A/N: Thank you all so much for all the feedback. I love to hear that my writing is enjoyed by others. It's nice to see some of you have liked my writing so much that you've gone to check out my other stories. I hope my writing is showing improvements ;-). I also love to know where my followers are from, like denl from Belgium. It was a strange feeling to see just how far my words have travelled :-)
The lead up to the third time I almost kissed Maura is a little hazy in parts. The night began at the dirty robber; Maura and I sharing a bottle of wine, and me trying to cheer her up after Jack left. While she was convinced it was the right thing, and that he needed to be with his daughter, Maura finally recognised that sometimes doing the right thing – and being a grown-up – sucks!
I spent our time in the booth directing the conversation away from Jack in a crazy attempt at taking her mind off it. In hindsight, perhaps I should have let her talk things out properly. And soberly. We finished the bottle of wine then left in a cab to my place.
The drive back to my apartment was quiet as we travelled the short distance. The laughter and lightness of the conversations we had at the Robber had ceased. We sat side by side, our thighs touching occasionally as we turned left and right. She was looking out the window, but I knew that she wasn't seeing anything. Not really. Her mind was elsewhere.
I reached over and held her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She turned to me, offered a sombre smile, and as our eyes met, the tears started to fall from her eyes, one after the other in quick succession.
"Come here," I whispered, pulling her head to my shoulder and wrapping my arms around her.
We spent the rest of the drive home like this, and by the time we arrived it seemed her tears had dried up. She got out of the taxi before me and starting strolling up the stairs as I paid the driver. I quickly caught up to her, guiding her up the stairs with a hand on her lower back. As we passed through the front door, I slipped my hand into hers and lead her towards my apartment. I remember it feeling so natural to be holding her hand, and only now am I seeing how small things like this are much more significant than I ever realised.
I poured us both another large glass of wine before following Maura to the couch. I stood watching her for a moment, her elbows on her knees and her head propped up on her hands. She looked so small and lost.
"Ok," I started with my resolve voice as I placed our glasses on the coffee table. She looked up at me a little startled as I continued.
"The way I figure, we have three options for how the night can progress," I concluded as I sat down beside her, one leg tucked underneath me so I could face her and grab one of her hands.
"Three options?" she asked with a sniffle as she wiped her eyes with her free hand.
"Yes, three options. Option number one: We drink ourselves into a stupor, likely resulting in a night of depressing discussions about Jack. This could be a healthy option, if you feel that is something you need," I proposed as I picked up her wine glass and handed it to her.
"Option number two: We drink until we are merry," I offered with a wink and a smirk, "And we can share all of our horrible experiences with men. This could also result in a depressing discussion, however I'm hoping it might be somewhat cathartic."
She offered me a dazzling smile that I wasn't quite expecting. She turned to face me, wine glass in hand.
"Does option number three also include drinking?" she asked with a twinkle in her tear tainted eyes.
"Aaaand option number three: We drink until we don't want to drink anymore and watch silly movies and eat popcorn and have a… pseudo slumber party until we pass out from exhaustion."
"From exhaustion?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "Or from too much alcohol?"
My only response was a wicked grin as I picked up my wine glass and took a larger than normal sip. "So, what do you think?"
"I think there are probably more than three options," she stated with a smile and shake of her head. "But, I'll play along and go with option number… two."
"Option two?" I gasped, disappointedly throwing my body back into the couch. "I was really hoping for option three, but okay."
This is where things start to get a little hazy.
A bottle and a half later, I was done with my list of exes and Maura seemed as though she was only half way. But I didn't mind because the mischievous glint in her eyes was back as she disclosed information about parts of her ex boyfriends' male anatomy in much more detail than I would have liked. This resulted in me drinking much faster than I had anticipated, which, in turn, loosened my tongue more than I would have liked.
"So, hang on," I said, interrupting Maura mid-sentence as she discussed the romantic failings of another of her past boyfriends. "I'm starting to see a pattern of bad sexual encounters here. And here I was thinking that you were all about the sex and having lots of it. What, with health benefits and… all that other stuff you're always preaching to me about."
