I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters

This finally happened. We've finally done this. Me and Penelope. This is the best day of my life, I think to myself as I hold Penelope after what is arguably the best sex I've ever had. I know that we are endgame. She is my person. The one person that I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life. That's why I had avoided being with her all this time. I knew being with her would change everything. I wasn't entirely ready for that. I was so stupid.

I thought that I wasn't ready to give up my life as a player. I guess a part of me thought that being a player was better than being with Penelope could be. Boy, was I wrong. Being with Penelope is unlike anything that's ever happened to me. I'm somehow both more terrified and more excited than I've ever been. She makes me feel things that I've never felt before. Not even with the girlfriends I've had. I don't think I ever truly loved them. They were just my attempts at forgetting about Penelope. Especially since I thought that she didn't have feelings for me. She's just so perfect, I still don't understand how she could have feelings for me. I'm just lucky enough that she does.

I look down at Penelope who's drifting in and out of sleep in my arms. She looks so beautiful. Her face is flushed from exertion, her hair is fanned out across my chest, and she's holding on to me like if she lets go I won't be there anymore. It's exactly how I want to be held after today. It's how I need to be held. She opens her eyes and smiles up at me, and somehow she's even more beautiful than before.

"Hi, handsome," she says.

"Hi, there beautiful. Did you sleep at all?"

"Not really. I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because when I wake up you might be gone."

"What are you talking about, silly girl. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I want to believe that."

"But…"

"But, I'm not sure that I can."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm so scared that this is all going to have been a dream or that you're going to realize any second that this was all wrong and walk out."

"I'm not going to do that, Penelope. I love you. I've loved you for so long. There is no one else for me. It's just you. You and me. Forever if you'll have me."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am. You mean more to me than anyone else ever has. You're everything to me."

"Then why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I wasn't ready. And you weren't ready. And, honestly, I thought you'd reject me."

"What?"

"I thought you'd take one look at my sorry ass and laugh me out of the room."

"I could never do that to you. I love you too."

"Well, I know that now, but if I had told you that I loved you all those years ago when I was still taking multiple girls home a night and flirting with any girl that moved slower than me, you would have kicked me out."

"That's not true."

"I didn't deserve you back then. Hell, I don't deserve you now."

"Yes you do. You've always deserved me."

"Well, I'm glad you think so."

"Derek, do you realize how amazing you are?"

"No I'm not. You're amazing."

"Hot Stuff, you need to stop deflecting. You're an incredible man. In addition to being an amazing friend and a perfect lover, you're one of the best people I've ever met. You care about everyone and you work so hard to be able to take care of everyone you love. You're compassionate, kind, loving, generous. You're just everything. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes and love yourself as much as I love you."

"Baby Girl, you're amazing. I love you more than I'll ever be able to say."

"I love you too, Derek."

"Can we talk for a minute about Hotch?" I ask and Penelope stiffens slightly in my arms. "We don't have to."

"No, it's fine. I honestly had just forgotten about all of that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, being with you makes me forget everything else that's going on."

"I love you," I say, leaning down to kiss Penelope soundly before pulling back and looking at her again. "So, what are you going to do about Hotch?"

"Well, I'm going to call him and ask to meet so that we can end it. I don't want to do it over the phone. He deserves more than that."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Part of me wants to tell him that things between he and I just wouldn't work out, but another part of me wants to tell him everything. I feel like he deserves to hear the truth, I'm just not sure that I'll be able to handle the look on his face when I tell it to him."

"He's a grown man, I'm sure he'll be able to handle it."

"That makes one of us. You didn't see his face when I had to go home Sunday night."

"Wait, you stayed there all weekend?"

"Um, yeah."

"But, didn't Jack come back at some point."

"Yeah, he did."

"And you still stayed?"

"Hotch wanted me to."

"Oh shit. He's way more invested in this than I thought he was. Is he in love with you?"

"I'm not sure. I think he might be. He talked about us starting a family."

"Woah. He was not wasting any time. I mean, I want us to start a family, too, I just wouldn't have told you so soon."

"You just did, Hot Stuff," Penelope responds, patting my chest before standing up and walking to the bathroom. "Now, I need a shower," she starts, look at me with a sultry gaze. "Do you think you can help me?" I leap out of bed and follow her into the bathroom.