he looks at me.
"Why did you choose him?" he asks, with a great deal of venom in his voice.
"What are you talking about?"
"Hotch. Why him? Why not me?"
"Derek. You sound insane. I didn't choose anyone. Hotch and I just sort of happened."
"No, you chose him. And you chose him over me."
"I did no such thing. You've never even been an option."
"Are you kidding me?" he asks, jumping off the bed and pacing in front of me. "I've loved you for so many years and every chance you get you choose someone else. It's never been me and it never will. First it's Kevin, then Sam, and now Hotch! I can't believe you're having sex with our boss. I can't believe that you're sleeping with someone from the team and it's not me. I just thought that some part of you loved me too and would want to be together when the right time came along. But I was so wrong. So wrong. You've never loved me. If you did, you wouldn't have jumped into Kevin's arms at the first opportunity after I told you I loved you. You would have stayed with me, been with me, loved me. But you-"
Before Derek could finish his statement, I leapt on him and kissed him for all I was worth. It doesn't take a full second for him to respond to the kiss, pulling me closer to him, lifting me up so my legs are wrapped around his waist. I couldn't help myself anymore. I know I'm sort of with Hotch, but I couldn't listen to Derek's rambling anymore. I couldn't let him believe even for a second that I don't love him. How could I not love him? Derek is everything to me. And this kiss is everything. Everything with Derek is absolutely perfect and makes me feel like I've never felt: whole.
I pull away from him after a long time of kissing, and he sets me back on the ground, holding on to me tightly, partially because he doesn't want to let go and partially because my knees will give out if he doesn't.
"Penelope," he begins.
"Derek, I love you too. Don't think for a second that I don't love you just as much as you love me."
"What-what did you say?" he asks, moving to sit on the bed.
I sit down next to him, facing him, before responding, "I love you, Derek Morgan. I have from the first moment we met and you called me Gomez. I've loved you every day I've known you. The only reason I didn't go for it is because you're you and I'm me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, sounding somewhat outraged by my comment.
"You're a sculpted god of chocolate thunder who has women throwing themselves at him and I'm me, a nerdy computer goddess who never thought that you would notice me, let alone love me."
"I've loved you since I met you. You're beautiful, smart, funny, and to top off your perfection, you have that incredible mouth that is so beautiful and kissable and dirty at the same time, saying some of the hottest things I've ever heard. Do you know how many cold showers I've had to take after having just a simple conversation with you?"
"Well, you don't have to take cold showers anymore. You can have me now. If you want me."
"Of course I want you. What about Hotch?"
"Derek, Hotch is Hotch and you are you."
"What's that supposed to mean."
"You and I. We were meant to be. Hotch will be fine without me. I'll be fine without him. I could never be fine without you."
Derek leaned in, closing the gap between us and pulling me on top of him, kissing me senseless. I could tell right then that this was the start of something beautiful. Derek's always been endgame for me, I just never thought that we'd actually get it to happen. We're both too stubborn to admit our feelings for each other, but right now, we have each other. And everything feels so right.