I do not own Pandora Hearts

looking for a beta

"There is something I need to confess to you, though. Before I leave."

Oz gazed at the carriage driving away from the Garland's property, both his hands clasped behind his back while his expression remained blank. His eyes shadowed by the many thoughts running inside his mind.

Lightning lit up the already darkening sky, and thunder broke the silence rooted deep within the Garland mansion. Now that Gilbert had left, he realized how eerie it truly was. Shadows seemed to lurk behind every corner, dust decorated most of the rooms that remained unused in the small mansion and he often found himself wondering where the few servants that worked here went once they were no longer needed, he never ran into one, they only appeared when needed.

Would Dalia still come to talk to him now that her lover had returned home? He wondered. The prince glanced over his shoulder, at the closed door in the guest room he was using. That door led to the hallways. Dalia was probably still standing outside in the rain, Oz had seen her exchanging some words with Gilbert before he got into the carriage. He had seen the way he pulled her into a hug and kissed her. Gilbert kissed and held her as if he never wanted to let her go, he kissed her as if she was his most treasured person in the whole world. And when he had finally let go of her, even from afar, you could see it psychically hurt him.

He didn't know what to feel anymore.

The boy walked away from the window, no longer being able to gaze outside.

I'm tired.

Tired of pretending he was fine… it was as if, Raven's confession had brought him back into reality. Even though all the research he had done, even when he made plans to get back what was given to him by birthright, he still had walked in this dream like state. As if none of it was real, as if he still somehow believed he would wake up from this horrible nightmare

Miss Kate would probably scold him for sleeping in until noon, his sister Aida would laugh at him from behind their maid's skirts. Perhaps she'd call her older brother a sleepyhead; perhaps Oscar would be sitting in the tearoom with a newspaper on his lap. He would look up and meet his cousin's gaze with a grin. "What took ya so long, lad?" he would ask. And Oz would have to admit that he stayed up late again because he couldn't put down a book. Would he laugh at him? Say 'Well I guess it can't be helped', or perhaps miss Kate would overhear and scold him for doing such an unhealthy thing and ruining his sleep cycle because of a stupid book.

The realization that they were dead, hit him like a brick every time he remembered. Almost as if… he had to believe it every time again it was brought up. Which was the truth, he realized. His eyes widened just slightly when he realized this.

It was.

His family was dead.

He had seen the shameless pictures of their corpses

He had smelled the sickening scent of burned human flesh and blood.

He had seen the massacre with his own two eyes.

And he still walked around as if nothing happened.

Filthy.

Monster.

Perhaps he was.

Gilbert's confession, he then recalled. Had been what brought him back to reality once again, it had broken all the walls he had build around him with one blow. Not that the structure had been strong anyway, they had been rather weak. Alice would have laughed at his building skills. How dare you call yourself my manservant? Her laughter filled his ears and made him smile.

"The day I found you…. your chain tried to attack us."

Somewhere in the distance, a piano was playing.

B-rabbit tried to attack the two brothers. Gilbert had used his chain to defend himself and his brother. B-rabbit had already been weakened, that's what saved them.

"I noticed the same golden ties of Owl hanging around you…" his chain had been weakened enough for others to actually see his bond with Alice.

The Black Rabbit's main source of powers is their bond with their, the White rabbit. "I had to…" do something. So "I sealed your contract with my chain."

His own words echoed inside of his head,

"The bond had never been broken, you just got in the way." The reason why he couldn't connect to Alice was because Raven had created a bond between himself and Oz's chain, by sealing the other one.

"That doesn't make any sense."

Gilbert had agreed, "It doesn't. But that does explain why I feel it when you're in pain…" perhaps the reason why he cared so much about Oz was also because of this. Because of the forced bond between them.

It'll weaken; the farther he gets from the prince… B-rabbit is too strong after all. The only reason its powers are sealed is because Gilbert has remained close all the time.

Gilbert's presence was like mist. The kind that you welcomed, it wrapped its warm arms around you and made you feel safe while not moving forward.

When he would be gone, that meant the path before him would become clear again. He could run towards Alice once again and be with her.

If he let it happen.

Weeks ago, he would have never thought such a thing.

