Chapter 19

A/N We are so close to winter break I can feel it. We both just need some time to do nothing and have time to write. Hopefully that will bring longer chapters but we make no promises. Thank you for all of those of you who continue to read each and every week, you mean so much to us.

Christine Dalenn: We should really learn to stop procrastinating...*goes on pinterest* We have a problem lol.

Carrie: Ole! I love how we can tell who you are just by the name you put as your reviews :).

Benvenue a Bikini Bottom: We will see...

Amar 2: Well of course he is jealous of James and James is skeptic of Severus. We are going to make it more obvious in the coming chapters (that was our plan).

SinnX: We hate him too but we are trying to be nice for those people who actually accept him.

Christine Dalenn: Thanks for the follow/favorite!

October faded into November and Severus sat at the staff table as usual, sipping some pumpkin juice. Right now, he would do anything for a firewhiskey but seeing as he was surrounded by children and he was their teacher, he couldn't get any. Maybe he would have to sneak out of the castle and go to Hogsmeade to get some. As a teacher he always had the opportunity to go but he wasn't sure Dumbledore would approve of him leaving the castle while he was in danger.

The tea a few weeks ago was the last time Dumbledore had given Severus information, but there was really nothing to tell besides him warning Severus to stay hidden. But he was sick of being confined to the castle and having no one to talk to. Even Lily seemed to be writing less and less. It had been two weeks since he had sent her a letter and he still had no reply.

"Any news, Severus?" Severus turned his head and saw Dumbledore standing behind him. He was smiling but Severus could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"None of the other Death Eaters have tried to contact me since the night on the hilltop," he whispered back and Dumbledore nodded. "You haven't heard anything about Lily or her family, have you?"

"James sends me an owl once and awhile and they are all fine, why?" That was strange. James was responding to Dumbledore, but Lily hadn't said anything back to him.

"No reason, just making sure everyone is all right," he replied and he stood up. "I think I'm going to finish up a potion in my office."

"Alright." Severus walked out of the Great Hall and towards the dungeons, he didn't want Dumbledore to see how much it bothered him that Lily hadn't responded. Sure, he hadn't said much in his last letter, but he didn't know what to say.

Once in his office, Severus looked out the window to see that the sun was setting in another day. It seemed strange to him that nothing had happened since the scene on the hilltop. Even the children of the school had stopped talking about it much. Severus was almost desperate for something, anything, to happen. He chided himself for thinking it though, he knew this was best. At least he knew Lily was safe and he was too. For now.

Still, Severus felt restless and uneasy. He paced the office, trying to find something to do to keep him busy but he was at a loss. He glanced out the window again to see the sky was almost completely dark. Nobody, Dumbledore especially, would see him if he went to Hogsmeade now. Madame Rosmerta probably would tell someone but at the Hogs Head he was sure he would be completely fine. No one had to know.

The sky was black with the only light coming from the moon as Severus set off for the Village, the wind snapping his cloak in the air. Once he was safely outside the barriers around the castle, he disapparated to the Hogs Head and walked right up to the bar.

"Firewhiskey please," he said and within seconds, one was in his hand. He found a seat in the corner of the room and sat down to drink. The firewhiskey burned down his throat but he welcomed it.

He needed something to help him clear his head and forget everything, if only for a couple hours. As he took another sip he let his mind wander to the thoughts he tried to ignore, however. He thought about Lily and how she hadn't wrote. And he thought about James and how Severus suspected that he was the reason Lily hadn't written. Severus was worried about her.

As he drank more, Severus' thoughts continued to emerge from the depths of his mind. He contemplated Lily mostly, and how their relationship had changed so much but at the same time not at all.

Two drinks later and his head much more fuzzy, he walked out of the bar and disapparated towards Hogwarts. Once he landed, he started walking towards the barrier with only the moonlight to guide him. He was lucky it was a full moon, otherwise he would have trouble finding his way back.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of a black figure slinking in the shadows towards the castle grounds. He stopped walking and squinted at the figure trying to discover it the person was friend or foe. The person dashed quickly between the shadows of trees, but from the light of the moon Severus could see a person with wild hair, a wand in one hand and something Severus couldn't see in the other. He pulled out his own wand and held it at the ready.

"Lumos!" he whispered and when his eyes adjusted, he saw the figure of Bellatrix Lestrange walking towards him. She was walking slowly, her wand raised as high as Severus' and she had a wicked grin on her face.

"What do we have here? A professor sneaking out of school?" she said in a mocking voice.

"It's hard to believe the Dark Lord would have asked you to come here when he knows Dumbledore has placed protections around the castle that not even he can break," Severus replied and he expected Bellatrix to throw a spell in fury, but she just laughed.

"Itty bitty Snape thinks he's so great with his protection from Dumbledore."

"I would suggest that you leave, Bellatrix, or I will bring Dumbledore out here and I'm sure he'll be pleased to see you," Severus lied. He had no intention to bring Dumbledore into this fight, for that would reveal that he was out even though he shouldn't have been. Plus, he had been feeling ignored by the old man and he wasn't about to go run to him for help. Severus was itching for action.

"But if Dumbledore were to come here, you would never get to hear this. Lumos." She pointed her wand to the object in her other hand and Severus' breath stopped. It was a letter addressed to him in Lily's handwriting.

"Avada Ke-" he began.

"Crucio!" Severus fell to his knees in pain as the spell hit him. The minute the spell ran out, she cast it again. "Crucio!" Through his screams, he could hear her talking. "Dear Severus," she started and immediately his eyes widened in fear.

"No!" he screamed through the pain, but she continued.

"I'm sorry this letter was a bit late, I have been trying to keep busy but there is only so much to do I guess." Bellatrix's voice dripped with a pathetic tone that did not match Lily at all, "James has been more anxious for action ever since we found out about Peter, especially because James was considering telling his friends about the baby soon. It would have been horrible if Peter had found out and gone to tell He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-"

"No!" Severus screamed into the night. Bellatrix lowered her wand and looked at Severus with excitement in her eyes.

"Well, isn't this unfortunate for the witty bitty Potter family." Bellatrix mocked Severus.

"Don't you dare hurt her!"

"I'm sure the Dark Lord wouldn't mind getting rid of another Potter to finish off the whole pathetic family," She could feel his heart pounding in his fingertips. Slowly, he got to his feet and gripped his wand tighter.

"I'll kill you myself before you ever touch them." He raised his wand and pointed it straight at her heart. "Avada Kedavra!" The green light flew out of Severus' wand at lighting speed but when it disappeared, Bellatrix was gone. She had disapparated. Without wasting another moment, he started running towards the castle. Once he reached the doors, he slowed to a fast walk but continued hurrying towards his office. The minute he was safely inside, he grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and began to write.

Lily,

It is no longer safe for you to write to me. Bellatrix Lestrange got to your last letter before it reached me and now she knows you are going to have another child. She threatened to kill every member of your family and she got away before I could attack her. Knowing Bellatrix, she will immediately tell the Dark Lord of her new found discovery so you are in more danger than ever because of me.

I'm so sorry, Lily.

Severus

As soon as he had signed his name at the bottom, he sealed it and hurried to the owlery. He knew this would probably be the last letter that he would send to Lily from Hogwarts, but he still tied the letter to a different owl, just to be safe and watched it fly out of the castle and into the night.

The adrenalin started to wear off from the firewhisky and the encounter with Bellatrix and the panic started to overwhelm Severus. He hurried back to his office as quietly as he could. He locked the door upon entering and turned back to his bed. He jumped when he saw a shape sitting in the dark, but before he could conjure a spell the figure disarmed him.