Her eyes sparkled in the low light as she giggled, leaning into me as she shoved me lightly, jokingly, in my shoulder. "Yes, I do think all those things. Even bad sex is good sex," she murmured, before sipping her wine, watching me over the rim of her glass.
"Ok, so what's the best sex you've ever had?" I asked boldly, ignoring the little angel on my shoulder telling me that this was taking the conversation even further into territory that I have always been quick to avoid.
Her eyebrows raised in surprise as she swallowed her wine. I was as surprised as she was that the question left my mouth.
"Ok, well, let's see," she began, shifting her position to get more comfortable. "The best sex I ever had was in freshman year in college with a fellow freshman."
"The best sex you've ever had was with a freshman?" I asked in surprise. "I always figured men must get better with age. Hell, I'm still waiting for men my age to perfect their performance."
She giggled again from behind her wine glass and I remember thinking that it was one of the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard. I also remember thinking that I didn't know why I was thinking that about my best friend.
"So, a freshman," I said inquisitively. "Garret?"
"Mm, goodness no," Maura replied quickly, finishing her glass of wine. "Garret was… he was good at many things, but that was not one of them," she finished, placing her glass on the coffee table.
She must have seen the confusion on my face. She must have realised, at the same time that I realised, that she'd never mentioned another man from college.
"But…" I started, the confusion on my face intensifying.
"I never said it was a male freshman," she explained.
The pause in conversation felt shorter than it actually was. The alcohol in my system had made it a little harder for me to understand what she was saying right away. But when the light bulb struck, I couldn't hold back my surprise.
"A woman?" I asked, my voice rising up a notch to an abnormally high pitch. "You're best sexual experience was with a woman?"
She simply nodded, seemingly waiting to see how I would react.
"Huh," was the only response I was able to articulate.
After a beat or two, Maura sat forward and poured herself another glass of wine.
"More wine?" she asked, holding out the bottle.
I held out my glass for a refill and Maura emptied the contents of the bottle into my wine glass,
"So," Maura sighed as she sat back in the couch. "What about you? What's the best sex you ever had?"
I looked at her for a moment, contemplating the question. I'm sure my brow furrowed as I attempted to think back through my not so good sexual encounters to one that may have stood out as the 'best'. I must have been silent for too long, because I never got the chance to answer.
"Oh, come on," she gasped with humour in her voice. "There must be at least one experience that stands out."
"Oh, many of them stand out," I replied humouredly, "But not in a good way."
And the moment was passed. I had just found out that my best friend had slept with at least one woman, and we skipped over it like it was just another piece of information. Like learning of her favourite colour, or her childhood hero.
We finished off our glass of wine before agreeing it was time to sleep. As I made myself comfortable on my side of the bed, I could hear her in the bathroom going through her routine. When she finally slipped into the bed beside me, I couldn't help but turn to face her, finding ourselves face to face with the best friend I've ever had. The best friend I had already almost kissed twice before. The best friend I was, again, thinking about kissing.
I brought my hand up between us and laid it palm down on the sheet.
"How come you never told me that you've been with a woman," I asked in hushed tones, desperate not to disturb the stillness that surrounded us.
"It never came up," she replied simply in similarly hushed tones.
I watched her face as my eyes adjusted to the low light. Her eyes were looking back at me, her mouth settling on a small smile. Her hand came up to rest beside mine, our pinkie fingers brushing ever so slightly, sending a rush of butterflies to the pit of my stomach.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the moment to pass; wondering if the moment would pass, like it did the last two times. I took in a shaky breath and exhaled slowly before opening my eyes. I was hoping to find myself looking back into those beautiful warm eyes once again, but instead found myself looking at Maura's eyelids. The small smile remained on her lips and eventually her breathing even out.
I realised in those short moments that if I had open my eyes to find her eyes upon me, I would have kissed her. I was beginning to realise that this may not be a fleeting thing. I was also starting to realise that it may not necessarily be a bad thing.
"Good night, Maura," I whispered into the darkness as I took in her sleeping face one last time before drifting off to sleep myself.