Somehow, allowing Alice back in, meaning whatever there was between Raven and B-rabbit being broken frightened him.

It meant he had to accept the world. His reality.

All this time, he had lived without his chain, shielded by Raven's soft feathers. Was he truly ready to accept reality again?

"And remember Oz, even though society tells you, you are now officially an adult." Jack had told him once, "You will not let your youth get taken away from you. Let the elders take care of al the adult stuff… enjoy being a teenager for just a little more. I know I needed to hear that when I was your age."

I am an adult.

Responsibilities had to be taken, no matter what age. He was only fifteen years old… was he truly an adult?

The prince left the room, he followed the sound of the piano. It came from a room at the end of the hallway, the music room, he recalled.

How much time had passed? He wondered, while pushing the door open and seeing a soaking wet lady Dalia playing a song. A duet.

He had played it with Alice before, as much as she hated playing on any instruments, she had admitted, "If I can play with you, everything becomes fun!"

Alice.

Raven's presence was crumbling inside of him,

O…. Oz

Wordlessly, he took a seat next to the raven-haired girl. She smiled at him, she had excepted his presence after all, the chair was just big enough for two people. Luckily they were both small, but he still had to sit rather close to her. Her wet clothes soaked into his, he did not mind.

Dalia must have figured how he felt right now.

His fingers easily found the right keys.

The music seemed to break the cold silence inside the mansion, one that had been planted there years ago. With not too many servants remaining and only two people of the pure blooded Garland household left, it truly was no wonder.

We can try, though. To bring back some life inside of his house. It was as if this was what Dalia wanted to tell him.

He smiled; the outside world was a big and scary thing. Sometimes you needed to start closer at home before you took on the heavy burden of saving the world. Sometimes, starting with yourself is the best you can do.

Yes, he agreed with her while turning his head slightly to smile at her. We can try.

And with that, he watched how dark feathers turned into dust and flew away with the wind.

With every key he pressed, he felt a little bit closer.

Until he heard that all too familiar voice once again, ring into his head. She sounded like she had been crying, I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you… I swear, Alice. "Oz!" Alice, my dearly beloved, Alice.

It was quite the entrance they had made, not once in their entire life, had they ever seen lady Sharon in such state. Her clothes merely covering up her lithe body, her hair was a mess and she had been covered in bruises and wounds.

Next to her, the lifeless body of her best friend, Reim had rested.

She had worn his jacket to cover up at least something. Even though her appearance, it did not slow her down at all. She walked with pride towards the throne were now the new Glen sat, next to him the previous Glen's wife had seated as well. Still looking as young as when she made her contract.

The previous queen had still been wearing only black colors, still mourning for her lost husband.

Duchess Sharon had bowed down, as if you could not see the trail of tears on her dirt covered face. As if she had not just gone through hell.

"My sincere apologizes for my discourteous appearance, your grace." She had spoken, "I've come to bring you information of the Vesalius kingdom. But, as you can see; my fiancé and I, have gone through a lot to get this information."

Glen nodded, "I am very grateful to see the Rainsworth women have finally chosen a side, instead of remaining indifferent like many wars before. My servants will give you all the care you need. Come to me as soon as you've fully recovered."

The girl had nodded; out of the corner of her eyes she had spotted the Nightray boy's valet. As soon as he noticed her gaze, he nodded and left silently without anyone noticing.

She was being led away by the Baskerville's servants, they knew of Reim his chain's powers, he would receive all the care he needed while remaining fake dead.

The servants led her far away from the throne, towards the sleeping quarters. Even though her body protested and she was on the edge of collapsing, the girl did not say a word or let out a sound of complaint.

A beautiful dress was already waiting for her once she entered the room.

She thanked the servants, and let them prepare a bath for her while helping her undress.

"Do you wish for anything else, milady?" a maid asked once she was seated inside the bath, feeling some tension leave her body thanks to the warm water. It smelled of roses.

She dismissed them as polite as she always was.

And then she waited.

Waited until she was sure they were gone for sure.

She waited so that she could let the tears roll down her cheeks once again, Women of the Rainsworth mansion should not cry so easily. "I'm sorry grandmother." She hiccupped. I'm so sorry.

