Chapter 20

We hit 20 weeks everyone! Thank you all so much for your support! It's crazy to think people are still reading this story 20 weeks later. (Sorry this is out a little later in the day than normal, I was out last night and I'm posting this the minute I woke up.)

Amar 2: I hate reading cliff hangers, but I love writing them.

Bienvenue a Bikini Bottom: That's why we love her :).

Christine Dalenn: This is why I forced Bailey to let me write a cliff hanger ;D.

Ranger: Everyone has their opinions and no where did we say this was going to be exactly the same as the book. If it was, it wouldn't be fanfiction. If you don't like the story, then don't read it. It's as simple as that.

Missyick: Thank you! It always is so cool to find out people actually like what we write.

Rocker9514: Thanks for the follow/favorite!

MalfoySnape17: Thanks for the favorite!

Missyick: Thanks for the follow!

"You've been foolish, Severus." Dumbledore remained seated and he must have silently cast a lumos spell because Severus' office lit up.

"I can explain," Severus started frantically. Dumbledore stood up and looked Severus straight in the eye. No longer did Severus see the glint of amusement in the old man's eyes. Instead, he saw actual anger. Never before had he actually witnessed the headmaster like this and he was starting to understand why the Dark Lord feared him. The furiosity in Dumbledore's eyes was hard to meet.

"Enlighten me, Severus, as to why you were out of the castle so late tonight. Students and staff reported hearing screams from the grounds and seeing the Dark Mark appear above the forbidden forest." Severus stopped cold.

"The Dark Mark?" he asked quietly and Dumbledore didn't even have to respond. His eyes told it all. "Who was killed?"

"Dedalus Diggle from the Order was on guard at the time and when I went to see what had happened, I found his body," he replied cooly.

"I never meant for anyone to get hurt, or-or killed, I was just-" Just what? Severus asked himself, but Dumbledore didn't let him finish his thought and instead finished it himself.

"You were just thinking about your own foolish desires, you were too absorbed in you own happenings to think of the consequences you actions could inflict on not only yourself but others. I do not believe you to be an unreasonable man, surely you can understand why your current situation is as it is." Severus felt something tug at the back of his mind.
"I wouldn't have to sneak out if I wasn't trapped in here day and night, ignored and watched like a pet." Severus countered.

"You are here for your own protection! And, I am risking the trust of many of my allies to protect you. I gave you my trust, it's about time to began to act like you deserve it. You being here, under my protection and in my castle, is about more than just you. It is about war, and innocent people being murdered, and the world we know, that you claimed to be sealed from, dissolving in mass chaos." Dumbledore took a deep breath before continuing, "You have acted foolishly, I can't impress that fact unto you anymore clearly so I hope you understand me."

Under Dumbledore's gaze, Severus felt like an ignorant child who was being punished. He felt small, insignificant, and very foolish. Dumbledore was right, he had acted for himself tonight. He finally understood why Dumbledore had asked him what he would give in return for protecting the Potters that night many months ago on the hilltop. He did not ask because he needed a reason to protect, the Potters, he asked to see how much Severus cared, because he knew. Dumbledore had known then and knew now that Severus was a man controlled by his selfishness.

It was his selfishness that had caused Severus to go to Dumbledore in the first place. His reason was disguised as a good deed, but it was only thinly veiled. Severus had only asked for Lily's life at first, not her family's, because he was a selfish man. He only craved her life to be spared. And now, because of his selfishness, Lily was in even more danger, and it was almost too much for Severus to bare. Dumbledore, who had been watching Severus very intently, waited for Severus to say something, to argue perhaps, but the idea seemed foolish to Severus now. Any fight he had left leaked out of his limbs as he sat down on his bed.

"Now, I understand that this has been a long night, but I need to know what happened tonight." Dumbledore waited before Severus sighed and began his story.

"I was feeling overwhelmed so I decided to go to get a drink to clear my head." Dumbledore looked at him and Severus could tell he wanted an explanation. He sighed before complying. "Lily hadn't responded to my last letter and you had said James had contacted you so I was worried and I wanted to forget. I drank and when I was walking back to Hogwarts, Bellatrix was waiting for me." Dumbledore looked at him in surprise.

"You had contact with her tonight?"

"She attacked me." Dumbledore began pacing the length of the room, clearly trying to figure out the situation.

"Tell me exactly what happened."

"She started out mocking me because I was here in your protection and I threatened to call you into the battle when she pulled out the reply letter from Lily." Dumbledore stopped.

"How much did she read?" he asked quietly and Severus could feel his heart racing as he was forced to accept what had happened.

"She knows, Dumbledore. She knows about Lily's pregnancy. She read the letter out loud to me and it's all my fault-" Severus took a breath to steady himself before continuing, "She threatened to kill all the Potters, all of them." Severus could feel hot tears well up in his eyes, but whether they were there from anger at himself and what had happened or sadness because of the feeling of hopelessness that was consuming his body, he couldn't tell. He put his head in his hands, "Dumbledore, she's going to kill them all and I can't do anything about it. I tried to kill her, I tried."

Both men sit in silence, both in deep thought. Finally, after what seemed like a life time, Severus spoke.

"Dumbledore, they are all going to die."

"No," Dumbledore disagreed, "Not if we fight.

Severus looked out the window of his office to discover that the colors of the sunrise were streaking the sky. To him, they were the color of hope.

"Not if we fight." Severus agreed.