He knew of Break's presence before he even saw him. It was obvious after all, he didn't even need to know how the hatter always got his information faster then the others. But he was more then sure that it was no mystery to the man that Oz had somehow found shelter under his wings. It was only a matter of time, Vincent had already warned him, Oh and by the way, happy unbirthday! He had written on the letter he had send two days ago, the same letter that had been the reason the raven had to leave Dalia and Oz behind.

So his face remained blank once he entered the kitchen, where he was greeted by the annoying grin of the hatter.

"Hiya, Raven~" the albino sang happily, it seemed that Vincent had already given up on keeping the clown company. The two couldn't stand each other after all, it was a miracle his house was still standing.

God knows where his brother was right now.

"Break," he greeted his friend from old times with a nod. It had been a while since they last spoke to each other, both had been rather busy after all. There used to be a time where they had talked daily to each other, Pandora had often send them on missions together because it turned out that Gilbert was the only person who could do so without shitting there pants because of Break.

Gilbert more then often had wanted to murder Break, rather then bow down before him out of fear like many other colleagues had done.

"What's with the cold attitude?" the man still had not lost his annoying sense of humor, raven rolled his eyes. He mindlessly threw his wet hat on the kitchen table and walked towards the counter where his brother had placed the ingredients of that day's supper.

"He's not here. Y'know." He mumbled while shrugging off his coat, he turned his back towards the food so that he could face the man properly, while his jacket followed the same way as his hat. Some water splashed on Break. The hatter did not even blink.

"I've figured out that much." As always, Break spoke as if it was all just one big joke to him, he followed the man's gaze and saw that he had found Vincent, working outside in their garden in the pouring rain.

"Listen, Break." The raven then sighed, getting the man's full attention, he felt the hatter's gaze piercing into him, "W-what… will you do, once you find him?" he knew Break was on their side, from the few times he had heard Oz mention the name, he knew the two of them were closer to friends then enemies.

Still- not once had Oz asked him to take him to Break, or to inform the man about his whereabouts.

Break seemed to choose his words carefully before he spoke, "Well," he hummed then, while he held out an apple flavored candy towards Gilbert, who took it without really thinking about it. "First of all, we need to reunite Alice-kun with him. She's been getting ill again due his absence." He spoke as if he was mentioning the weather, yes, nice weather we're having~ don't you agree, Gilbert-kun? Sure is nice to see it's raining once again. Haven't had enough of that!

"And, preparations have to be made for him to go back to Vesalius." He went on, "Not to mention, we have to set right this whole misunderstanding. Wouldn't you agree, Gilbert-kun?" the hatter offered him a grin, Cheshire worthy.

"His grace is still mourning over the loss of his family." He didn't know why he wanted to protect the boy so much. He wanted to use Raven's powers again, to seal B-rabbits powers away for good, and to take the boy under his wings forever. He was still so young, yet had to shoulder so much. "Break, he lost his entire family." He breathed out, as if he couldn't believe that the man wanted Oz to get back into the battlefield after only a few weeks of mourning.

He couldn't even call it mourning. The prince had pushed it all away, he was still in denial sometimes.

"My! You sound like a wife worried for her husband who's ready to head off to war~"

Of course, like you could ever hold a serious conversation with this guy.

"Beak-" he gritted his teeth.

"Listen, Gilbert-kun." All jokes aside, his face became serious while he sat up straight. Raven noticed that he was wearing formal clothes, the dark colored clothes the albino wore were his size, there were no long sleeves that could hide his small and rather feminine hands, the man has always loathed. So even Break has changed… "I'm not telling you I'll push him straight back into battle. I understand that your beloved prince is hurting. As we all are, but war is coming. And we need him." He then smirked, "Besides, now that you've put some distance between yourself, B-rabbit is already waking up, isn't it?"

Golden eyes widened in realization, I forgot- no, he had told himself to forget. Because soon Oz's chain would break the seal with ease, which would mean the prince could choose to let Alice find him.

It would all be Oz's choice, all off it.

The only person who could choose if he wanted to keep being protected was Oz. Not Gilbert…

This was moving way too fast…